FIC: five kisses (misha/jensen, pg-13)
Title: five kisses
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jensen/Misha
Beta: Wonderful dress_myself_up , who doesn’t just point to my errors, but actually fixes them for me. <3
Word Count: 3600
Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction, as much as we might wish it were real.
The first time Misha kissed Jensen was at his apartment-warming party, in front of his wife.
Misha had just signed the lease on a place in Vancouver’s West End and had invited a few of his new cast-mates, as well as his Vancouver friends, to a small get-together. Honestly, Jensen hadn’t wanted to go. He liked working with Misha, sure, but he barely knew the guy and what he did know was more than a little strange. Jensen wasn’t sure who was weirder, actually, Misha or his character.
But Misha’s contract had just been extended through the rest of the season, so it made sense to be friends. Besides, Jared had promised to come too so if things got really awkward they could stick together, or blow the party off and go get a burger. Unfortunately, Jared was late (as usual) which left Jensen alone with Misha’s friends.
They were sort of exactly like he expected they would be. Jensen had dressed up a little -blue polo over collared shirt - to fit in, but it was clear he would still be the outsider here. Not only was he at least 4 inches taller than everyone else in the room, but it seemed like everyone else was wearing glasses. Most were deep in conversations using words Jensen didn’t even understand, and some were even reading out loud to one another out of books. There was some kind of jazz coming out of a record player - a record player! - tucked into the corner of the tiny living room. Jensen knew his inferior vocabulary alone put him out of place here.
He wandered into the kitchen to deposit his (probably crappy) wine contribution, and mentally cursed Jared for never being on time. It was one thing to keep everyone on set waiting, and quite another to leave Jensen alone with a bunch of short, intellectual hippies and no one to mock them with.
When Misha found him, Jensen was still in the kitchen. Misha walked in next to a pretty, dark-haired woman, reading some kind of poetry aloud to her out of a leather-bound book. He bumped into the corner of the kitchen table, said “Fudge!,” then looked up and saw Jensen. His eyes lit up, and he closed the book.
“Jensen! I’m so glad you came.” And he did look glad, relieved actually. Jensen imagined what it must have been like for Misha to join the cast, and realized it was probably a lot like how he felt coming to this party, only a thousand times worse. Jensen was still formulating an appropriately friendly and reassuring greeting when Misha moved right into Jensen’s personal space, leaned in, and kissed him on the mouth.
It wasn’t a long kiss, and both their mouths were closed, but it was still a shock. Jensen tried to recover quickly, to act like it wasn’t a big deal. Misha was smart and artsy and cultured, this was probably a perfectly normal greeting for him. But it wasn’t for Jensen.
Misha pulled away, and if he had noticed Jensen stiffen it didn’t show on his face. “So we’re practicing for the soliloquy competition. I drew Hamlet. Are you in?”
Jensen stammered his way through some kind of answer, distracted by shadows of warmth still lingering around his mouth, and ended up with a copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Later, he found Jared and a girl with pink hair reading the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Jared’s face lit up when he saw Jensen, though he didn’t apologize for being late.
“Weird party, yeah?” he said between lines. The pink-haired girl was more absorbed in her own performance than in interacting with Jared, which made for a pretty crappy epic romance, if you asked Jensen.
“Yeah.” Jensen confirmed. “But that’s Misha for you, I guess. Have you had a chance to say hi?”
“Yep. He’s the one who told me I should be Romeo,” Jared answered with pride.
“Did he...” Jensen wanted to ask if Misha had kissed Jared, too, but he thought better of it. “Never mind. You got a way better play than I did.”
“Sucker,” Jared wasn’t even looking at his book as he recited, and Jensen suspected more than one poor girl had been the victim of the Padalecki-Shakespeare combo in high school.
Jensen turned back to his book. The party was weird, sure, but maybe it wasn’t so bad.
~~~
The second time Misha kissed Jensen was on set, in front of the entire crew.
It was a late night shoot and everybody was exhausted. The season as a whole had been pretty exhausting, actually. Somehow they’d gone from telling the story of two brothers who hunt monsters to the entire fucking apocalypse, heaven and hell, angels and demons included. The bigger scale was cool - and the show was getting some attention for it - but it was also really hard work.
So they’d spent the entire day filming fight scenes, and it was well into the night by the time they got the lighting and the cameras set up for Jensen and Misha’s scene. It took place in a parking lot, and Dean was supposed to reluctantly swear his loyalty to the angels. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if they hadn’t insisted on a huge, sweeping, dramatic overhead shot of the two of them standing together. But because they had, Jensen and Misha spent at least an hour standing in a parking lot looking dramatic while everyone else worked around them.
“So this is awkward.”
“Is it?” Misha sounded genuinely surprised. He barely moved his mouth as he spoke, in case they were finally actually filming up above. They were standing a bit too close together - standard Dean and Castiel distance - and Jensen could feel Misha’s breath on his own face. It smelled faintly like peppermint.
“This isn’t awkward for you at all is it?”
“No.” Misha’s voice was pitched Cas-low. Why he bothered to stay in character for an hour of standing still Jensen had no idea. “Honestly, this is the easiest gig I’ve ever had. We are being paid to stand here and look at each other.”
“Action!” Someone called from Jensen’s left, so he didn’t have a chance to reply. He fell silent and met Misha’s eyes. He was Dean now - proud but desperate and swearing to obey angels he hadn’t even believed existed until one pulled him from Hell.
He and Misha stayed silent for several minutes - staring - as several cameramen moved around them, and the one hanging from a crane above their heads zoomed in loudly. Then - and this wasn’t in the script - Misha had stepped even further into Jensen’s space.
He wrapped one hand around the back of Jensen’s neck and pulled his face down to meet his. By the time Jensen realized what was happening it was too late to pull back, and besides, the night and the quiet and all the staring had made Jensen a little fuzzy. But by the time he opened his mouth to protest it was covered by Misha’s.
This kiss was much less casual than the first, open-mouthed and intense. Misha’s grip on his neck was firm, not that Jensen thought he would’ve pulled away anyway; he was still in Dean’s headspace and the scene had been all about submission. Jensen felt caught between warm breath, peppermint and the hand on the nape of his neck for a long moment, before laughter and catcalls brought him back to his senses.
Misha pulled away, and Castiel’s intensity was quickly replaced by Misha’s shit-eating grin. He turned to a nearby camera, “Highlight of the blooper reel, right there.”
Jensen took a step back, wiped his mouth and shoved Misha’s shoulder. Misha just smiled as he walked off set, accepting a number of high fives from the crew. Jensen watched him go and noticed that Misha did not wipe his mouth.
For some reason, the cut didn’t make the blooper reel.
~~~
The third time Misha kissed Jensen was in Jared’s trailer, and he kissed Jared too.
“So you’ve fucked guys, then?”
Jensen buried his face in his hands. Jared was drunk, and drunk Jared asked really inappropriate questions. “God, man, shuddup.”
“Why?” Jared gestured a little too wildly, beer bottle in hand. Jensen ducked to avoid getting splashed.
“’Cause you just don’t ask people shit like that out of nowhere.” Jensen’s face felt hot and he wasn’t quite sure why, maybe it was the beer?
The smirk Misha was giving him certainly didn’t help matters. “It’s okay, Jensen, I don’t mind.” He turned to Jared, “You haven’t? Honestly, actors have been such a letdown.”
“Why?” Jensen was a little nervous taking part in this conversation, but he wanted to defend his colleagues from Misha’s tone of mild superiority.
“Oh, you know,” Misha said, although obviously Jensen didn’t know or he wouldn’t be asking. “This is my third - maybe fourth career - and Hollywood has this image of being all art, drugs, sex. That’s basically why I joined up. And none of you seem to actually live up to that reputation. You’re as apple pie and vanilla ice cream as they come.” Was there something suggestive about how Misha said ‘ice cream’?
“Danneel had a threesome once. With another girl. At a party.” Jensen didn’t mean to revel that piece of information, but he hated that Misha thought they were all so boring and he’d needed to say something.
“Well then Danneel is badass and hot, but you two? Texan as they come. Honestly, I thought it was an act. I was shocked when I actually met you guys and realized you were actually straight.”
Jared spit a mouthful of beer onto the floor and Jensen was glad they were in his trailer. “Why is that surprising?”
Misha chuckled and tilted his head conspiringly in Jensen’s direction. “You know, you two and your chemistry or whatever.”
Jared laughed so hard the trailer shook. When Misha only raised his eyebrows in response, he stopped abruptly. “No seriously, I’m straight. So’s Jensen.” His eyes were slightly glazed.
“Dude,” Jensen snapped, “stop picturing my fiancée naked.”
Misha ignored Jensen. “Yeah, sure, whatever.” He leaned back in his chair so far Jensen thought it might fall over. “But how can you be sure?”
“What?”
“How can you be sure you’re completely straight,” Misha spoke slowly, and Jensen wasn’t sure if he was teasing Jared or if he was actually trying to help his drunken cast mate, “if you’ve never even been with a guy?”
Apparently Jared was just drunk enough for this kind of logic to work. “Shit.” He sounded genuinely concerned and more than a little alarmed. “Man, I’ve never even kissed a dude when it wasn’t for work.”
Jensen didn’t remember Jared having auditioned for any gay roles, and he lost himself momentarily in trying to figure out what the hell Jared was talking about. By the time he re-focused, Jared and Misha were kissing.
Or Misha was kissing Jared and Jared was giggling hysterically. It would have been maybe a little adorable and hilarious if it hadn’t also caused a stabbing pain in Jensen’s chest. He looked quickly away.
“Ow” Jared said, and Jensen thought maybe he was having chest pains too. But when Jensen turned back Jared was no longer on his chair, and was instead lying in a heap on the floor.
Misha removed the half-full beer bottle from his hand, saying in a calm firm voice “I think you’ve had enough.” The sound was halfway between Misha’s voice and Castiel’s, and for some reason it made Jensen’s stomach leap into his throat. He swallowed hard.
Misha heard his swallow somehow, or maybe he saw something on Jensen’s face, because he stepped over Jared’s body and reached Jensen in three steps.
Maybe Jensen should have been expecting it at this point, but he wasn’t. Misha’s mouth against his was still a surprise. This time, though, Jensen was aware enough to open his mouth and to kiss back. He caught hold of the sweet-bitter taste of beer in Misha’s mouth, felt the solid warmth of Misha’s arm around his waist, ready to catch him if he fell, too. He also heard someone make a breathy little moan sound, and he sort of suspected that person was him.
There was motion and depth to this kiss. Jensen was pretty sure it lasted more than ten seconds, and no matter how unconventional Misha was, Jensen was pretty sure ten seconds couldn’t count as purely platonic. For a moment, Jensen thought he might be able to deal with that.
“Guys.” Jared’s voice was muffled, probably because he was talking mostly into the floor. “Guys, I think I’m still straight.”
Misha pulled away from Jensen, let go of his waist reluctantly. He took a swig from Jared’s beer. “That’s great news, Jared.” He let his voice drop to a whisper and brushed Jensen’s hand with his own, “What about you?”
~~~
The fourth time Misha kissed Jensen was at convention in LA, in front of two hundred of their biggest fans.
Someone had asked Jared and Jensen how they felt about fan fiction. The MC had tried to cut her off but she had been persistent, insisting that “Misha thinks it’s great.”
“Yeah well,” Jared tried to diffuse the tension building in the air, “Misha also thought making Karla was a great idea.”
The room exploded into loud whispers and more than one yelled protest. Apparently it was common knowledge that Misha hadn’t thought making Karla was a great idea, and Jared was a moron for even bringing it up.
Jensen sat back and waited for the chaos to subside, so he was probably the first to notice Misha emerging from backstage, spare microphone in hand. He gestured for Misha to stop - finger sliding across his throat - but was, of course, ignored.
“What’s this I hear about some insolent fool besmirching my fine name?” His entrance was accompanied by equal parts laughter and whistling from the audience. One fan - someone Misha appeared to recognize personally - explained the situation briefly.
Misha gave Jared a dirty look. “I think you very much for your loyalty, friends and servants. As anyone with half a brain knows, I despise Karla. Please don’t see it. Now what’s this about you guys and fan fic?”
“I didn’t say anything about fan fic!” Jared looked genuinely hurt by the crowd’s betrayal. He was pouting, and Jensen had to admit it was a bit weird how Misha had managed to so quickly overshadow the actual stars of the show.
“You guys need to lighten up. They’re just stories. Besides,” Misha dropped his voice and Jensen could hear the joke coming, “everyone knows Dean and Cas are totally doing it.”
The crowd erupted and Misha looked much too pleased with himself. Then he narrowed his eyes in Jensen’s direction.
This time it was a stage kiss, close-mouthed except for the loud exaggerated smacking noise, and with lots of faux-groping which barely actually touched Jensen at all. The crowd didn’t seem to mind - they screamed and whistled and flashed their cameras - but Jensen was pissed.
It wasn’t that there were going to be pictures of him kissing a dude all over the Internet tomorrow, or that Misha continued to steal his spotlight. It was how cold and sterile and false this kiss seemed. Jensen had felt, when Misha had kissed him before, that there was something behind the kisses, even if they were for show. There had been warmth, at least. This kiss felt like a step backwards, though Jensen hadn’t known until that moment he’d been hoping they were going somewhere.
The next day Supernatural fandom would speculate that Jensen had been quiet and grumpy through the rest of the panel because he was embarrassed. They would be wrong.
~~~
The first time Jensen kissed Misha they were alone in Misha’s hotel room.
Immediately following the autograph session, Jensen found himself knocking angrily on Misha’s door. He didn’t know what he wanted to say, he just knew he was pissed. Actually, talking was overrated...maybe he would just punch Misha in the face.
But when Misha opened the door his face was already apologetic, and he was holding out a chocolate bar, so Jensen was too startled to throw punches.
“Peace offering?” Misha brandished the chocolate bar like a sword, which Jensen thought was sending mixed messages. That seemed to be specialty of Misha’s, actually. “I’m really sorry I did that. It seemed like it would be funny at the time, but you don’t like those kinds of rumours and I should have known better.”
Misha was rarely this sincere, and the part of Jensen’s brain that wasn’t fuming thought it was funny that he was so serious now, and also so totally wrong.
“That’s not it.” Jensen batted the chocolate bar out of Misha’s hand, and if fell to the ground. Misha watched it intently, and it surprised Jensen to realize he was doing it to avoid looking at Jensen. “I’m not mad because of any rumours.”
“Then why are you mad, and, more importantly, what can I do to make it better since my chocolate is apparently unsatisfactory to you?” Misha was a good actor, but the joke was strained.
Jensen still didn’t know what to say, but instead of punching Misha in the mouth, he kissed him. It felt surprisingly natural, and it was nice to take the lead for once. This time it was Misha taken aback, and Jensen felt a thrill run through his body from his lips to the tips of his toes. Kissing, he decided, was much better than punching.
Misha caught on quickly and pulled Jensen into the room as they kissed, struggling to guide them through the door without separating their mouths. The door slammed itself behind them, and the noise startled them apart.
They stood staring at one another, not in character now but still standing too close together. The lights in the room were very bright, the air conditioning was freezing and Jensen’s anger was gone completely. This had a sobering effect.
“I’m engaged,” Jensen said, biting his lip, “come to think of it, you’re married.” He didn’t want to say it, knew that saying the words out loud would make them feel real. Jensen hadn’t thought about Danneel before, hadn’t been sure there was anything behind Misha’s flirtation but Misha just being Misha. Until Misha had kissed him on stage and it had felt so horribly empty, Jensen hadn’t even been sure the other kisses had meant anything to him.
But obviously they did, Jensen had to admit now. Which meant he was way out of line - had fucked up already, actually - and this definitely had to stop. The decision did nothing to lessen his guilt; in fact, it made him feel worse, because Misha’s contract for season six had just been signed, and he would have to see Misha on a regular basis for at least one more year. He was already dreading the twin burden of guilt and temptation.
The laughter in Misha’s eyes was completely inappropriate and sort of offensive, but at least it startled Jensen out of his own thoughts. “Jensen, Vicki’s not here because she’s on vacation with her girlfriend,” he said.
Jensen took a moment to absorb the sentence. Her girlfriend, not a girlfriend.
“She gets it. She got it the first time she saw you, even before I did. Also, she thinks you’re hot.”
Jensen had started this conversation in control, but somehow Misha was in charge again, and kept throwing him curveballs. Now he was stroking Jensen’s back in a comforting sort of way, as if he knew Jensen was in totally over his head. Jensen knew he should pull away, but he didn’t.
“Jensen, you should call Danneel,” Misha said in that Castiel-like voice that Jensen was so bad at resisting, “and you should tell her that you like me.”
Jensen imagined a million ways that conversation could go terribly wrong. Then he imagined a billion ways he and Misha working in close quarters for other a year with this thing hanging between them could also go wrong. It seemed to be getting stronger every day, and Jensen wasn’t sure he was strong enough to fight it through a year of fight scenes and eye-fucking and standing too close together. Shitty a person as that made him, Jensen knew he could confess to Danneel now, or confess something much worse later.
“I guess I have to.” Jensen pulled away from Misha, put an appropriate distance between them. “I love her, you know. What am I supposed to say?”
“Let her take the lead,” Misha advised. “She’s way less vanilla than you, you know. She might surprise you.”
Danneel did frequently tease Jensen for never taking chances, telling him he was too good sometimes. Maybe she would understand what was going on with Misha better than Jensen himself did. And if not, five kisses was enough, wasn’t it?
“Oh and Jensen,” Misha called after him as he was about to shut the hotel room door. “Tell her I think she’s hot. And so does Vicki. If she’s interested.”
Misha was always full of surprises.