Comments | brethlessm: Savarna

brethlessm

Savarna - Chapter 8

Aug 16, 2007 22:31

Title: Savarna - Chapter 8
Author: BrethlessM
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters but I have taken the action figures out of the box to play with them.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Petty disagreements, slight insanity, and one massive cliff-hanger.
Pairings: J/E as promised
Summary: Jack and William must rescue Elizabeth from the Locker, but there ( Read more... )

Comments 4

ladyofthesilent August 17 2007, 07:42:15 UTC

If I hadn't already read Chapter 9 at aff.net, I'd sue you for torturing us with such a massive cliff-hanger ;)

I really, really like what you did with Lizzie in this chapter. A lot of authors have her think about nothing but Jack as soon as he's around, which I find to be quite unrealistic, so I was glad you had her think about her son and husband first - it seems so much more in-character to me!

I also enjoyed the interaction between her and her son; for 10 years, they only had each other, so it would seem natural to me that they are very close, indeed.

I didn't quite like what young William had to say on his biological father -

He’s been better than my own father.

but then, it's probably how he as a young child perceived it. Will hasn't been around for nearly all of his life, so he never got a chance to get to know him.

All in all - great work!

Anne

brethlessm August 18 2007, 07:39:48 UTC

Heh, yeah, it's a big one. It's funny that I didn't even really realize it as such until people started commenting on it! I guess I was really involved in the story ( ... )

awickedwench August 17 2007, 12:18:24 UTC

This is probably my favorite chapter so far...great job! Lizzie's voice was very true to character, I think. Looking forward to more!

brethlessm August 18 2007, 07:44:45 UTC

Thanks! I enjoyed writing this chapter - it's always fun to write Tia Dalma, and any time I can put Jack and Elizabeth together, well, that's why we're here, isn't it? I'm glad I captured her voice... it's a delicate balance with her, but I love trying to perfect it. I hope you enjoy chapter 10! It's the last chapter before I've caught up with everything I've already written, so after this there will only be one new chapter per week! Longer to wait, but hopefully worth it.

Thanks!

Kimberlee