[fic] Leaving
Title: 4 Times Jeremy was Forced to Leave, 1 Time He Wasn't
Summary: Basically, all of them are AUs of 3x10 and 3x11. I say AUs cause we have no idea what will happen if anything. 8) Written for Ella, because I love her and I wanted to write something for her. ;;
Warnings: Drug use, very minor/non descriptive violence
1. Denver is Nice
Denver is nice. The Rocky Mountains mountains are in the distance, and it's cold in the winter, but it's nice. Snow lines the sidewalks, and it's clean out here. It's fresh. It's... pure. He never calls his sister. He never calls anyone from Mystic Falls, because he never thinks about it. The longer that he is in the city, the less that he think about anything that happened there, anything about the town at all that he used to call home.
It's better. It feels like it's better. It felt like it was better before he arrived, and he doesn't really question why. He wanted to go there in the first place, because it would be better.
"Hey, thinking about our big assignment? Did you decide what you were going to sketch?" It's Lana. She's a nice girl. A nice, living girl.
Jeremy shakes his head. "Nah, I don't... really know what I was thinking about," he says almost offhandedly as he finishes his second beer.
She gives him a quizzical look like she's not sure what to think of that, of him. "You want to dance?"
"Yeah, sure," he says, and he never would have danced at a party before. It wasn't really his style, but he's not thinking about that. He's trying to focus on Lana and her dark hair and her smile and erase that feeling unfurling in the pit of his stomach, the emptiness, the ache
He doesn't know why it's there. It just is, and every day it scrapes a little more of him away, raw and empty. No matter how many beers he drinks or living girls he dances with or art classes he takes, it's there.
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2. Nice, living girls
Jeremy is not thinking about Mystic Falls. The longer he has stayed, the less he's thought about Mystic Falls and everything that's involved with it like vampires and deaths, and he forgets to wear his bracelet sometimes, the new one. There's no one that drinks cups of anything that's laced with vervain here.
No one knows about the supernatural. They don't think about it for a second.
There's this young, nice, living woman that he meets at a party once, and they're making out. He doesn't think about vampires until she bites his neck. Her teeth are far too sharp for it, and he struggles but she makes him drink her blood too before she compels him out of the party, back to her place, where she kills him.
The funny thing is if he could remember it all (and he will once he wakes up after dying a third time, hungry for blood) is Elena scent him away to protect him from Klaus, and hybrids, and vampires which she had to be around because she's the doppleganger, and it's a vampire that knows nothing about Elena or dopplegangers that kills him.
Because she's bored. One of the three reasons a vampire turns someone. He'll think about that, about what Anna said when he wakes up too, and he'll think about Mystic Falls. He'll think about what Elena did, and he'll come back.
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3. One of Those Nights
It is one of those nights, no different from any other. Jeremy is not thinking about anything in particular. It feels like he never really thinks about anything. He's only been in Denver for a week, but the thoughts don't really occur to him at all. Jeremy's happy here. He's happy until he presses open the door to the home that he's staying in.
The abnormal quiet that has taken over the house hits him first. It's dark, empty like that feeling that's buried deep inside of himself that he hasn't had time to acknowledge. It's so small.
It's their bodies that he stumbles on, bloody and ripped apart. It's no vampire attack. He doesn't know what part of his brain picks up on that, because he doesn't really think about vampires anymore. It's something instinctual.
Jeremy moves into the kitchen, reaching for the largest knife that they have. The breathing in the house. There's something here, and he slices the blade in front of her, sinking it into the thing's ribs. He has no idea what it is. Not vampire, not werewolf, not really human at all, and it's claws catch his arm but the knife slides again into the thing's head this time.
He's breathing heavily over its corpse.
Something dark cast over his face.
His chest clenches up, and he blinks back the burning feeling in his eyes. He can't help but feel this is his fault. Somehow. Now they're dead, and he's left standing in the middle of a kitchen with nowhere to go, nothing to do, completely alone in a foreign city that he's only been at for a couple weeks.
Jeremy doesn't think about Mystic Falls, about his sister, about a home- his home that he had there. The thoughts don't occur to him for a second. He doesn't think twice about it.
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4. Months
It has been months. Elena calls sometimes, but it's hard to talk to her for a number of reasons. Mostly it stems around how hard it is to think about Mystic Falls or anything that ha to do with it, and he imagines she has a hard time talking to him too because her life revolves around whatever is happening there, not the school stuff, the rest. Their conversations are short, empty.
He stays out later than he should. It started as a couple of beers, and it ended up with him being drunk more often than not, high more often than not. For some reason, it seemed like the perfect solution to this really empty, strange feeling in his head and his stomach and his chest that he can't place.
Like he doesn't belong here, like he doesn't really belong anywhere, and it's better that way. It's better if he's not with his sister. It's better if he's here and away, and he doesn't have the reasons why. It just is.
Better.
In the middle of getting high, he sees Vicki.
She says, Go home.
And he smiles and breathes in, leaning back like this is funny when it's not. "I have no home."
You didn't choose this.
And he doesn't know what that means either or why his brain is creating this hallucination. You didn't choose to die either, You didn't choose to be a vampire either, Elena didn't choose to be a doppleganger, Bonnie didn't choose to have him cheat on her, Anna didn't choose to lose her mom, Ric didn't choose to die by Damon's hand, twice.
"That's what life's about," he says instead of any of the rest. It's a series of non-choices.
Go home. It rings through his head even when he's high. Go home.
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5. No Goodbyes
Alaric drives Jeremy to the airport, and it is not until he turns a corner beyond where Alaric can pass that Jeremy rips up the ticket and tosses it in the nearest trash. He gathered as much money as he could from the time that he worked at the Grill, whatever was left that didn't go to bills to run the house.
After he nearly died and Alaric died for him, there was no way he was going to confront Tyler without vervain running through his system. He hates compulsion. Jeremy hated it when it was done to him. He hates it when it's done to anyone, for any reason but he never gets a say in that stuff. It makes him sick, because he remembers what happened the last time, how those memories were taken from him and he never got them back, how he still felt empty, how what was wrong was never fixed.
Yet somehow he managed to let someone use compulsion on him. Again.
Never again. He won't let it happen again.
It was luck that he'd almost walked in on Damon and Elena and Alaric while they were discussing it, because it gave him time to deal with the rage and with the betrayal and with the hurt. No, he can't talk to Alaric about that stuff, because if he does, it's used against him. Like he can't explode at his sister and Damon for one moment, one second without it being twisted into 'what's best for him' like he can't make the decision himself. Isn't it better that he's exploding instead of burying them like Elena does? He smoked to relax himself, to shut down those emotions. They were good at it. He stifled them, stifled it all until they come to him, and he knows why they're there but he has to act stupid.
Jeremy had been skating by while seeing his dead girlfriends all summer. He would pretend if it would give Elena one less thing to worry about. He would pretend and hide and train on his own, taking care of whatever hybrids he could in the meantime. Because he won't be taken out of this fight, he won't be removed from his sister who he loves more than anyone else just because she thinks it'll save him.
Nothing will save him.
He is a hunter like his ancestors before him.
It's his choice.
Bonnie doesn't mention anything to him, and Jeremy smiles and acts the part, but he could tell she wanted to. He'd thought when she'd showed up that maybe she would tell him, try to break him of it, but she doesn't then. It's why at the airport he knows-- Tyler used him, Elena, Alaric, and Damon sent him away, Bonnie let him go...
Jeremy knows there's no one he can trust.
But that won't stop him from fighting either. Nothing could. It's in his blood.
Summary: Basically, all of them are AUs of 3x10 and 3x11. I say AUs cause we have no idea what will happen if anything. 8) Written for Ella, because I love her and I wanted to write something for her. ;;
Warnings: Drug use, very minor/non descriptive violence
1. Denver is Nice
Denver is nice. The Rocky Mountains mountains are in the distance, and it's cold in the winter, but it's nice. Snow lines the sidewalks, and it's clean out here. It's fresh. It's... pure. He never calls his sister. He never calls anyone from Mystic Falls, because he never thinks about it. The longer that he is in the city, the less that he think about anything that happened there, anything about the town at all that he used to call home.
It's better. It feels like it's better. It felt like it was better before he arrived, and he doesn't really question why. He wanted to go there in the first place, because it would be better.
"Hey, thinking about our big assignment? Did you decide what you were going to sketch?" It's Lana. She's a nice girl. A nice, living girl.
Jeremy shakes his head. "Nah, I don't... really know what I was thinking about," he says almost offhandedly as he finishes his second beer.
She gives him a quizzical look like she's not sure what to think of that, of him. "You want to dance?"
"Yeah, sure," he says, and he never would have danced at a party before. It wasn't really his style, but he's not thinking about that. He's trying to focus on Lana and her dark hair and her smile and erase that feeling unfurling in the pit of his stomach, the emptiness, the ache
He doesn't know why it's there. It just is, and every day it scrapes a little more of him away, raw and empty. No matter how many beers he drinks or living girls he dances with or art classes he takes, it's there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. Nice, living girls
Jeremy is not thinking about Mystic Falls. The longer he has stayed, the less he's thought about Mystic Falls and everything that's involved with it like vampires and deaths, and he forgets to wear his bracelet sometimes, the new one. There's no one that drinks cups of anything that's laced with vervain here.
No one knows about the supernatural. They don't think about it for a second.
There's this young, nice, living woman that he meets at a party once, and they're making out. He doesn't think about vampires until she bites his neck. Her teeth are far too sharp for it, and he struggles but she makes him drink her blood too before she compels him out of the party, back to her place, where she kills him.
The funny thing is if he could remember it all (and he will once he wakes up after dying a third time, hungry for blood) is Elena scent him away to protect him from Klaus, and hybrids, and vampires which she had to be around because she's the doppleganger, and it's a vampire that knows nothing about Elena or dopplegangers that kills him.
Because she's bored. One of the three reasons a vampire turns someone. He'll think about that, about what Anna said when he wakes up too, and he'll think about Mystic Falls. He'll think about what Elena did, and he'll come back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. One of Those Nights
It is one of those nights, no different from any other. Jeremy is not thinking about anything in particular. It feels like he never really thinks about anything. He's only been in Denver for a week, but the thoughts don't really occur to him at all. Jeremy's happy here. He's happy until he presses open the door to the home that he's staying in.
The abnormal quiet that has taken over the house hits him first. It's dark, empty like that feeling that's buried deep inside of himself that he hasn't had time to acknowledge. It's so small.
It's their bodies that he stumbles on, bloody and ripped apart. It's no vampire attack. He doesn't know what part of his brain picks up on that, because he doesn't really think about vampires anymore. It's something instinctual.
Jeremy moves into the kitchen, reaching for the largest knife that they have. The breathing in the house. There's something here, and he slices the blade in front of her, sinking it into the thing's ribs. He has no idea what it is. Not vampire, not werewolf, not really human at all, and it's claws catch his arm but the knife slides again into the thing's head this time.
He's breathing heavily over its corpse.
Something dark cast over his face.
His chest clenches up, and he blinks back the burning feeling in his eyes. He can't help but feel this is his fault. Somehow. Now they're dead, and he's left standing in the middle of a kitchen with nowhere to go, nothing to do, completely alone in a foreign city that he's only been at for a couple weeks.
Jeremy doesn't think about Mystic Falls, about his sister, about a home- his home that he had there. The thoughts don't occur to him for a second. He doesn't think twice about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. Months
It has been months. Elena calls sometimes, but it's hard to talk to her for a number of reasons. Mostly it stems around how hard it is to think about Mystic Falls or anything that ha to do with it, and he imagines she has a hard time talking to him too because her life revolves around whatever is happening there, not the school stuff, the rest. Their conversations are short, empty.
He stays out later than he should. It started as a couple of beers, and it ended up with him being drunk more often than not, high more often than not. For some reason, it seemed like the perfect solution to this really empty, strange feeling in his head and his stomach and his chest that he can't place.
Like he doesn't belong here, like he doesn't really belong anywhere, and it's better that way. It's better if he's not with his sister. It's better if he's here and away, and he doesn't have the reasons why. It just is.
Better.
In the middle of getting high, he sees Vicki.
She says, Go home.
And he smiles and breathes in, leaning back like this is funny when it's not. "I have no home."
You didn't choose this.
And he doesn't know what that means either or why his brain is creating this hallucination. You didn't choose to die either, You didn't choose to be a vampire either, Elena didn't choose to be a doppleganger, Bonnie didn't choose to have him cheat on her, Anna didn't choose to lose her mom, Ric didn't choose to die by Damon's hand, twice.
"That's what life's about," he says instead of any of the rest. It's a series of non-choices.
Go home. It rings through his head even when he's high. Go home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. No Goodbyes
Alaric drives Jeremy to the airport, and it is not until he turns a corner beyond where Alaric can pass that Jeremy rips up the ticket and tosses it in the nearest trash. He gathered as much money as he could from the time that he worked at the Grill, whatever was left that didn't go to bills to run the house.
After he nearly died and Alaric died for him, there was no way he was going to confront Tyler without vervain running through his system. He hates compulsion. Jeremy hated it when it was done to him. He hates it when it's done to anyone, for any reason but he never gets a say in that stuff. It makes him sick, because he remembers what happened the last time, how those memories were taken from him and he never got them back, how he still felt empty, how what was wrong was never fixed.
Yet somehow he managed to let someone use compulsion on him. Again.
Never again. He won't let it happen again.
It was luck that he'd almost walked in on Damon and Elena and Alaric while they were discussing it, because it gave him time to deal with the rage and with the betrayal and with the hurt. No, he can't talk to Alaric about that stuff, because if he does, it's used against him. Like he can't explode at his sister and Damon for one moment, one second without it being twisted into 'what's best for him' like he can't make the decision himself. Isn't it better that he's exploding instead of burying them like Elena does? He smoked to relax himself, to shut down those emotions. They were good at it. He stifled them, stifled it all until they come to him, and he knows why they're there but he has to act stupid.
Jeremy had been skating by while seeing his dead girlfriends all summer. He would pretend if it would give Elena one less thing to worry about. He would pretend and hide and train on his own, taking care of whatever hybrids he could in the meantime. Because he won't be taken out of this fight, he won't be removed from his sister who he loves more than anyone else just because she thinks it'll save him.
Nothing will save him.
He is a hunter like his ancestors before him.
It's his choice.
Bonnie doesn't mention anything to him, and Jeremy smiles and acts the part, but he could tell she wanted to. He'd thought when she'd showed up that maybe she would tell him, try to break him of it, but she doesn't then. It's why at the airport he knows-- Tyler used him, Elena, Alaric, and Damon sent him away, Bonnie let him go...
Jeremy knows there's no one he can trust.
But that won't stop him from fighting either. Nothing could. It's in his blood.