Hear Them Ring
I'm not good at romance.
I'm not good at gifts.
I'm really not good at romantic gifts.
But I gave it a shot.
I lean back against the bunched up pillows, crossing my legs at the ankle as I watch him rip open the gold paper that they wrapped with little silver bells that clatter as they fall to the floor. The box looks portentious. Black leather, trimmed in gold with a snap closure that opens into two velvet lined halves. Inside, an engraved gold rectangle, about the size of a business card. He stares at it and then smiles.
"It's a key chain. You hook your keys on the loop," I explain. As if he's too dumb to figure out the operating instructions for a key chain. The gold card is an exact replica of a "Get Out of Jail Free" card from a Monopoly game. Except it's 14K gold and I had it made. He shakes his head.
"It's heavy;"
"So you won't lose it."
"And the meaning is?"
"You ever had enough, you play your card and you can walk out of the jail with no repurcussions."
He bends in his lips until they disappear, as if restraining a smile and then he puffs them out and says, "Let me get this straight. You gave me a gift that I'm to return to you if I ever decide to bag this relationship and it's no hard feelings?"
"Well, we will be living in a jail after all. It's appropriate."
He turns it over on his hand. "Why would I give it back if I got sick of your ass? It's a lot of gold. I could have it melted down and pay the rent somewhere else."
"Yeah, but then you get the repurcussions."
"Such as?"
"I don't know. Major sulking on my part, recriminations from my friends, guilt, doubt, second guessing."
"And this card would stop all that."
"Free. It says free."
He moves into my arms, resting his chin on my chest as he says, ""You are so fucked up, Brian. A free pass to leave you. Did anyone ever tell you that you're insecure?"
I smile and run my hands through his hair. "Only about certain things."
"I like being one of them. And I like the most expensive key chain in the world. And I just may play it one day if you don't behave."
"I never behave."
"Then it's only a matter of time," he kisses me. I kiss him back. He flips over, stretched out half on me, half on the bed, his silky hair tickling my sternum as he yawns. "You fucked that Lyons guy didn't you?"
"Another lifetime ago, yeah."
"He's not that hot."
"It was a mercy fuck and a job interview. I guess I wasn't hot enough because I didn't get the job."
"Or he wasn't powerful enough to deliver it. He still wants to fuck you."
"I know. But it's not happening so don't get your temper up."
"I know it isn't, Brian. Ew. If you were going to fuck around on me, I'd hope you'd be drawn to someone more attractive. Like Beverley."
We both laugh. "Yeah, what was that? What does she not understand about queer? And do you think her hubby knows ol' Bev is on the loose?"
"I don't know. I'm staying far away from that stuff. Eric and I may be working together. I don't want to complicate it. You are cursed with women coming on to you, Brian. Why is that?"
I shrug. "Tall, I guess."
He laughs at that non-sequitur. "Is Lyons in on the Birken competition? I thought I heard something."
"Yes."
"You can take him."
"Hope so. He has a big show behind him and I'm pretty much it."
"That gives you a big lead. Hey," he turns over to peer up at me. "Wasn't Cat's song beautiful?"
"He sounded pretty good."
"He sounded fabulous and you know it."
I shrug. Whatever. "What were you in such deep conversation with Cat and that Parker guy about?"
"Would you quit calling him 'that Parker guy'? Can't you just say 'Parker'?"
No. He goes on. "We were talking about the song. Did you know Parker's long time partner was a fireman who was killed in 911?"
I stare at him. "I heard."
"So, they played it at his memorial service. Parker told Cat that hearing him sing it brought everything back, it was so plaintive and so full of raw emotion. Cat said he recorded it when he was feeling lost and the song helped bring him back to his spiritual roots. Parker said he found it healing as well."
"Excuse me, but pass me the box of Puffs. Did we then break for commercial in the midst of this soap opera moment?"
"Shut up, Brian. It was a nice exchange."
"That Parker guy is still in love with a ghost."
"I guess he'll always feel something for him, why not? If I died and you moved on, wouldn't you still feel nostalgic about me from time to time?"
"I wouldn't move on, Justin. I'm not going through this again."
He elbows me in the ribs. "You moved on from Phillip."
"I was a kid."
"Brian, you have to let Brog move on."
"I'm not stopping him," I don't want this conversation right now.
"But..." I shut him up by kissing him. By flipping him under me and covering him up with my body. By plunging my tongue deep and grinding my cock against his. I shut him up by licking his nipples and fondling his sac. By sticking a finger up his ass and roaming around in there. By dropping down to suck his dick. I stop him by the tried and true technique of penetration, fucking, humping, stuffing, sodomizing, and eventually coming. Relieved, hot, tired, sweaty, smelly, sticky and happy, I collapse above him. He runs his hands through my hair and down my back, spreading his fingers on my ass.
"Brian," he whispers against me.
"Yeah?'
"About Brog..."
I groan. He's an unstoppable force. I may as well just let him talk. Tsunami Justin demands to be heard.