FILL: XFC - Charles/Erik, 1/2rozabellaloveJuly 1 2011, 22:49:45 UTC
Um, I really, really hope this is something like what you wanted. :D
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If it’s this bad for Erik, he can’t image what it must feel like for Charles-a hole cut inside his head, perhaps; the absence of something vital, an indescribable loss.
Before, Erik had always been able to hold onto the words You’re not alone, because he knew that with one mental stretch, Charles would be right there. Charles was always there, sliding into his mind as if it was where he belonged, a warm presence that Erik would sometimes wish he could allow himself to get lost in.
When they were in bed, Erik would put his hand over Charles’s lush mouth and kiss the corner of his eye, would say, “Tell me,” and Charles’s lips would move beneath his hand and Erik would say, “No, like this,” and then Charles would hold his eyes and breathe in and be in his mind, just like that: I love you, please, touch me, I can’t hold back, Erik I want this, I could make you, don’t let me make you, tell me you want this too, kiss me again, kiss me forever, I don’t know what I’m
( ... )
FILL: XFC - Charles/Erik, 2/2rozabellaloveJuly 1 2011, 22:51:28 UTC
When Erik looks in the mirror, his hair has gone gray and there are creases at the corners of his eyes. He looks tired. He looks like-
(there are decisions you make in a half-second, like a kiss or a gunshot or
or the lifting of a helmet from your head and it’s like)
-like he’s waiting for something he’s been looking for for years, and with metal in his hands he feels Charles for the first time in so long, like Charles has been looking too, has never stopped, is always searching for Erik, because he’s right there and Erik hears:
You won’t even hear this but I have to say it anyway, it’s too much to keep inside of me, it has to come out; come home, Erik, come home, come back to me. Why do I do this, I miss you, I need you here, my bed feels too big without your head on my shoulder and your body around mine, we could have made it work, we can still make it work Erik Erik I have to keep doing this because one day you might hear me, and I will keep waiting for that day, Erik. And Erik can see the visions flickering in Charles’s mind, the
( ... )
Re: FILL: XFC - Charles/Erik, 2/2murf1307July 31 2011, 16:22:30 UTC
My god, this is perfect. I just saw X2, and I've seen the first film, but I've not seen any of the others, so I'm running on a limited knowledge of canon, but fuck this is perfect.
I've never really thought about the helmet and how it keeps dear Charles out of Erik's head, but oh my god.
Just the level of desperation in this fic is beyond words; Charles' desperation comes through perfectly, as does Erik's. The way you blur your sentences together and just make them ache is brilliant.
*sobs* Oh, this is heartbreaking and beautiful. I love how you wrote the intimacy and joy and comfort of their mental bonding, Erik's desperate determination when he felt he had to sever it was painful, and the loss and grief and hurt of its absence came across vividly. Very well done indeed.
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If it’s this bad for Erik, he can’t image what it must feel like for Charles-a hole cut inside his head, perhaps; the absence of something vital, an indescribable loss.
Before, Erik had always been able to hold onto the words You’re not alone, because he knew that with one mental stretch, Charles would be right there. Charles was always there, sliding into his mind as if it was where he belonged, a warm presence that Erik would sometimes wish he could allow himself to get lost in.
When they were in bed, Erik would put his hand over Charles’s lush mouth and kiss the corner of his eye, would say, “Tell me,” and Charles’s lips would move beneath his hand and Erik would say, “No, like this,” and then Charles would hold his eyes and breathe in and be in his mind, just like that: I love you, please, touch me, I can’t hold back, Erik I want this, I could make you, don’t let me make you, tell me you want this too, kiss me again, kiss me forever, I don’t know what I’m ( ... )
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(there are decisions you make in a half-second, like a kiss or a gunshot or
or the lifting of a helmet from your head and it’s like)
-like he’s waiting for something he’s been looking for for years, and with metal in his hands he feels Charles for the first time in so long, like Charles has been looking too, has never stopped, is always searching for Erik, because he’s right there and Erik hears:
You won’t even hear this but I have to say it anyway, it’s too much to keep inside of me, it has to come out; come home, Erik, come home, come back to me. Why do I do this, I miss you, I need you here, my bed feels too big without your head on my shoulder and your body around mine, we could have made it work, we can still make it work Erik Erik I have to keep doing this because one day you might hear me, and I will keep waiting for that day, Erik.
And Erik can see the visions flickering in Charles’s mind, the ( ... )
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I've never really thought about the helmet and how it keeps dear Charles out of Erik's head, but oh my god.
Just the level of desperation in this fic is beyond words; Charles' desperation comes through perfectly, as does Erik's. The way you blur your sentences together and just make them ache is brilliant.
Reply
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