Living Your Indecision
Title: Living Your Indecision
Chapter: 1
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Disclaimer: Fiction
Beta: pyrosgf
Chapter One
Adam heard Kris shift around again in his bed. For the last half an hour, Kris had been tossing and turning in the bed, but Adam had to laugh at the semi-dramatic sigh that came from across the room at the last shift.
“Stop laughing at me. I cannot fall asleep.” Kris sat up and looked across the dark room to make out the figure of his roommate. Adam was lying in his own bed with this back to Kris.
“No shit. I think I got that after your twentieth time ruffling the covers.” Adam let out another laugh.
“I’m anxious and have this nervous energy running through me.” Kris threw his legs over to the edge of the bed and rubbed his bare knees. It was warm in the room so Kris decided on a t-shirt and some shorts to sleep in.
“Since when does Kris freak out about something?” Adam turned to look over his shoulder. “I thought your gauge was set at a permanent 2.”
“I don’t know, man.” Kris looked up and met Adam’s eyes in the dark. “Why are you up?”
“Because of you.” Sitting up himself, he copied Kris’s stance.
“Sorry.” Kris gave a weak smile as he scratched the back of his neck.
Adam shrugged. “So why the nerves?”
“I really don’t know.” Kris stood and walked across the room to Adam’s bed. Adam moved over so Kris could sit next to him on the edge of the bed.
“Homesick?” Adam turned to face the man sitting next to him.
“Probably.” Kris turned to sit with one of his legs underneath him and abruptly changed the subject. “You know, I have been with my wife for seven years. I only had one girlfriend before her. I have kissed three women.”
“Seriously?” Adam asked disbelief on his face. “I have kissed more women than you.”
“Really?” Kris laughed and then looked down and tugged at the blanket underneath them. “How many men have you kissed?”
“A few.” Adam smiled and raised his eyebrow coyly.
“Is it different?” Kris asked quickly and turned away from Adam’s stare.
“Different? For me? Well, yeah.” Adam followed Kris’s gaze and found at he was looking at an old picture of Brad and him at a party. “I really didn’t get that much experience until I was older though.”
“Yeah?” Kris turned back but looked down again. “Why was that?”
“Because I was scared.” Adam’s voice got quiet as he looked over to follow Kris's line of vision.
“Adam Lambert doesn’t get scared.” Kris looked up and was surprised to see the vulnerable look on Adam’s face. “I mean, look at you, what do you have to worry about?”
“This,” Adam raised his hands and motioned down his body. “came later.”
“I cannot imagine.”
“Can’t imagine me with a face full of freckles and red hair being picked on because I was the only one in my fifth grade class that knows the all the words to Fiddler On the Roof and doesn't give a fuck about the Superbowl?”
“No.” Kris went back to pulling at the blanket. “I can’t imagine what it would be like to kiss a man.”
Adam bit his thumbnail and watched as Kris looked up at him under his lashes.
Adam lowered his hand and met Kris’s eyes. “Are you telling me this to find out?”
“I don’t know.” Kris stopped pulling at the blanket and rested his hands nervously in his lap. Moving his hands to sit on them and then run one through his hair. “Maybe. You are the only one I would feel comfortable kissing.”
“You have to make the first move.” Adam kept his eyes locked with Kris’s.
Leaning over, Kris gave a quick peck on Adam’s cheek and then pulled back. It was still dark, but Adam could see the pink covering Kris’s cheeks.
“I would have went for the mouth, but that was a safe move.” Adam smiled. “Care to give it another try?”
Kris nodded his answer and soon Adam felt the brush of Kris’s lips on his own. It was brief, but it was still enough to get both of their heart racing.
“More.” Kris half-opened his eyes before leaning back into the other man.
Adam added pressure to the kiss and opened his mouth a little to lick his tongue along the center of Kris’s upper lip. He was rewarded with slight moan.
Adam hovered his lips over Kris’s as he asked to continue. “This okay?”
Kris silently nodded and moved his body closer to Adam on the bed.
Adam’s tongue moved out to lick at his lip again and Kris opened his own mouth to meet Adam’s advances. As their tongues met, Kris felt the hairs on his arms stand up and a tingle rushed through his body. It was always pleasant with his wife, but he never felt it move throughout his body like this.
Adam raised his hand to rest against the back of Kris’s neck and felt the shiver go throughout Kris’s body as he pulled him near. “Tell me to stop.”
“Don’t stop.” Kris quickly narrowed the gap, his shyness gone. As the lips met, his tongue swiped out and was gently sucked into Adam’s mouth as the kiss deepened. Tongues explored each other’s mouth as hands found skin.
Adam’s hand moved from caressing Kris’s back to his chest. As it lowered, Kris pushed against Adam’s chest and broke the kiss. His well-used lips fought to take in air as he brushed down the hair on his head and stood up.
“Shit.” Kris paced a short distance back and forth in front of the bed. “Shit.”
Adam watched on silently as Kris paced back and forth. “Kris.”
Kris raised his hands to his hair and continued to move along his short path.
“Kris!” Kris heard Adam’s voice again, but now it seemed like it came from a distance.
“Kris, rise and shine.” Adam called out again laughing. He normally didn’t have to wake his roommate. Kris was always in bed before him and normally up before him as well to get into the bathroom before Adam took over. “Come on sunshine, I’m already ready.”
Kris opened his eyes and saw Adam’s necklaces dangling down in front of him. Adam’s hair was already styled and his eyes were lined.
“Did someone drug you?” Adam laughed still hovering over him.
“What? Why?” Kris scrunched his eyes and stopped himself from remembering the soft feel of Adam’s lips on his own.
“You are just acting strange, that’s all.” Adam pushed back from leaning on the bed. Walking out the door, he called back, “We leave in five.”
Kris took deep breath as Adam left the room and thought back to his dream. What was that?
Rubbing his face, Kris shook his head to clear his thoughts and got out of bed to throw on some clothes. There was no time to worry about it now.
The group was moving through their rehearsal for the Circus Ford commercial. Kris was sitting in the audience watching Adam and Allison shoot the opening scene. His eyes were locked on Adam as he moved around the stage. Adam was comfortable doing anything for the show, but you could really tell that he loving being on stage in his costume and make-up. It was hard not to look at him.
Adam came down later to sit next to Matt beside Kris. He started clapping his leg in time with the music and smiled over at the two men. Kris leaned forward to get a better look at what Adam was doing and reserved a bigger smile in return. Kris’s mind was once again traveled back to his dream and Adam’s tongue moving against his own.
Kris stood up and stepped on Matt’s foot as he rushed off.
“Yo, man, you weigh like ten pounds, but really? My foot, man.” Matt called out as he watched Kris run off. Turning to Adam, he asked, “What’s his problem?”
Adam wasn’t paying attention; he was staring off in the direction that Kris went in. He left to follow him without answering the question he didn’t hear anyway.
Adam found him backstage in the male’s dressing room. He was sitting on the arm of a chair with his coat off. Raising his head when he heard someone come in, he turned away when he saw who it was.
“Did I do something that I don’t remember?” Adam asked sitting down in the chair. He couldn’t keep the hurt look off his face when Kris moved as soon as Adam sat down. “I guess so.”
“I’m just having an off day.” Kris sat down in another chair.
“And now you are lying to me.” Adam picked at his nail polish on his thumb. “You are going to have to tell me what I did because I honestly don’t know.”
“You didn’t do anything.” Kris shouted over, surprising even himself with his tone.
“Well something is off between us because you won’t even look at me.” Adam kept his voice calm. Kris never raised his voice and it had to be something serious to work the laid back man up so much.
“I had a dream.” Kris started and then stopped, blushing. Fidgeting around in his seat, he raised his hand to run through his hair. His hair was styled for the video shot and it didn’t move like it normally did.
“What kind of dream did you have?” Adam asked cautiously. He could only imagine what Kris dreamed to get him this riled up.
‘I kissed you.” Kris looked down and crossed his arms. “And I really, really liked it.”
Adam let the answer linger in the room for a minute before he responded. “People have a lot of dreams where they are doing things they never would in real life. It doesn’t mean that you really want to kiss me, or even that you would like to.”
“I guess.” Kris continued to look down and away from Adam’s presence. “Only, I have been thinking about it all day.”
“Kris, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Adam watched as Kris slowly turned to look at him. Meeting his eyes, he smiled. “It was a dream.”
“I think that I want it to be more.” Kris fought the urge to look away.
“Kris, we can’t do this here. Let’s talk tonight.” Adam stood up and offered a hand to help Kris up. Kris started at the hand before taking it and allowed Adam to pull him up. Kris didn’t drop Adam’s hold as they went to leave the room.
Chapter: 1
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Disclaimer: Fiction
Beta: pyrosgf
Chapter One
Adam heard Kris shift around again in his bed. For the last half an hour, Kris had been tossing and turning in the bed, but Adam had to laugh at the semi-dramatic sigh that came from across the room at the last shift.
“Stop laughing at me. I cannot fall asleep.” Kris sat up and looked across the dark room to make out the figure of his roommate. Adam was lying in his own bed with this back to Kris.
“No shit. I think I got that after your twentieth time ruffling the covers.” Adam let out another laugh.
“I’m anxious and have this nervous energy running through me.” Kris threw his legs over to the edge of the bed and rubbed his bare knees. It was warm in the room so Kris decided on a t-shirt and some shorts to sleep in.
“Since when does Kris freak out about something?” Adam turned to look over his shoulder. “I thought your gauge was set at a permanent 2.”
“I don’t know, man.” Kris looked up and met Adam’s eyes in the dark. “Why are you up?”
“Because of you.” Sitting up himself, he copied Kris’s stance.
“Sorry.” Kris gave a weak smile as he scratched the back of his neck.
Adam shrugged. “So why the nerves?”
“I really don’t know.” Kris stood and walked across the room to Adam’s bed. Adam moved over so Kris could sit next to him on the edge of the bed.
“Homesick?” Adam turned to face the man sitting next to him.
“Probably.” Kris turned to sit with one of his legs underneath him and abruptly changed the subject. “You know, I have been with my wife for seven years. I only had one girlfriend before her. I have kissed three women.”
“Seriously?” Adam asked disbelief on his face. “I have kissed more women than you.”
“Really?” Kris laughed and then looked down and tugged at the blanket underneath them. “How many men have you kissed?”
“A few.” Adam smiled and raised his eyebrow coyly.
“Is it different?” Kris asked quickly and turned away from Adam’s stare.
“Different? For me? Well, yeah.” Adam followed Kris’s gaze and found at he was looking at an old picture of Brad and him at a party. “I really didn’t get that much experience until I was older though.”
“Yeah?” Kris turned back but looked down again. “Why was that?”
“Because I was scared.” Adam’s voice got quiet as he looked over to follow Kris's line of vision.
“Adam Lambert doesn’t get scared.” Kris looked up and was surprised to see the vulnerable look on Adam’s face. “I mean, look at you, what do you have to worry about?”
“This,” Adam raised his hands and motioned down his body. “came later.”
“I cannot imagine.”
“Can’t imagine me with a face full of freckles and red hair being picked on because I was the only one in my fifth grade class that knows the all the words to Fiddler On the Roof and doesn't give a fuck about the Superbowl?”
“No.” Kris went back to pulling at the blanket. “I can’t imagine what it would be like to kiss a man.”
Adam bit his thumbnail and watched as Kris looked up at him under his lashes.
Adam lowered his hand and met Kris’s eyes. “Are you telling me this to find out?”
“I don’t know.” Kris stopped pulling at the blanket and rested his hands nervously in his lap. Moving his hands to sit on them and then run one through his hair. “Maybe. You are the only one I would feel comfortable kissing.”
“You have to make the first move.” Adam kept his eyes locked with Kris’s.
Leaning over, Kris gave a quick peck on Adam’s cheek and then pulled back. It was still dark, but Adam could see the pink covering Kris’s cheeks.
“I would have went for the mouth, but that was a safe move.” Adam smiled. “Care to give it another try?”
Kris nodded his answer and soon Adam felt the brush of Kris’s lips on his own. It was brief, but it was still enough to get both of their heart racing.
“More.” Kris half-opened his eyes before leaning back into the other man.
Adam added pressure to the kiss and opened his mouth a little to lick his tongue along the center of Kris’s upper lip. He was rewarded with slight moan.
Adam hovered his lips over Kris’s as he asked to continue. “This okay?”
Kris silently nodded and moved his body closer to Adam on the bed.
Adam’s tongue moved out to lick at his lip again and Kris opened his own mouth to meet Adam’s advances. As their tongues met, Kris felt the hairs on his arms stand up and a tingle rushed through his body. It was always pleasant with his wife, but he never felt it move throughout his body like this.
Adam raised his hand to rest against the back of Kris’s neck and felt the shiver go throughout Kris’s body as he pulled him near. “Tell me to stop.”
“Don’t stop.” Kris quickly narrowed the gap, his shyness gone. As the lips met, his tongue swiped out and was gently sucked into Adam’s mouth as the kiss deepened. Tongues explored each other’s mouth as hands found skin.
Adam’s hand moved from caressing Kris’s back to his chest. As it lowered, Kris pushed against Adam’s chest and broke the kiss. His well-used lips fought to take in air as he brushed down the hair on his head and stood up.
“Shit.” Kris paced a short distance back and forth in front of the bed. “Shit.”
Adam watched on silently as Kris paced back and forth. “Kris.”
Kris raised his hands to his hair and continued to move along his short path.
“Kris!” Kris heard Adam’s voice again, but now it seemed like it came from a distance.
“Kris, rise and shine.” Adam called out again laughing. He normally didn’t have to wake his roommate. Kris was always in bed before him and normally up before him as well to get into the bathroom before Adam took over. “Come on sunshine, I’m already ready.”
Kris opened his eyes and saw Adam’s necklaces dangling down in front of him. Adam’s hair was already styled and his eyes were lined.
“Did someone drug you?” Adam laughed still hovering over him.
“What? Why?” Kris scrunched his eyes and stopped himself from remembering the soft feel of Adam’s lips on his own.
“You are just acting strange, that’s all.” Adam pushed back from leaning on the bed. Walking out the door, he called back, “We leave in five.”
Kris took deep breath as Adam left the room and thought back to his dream. What was that?
Rubbing his face, Kris shook his head to clear his thoughts and got out of bed to throw on some clothes. There was no time to worry about it now.
The group was moving through their rehearsal for the Circus Ford commercial. Kris was sitting in the audience watching Adam and Allison shoot the opening scene. His eyes were locked on Adam as he moved around the stage. Adam was comfortable doing anything for the show, but you could really tell that he loving being on stage in his costume and make-up. It was hard not to look at him.
Adam came down later to sit next to Matt beside Kris. He started clapping his leg in time with the music and smiled over at the two men. Kris leaned forward to get a better look at what Adam was doing and reserved a bigger smile in return. Kris’s mind was once again traveled back to his dream and Adam’s tongue moving against his own.
Kris stood up and stepped on Matt’s foot as he rushed off.
“Yo, man, you weigh like ten pounds, but really? My foot, man.” Matt called out as he watched Kris run off. Turning to Adam, he asked, “What’s his problem?”
Adam wasn’t paying attention; he was staring off in the direction that Kris went in. He left to follow him without answering the question he didn’t hear anyway.
Adam found him backstage in the male’s dressing room. He was sitting on the arm of a chair with his coat off. Raising his head when he heard someone come in, he turned away when he saw who it was.
“Did I do something that I don’t remember?” Adam asked sitting down in the chair. He couldn’t keep the hurt look off his face when Kris moved as soon as Adam sat down. “I guess so.”
“I’m just having an off day.” Kris sat down in another chair.
“And now you are lying to me.” Adam picked at his nail polish on his thumb. “You are going to have to tell me what I did because I honestly don’t know.”
“You didn’t do anything.” Kris shouted over, surprising even himself with his tone.
“Well something is off between us because you won’t even look at me.” Adam kept his voice calm. Kris never raised his voice and it had to be something serious to work the laid back man up so much.
“I had a dream.” Kris started and then stopped, blushing. Fidgeting around in his seat, he raised his hand to run through his hair. His hair was styled for the video shot and it didn’t move like it normally did.
“What kind of dream did you have?” Adam asked cautiously. He could only imagine what Kris dreamed to get him this riled up.
‘I kissed you.” Kris looked down and crossed his arms. “And I really, really liked it.”
Adam let the answer linger in the room for a minute before he responded. “People have a lot of dreams where they are doing things they never would in real life. It doesn’t mean that you really want to kiss me, or even that you would like to.”
“I guess.” Kris continued to look down and away from Adam’s presence. “Only, I have been thinking about it all day.”
“Kris, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Adam watched as Kris slowly turned to look at him. Meeting his eyes, he smiled. “It was a dream.”
“I think that I want it to be more.” Kris fought the urge to look away.
“Kris, we can’t do this here. Let’s talk tonight.” Adam stood up and offered a hand to help Kris up. Kris started at the hand before taking it and allowed Adam to pull him up. Kris didn’t drop Adam’s hold as they went to leave the room.