10 years and on, for Sophia
G-Ri after 10 years
---
People are always under the impression that after ten years, you'd get sick of waking up to the same face over and over. Especially one that drools all over your favorite sheets and sometimes drapes their leg over you and tugs you so close you wake up with the force of it.
Even I thought I'd get sick of waking up to your dumb face every morning after 10 years but as I'm lying here now, watching you sleep, your nose twitching every so often, I don't know what I was worried about.
The house is quiet, as it usually is. When all of us decided to go solo and work on side projects, you and I moved here, to this little condo, living in the penthouse.
You're letting out a snore though, and I'm trying not to laugh. I'm lazily tracing the features of your face, dragging my finger down the bridge of your nose in some attempt to ease you into waking up.
You get so grumpy when I just shove you off the bed on days you refuse to wake up well after noon. You always whine and say that it's the weekend, it's the only time we can sleep - well, I know that, but the weekend also means it's the only time I can spend time with you.
Even if that does mean that you're just yelling at me for shoving you off the bed.
Your nose is flaring slightly and I kind of want to shove my finger up your nostril. That'd be a hell of a way to wake someone up. I wonder if I've tried it before? I can't remember.
I can't help but groan as you roll onto your side, facing away from me and simply getting into a better position to sleep some more. I think it's time I got up and made coffee or something.
Getting to my feet and not bothering to keep my footsteps light, I'm reminded again of how quiet it is in this place. I guess you were right. When we were moving out, you told me that we should get a small place, a small cozy place just for you and me. We even had a fight over it, when I started yelling about how I need a big place for all my clothes and shoes and went on about Gaho..
Speaking of Gaho, I gesture towards his water bowl as I walk into the kitchen, but he gives me a look that rivals your own when I try to wake you up. He's just lying by the door, old now, old enough at least to have an attitude.
You two are really alike.
And I appreciate you both in my life so much.
When Big Bang disbanded, it felt like everything was falling apart. Regardless of the fact that I had agreed that it was time for us to, anyway. Regardless of the fact that it was in a drunken conversation, a drunken walk home with Seunghyun, that I walked into the dorm and declared that Big Bang should break up.
I wait for the water to boil, and I'm smiling slightly at the memory of Seunghyun. Of course, I see him every so often, but he went straight into acting. He told me that memorizing lines came easier to him than having to write and memorize dance choreography. He told me he liked it a lot more.
For some reason my eyes are burning, and I'm really wishing you were awake now. This is why I'm always clinging onto you. I don't like the idea of letting go of you and thinking to myself, even if it's only for ten minutes... I've had you by my side for ten years.
Now I'm thinking of Bae. If I was ever going to move out with someone, I think he always thought it was going to be him and me. I still see him too. I couldn't live a life without Youngbae, really.
Well, maybe now, with you, but...
He's doing well. Went international. The idiot always had everything in him but had little limitations he put on himself that he only broke on occasion. Dae went solo too, doing something else on the side while singing. I saw him a couple days ago. He was smiling and laughing but when he hugged me, it was one of those "hyung, don't let go" hugs.
I feel arms lock around my waist and I'm startled into the present, automatically placing my arms over yours as I feel you nuzzling into my neck and hugging me from behind. You mumble a soft 'morning', and everything is suddenly so much warmer.
"Morning, Ri." My voice is husky and I don't know if it's because it's the first time I"ve spoken all day, or because of what I was thinking about. But I don't have to know those things, because you do.
I feel you tense up slightly before pulling back, arms still around me, and I can feel your gaze boring into the back of my head. I can feel the concern radiating off of you and I know that I'd given away all my thoughts away in those two words.
"Are you okay?"
I remember before, way back when, when you asked me this question, I would lie. I always thought I did it pretty well too, because you would close up and just nod.
Turns out, you pulled this little insecurity complex thing where you thought I wasn't telling you because I didn't trust you enough to know.
Which was better for both of us because I don't lie to you anymore.
The kettle starts whistling and I turn around in your arms, absently cupping your face and pressing your lips with mine before pulling away and looking into your eyes.
"I am now."
You give me a look, and I guess that was more cheesy than it was supposed to be, but you brush your nose against mine before untangling from me and bouncing over to the fridge.
You start going on about some nonsense and something or another that we have to do at some point later on today or tomorrow and how we have no time to waste when it was your dumb ass that woke up late to begin with.
But none of that matters anymore because I'm making coffee now, and you've decided to make waffles, and I'm smiling to myself because you're talking faster than I can think and if every morning has to be like this for the rest of my life, I don't think there's anything more I want in life.
It's a surprise to us both when the words "I love you, idiot," slip past my lips and cut in through your ramble about how we need some syrup.
There's a pause, and I'm blinking stupidly as I forget how to pour water into a cup, waiting for some sort of response as if it was the first time I've ever told you.
"I know, hyung. I love you too. We're also running out of eggs, so we have to take out some time to go grocery shopping because I want to have kimchi with-"
And you're going on again and I have to close my eyes, letting your words wash over me .
I love you, Ri, and there's no one else in this world that I'd want by my side every morning, and every night, for the rest of my life.
">
---
People are always under the impression that after ten years, you'd get sick of waking up to the same face over and over. Especially one that drools all over your favorite sheets and sometimes drapes their leg over you and tugs you so close you wake up with the force of it.
Even I thought I'd get sick of waking up to your dumb face every morning after 10 years but as I'm lying here now, watching you sleep, your nose twitching every so often, I don't know what I was worried about.
The house is quiet, as it usually is. When all of us decided to go solo and work on side projects, you and I moved here, to this little condo, living in the penthouse.
You're letting out a snore though, and I'm trying not to laugh. I'm lazily tracing the features of your face, dragging my finger down the bridge of your nose in some attempt to ease you into waking up.
You get so grumpy when I just shove you off the bed on days you refuse to wake up well after noon. You always whine and say that it's the weekend, it's the only time we can sleep - well, I know that, but the weekend also means it's the only time I can spend time with you.
Even if that does mean that you're just yelling at me for shoving you off the bed.
Your nose is flaring slightly and I kind of want to shove my finger up your nostril. That'd be a hell of a way to wake someone up. I wonder if I've tried it before? I can't remember.
I can't help but groan as you roll onto your side, facing away from me and simply getting into a better position to sleep some more. I think it's time I got up and made coffee or something.
Getting to my feet and not bothering to keep my footsteps light, I'm reminded again of how quiet it is in this place. I guess you were right. When we were moving out, you told me that we should get a small place, a small cozy place just for you and me. We even had a fight over it, when I started yelling about how I need a big place for all my clothes and shoes and went on about Gaho..
Speaking of Gaho, I gesture towards his water bowl as I walk into the kitchen, but he gives me a look that rivals your own when I try to wake you up. He's just lying by the door, old now, old enough at least to have an attitude.
You two are really alike.
And I appreciate you both in my life so much.
When Big Bang disbanded, it felt like everything was falling apart. Regardless of the fact that I had agreed that it was time for us to, anyway. Regardless of the fact that it was in a drunken conversation, a drunken walk home with Seunghyun, that I walked into the dorm and declared that Big Bang should break up.
I wait for the water to boil, and I'm smiling slightly at the memory of Seunghyun. Of course, I see him every so often, but he went straight into acting. He told me that memorizing lines came easier to him than having to write and memorize dance choreography. He told me he liked it a lot more.
For some reason my eyes are burning, and I'm really wishing you were awake now. This is why I'm always clinging onto you. I don't like the idea of letting go of you and thinking to myself, even if it's only for ten minutes... I've had you by my side for ten years.
Now I'm thinking of Bae. If I was ever going to move out with someone, I think he always thought it was going to be him and me. I still see him too. I couldn't live a life without Youngbae, really.
Well, maybe now, with you, but...
He's doing well. Went international. The idiot always had everything in him but had little limitations he put on himself that he only broke on occasion. Dae went solo too, doing something else on the side while singing. I saw him a couple days ago. He was smiling and laughing but when he hugged me, it was one of those "hyung, don't let go" hugs.
I feel arms lock around my waist and I'm startled into the present, automatically placing my arms over yours as I feel you nuzzling into my neck and hugging me from behind. You mumble a soft 'morning', and everything is suddenly so much warmer.
"Morning, Ri." My voice is husky and I don't know if it's because it's the first time I"ve spoken all day, or because of what I was thinking about. But I don't have to know those things, because you do.
I feel you tense up slightly before pulling back, arms still around me, and I can feel your gaze boring into the back of my head. I can feel the concern radiating off of you and I know that I'd given away all my thoughts away in those two words.
"Are you okay?"
I remember before, way back when, when you asked me this question, I would lie. I always thought I did it pretty well too, because you would close up and just nod.
Turns out, you pulled this little insecurity complex thing where you thought I wasn't telling you because I didn't trust you enough to know.
Which was better for both of us because I don't lie to you anymore.
The kettle starts whistling and I turn around in your arms, absently cupping your face and pressing your lips with mine before pulling away and looking into your eyes.
"I am now."
You give me a look, and I guess that was more cheesy than it was supposed to be, but you brush your nose against mine before untangling from me and bouncing over to the fridge.
You start going on about some nonsense and something or another that we have to do at some point later on today or tomorrow and how we have no time to waste when it was your dumb ass that woke up late to begin with.
But none of that matters anymore because I'm making coffee now, and you've decided to make waffles, and I'm smiling to myself because you're talking faster than I can think and if every morning has to be like this for the rest of my life, I don't think there's anything more I want in life.
It's a surprise to us both when the words "I love you, idiot," slip past my lips and cut in through your ramble about how we need some syrup.
There's a pause, and I'm blinking stupidly as I forget how to pour water into a cup, waiting for some sort of response as if it was the first time I've ever told you.
"I know, hyung. I love you too. We're also running out of eggs, so we have to take out some time to go grocery shopping because I want to have kimchi with-"
And you're going on again and I have to close my eyes, letting your words wash over me .
I love you, Ri, and there's no one else in this world that I'd want by my side every morning, and every night, for the rest of my life.
">