Spike's first death
I sat on a bale of hay, tearing up my life’s work. Not that any of it was any good. Had I been a smarter man, I’d have realised that earlier, stopped writing it. I’d certainly have stopped sharing it.
Maybe Cecily would have loved me, then. I would have even settled for liked.
Beneath me, she had said. How had I misjudged her so? She hadn’t any higher rank, just more popularity. Apparently that mattered to her. It never had to me. Mother had always told me that I was sensitive, that it wasn’t a bad thing, the other boys simply didn’t understand.
Another tear rolled down my cheek and I heard a woman’s voice.
“And I wonder... what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears?”
I looked up. The woman was… well, hauntingly beautiful, I suppose, would have been a good word. She was dressed in black, and she certainly wasn’t like any of the women I knew. Of course, I’d thought that about Cecily, and I’d turned out to be so very wrong.
Still. Dashing? Was she mocking me? I was hardly anyone’s idea of handsome. Good, perhaps, or scholarly, but never dashing.
“Nothing,” I said cautiously. “I wish to be alone.”
“Oh, I see you,” the woman said. “A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength, his vision, his glory.” I stared at her. It was true, of course. I’d often felt like my peers did not see the feats of which I was capable. Who was this woman? And how did she see me when none of the people I’d known since childhood could?
“That and burning baby fish swimming all around your head,” the woman added. Ah, a madwoman. To be expected, I supposed. She’d probably say the same to anyone she’d come across.
“That's quite close enough,” I said, standing up. I’d wasted enough time here. “I've heard tales of London pickpockets. You'll not be getting my purse, I tell you.”
She smiled, leaning forward. “Don’t need a purse.” She approached me. I knew I should run. Shout to a police officer. Anything besides stand here and listen to her ravings. “Your wealth lies here,” she pointed to my heart, “and here,” she pointed to my head. “In the spirit and... imagination.” God, but it was true. “You walk in worlds the others can't begin to imagine.”
“Oh, yes!” I said, before I could stop myself. I may not have been very good at poetry, but at least I’d tried. The world was a wonderful, magical place. No one else could see it.
Wait. Get a hold of yourself, William. I was too intelligent to be taken in by her ravings. “I mean no.” She was so close. Had I ever had a woman this close to me before? Not besides Mother, I didn’t think. Mother. She was very ill. She’d fret if I didn’t return soon. “I mean, Mother’s expecting me.”
She didn’t seem to be listening. She unbuttoned my collar, giving my neck an almost hungry look. My heart hammered in my chest. God help me, I couldn’t pull away. “I see what you want. Something glowing and glistening. Something…” She looked up, clutching her hand as if snatching something from the air. “Effulgent.”
My heart expands
'tis grown a bulge in it
inspired by your beauty, effulgent.
My poem. My word. A perfect, lovely word the others had laughed at. She wasn’t laughing. “Effulgent,” I whispered back, staring at her in awe. I didn’t even know her name, but at that moment I knew, I’d follow this woman to the ends of the Earth. I wanted to be hers, more than I’d ever wanted Cecily. I couldn’t even remember what had attracted me to Cecily in the first place. Looking down at this strange, wonderful woman, Cecily seemed pale and boring in comparison. A twittering, shallow bird who’d never understand true beauty.
The woman smiled. She felt the same way, I was sure of it. It was love at first sight, like in the stories. How had I ever thought she was mad? She was… special. Alluring. Some sort of dark goddess. “Do you want it?” she asked.
“Oh, yes!” I wasn’t entirely sure what it was. Perhaps… carnal pleasures. Feelings and acts I’d only ever imagined. For her, I’d do it. Mother might disapprove. We hadn’t been married, or even engaged. But I didn’t care. I touched her chest, though under all her clothes, I couldn’t find a heartbeat. Hers had to be beating as hard and fast as mine, though. I couldn’t imagine it being any other way. “God, yes.”
She looked up at me, but her face had changed. Her eyes were yellow, forehead and nose crinkled, like a cat’s. I blinked, confused, but before I could react, her fangs were in my neck.
It hurt. More than I would have expected, had I put any thought into the matter before. I could feel my blood draining away, and I shouted in pain. The pain didn’t last long, though. I slumped against the mysterious lady. I was dying, I could tell, but I couldn’t even resent her for it. God help me, it was love.
The last thing I remembered before I blacked out was cool flesh pressed against my lips and a coppery taste in my mouth. Then… it was all over.
Up until I clawed my way out of the grave and my life began anew.
Maybe Cecily would have loved me, then. I would have even settled for liked.
Beneath me, she had said. How had I misjudged her so? She hadn’t any higher rank, just more popularity. Apparently that mattered to her. It never had to me. Mother had always told me that I was sensitive, that it wasn’t a bad thing, the other boys simply didn’t understand.
Another tear rolled down my cheek and I heard a woman’s voice.
“And I wonder... what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears?”
I looked up. The woman was… well, hauntingly beautiful, I suppose, would have been a good word. She was dressed in black, and she certainly wasn’t like any of the women I knew. Of course, I’d thought that about Cecily, and I’d turned out to be so very wrong.
Still. Dashing? Was she mocking me? I was hardly anyone’s idea of handsome. Good, perhaps, or scholarly, but never dashing.
“Nothing,” I said cautiously. “I wish to be alone.”
“Oh, I see you,” the woman said. “A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength, his vision, his glory.” I stared at her. It was true, of course. I’d often felt like my peers did not see the feats of which I was capable. Who was this woman? And how did she see me when none of the people I’d known since childhood could?
“That and burning baby fish swimming all around your head,” the woman added. Ah, a madwoman. To be expected, I supposed. She’d probably say the same to anyone she’d come across.
“That's quite close enough,” I said, standing up. I’d wasted enough time here. “I've heard tales of London pickpockets. You'll not be getting my purse, I tell you.”
She smiled, leaning forward. “Don’t need a purse.” She approached me. I knew I should run. Shout to a police officer. Anything besides stand here and listen to her ravings. “Your wealth lies here,” she pointed to my heart, “and here,” she pointed to my head. “In the spirit and... imagination.” God, but it was true. “You walk in worlds the others can't begin to imagine.”
“Oh, yes!” I said, before I could stop myself. I may not have been very good at poetry, but at least I’d tried. The world was a wonderful, magical place. No one else could see it.
Wait. Get a hold of yourself, William. I was too intelligent to be taken in by her ravings. “I mean no.” She was so close. Had I ever had a woman this close to me before? Not besides Mother, I didn’t think. Mother. She was very ill. She’d fret if I didn’t return soon. “I mean, Mother’s expecting me.”
She didn’t seem to be listening. She unbuttoned my collar, giving my neck an almost hungry look. My heart hammered in my chest. God help me, I couldn’t pull away. “I see what you want. Something glowing and glistening. Something…” She looked up, clutching her hand as if snatching something from the air. “Effulgent.”
My heart expands
'tis grown a bulge in it
inspired by your beauty, effulgent.
My poem. My word. A perfect, lovely word the others had laughed at. She wasn’t laughing. “Effulgent,” I whispered back, staring at her in awe. I didn’t even know her name, but at that moment I knew, I’d follow this woman to the ends of the Earth. I wanted to be hers, more than I’d ever wanted Cecily. I couldn’t even remember what had attracted me to Cecily in the first place. Looking down at this strange, wonderful woman, Cecily seemed pale and boring in comparison. A twittering, shallow bird who’d never understand true beauty.
The woman smiled. She felt the same way, I was sure of it. It was love at first sight, like in the stories. How had I ever thought she was mad? She was… special. Alluring. Some sort of dark goddess. “Do you want it?” she asked.
“Oh, yes!” I wasn’t entirely sure what it was. Perhaps… carnal pleasures. Feelings and acts I’d only ever imagined. For her, I’d do it. Mother might disapprove. We hadn’t been married, or even engaged. But I didn’t care. I touched her chest, though under all her clothes, I couldn’t find a heartbeat. Hers had to be beating as hard and fast as mine, though. I couldn’t imagine it being any other way. “God, yes.”
She looked up at me, but her face had changed. Her eyes were yellow, forehead and nose crinkled, like a cat’s. I blinked, confused, but before I could react, her fangs were in my neck.
It hurt. More than I would have expected, had I put any thought into the matter before. I could feel my blood draining away, and I shouted in pain. The pain didn’t last long, though. I slumped against the mysterious lady. I was dying, I could tell, but I couldn’t even resent her for it. God help me, it was love.
The last thing I remembered before I blacked out was cool flesh pressed against my lips and a coppery taste in my mouth. Then… it was all over.
Up until I clawed my way out of the grave and my life began anew.