KILL HANNAH PRIMER
This is Kill Hannah, which you might not know, depending on what comms I post this on. They look like hipster douchebags, but I promise maybe they're not.
Here is their singer, Mat Devine. He's actually a swell guy (or so he seems on his much abused blog) and very pretty. But don't be fooled!
He thinks guyliner is a good look! UR DOIN IT WRONG.
His hair usually looks like this BLOB OF SADNESS.
This is Dan Wiese. (Guitar and backup vocals.) To me he looks like he should be in a heavy metal band, but hey.
Huh.
This is bassist and merch guy (no, really) Greg Corner. I love that this band has existed (in some shape or form) for over a decade and they can't get someone to sell merch for them.
This WAS their guitarist, Johnny Ratdke, but he recently left to pursue what I imagine will be an unsuccessful solo project called "Polar Moon." Am I the only one who thinks that sounds ridiculous.
HOW COULD HE LEAVE. I ASK YOU.
This is, as you can see, Elias. He is what they refer to on their myspace as the "Live Drummer." That's pretty awkwardly specific, so I'm just gonna go ahead and assume that he's not really in the band. They've had, to my understanding, a couple of other members who dropped out long ago. SO THAT'S THE BAND.
They started out as In A Jar UK, until Mat broke up with his then girlfriend, Hannah. He then re-titled the band Kill Hannah. Not bitter at all. They released their first recognized album in 1998, Here Are The Young Moderns.
Shut up, you need this picture.
If someone tries to tell you (I'm looking at you wikipedia) that they had an album prior to this, they're wrong. They had, like, a shitty demo tape called The Beauty In Sinking Ships with no exclusive songs, SO THERE.
Uh, who is that lady? This is a rather elusive EP. I just happen to have the picture,so here it is.
After that, they self released another album (American Jet Set) and then signed to a bunch of different labels, toured like crazy and released 3 more albums. The fourth is due in about four days! :D
Now to THE POINT of this primer: this band loves dudes. Or more specifically, Mat.
Let's first establish why this is good:
So he's pretty and not really shy about being shirtless. (Which is beneficial for pretty much everyone.)
And he's funny! He's been pandering to emo children on his blog by actually answering questions that they ask in the comments. Why do I care, you might be asking yourself. The answer is because he revealed the following in the last issue:
9) ????? What are the top 3 things that you said to yourself that you would never, EVER, do and yet you've done? :D
Michelle
When I was young, I vehemently believed that I would never: a) allow facial hair in the band b) grow up c) make out with another guy
YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. IT WOULD TAKE ME TOO LONG (I'VE ALREADY SUNK OVER AN HOUR INTO THIS SHIT) TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I ADORE THIS MAN.
And you know what? He's okay with the fact that I want to sex him! Just read this from his first round of questions:
2) sent by STEPH
Mat what's it like knowing there are millions of people out there, with your picture on their walls probably thinking dirty thoughts of you?
If by ‘millions’ you mean ‘hundreds’, and by ‘people’ you mean ‘15 year olds’, and by ‘picture on their wall’ you mean ‘Jpeg on their Safari browser’, and by “thinking dirty thoughts’ you mean ‘awkwardly fingering themselves’, then I’d have to say, it feels pretty cool. You just made my day.
One last one, I promise:
Then I saw a band called Puddle of Mudd on MTV. I thought, “holy mother fucking shit. There’s a band on MTV called Puddle of Mudd. Puddle of Mudd? MOTHERFUCKING PUDDLE OF MOTHERFUCKING MUDD! If these lobotomized apes can go platinum, then there’s absolutely nothing I can’t do.” So that’s step 1, realizing that you are the bomb dot com, and that somewhere out there, there’s a guy who’d be lucky to be with you. Also out there, some other girl is accomplishing a lot more with a lot less talent.
Here are the rest of the pictures I uploaded to photobucket so I don't feel like I'm wasting memory:
This little boy apparently told him that the next music video should be of ballerinas dancing all sped up. Huh.
Oh! This is when their tour bus burned down with all their shit in it.
The End.
Mat's Blog: http://fuseblog.typepad.com/kill_hannah/