Part Two
Part One
broadway.com
October 10th, 2017
RYAN EVANS SHINES BRIGHT IN STAGE REMAKE OF SINGIN' IN THE RAIN
Ryan Evans always knew he was going to be on Broadway. He just never realized it would be in such a big way.
The twenty-eight-year-old is from Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's been in two movies and three off-broadway shows since his graduation from the Juilliard School in 2012, including Uno! and the critically-acclaimed Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me. This is his first time ever appearing in a Broadway show.
"I'm supposed to be filling Gene Kelly's shoes," said Evans. "How do you even do that?"
We don't know how you figured it out, Ryan, but having caught a showing of Singin' in the Rain this past week, we'd say you're doing a fabulous job of it!
~*~
October 17th, 2017
Albuquerque, New Mexico
It was purely coincidence that Chad had been watching Oprah that day.
If anything, he was an Ellen DeGeneres kind of dude, but that day his sister was over and she'd wanted to watch Oprah. So there they were, sitting in the tiny living room of his tiny apartment as he wrote up comments on his students' research projects and Saundra made herself a sandwich, chatting away about whatever, when Chad looked up from his computer at the television for just a second--and there was Ryan Evans, talking to Oprah as if he did so every day of his life.
Seventh grade health was suddenly the furthest thing from his mind. He stared at the television, mesmerized by the image of a man he'd once had a massive crush on--had once been in love with--looking adult and well-adjusted and talking to Oprah Winfrey. Who, really, was never going to die, was she? Or retire, even? Not that she was that old yet, but she'd probably still have a show when she was ninety.
Chad could feel Saundra's stare boring into the back of his head. He turned around. She was raising her eyebrows so high they were lost behind her bangs.
"Dude," he said.
"Yeah," she agreed, before they both turned their attention back to the television.
Oprah looked surprisingly good. She was better off than Elizabeth Taylor, at any rate. Ryan also looked amazing, but if Chad was honest with himself, he might have been a little biased. His hair was dyed dark brown rather than its natural blond, and he was older, bigger, and looked as well-dressed as ever, though on the show he went hatless for once. The way he moved showed a definite dancers' grace--a quality certainly admired by the studio audience, which was still applauding. Ryan grinned and waved at the audience bashfully until they quieted down.
"So, Ryan--tell us about your show."
"Well, basically, we're bringing back Singin' in the Rain, but this time on the stage as it's never been done before. I'm doing the part of Don Lockwood, and my talented friends Theodore Cox, Marianne Frank, and Mattie Peasey play Cosmo, Kathy, and Lina Lamont. It's a lot of fun, but you know, we definitely have some very big shoes to fill."
So he was on Broadway. Chad grinned in spite of himself. He was glad to learn Ryan had followed his dream--and made it big.
Oprah leaned forward in her seat, nodding in understanding. "That's right--Gene Kelly is one of the most beloved icons of the twentieth century, as is Singin' in the Rain itself."
Ryan nodded emphatically. "No, yeah, totally. At first that song--Singin' in the Rain?--was difficult for me because I couldn't imagine recreating anything as iconic or as impressive as Gene Kelly's performance. After awhile though, Mattie and Celeste Brinks--she's the fantastic director--they ganged up on me and they were, like, 'Seriously, Ryan. You've gotta suck it up.' And that's what I did. And of course me dancing in the rain is nothing like Mr. Kelly doing it, but I try." Ryan chuckled. "I especially love the 'dancing in the rain' part. It's so much fun. You haven't seen a stage musical until you've seen one where it actually rains onstage."
"This is a show that takes place more than half a century ago. I imagine it's difficult to make it relevant to today's audiences."
Ryan smiled, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. Chad was amazed at how well he still knew this face and yet how different it had become. "Yes, very much so. It's also quite a lot of work to bring it to the stage--yes, it's already a musical, but the original was a musical made for film about film, and it's a very different experience seeing it on the stage, I imagine. The parts where Kathy is doing Lina's voiceovers, for example, are made up of very innovative blocking--that is, the placing of actors on the stage. Fortunately we have Celeste. She is simply amazing. She--the entire cast really makes being in the show just so much fun."
"I saw it last week and everyone should do this same. In fact, nobody in the studio audience today has any excuse not to--because everyone here today will receive two tickets to see Singin' in the Rain, running now at the Imperial Theatre on Broadway!"
There was a long minute or two of excited cheers from the audience before commercials took over. "Wish I was there," said Saundra as an advertisement for laundry detergent came onscreen. "I always wish I happened to be at a taping when she's giving away free stuff."
"Ditto. I'm always up for free stuff." replied Chad, "Though maybe not so much when she gives away things like free bras. I don't know what I'd do with them."
"Give them to me, duh." Saundra laughed. She finished her sandwich and sat next to Chad. "This is weird, isn't it? How long has it been since you've seen him?"
"I don't know. Ten years, give or take? Not since the summer after freshman year. We sort of drifted apart." If 'drifted apart' meant Chad had stayed desperately in love for three years after Ryan decided to end the relationship.
"Crazy, man. I'm glad none of my exes are famous. It would make me feel a little inferior."
Chad rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Saundra. You're awesome, and that makes me feel totally awesome."
"Shush, it's back on."
Oprah's warm, inviting voice came on over a shot of Times Square, with all the advertisements for Broadway shows and a short clip of Ryan dancing with his co-stars, all in yellow raincoats. It looked familiar and Chad wracked his brain--it was a song about morning, if he remembered correctly. He'd only ever seen Singin' in the Rain once, during high school. Actually, it had been with Ryan, just them and Sharpay hanging out at the Evanses' house, before he and Ryan had actually begun dating. It had been one of the few times that he'd actually enjoyed Sharpay's company, and after the movie Zeke came over and all four of them baked the most horrible pie Chad had ever tasted.
The shot of Times Square faded into the image of Ryan cheerfully looking into the camera. Chad felt, as he always did when people looked into the camera on movies and television, that Ryan was looking straight at him.
Ryan turned his head to look at Oprah as she spoke to the viewers at home. "Today we have Ryan Evans, critically-acclaimed Broadway actor, here to talk about his current show, Singin' in the Rain, his part in the upcoming film College Musical, and the charity he founded with help from his sister, The Drama Club." Oprah's attention turned to Ryan. "Tell us about your organization, please, Ryan."
Ryan's entire face lit up, like it had when he had been a high schooler and he had a chance to talk about Hello, Dolly or dancing or Juilliard. "The Drama Club started because my twin sister, who runs a small theatrical school in Albuquerque, was worried about the lack of arts in the public education system. That's why she started the school--our own high school no longer supports a drama program, and my sister's school is one of two options in the entire city if you want to pursue theatre as a high schooler. So basically, the Drama Club is a non-profit organization whose mission statement is, essentially, anyone can do drama. Anyone, regardless of race or class or anything else. So we go out and produce plays made up of very diverse casts. It's very cool and very fun. Last month, in fact, Sharpay--that's my sister--and the rest of the Drama Club in Albuquerque did a production of Anything Goes and it was fabulous; I went down to New Mexico to see it."
There was a short clip from what Chad assumed was the aforementioned production of Anything Goes. There was a girl--no older than fifteen or sixteen--belting stage center, dressed in a sailor's outfit, her arms spread wide, as behind her as boys and girls danced and cartwheeled across the stage behind her. It was colorful and full of energy and it reminded Chad of the time he actually was part of a high school production himself.
"That's really amazing. It's sad to see the arts on such a decline in the United States. Listen, Ryan, did you know--studies show that the estimated amount of ninth to twelfth graders who participate in extracurricular arts is around sixteen percent less than it was ten years ago."
"Yeah, exactly. And Sharpay and I and the rest of the Drama Club want to change that."
Oprah gave some details on how viewers at home could help out with Ryan's charity if they so desired, and Chad made a note to himself to donate as much as he could spare (though, honestly, on a teacher's salary, that wasn't much). After that, Oprah said goodbye to her guest, and grinning and waving charmingly at the camera, Ryan left the stage, though not without a reminder from the host that he would return later to perform a song from Singin' in the Rain.
"That was probably the most surreal experience of my life," announced Chad as soon as Saundra turned the TV off. "I mean, I always thought Ryan was pretty talented, but never in my dreams did I think he would be doing interviews on daytime talk shows. Or that I would see him in one."
"It's definitely weird. Hey, I wonder if Troy and Gabriella saw it. You should give them a call. I gotta go, though--April has a recital tonight." Saundra stood up and grabbed her coat from where it was hanging on the back of a chair.
April was Chad's seven-year-old niece, and he adored her like none other. "I wish I could," he said truthfully, "but it's almost winter break, which means I've got to get these grades in. Tell her to break a leg, though!"
Saundra rolled her eyes. "If I tell her that, she'll start thinking she's actually going to break her leg." She leaned down and gave Chad a kiss on the cheek before she made her way towards the door. "See you later!"
"See you later," he replied, still dazed from having seen his high school boyfriend on the television. It was too strange for words. Shaking his head, he stood to turn on the stereo before sitting back down to read the research reports again. But no matter how intriguing his students' essays on various respiratory diseases were, for the first time in years, Chad couldn't take his mind off Ryan.
~*~
October 17th, 2017
New York City
Ryan groaned and switched the television off, making himself fall over sideways on the couch. He threw his arm over his eyes. "Well, that was completely idiotic," he announced loudly enough so that James, who was putting away clothes in the other room, could hear. He wondered what things would be like were he a TV or movie actor. You would have to relive the mortification of seeing yourself perform all the time. This is why he had gone into theatre: you never had to watch yourself afterward.
"What are you talking about?" James called from the bedroom. A few seconds later, Ryan could hear the click of the door being closed and his boyfriend walked into the living room, a laundry basket at his hip. "It was adorable."
"Great. Adorable. That is exactly how I wanted to come across in front of Oprah Winfrey." He groaned again. "I just sounded so stupid. How many times did I say the word 'fun'?"
"About fifteen," James admitted, chuckling. He put down the laundry basket next to the couch and sat down at the opposite end of the couch, reaching over to touch Ryan's shoulder. "It wasn't that bad. I promise."
"You have to say that." Ryan peeked at him and rolled his eyes. "You're dating me and everything. You're contractually obligated to tell me I don't sound stupid when I totally do."
"When have I ever passed up the chance to tell you you sound stupid?"
"Point." Ryan sat up and hid his face in his hands. "It's just that it was my first interview on network television."
"And look at you! You're so awesome, you completely skipped The Today Show and The View and went straight to Oprah."
Ryan shook his head but couldn't help the little smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Why are you so sweet? It's kind of a problem."
James leaned over and Ryan tilted his head up, expecting a kiss on the mouth. What he got instead was James's mouth on his neck, sucking on the pressure point there. Ryan's eyes fluttered closed and he smiled.
The best thing about having a steady boyfriend, in Ryan's opinion, was the making out. Not that he didn't love full out sex, but he really enjoyed just making out for long periods of time, the way he couldn't with someone he wasn't serious with. And James was the first person he'd been serious with since he'd begun college--before him, it had been a series of hook-ups and failed one-time dates. He'd met James just a little over a year ago at the bookstore where James worked. Ryan had asked for a copy of an Angela Lansbury biography. They learned that they had a commonly shared obsession with Hello, Dolly--and that, in fact, they had many things in common. After the third date, Sharpay had come to visit and observe; James had gotten an A+ from her and so Ryan mentioned something about "going steady"--a remark which received both an eye roll ("This isn't Bye Bye Birdie, Ryan") and enthusiastic agreement.
And they were happy. Well, at least, Ryan was happy. For the most part. He couldn't speak for James. But James seemed happy, and Ryan knew that James would do anything for him. Hell, he had done almost everything for him. In fact, Ryan wondered often what exactly James was getting out of the deal, besides daily sex. Sharpay was thousands of miles away, which meant Ryan had sort of taken over the whole diva thing. He was prickly and difficult, not very thoughtful or even bright, and even though he didn't always mean to, he often took advantage of James's innate generosity. He tried to love James with all he had but he knew that was little compared to how James loved him. James was sweet and compassionate and next to running the little bookshop he'd just opened, his entire life seemed to revolve around making Ryan happy.
Which was exactly Ryan wanted. Or what he thought he wanted, anyway. But as Ryan felt the weight of James on top of him and felt the warm wetness of his mouth traveling down his bare chest, he wondered if maybe there should be something more.
~*~
The next day after school, Chad picked up the phone as soon as he got home. The phone rang so long Chad almost decided to hang up, when at last Troy picked up. "Dude!" came his friend's excited voice. "How's it going?"
"Pretty good, man," replied Chad, a wide grin automatically appearing on his face at Troy's obvious pleasure. "What about you?"
"You have perfect timing, man. Gabi and I just came back from the doctor--guess what! We're having a kid!"
Chad raised his eyebrows in surprise but the grin on his face grew wider. "That's awesome! Congratulations! Hey, put Gabi on the phone, so I can tell her congrats too."
Troy and Gabriella had married three months after graduating college--Chad was still amazed they'd waited that long--and though Chad knew they both wanted children, they had chosen to wait for Gabriella to finish med school and for Troy to get started on his woodworking business. (Of all the things Chad might have expected Troy to do when they "grew up," carpentry was not one of them. Still, it seemed to make Troy happy and it was doing very well.) Now, all of those goals had been reached.
Gabriella's sunshine-filled voice chimed into his ear. "Chad! Will you be the baby's godfather?"
Chad didn't even have to think about that one. "Dude. Yes! Of course! I'm so happy for you guys, Gabs. How far along are you?"
"Around three or four weeks. We haven't figured that one out quite yet." Chad knew that if he was there, she'd be blushing. Some things never change. Chad wanted to tease her about it, but he didn't really know what to say to Gabriella other than "Yay!". He was going to be a godfather! He didn't really want kids of his own, but having a baby to play with and give candy to and then give back to Troy when it peed or something was an exciting prospect. He realized, however, that that opinion might change as he got older...
Suddenly he remembered why he had called Troy and Gabriella in the first place. "Oh, hey, Gabi--did you watch Oprah yesterday?"
"Yes, we Tivoed it! Why, were you watching it too? Did you see Ryan? He emailed me to tell me he was going to be on." Unlike Chad himself, Gabriella managed to keep up with just about everyone they'd known in high school by way of Facebook (Chad refused to resurrect the one that had lasted him through college; too many memories he didn't necessarily want to relive), and furthermore emailed back and forth and spoke on the telephone with a few of them frequently. Ryan was one of those few. Gabriella was always trying to get Chad to come to little reunion parties whenever more than just Chad and Sharpay--whom Chad hadn't even realized was in town until Ryan had said so on Oprah--were in Albuquerque. It wasn't often but it happened. The only people from East High that Chad spoke to anymore were, obviously, Troy and Gabriella, and Taylor on occasion.
Gabriella was still speaking into the telephone. "--Lovely, right? And did you know, he's planning to come down for the reunion next weekend! You're going, right? Troy and I will be there, and Taylor, and I've heard that Zeke and Kelsi are coming too. I'm really excited.... Chad? Are you there?"
So much for not keeping up with high school acquaintances. "Um," he tried even though he knew the answer, "What reunion?"
Chad could almost hear her rolling her eyes, and could definitely hear her exasperated grin. "Duh, the ten year reunion, homecoming weekend. I mean, I know you guys were never into football at East--I guess it just wasn't our thing, was it--but still! I'm so interested in seeing how everyone's turned out, ten years later."
"Well, I wasn't going to go, to be honest." He cleared his throat. "But I guess if you and Troy are coming down...."
Troy's voice boomed in Chad's ear, along with a protest from Gabriella in the background. "No, man, you should totally come! It'll be awesome."
Chad ran his tongue over his front teeth and then sighed. "I guess. You owe me, though."
"We'll play one-on-one in the gym. And I'll let you win."
"Ha ha, let me win. I'm a basketball coach, dude, and a gym teacher. I still got game."
"Not half as much game as me," Troy replied, laughing. "Okay, we gotta go--Gabi wants to go grocery shopping. I'll call you later?"
"See you. Literally."
Even when the click indicating Troy had hung up sounded in Chad's ear, he continued to hold the phone to the side of his face, tapping his cheek with the ear piece. It wasn't that he didn't want to see all of friends from high school; it was more that now he had fallen out of touch with them he felt awkward trying to get back in touch. Plus there was that whole very likely possibility that they were doing awesome things in awesome places while he--well, he had stayed in Albuquerque and taught eighth and seventh graders how to play dodgeball. Not the most illustrious of jobs. He loved it, but come on, it was middle school.
Chad rolled his eyes at himself and put his phone back into its receiver. He wasn't going to freak unnecessarily about this like he was actually in high school again. He refused.
Yet that didn't stop the sudden resurgence of dreams where he was caught naked in the middle of an East High hallway.
~*~
October 24th, 2017
New York City
Ryan had already spoken with Celeste about missing the show the weekend of his high school reunion, and fortunately his understudy was competent enough that nobody was too inconvenienced by his absence. Still, he felt guilty as he hugged Mattie goodbye (sure, it was only a few days but he was going on an airplane, after all), waved to the rest of the cast, and went home to pick up his luggage--a single carry-on with clothes and hats to last him three days. Kelsi would meet him at the airport and then they'd head back to Arizona together.
Ryan had rarely gone back home to Albuquerque since he'd moved to New York City. The upcoming holidays would be the third year in a row that Ryan hadn't returned for Thanksgiving and Christmas since his life at Juilliard had begun, and he often traveled to different cities during fall and spring break. His summers had been spent interning for various theatres, or, one summer, in London at the Globe itself. He missed his parents and Sharpay like crazy, but his mother had visited several times and Sharpay was notorious for frequently spending inordinate amounts of money on random trips to New York. He just didn't want to go back to the stifling environment that had been his life during his high school years. He knew, intellectually, that it would probably be a lot different now than it had been back then, but at the same time he just didn't want to face all of that again. He had had no plans to go back for the reunion at all, in fact, until Sharpay and Kelsi both had begged and goaded him until he agreed.
He wondered what everyone else was up to. Though his relationship with the Wildcats (the nickname still amused him with its cheesiness, even a decade later) had grown into something akin to friendship in his senior year, he had not kept in touch with most of them. If he cared to admit it--and he didn't--a lot of this was due to his failed relationship with Chad. He was terrified that dumping Chad in such an unceremonious and incredibly douchey (if he did say so himself) manner was the best way to rouse Troy Bolton's worst side, and he was sure even Gabriella would have had trouble forgiving him. So, in order to stay out of trouble and in possession of a whole and unmaimed body, he just completely stopped speaking to most people. Well, that wasn't completely true--it must have been her inherently sweet and generous nature that allowed Gabriella to ask after him through email once in a while, but Ryan assumed that these were out of some inexplicable feeling of duty and not because she actually cared. If he were Gabriella, he'd want Ryan dead and if any emails were sent they would be filled to the brim with vitriol and angry emoticons.
Ryan still regretted, sometimes, breaking up with Chad. Chad had been the best boyfriend he'd had to date, and Ryan had loved him ridiculous amounts. Forever was so certain for Chad, and as soon as Ryan felt it too it had scared him off. After that, Chad had fallen off his radar, although Ryan still spared a thought for him every now and then.
Ryan climbed the stairs to his apartment, where, upon opening the door, he found James asleep on the couch. He rolled his eyes. Grinning, he kicked the back of the sofa as he walked by on his way to the bathroom.
"Why'd you wake me up?" came James's whine through the door not a minute later.
"I couldn't resist," replied Ryan with a smirk. When he finished he came out of the bathroom door. James pushed himself off from the wall where he was leaning. Ryan met him halfway and their mouths met in a familiar kiss, the kind that made Ryan think of married people.
Quickly, he pulled away. James was smiling at him, nothing amiss. "How was rehearsal?"
Ryan shrugged. "It was, you know. Rehearsal. Mostly I went over some of the choreography with the understudy."
"For this weekend? Good plan. Hey, wanna have a quick dinner before the plane takes off?"
"I guess," said Ryan, glancing quickly at his watch. He had an hour and a half before he was meant to meet with Kelsi. James took his hand and led him to the kitchen table, on which was already two table settings and a centerpiece of a brightly shining candle. It was one of the sort that old women often collect and it smelled like cinnamon.
Ryan breathed it in--it was one of his favorite smells; his mother had not been old but she had definitely been a woman who collected candles, and had the dozens she had littered around the house lit every so often so the scents would waft under Ryan's bedroom door--and James laughed a little to himself. He apologized, claiming that he hadn't been able to find the kinds of candlesticks you were supposed to have at candlelit dinners, the kind that were long and white and needed to be put into a candelabrum.
"No, they're perfect. What's all this for?"
"Well, I figured this is the last time we'll have to ourselves before we're in Albuquerque and busy with your family and your old friends."
Ryan looked sharply at James. "We? I didn't--"
"No, it's okay! I told Sophie she was in charge of the bookstore for the weekend, it'll be fine. I want to meet the people you went to high school with." James looked at him, clearly excited about the next few days, his face full of eager innocence. Ryan was speechless and very much on his way to fuming.
"James, I don't remember asking you to come with me." Ryan said this as calmly as he could, though he imagined his voice sounded rather icy, like Sharpay's whenever she had had to speak to Gabriella during the war for the lead parts in Twinkle Towne.
"I know, but I assumed that you wouldn't be alone--and, you know, I know you don't like being alone for this sort of thing but you have too much pride to just come out and ask--"
"I'm going with Kelsi."
"I know, but--"
"James. Seriously. I didn't ask you to come. I... I hate to say it, but I really don't want you to." His boyfriend raised his eyebrows then. It was a quick and brief moment, but it had the (probably intended) effect of appearing incredibly hurt. Ryan felt a little bad then. "Look, I'm sorry--it's just that this is a part of my life that's long over. It has nothing to do with you, it's just that--"
"No, I understand. It's the same reason you never tell me when your mom or your sister is around. It's the same reason you never want to do anything with me and Kelsi at the same time. You're--you're ashamed of me or something, aren't you, Ryan?"
"No! What? James, no!" This remark blindsided Ryan. He hadn't even realized he'd ever done those things. James was exaggerating; he did have that tendency. Wasn't he exaggerating?
"Why don't you want me to come with you to Albuquerque, then? What's the real reason? It's not like the reunion is some exclusive party or anything, I know your invitation says family and friends are welcome and everyone's probably going to bring their spouses."
Ryan didn't have much of a reply for him. He didn't have a real reason for not bringing James. He just didn't want to. Instead of telling James this, however, he blurted out angrily, "Yeah, except we're not fucking married, James."
"Yeah. I know. I realize that." James sounded even more hurt than he did before. "Probably because you'd have to introduce me to your parents then, but you know, I understand you don't want to do that for some reason."
"It's not that I don't want to!"
James shook his head and sighed. "Whatever, Ry. I was all excited and... Never mind. I guess--Whatever." He walked over to the couch where his coat was draped over the back and grabbed it. "Bye."
He didn't slam the door when he left. James would never do something like that. But Ryan was left with the feeling that James had really wanted to.
He looked over at the table, where the candle was still lit, food forgotten. Ryan sat down and took a few bites before he laid down his fork, feeling sick.
Well, this weekend was getting off to a great start.
~*~
October 24th, 2017
Albuquerque, New Mexico
(East High School)
Chad flicked his finger at a piece of lint on his pants. He continued flicking even when it was gone until Gabriella reached over soundlessly and grabbed his wrist. Chad gave a long-suffering sigh, sat up straight, and pretended to listen to Troy's recollection of his high school years as he illustrated them to both the portion of the class of 2008 which had decided to show up at this godforsaken event and the class of 2018 which had been forced to attend the assembly. Unfortunately, unlike most of the people gathered in the auditorium, Chad had already heard these stories dozens of times over the years and, frankly, he was exceedingly bored by them. It didn't help that he was nervous about seeing Ryan.
He began fidgeting again. As he shifted and switched positions so that his left leg was crossed over his right instead of vice versa, he caught the sight of a blond head in the corner of his eye. He turned quickly to see who it was--Martha's husband, Tyler, whom he had met earlier in the afternoon. Chad remembered once again that Ryan had dyed his hair brown for his part in Singin' in the Rain. He saw a fedora a few rows in front of him and craned his neck to see who it was--it was only a high school girl.
Chad glanced at Gabriella. She was smiling and nodding and laughing along with Troy's words, as if she hadn't heard these stories dozens of times more than Ryan. It was obvious she was enjoying all of this. Chad couldn't help wonder if part of that was because she, at least, was still married to and in love with her high school sweetheart. Maybe that fact helped sweeten the memory of high school. Or maybe Gabriella was completely insane.
Still, Chad couldn't help wishing that he had something like Troy and Gabriella had always had. Troy still blushed, sometimes, when Gabriella spoke to him, though Chad suspected now that was less because of teenage innocence and more a result of something more adult. He knew that the honeymoon effect had worn off for both of them by now, having played peacemaker at least twice for each of them during a fight; yet, they still went on dates after twelve years together. That was pretty impressive.
Chad wasn't going to go so far that he would say he wished he was that stupidly in love with someone. It was more the stability and the knowledge that there would always be someone there when you were in that mood when you simply needed someone, for cuddling or to yell at or to have awesome sex with. And Chad hated living by himself. It was quiet and there was never anybody to laugh at the jokes he made when he watched television.
If he were being completely honest, Chad would say that he was lonely.
He gave another gusty sigh, the seventh in at least an hour. This was the first that didn't receive an exasperated look from Gabriella, however; she didn't hear it in the chair-scrapping, chat-filled chaos that followed Troy's speech. Chad followed everyone else and stood. Excusing himself, he began making his way towards the front of the room to talk to Taylor when he crashed into a tiny, familiar woman with short hair hidden under a pink cap and colorful bracelets that bounced and jangled against one another when she gestured animatedly with her hands as she spoke. "Sorry," muttered Chad.
"No problem," said the woman, looking up. "Chad!"
Chad widened his eyes and stopped dead in his tracks. "Whoa--dude--hey! How are you?"
"I'm good. What about you?"
"I'm great but--" Kelsi's attention moved past his shoulder, and with no expression belying the bomb she was about to drop, chirped, "Oh, thanks, Ryan."
Chad's head whipped around. Ryan Evans was standing there, looking as if absolutely nothing was odd about this situation, holding two waterbottles which Chad assumed was what Kelsi had thanked him for. His hair was, indeed, brown, but those blue eyes had not changed at all.
"I... um. Hi. Ryan." Chad swallowed. He was shaking. Why was he shaking? Stop shaking. "How are you?"
Ryan shrugged. "I'm surviving. You know. How about you?"
Chad coughed. This was pretty much the worst adrenaline rush he had ever had, and for the worst reason. So he was in the vicinity of his high school boyfriend for the first time in a decade. So what? Time had passed. Things had changed. There was nothing between them anymore. But Ryan had no idea that Chad had pined after him for years after they'd broken up. He, at least, had no reason to feel awkward.
"Kelsi and I actually have to go, but you know what? We're having dinner tonight at the Pizza Express nearby," said Ryan. "Do you want to meet us there? It's not very classy, I know, but for old time's sake?"
Chad nodded. Evidently he had forgotten how to make words with his mouth.
"Seven, then?"
"See you," Chad managed to choke out. Ryan smiled a thin smile at him and then brushed past him to take Kelsi's arm and drag her somewhere else. Kelsi waved a quick see-you-later as she was ushered away.
Reunions were a bad plan, he decided. All they did was make you feel like you were in high school again.
~*~
Ryan pulled Kelsi out to the hallway and into the empty nearby music classroom before letting her go and sinking onto the piano bench, hiding his face in his hands. "That was weird? Right? That was totally weird!"
Kelsi gently lay her hand on Ryan's arm. "It was a little weird."
"Why did I ask him to dinner? And to Pizza Express! That's where we used to go for, like, dates. I asked my high school ex-boyfriend to a place where we used to have dates! And make out!" Ryan groaned.
"You'd better not make out with him while I'm around. I don't really want to see it."
This caused Ryan to choke on air. Actually, it wasn't so much the statement itself that caused him to do so and more the entirely too appealing image that popped into his head. He stared up at Kelsi, shaking his head frantically. "I--I don't want to make out with him at all! I have a boyfriend! I think I do, anyway." He swallowed, feeling incredibly guilty.
After the assembly--which had been totally pointless; Ryan had no idea why he chose to go since the only things even slightly worth attending were the party (with open bar) that would be going on tomorrow night, and maybe the football game just before that, except Ryan couldn't care less about football, much less high school football, much less East High football since basketball was still the reigning sport here--Ryan and Kelsi went back to Ryan's house so Ryan could freak out a little more and Kelsi could take a desperately needed nap. At a quarter past six Ryan took a quick shower and by a quarter till both he and Kelsi were, if not completely ready, then a little more prepared. Well, Kelsi didn't have anything to worry about in the first place. But Ryan--though maybe he shouldn't have--couldn't stop worrying.
They got to Pizza Express in more or less one piece and upon entrance chose a booth that was as far away as humanly possible from what had been "Chad and Ryan's" booth during the summer after senior year. While they were waiting for Chad to arrive and the waitress to come by and take their order, Kelsi gave Ryan an obnoxiously sympathetic look. "It'll be okay," she told him soothingly. "Breathe."
"I'm a horrible person. Chad probably hates me. I have no idea why he agreed to do this. I mean, I dumped him, like, right after he told me he wanted to marry me. Maybe now, all these years later, he's going to take his revenge. he's going to take me behind the dumpster and murder me. Maybe he's going to pull up in a limo and throw eggs at me like I'm Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed."
"Breathe," repeated Kelsi. "I don't get the feeling that Chad is much of a murderer. Or an egg-thrower. Besides, that was, like, years ago."
Ryan tried to take her advice. It didn't work well.
A shadow appeared over the table. "Um. Hi," it said, coughing. Ryan looked up and there was Chad looking as awkward as Mrs. Darbus at a frat party. (Mrs. Darbus?)
Ryan waved at the empty seat next to Kelsi in what he hoped was a smooth gesture. He took another deep breath and smiled charmingly (again: so he hoped). "Hello. Sit down, Chad." He forced his voice into calmness.
Chad looked uncertain as he glanced at the booth. Kelsi flashed an encouraging smile, and because she was adorable and Kelsi, Chad apparently fell under the same spell she tried on everyone else. He sat. "So... what's up with you guys?" He still sounded odd, like there was something stuck in his throat and he had to force the words out. What was probably stuck in his throat was a lump of angry emotion.
Kelsi answered first, since Ryan was suddenly distracted by an image of Chad with a chainsaw in his hands, coming towards him. It was ridiculous (and kind of hysterical) but Ryan thought he would probably deserve it if Chad did come for him with a chainsaw. Or even a dull knife.
He bit his lip in nervousness all the way through Kelsi's somewhat lengthy summary of the last ten years of her life. When the waitress interrupted at one point and when she asked what kind of pizza pie they would like, Ryan automatically replied "pepperoni and olives" at the exact moment Chad said the same (Kelsi made a face but didn't try to change the order). They glanced at one another in surprise with a hint of something else that Ryan wasn't sure he could name. The gaze seemed to last at least a minute before Chad looked down at the table again. He never blushed, but even now Ryan could tell when he was embarrassed.
Kelsi barely waited a beat before she resumed her story, as if nothing had happened. When she ended, she asked Chad to tell his own story.
The waitress came back with their food right in the middle of Chad's explanation for having dropped out of U of A's basketball system in the middle of junior year. Chad grew more and more animated as he spoke, having apparently decided that Ryan was not going to step all over his heart or something as he appeared to have feared earlier. Amazing, he knew, but Ryan was actually interested in what a middle school gym teacher had to say.
Not that Ryan was paying Chad's words all that much attention. Rather, he was busy staring at Chad's aged but still attractive features, at the strangely sexy goatee, at the way his biceps were defined and at the evidence of a set of fantastic abs underneath his t-shirt. Chad still wore stupid t-shirts with catchy slogans on them--he'd probably be wearing those shirts when he was ninety. He still had the best hair that Ryan had ever seen and those full lips that Ryan was drawn to like basketball players to Zeke's cookies (again with the high school-themed similes).
Tuning back in for Chad's enthusiastic speech about how excited he was about Troy and Gabriella's future baby, Ryan marveled at how much had happened to both of them since they had last spoken. There was so much that he'd missed. He remembered how when he and Chad had first started seeing each other, Ryan had thought that from that point on he'd never miss a single part of Chad's life. There had been that moment when he thought they would always be together.
He had been so wrong. It was a strange feeling. Not the being wrong part--he was often wrong about things, especially when they had to do with relationships--but the sudden feeling that maybe, just maybe, he'd missed out on a very great opportunity.
As he lifted a slice of pizza to his mouth, Ryan's heart was racing. On the surface, it was just pizza toppings and a once-frequented date spot. But despite Chad's possible (probable) desire to murder him, underneath everything else was the stirring suspicion that maybe a lot more than Pizza Express hadn't changed since he was eighteen.
~*~
It was vastly unlikely that Chad should be laughing near to the point of tears at something said by someone who had once, for all intents and purposes, broken his heart and then fed it to a pack of hungry wolves--and yet that's exactly what he was doing.
By the time the pizza had been fully devoured (mostly by Chad himself), he felt as if it were again July 2008, helped along by the fact that the restaurant was exactly the same as it had been ten years ago and that the classic pop station was quietly playing Britney Spears and Black Eyed Peas in the background.
Ryan had definitely changed in more ways than his hair color, but there were some qualities that never would--the sparkly hat sitting by his hip on the booth, the mischievous but good-natured smile that graced his face whenever he teased, the utter joy that lit up his entire face whenever he was talking about something he loved (Singin' in the Rain was a particular theme that night), the borderline ludicrous campiness. And Chad couldn't help but notice that if Ryan's hair was different, his cheekbones weren't. Neither were his lean arms and the lips that Chad found himself wanting to kiss like he had thousands of times before, in a different era.
Wait.
That had to be the cheap pizza talking. And yet as Ryan spoke, Chad found he was growing more and more attracted to the idea. Chad came up with a million justifications for the possibility. After all, their past relationship and its sudden end were far behind them. They were more mature now. It would only be for one night. It wouldn't mean anything; they would probably go back to never speaking once Ryan returned to New York; Chad hadn't had sex in about six months, and he was kind of gagging for it.
The last one was the most pressing.
After they all chipped in to pay the check, Kelsi stood up and smiled at both of them. It was a sweet and encouraging smile with a hint of that old Kelsi trademark mix of knowing and mystery. "Well, I have to go, guys. I'm going to walk down to the boutique over on Franklin to meet Gabi--we're shopping for the party tomorrow night. I'll get a ride back to your house from there, 'kay, Ryan?" She took her purse and with a final wave, disappeared out the door.
Ryan shook his head in exasperation, ostensibly at Kelsi. Then the corners of his lips turned up in a smile as he turned to Chad.
"Do you remember how we used to try to get into the Desert Rose when we were kids?" The Desert Rose was a bar not far from Pizza Express. Chad had spent many an hour plotting with Ryan and sometimes with the other Wildcats about ways to get in, and they had even once had a fake ID, but the bouncer had never bought it.
"Yeah?"
"We're of age now."
Chad grinned. "What are we waiting for? Let's go."
~*~
The Desert Rose was unexciting, as far as bars go. That didn't stop Chad and Ryan from somehow managing to have a good time.
"Dude," said Chad as he watched Ryan take a shot. Ryan tried not to cough as it slid down his throat. "Weren't you, like, driving?"
Ryan grinned, tears in his eyes from the struggle against the sting in his esophagus. "I can take a camel back."
"Where are you even going to get a camel?"
"I'm sure I could find one." Ryan shrugged. "We live in the desert after all." He kept a straight face for about two seconds before he burst out into laughter. Chad joined him, and Ryan wasn't quite sure why it was the funniest thing ever, but it was. They leaned against each other, their arms wrapped around one another, and they laughed until they couldn't breathe anymore. Ryan wasn't really that drunk but the alcohol in addition to realizing that Chad was just as fabulous to hang out with as he'd always been was making him feel incredibly giddy.
"Maybe we should get a cab," said Ryan at a lull in the laughter. Chad nodded and made the call, and when he hung up he lifted his head and said, "I gotta pee."
"I'll go with you." Ryan wiggled his eyebrows at him.
Chad narrowed his eyes at him but couldn't keep a straight face. "Are we some of my middle school girls?"
"I gotta pee too, moron." This was a lie. Ryan didn't really have to pee, but he didn't want to be left out here all by himself. Maybe he was a middle school girl. He dazedly followed Chad--only looking at Chad's ass a little bit, even though it was very much so an amazing ass, even now.
He had an idea. Stepping quickly in front of Chad (causing him to trip) as they reached the entrance to the bathroom, Ryan threw open the door and peeked his head in. There were only two stalls and three urinals, and not a single one of them was occupied. Ryan looked back at Chad and with a grin on his face that he couldn't help, Ryan grabbed Chad's wrist and pulled him inside, all but throwing him against the door as it slammed shut. He put one hand on either of Chad's shoulders and pinned him there.
There was fleeting terror in his eyes but that disappeared as soon as Ryan nudged his hips against Chad's and it became clear just what Ryan intended to do. That was when Chad leaned forward and crushed his lips against Ryan's before Ryan even had a chance. Their mouths sloppily met again and again, and there was absolutely no finesse, no sweetness, nothing similar to what James offered when Ryan kissed him. This was messy and dirty and a little tipsy, and it made Ryan curl his fingers into the fabric of Chad's stupid t-shirt as Chad's tongue pushed its way into Ryan's mouth. Ryan met it stroke for stroke. He nibbled on Chad's bottom lip, and then leaned down to mouth along Chad's jaw. Chad made a tiny sound and Ryan wanted to grin but his mouth was otherwise occupied. Ryan had never known he missed Chad's lips and the way Chad liked to suck on Ryan's tongue, or the way he moaned when Ryan sucked on the skin just under his ear.
The bartender knocked on the door, startling both of them. "Your cab's here."
"My apartment," gasped Chad. "Bed?"
"Yes, yes, yes," was Ryan's reply, and they both forgot their original reason for going to the bathroom. If peeing had, indeed, been their actual reason.
~*~
It was sometimes fortunate that Chad did live alone, it occurred to him, because otherwise they would have woken up somebody for sure.
The cab ride had been mostly uneventful. As uneventful as frantic backseat make-outs ever were. The cabbie had looked somewhat unexcited by the prospect of two men going at it in his car, but he didn't say a word and when Ryan paid the fare, he even gave them a little wave and told them to be safe. Which of course sent them into peals of laughter until Chad couldn't stand it and he had to kiss Ryan again and he was pressing Ryan against his front door. "I can't find my keys," he mumbled, searching his pockets even as he was licking the underside of Ryan's chin.
Ryan chuckled. "I mean, you're pretty distract--" He was cut off by Chad's kiss. Recovering slightly a few moments later, Chad reached into his front coat pocket and pulled out his keys. It took him another several seconds to figure out how to put it in the keyhole, and then finally they were nearly falling over themselves to get in. Chad walked Ryan backwards toward the couch, on which they fell together in a tangle of limbs. Chad, fighting for the leverage that would allow him to straddle Ryan's hips, knocked his elbow against the coffee table which made him laugh even more although it hurt, but he found that he didn't care when Ryan wrapped his fingers around the curls at the nape of his neck and pulled his head down to kiss him again.
It suddenly grew less frantic, and there were fewer giggles than there were moans and panting. Chad ran his hands over Ryan's sides underneath his button-up shirt, making Ryan shiver. Chad decided that Ryan shivering was his favorite thing ever and vowed to make it happen as often as he could tonight. Clumsily he began pulling at the buttons, trying to pull it off, and only after Ryan began to help did he succeed. He threw the shirt over the arm of the couch, and it soared over towards the entertainment center where it hit a picture frame and knocked it down. There was the tell-tale crash of glass shattering but Chad said, "Fuck it," and pulled off his own t-shirt.
Ryan's laugh was dark and sexy. Chad bucked his hips against Ryan's and Ryan let out a throaty moan. "Should we--bed?" gasped Chad.
"No," Ryan replied. "Let's--right here--"
And the thought of that alone meant it was Chad's turn to shiver.
He reached down to undo the fly of Ryan's jeans, finding that was easier than the tiny buttons that lined Ryan's shirt. "Take them off, take them off," he moaned. It probably sounded like he was whining. He didn't much care.
"Lift up," said Ryan, and Chad changed positions so that he was no longer fully straddling Ryan, his hands clutching the arm of the couch, one knee lodged between Ryan's torso and the back of the couch, and his other leg holding him up on the other side. Ryan lifted his hips and reached his hands under Chad--brushing against Chad's dick the tiniest bit and Chad didn't want to buck his hips again but he couldn't help it--so that he could pull his jeans and boxer briefs down in the same motion. Then he reached up to do the same for Chad.
It was cold in the living room but as Chad settled back so that he was sitting on top of Ryan's thighs and Ryan sat up and leaned forward to suck at Chad's nipple, which had reacted to the cold air, he found he didn't much care about that either. It wasn't just that this was the first time he'd had sex with someone other than himself in so long. Well, it was partly that. But it was something more. It was the person he was with. It was the knowledge that even though Chad had done a lot with Ryan back when they had been teenagers, it would be about ten times better now that they both knew what they were doing. It was the desperation and the frantic feeling about it, like they had both craving this for years. Maybe they had and just never realized it.
With that thought, Chad looked down at Ryan and found that Ryan was gazing up at him. Slowly, without breaking eye contact, Chad reached behind Ryan's ears and pushed his fingers into the hair there. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Ryan's forehead, his eyes fluttering closed. He tilted his head down and let his lips brush against Ryan's nose and cheek before they met Ryan's own. They kissed softly, in a quiet, uncertain kind of way, and it was such a change from their kisses just mere minutes ago that Chad felt dizzy.
He felt Ryan wrap a fist around Chad's dick and begin to pump his hand up and down with agonizing slowness. Chad whined quietly and Ryan must have gotten the idea because he began to go a little faster. Chad drew his fingers down Ryan's arm until Chad's hand joined Ryan's and he showed Ryan just how fast he wanted it. They didn't say a single word to one another, but Chad did lean his forehead against Ryan's as he got closer and closer until all he wanted to do was come, and he hoped he would come hard, and he hoped Ryan would see what he had been missing for ten years.
Ryan was pressing his lips against every part of Chad's skin that he could reach--his collarbone, the juncture between his neck and shoulder, underneath his chin, the vee just above his armpit. When he stuck his tongue in Chad's ear and sucked on his earlobe, mumbling all manner of incomprehensible but clearly dirty things, Chad was gone, spurting white all over their stomachs and thighs.
When he was done, Ryan licked his lips and ran a fingertip through Chad's come, then lifted it to his mouth and wrapped his tongue around it.
Chad let out a strangled groan and climbed down from atop Ryan's legs to kneel down at dick level. He stared at Ryan's erection and licked his lips. It twitched and Chad, grinning, leaned forward to wrap his lips around the head. He reached forward and wrapped his fist around the base much like Ryan had done for Chad. He licked up and down the shaft and paid special attention to a vein running up the side. It was oddly familiar though it had been a very long time.
A few minutes into it, Chad pulled his head back and sucked at the head of Ryan's dick. Hard. "Chad," moaned Ryan, bucking his hips so that Chad almost choked. Chad held them down with his free hand before he continued sucking and when Chad grasped a little tighter and licked the vein again, it was Ryan's turn to come, letting out a long, low moan. It was difficult but Chad managed to swallow it all down before he climbed back up onto the couch to give Ryan a filthy, messy kiss. It was almost dirty enough and long enough to ignite desire in Chad once again but Ryan pulled away first and said with a smirk, "Maybe we should clean up."
Chad shrugged and stood up to get a couple of towels from the closet. Ryan was standing when he came back. "I should go..." he said as he took the proffered fuzzy blue towel and began to wipe himself down.
Chad did the same. "No," he said, perhaps too quickly. "I mean, dude--you're still drunk. Aren't you? I arm. I mean, I am. Stay here?"
Ryan appeared to consider this for all of seven seconds. Then he threw a hand up in the air. "Why the hell not?" He lifted his other hand to take Chad's. "Where's your bed, Wildcat?"
"Don't fucking call me Wildcat," replied Chad as he threw the towel in the general direction of the hallway and led Ryan towards his bedroom.
~*~
In the morning, when Chad woke up to find that Ryan was still beside him, smiling sleepily as he slowly awakened, Chad realized that maybe he wasn't in love with Ryan anymore but if given time he could remember how to be.
"Coffee?"
Ryan stretched and yawned. "Coffee would be awesome."
Part Three
broadway.com
October 10th, 2017
RYAN EVANS SHINES BRIGHT IN STAGE REMAKE OF SINGIN' IN THE RAIN
Ryan Evans always knew he was going to be on Broadway. He just never realized it would be in such a big way.
The twenty-eight-year-old is from Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's been in two movies and three off-broadway shows since his graduation from the Juilliard School in 2012, including Uno! and the critically-acclaimed Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me. This is his first time ever appearing in a Broadway show.
"I'm supposed to be filling Gene Kelly's shoes," said Evans. "How do you even do that?"
We don't know how you figured it out, Ryan, but having caught a showing of Singin' in the Rain this past week, we'd say you're doing a fabulous job of it!
~*~
October 17th, 2017
Albuquerque, New Mexico
It was purely coincidence that Chad had been watching Oprah that day.
If anything, he was an Ellen DeGeneres kind of dude, but that day his sister was over and she'd wanted to watch Oprah. So there they were, sitting in the tiny living room of his tiny apartment as he wrote up comments on his students' research projects and Saundra made herself a sandwich, chatting away about whatever, when Chad looked up from his computer at the television for just a second--and there was Ryan Evans, talking to Oprah as if he did so every day of his life.
Seventh grade health was suddenly the furthest thing from his mind. He stared at the television, mesmerized by the image of a man he'd once had a massive crush on--had once been in love with--looking adult and well-adjusted and talking to Oprah Winfrey. Who, really, was never going to die, was she? Or retire, even? Not that she was that old yet, but she'd probably still have a show when she was ninety.
Chad could feel Saundra's stare boring into the back of his head. He turned around. She was raising her eyebrows so high they were lost behind her bangs.
"Dude," he said.
"Yeah," she agreed, before they both turned their attention back to the television.
Oprah looked surprisingly good. She was better off than Elizabeth Taylor, at any rate. Ryan also looked amazing, but if Chad was honest with himself, he might have been a little biased. His hair was dyed dark brown rather than its natural blond, and he was older, bigger, and looked as well-dressed as ever, though on the show he went hatless for once. The way he moved showed a definite dancers' grace--a quality certainly admired by the studio audience, which was still applauding. Ryan grinned and waved at the audience bashfully until they quieted down.
"So, Ryan--tell us about your show."
"Well, basically, we're bringing back Singin' in the Rain, but this time on the stage as it's never been done before. I'm doing the part of Don Lockwood, and my talented friends Theodore Cox, Marianne Frank, and Mattie Peasey play Cosmo, Kathy, and Lina Lamont. It's a lot of fun, but you know, we definitely have some very big shoes to fill."
So he was on Broadway. Chad grinned in spite of himself. He was glad to learn Ryan had followed his dream--and made it big.
Oprah leaned forward in her seat, nodding in understanding. "That's right--Gene Kelly is one of the most beloved icons of the twentieth century, as is Singin' in the Rain itself."
Ryan nodded emphatically. "No, yeah, totally. At first that song--Singin' in the Rain?--was difficult for me because I couldn't imagine recreating anything as iconic or as impressive as Gene Kelly's performance. After awhile though, Mattie and Celeste Brinks--she's the fantastic director--they ganged up on me and they were, like, 'Seriously, Ryan. You've gotta suck it up.' And that's what I did. And of course me dancing in the rain is nothing like Mr. Kelly doing it, but I try." Ryan chuckled. "I especially love the 'dancing in the rain' part. It's so much fun. You haven't seen a stage musical until you've seen one where it actually rains onstage."
"This is a show that takes place more than half a century ago. I imagine it's difficult to make it relevant to today's audiences."
Ryan smiled, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. Chad was amazed at how well he still knew this face and yet how different it had become. "Yes, very much so. It's also quite a lot of work to bring it to the stage--yes, it's already a musical, but the original was a musical made for film about film, and it's a very different experience seeing it on the stage, I imagine. The parts where Kathy is doing Lina's voiceovers, for example, are made up of very innovative blocking--that is, the placing of actors on the stage. Fortunately we have Celeste. She is simply amazing. She--the entire cast really makes being in the show just so much fun."
"I saw it last week and everyone should do this same. In fact, nobody in the studio audience today has any excuse not to--because everyone here today will receive two tickets to see Singin' in the Rain, running now at the Imperial Theatre on Broadway!"
There was a long minute or two of excited cheers from the audience before commercials took over. "Wish I was there," said Saundra as an advertisement for laundry detergent came onscreen. "I always wish I happened to be at a taping when she's giving away free stuff."
"Ditto. I'm always up for free stuff." replied Chad, "Though maybe not so much when she gives away things like free bras. I don't know what I'd do with them."
"Give them to me, duh." Saundra laughed. She finished her sandwich and sat next to Chad. "This is weird, isn't it? How long has it been since you've seen him?"
"I don't know. Ten years, give or take? Not since the summer after freshman year. We sort of drifted apart." If 'drifted apart' meant Chad had stayed desperately in love for three years after Ryan decided to end the relationship.
"Crazy, man. I'm glad none of my exes are famous. It would make me feel a little inferior."
Chad rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Saundra. You're awesome, and that makes me feel totally awesome."
"Shush, it's back on."
Oprah's warm, inviting voice came on over a shot of Times Square, with all the advertisements for Broadway shows and a short clip of Ryan dancing with his co-stars, all in yellow raincoats. It looked familiar and Chad wracked his brain--it was a song about morning, if he remembered correctly. He'd only ever seen Singin' in the Rain once, during high school. Actually, it had been with Ryan, just them and Sharpay hanging out at the Evanses' house, before he and Ryan had actually begun dating. It had been one of the few times that he'd actually enjoyed Sharpay's company, and after the movie Zeke came over and all four of them baked the most horrible pie Chad had ever tasted.
The shot of Times Square faded into the image of Ryan cheerfully looking into the camera. Chad felt, as he always did when people looked into the camera on movies and television, that Ryan was looking straight at him.
Ryan turned his head to look at Oprah as she spoke to the viewers at home. "Today we have Ryan Evans, critically-acclaimed Broadway actor, here to talk about his current show, Singin' in the Rain, his part in the upcoming film College Musical, and the charity he founded with help from his sister, The Drama Club." Oprah's attention turned to Ryan. "Tell us about your organization, please, Ryan."
Ryan's entire face lit up, like it had when he had been a high schooler and he had a chance to talk about Hello, Dolly or dancing or Juilliard. "The Drama Club started because my twin sister, who runs a small theatrical school in Albuquerque, was worried about the lack of arts in the public education system. That's why she started the school--our own high school no longer supports a drama program, and my sister's school is one of two options in the entire city if you want to pursue theatre as a high schooler. So basically, the Drama Club is a non-profit organization whose mission statement is, essentially, anyone can do drama. Anyone, regardless of race or class or anything else. So we go out and produce plays made up of very diverse casts. It's very cool and very fun. Last month, in fact, Sharpay--that's my sister--and the rest of the Drama Club in Albuquerque did a production of Anything Goes and it was fabulous; I went down to New Mexico to see it."
There was a short clip from what Chad assumed was the aforementioned production of Anything Goes. There was a girl--no older than fifteen or sixteen--belting stage center, dressed in a sailor's outfit, her arms spread wide, as behind her as boys and girls danced and cartwheeled across the stage behind her. It was colorful and full of energy and it reminded Chad of the time he actually was part of a high school production himself.
"That's really amazing. It's sad to see the arts on such a decline in the United States. Listen, Ryan, did you know--studies show that the estimated amount of ninth to twelfth graders who participate in extracurricular arts is around sixteen percent less than it was ten years ago."
"Yeah, exactly. And Sharpay and I and the rest of the Drama Club want to change that."
Oprah gave some details on how viewers at home could help out with Ryan's charity if they so desired, and Chad made a note to himself to donate as much as he could spare (though, honestly, on a teacher's salary, that wasn't much). After that, Oprah said goodbye to her guest, and grinning and waving charmingly at the camera, Ryan left the stage, though not without a reminder from the host that he would return later to perform a song from Singin' in the Rain.
"That was probably the most surreal experience of my life," announced Chad as soon as Saundra turned the TV off. "I mean, I always thought Ryan was pretty talented, but never in my dreams did I think he would be doing interviews on daytime talk shows. Or that I would see him in one."
"It's definitely weird. Hey, I wonder if Troy and Gabriella saw it. You should give them a call. I gotta go, though--April has a recital tonight." Saundra stood up and grabbed her coat from where it was hanging on the back of a chair.
April was Chad's seven-year-old niece, and he adored her like none other. "I wish I could," he said truthfully, "but it's almost winter break, which means I've got to get these grades in. Tell her to break a leg, though!"
Saundra rolled her eyes. "If I tell her that, she'll start thinking she's actually going to break her leg." She leaned down and gave Chad a kiss on the cheek before she made her way towards the door. "See you later!"
"See you later," he replied, still dazed from having seen his high school boyfriend on the television. It was too strange for words. Shaking his head, he stood to turn on the stereo before sitting back down to read the research reports again. But no matter how intriguing his students' essays on various respiratory diseases were, for the first time in years, Chad couldn't take his mind off Ryan.
~*~
October 17th, 2017
New York City
Ryan groaned and switched the television off, making himself fall over sideways on the couch. He threw his arm over his eyes. "Well, that was completely idiotic," he announced loudly enough so that James, who was putting away clothes in the other room, could hear. He wondered what things would be like were he a TV or movie actor. You would have to relive the mortification of seeing yourself perform all the time. This is why he had gone into theatre: you never had to watch yourself afterward.
"What are you talking about?" James called from the bedroom. A few seconds later, Ryan could hear the click of the door being closed and his boyfriend walked into the living room, a laundry basket at his hip. "It was adorable."
"Great. Adorable. That is exactly how I wanted to come across in front of Oprah Winfrey." He groaned again. "I just sounded so stupid. How many times did I say the word 'fun'?"
"About fifteen," James admitted, chuckling. He put down the laundry basket next to the couch and sat down at the opposite end of the couch, reaching over to touch Ryan's shoulder. "It wasn't that bad. I promise."
"You have to say that." Ryan peeked at him and rolled his eyes. "You're dating me and everything. You're contractually obligated to tell me I don't sound stupid when I totally do."
"When have I ever passed up the chance to tell you you sound stupid?"
"Point." Ryan sat up and hid his face in his hands. "It's just that it was my first interview on network television."
"And look at you! You're so awesome, you completely skipped The Today Show and The View and went straight to Oprah."
Ryan shook his head but couldn't help the little smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Why are you so sweet? It's kind of a problem."
James leaned over and Ryan tilted his head up, expecting a kiss on the mouth. What he got instead was James's mouth on his neck, sucking on the pressure point there. Ryan's eyes fluttered closed and he smiled.
The best thing about having a steady boyfriend, in Ryan's opinion, was the making out. Not that he didn't love full out sex, but he really enjoyed just making out for long periods of time, the way he couldn't with someone he wasn't serious with. And James was the first person he'd been serious with since he'd begun college--before him, it had been a series of hook-ups and failed one-time dates. He'd met James just a little over a year ago at the bookstore where James worked. Ryan had asked for a copy of an Angela Lansbury biography. They learned that they had a commonly shared obsession with Hello, Dolly--and that, in fact, they had many things in common. After the third date, Sharpay had come to visit and observe; James had gotten an A+ from her and so Ryan mentioned something about "going steady"--a remark which received both an eye roll ("This isn't Bye Bye Birdie, Ryan") and enthusiastic agreement.
And they were happy. Well, at least, Ryan was happy. For the most part. He couldn't speak for James. But James seemed happy, and Ryan knew that James would do anything for him. Hell, he had done almost everything for him. In fact, Ryan wondered often what exactly James was getting out of the deal, besides daily sex. Sharpay was thousands of miles away, which meant Ryan had sort of taken over the whole diva thing. He was prickly and difficult, not very thoughtful or even bright, and even though he didn't always mean to, he often took advantage of James's innate generosity. He tried to love James with all he had but he knew that was little compared to how James loved him. James was sweet and compassionate and next to running the little bookshop he'd just opened, his entire life seemed to revolve around making Ryan happy.
Which was exactly Ryan wanted. Or what he thought he wanted, anyway. But as Ryan felt the weight of James on top of him and felt the warm wetness of his mouth traveling down his bare chest, he wondered if maybe there should be something more.
~*~
The next day after school, Chad picked up the phone as soon as he got home. The phone rang so long Chad almost decided to hang up, when at last Troy picked up. "Dude!" came his friend's excited voice. "How's it going?"
"Pretty good, man," replied Chad, a wide grin automatically appearing on his face at Troy's obvious pleasure. "What about you?"
"You have perfect timing, man. Gabi and I just came back from the doctor--guess what! We're having a kid!"
Chad raised his eyebrows in surprise but the grin on his face grew wider. "That's awesome! Congratulations! Hey, put Gabi on the phone, so I can tell her congrats too."
Troy and Gabriella had married three months after graduating college--Chad was still amazed they'd waited that long--and though Chad knew they both wanted children, they had chosen to wait for Gabriella to finish med school and for Troy to get started on his woodworking business. (Of all the things Chad might have expected Troy to do when they "grew up," carpentry was not one of them. Still, it seemed to make Troy happy and it was doing very well.) Now, all of those goals had been reached.
Gabriella's sunshine-filled voice chimed into his ear. "Chad! Will you be the baby's godfather?"
Chad didn't even have to think about that one. "Dude. Yes! Of course! I'm so happy for you guys, Gabs. How far along are you?"
"Around three or four weeks. We haven't figured that one out quite yet." Chad knew that if he was there, she'd be blushing. Some things never change. Chad wanted to tease her about it, but he didn't really know what to say to Gabriella other than "Yay!". He was going to be a godfather! He didn't really want kids of his own, but having a baby to play with and give candy to and then give back to Troy when it peed or something was an exciting prospect. He realized, however, that that opinion might change as he got older...
Suddenly he remembered why he had called Troy and Gabriella in the first place. "Oh, hey, Gabi--did you watch Oprah yesterday?"
"Yes, we Tivoed it! Why, were you watching it too? Did you see Ryan? He emailed me to tell me he was going to be on." Unlike Chad himself, Gabriella managed to keep up with just about everyone they'd known in high school by way of Facebook (Chad refused to resurrect the one that had lasted him through college; too many memories he didn't necessarily want to relive), and furthermore emailed back and forth and spoke on the telephone with a few of them frequently. Ryan was one of those few. Gabriella was always trying to get Chad to come to little reunion parties whenever more than just Chad and Sharpay--whom Chad hadn't even realized was in town until Ryan had said so on Oprah--were in Albuquerque. It wasn't often but it happened. The only people from East High that Chad spoke to anymore were, obviously, Troy and Gabriella, and Taylor on occasion.
Gabriella was still speaking into the telephone. "--Lovely, right? And did you know, he's planning to come down for the reunion next weekend! You're going, right? Troy and I will be there, and Taylor, and I've heard that Zeke and Kelsi are coming too. I'm really excited.... Chad? Are you there?"
So much for not keeping up with high school acquaintances. "Um," he tried even though he knew the answer, "What reunion?"
Chad could almost hear her rolling her eyes, and could definitely hear her exasperated grin. "Duh, the ten year reunion, homecoming weekend. I mean, I know you guys were never into football at East--I guess it just wasn't our thing, was it--but still! I'm so interested in seeing how everyone's turned out, ten years later."
"Well, I wasn't going to go, to be honest." He cleared his throat. "But I guess if you and Troy are coming down...."
Troy's voice boomed in Chad's ear, along with a protest from Gabriella in the background. "No, man, you should totally come! It'll be awesome."
Chad ran his tongue over his front teeth and then sighed. "I guess. You owe me, though."
"We'll play one-on-one in the gym. And I'll let you win."
"Ha ha, let me win. I'm a basketball coach, dude, and a gym teacher. I still got game."
"Not half as much game as me," Troy replied, laughing. "Okay, we gotta go--Gabi wants to go grocery shopping. I'll call you later?"
"See you. Literally."
Even when the click indicating Troy had hung up sounded in Chad's ear, he continued to hold the phone to the side of his face, tapping his cheek with the ear piece. It wasn't that he didn't want to see all of friends from high school; it was more that now he had fallen out of touch with them he felt awkward trying to get back in touch. Plus there was that whole very likely possibility that they were doing awesome things in awesome places while he--well, he had stayed in Albuquerque and taught eighth and seventh graders how to play dodgeball. Not the most illustrious of jobs. He loved it, but come on, it was middle school.
Chad rolled his eyes at himself and put his phone back into its receiver. He wasn't going to freak unnecessarily about this like he was actually in high school again. He refused.
Yet that didn't stop the sudden resurgence of dreams where he was caught naked in the middle of an East High hallway.
~*~
October 24th, 2017
New York City
Ryan had already spoken with Celeste about missing the show the weekend of his high school reunion, and fortunately his understudy was competent enough that nobody was too inconvenienced by his absence. Still, he felt guilty as he hugged Mattie goodbye (sure, it was only a few days but he was going on an airplane, after all), waved to the rest of the cast, and went home to pick up his luggage--a single carry-on with clothes and hats to last him three days. Kelsi would meet him at the airport and then they'd head back to Arizona together.
Ryan had rarely gone back home to Albuquerque since he'd moved to New York City. The upcoming holidays would be the third year in a row that Ryan hadn't returned for Thanksgiving and Christmas since his life at Juilliard had begun, and he often traveled to different cities during fall and spring break. His summers had been spent interning for various theatres, or, one summer, in London at the Globe itself. He missed his parents and Sharpay like crazy, but his mother had visited several times and Sharpay was notorious for frequently spending inordinate amounts of money on random trips to New York. He just didn't want to go back to the stifling environment that had been his life during his high school years. He knew, intellectually, that it would probably be a lot different now than it had been back then, but at the same time he just didn't want to face all of that again. He had had no plans to go back for the reunion at all, in fact, until Sharpay and Kelsi both had begged and goaded him until he agreed.
He wondered what everyone else was up to. Though his relationship with the Wildcats (the nickname still amused him with its cheesiness, even a decade later) had grown into something akin to friendship in his senior year, he had not kept in touch with most of them. If he cared to admit it--and he didn't--a lot of this was due to his failed relationship with Chad. He was terrified that dumping Chad in such an unceremonious and incredibly douchey (if he did say so himself) manner was the best way to rouse Troy Bolton's worst side, and he was sure even Gabriella would have had trouble forgiving him. So, in order to stay out of trouble and in possession of a whole and unmaimed body, he just completely stopped speaking to most people. Well, that wasn't completely true--it must have been her inherently sweet and generous nature that allowed Gabriella to ask after him through email once in a while, but Ryan assumed that these were out of some inexplicable feeling of duty and not because she actually cared. If he were Gabriella, he'd want Ryan dead and if any emails were sent they would be filled to the brim with vitriol and angry emoticons.
Ryan still regretted, sometimes, breaking up with Chad. Chad had been the best boyfriend he'd had to date, and Ryan had loved him ridiculous amounts. Forever was so certain for Chad, and as soon as Ryan felt it too it had scared him off. After that, Chad had fallen off his radar, although Ryan still spared a thought for him every now and then.
Ryan climbed the stairs to his apartment, where, upon opening the door, he found James asleep on the couch. He rolled his eyes. Grinning, he kicked the back of the sofa as he walked by on his way to the bathroom.
"Why'd you wake me up?" came James's whine through the door not a minute later.
"I couldn't resist," replied Ryan with a smirk. When he finished he came out of the bathroom door. James pushed himself off from the wall where he was leaning. Ryan met him halfway and their mouths met in a familiar kiss, the kind that made Ryan think of married people.
Quickly, he pulled away. James was smiling at him, nothing amiss. "How was rehearsal?"
Ryan shrugged. "It was, you know. Rehearsal. Mostly I went over some of the choreography with the understudy."
"For this weekend? Good plan. Hey, wanna have a quick dinner before the plane takes off?"
"I guess," said Ryan, glancing quickly at his watch. He had an hour and a half before he was meant to meet with Kelsi. James took his hand and led him to the kitchen table, on which was already two table settings and a centerpiece of a brightly shining candle. It was one of the sort that old women often collect and it smelled like cinnamon.
Ryan breathed it in--it was one of his favorite smells; his mother had not been old but she had definitely been a woman who collected candles, and had the dozens she had littered around the house lit every so often so the scents would waft under Ryan's bedroom door--and James laughed a little to himself. He apologized, claiming that he hadn't been able to find the kinds of candlesticks you were supposed to have at candlelit dinners, the kind that were long and white and needed to be put into a candelabrum.
"No, they're perfect. What's all this for?"
"Well, I figured this is the last time we'll have to ourselves before we're in Albuquerque and busy with your family and your old friends."
Ryan looked sharply at James. "We? I didn't--"
"No, it's okay! I told Sophie she was in charge of the bookstore for the weekend, it'll be fine. I want to meet the people you went to high school with." James looked at him, clearly excited about the next few days, his face full of eager innocence. Ryan was speechless and very much on his way to fuming.
"James, I don't remember asking you to come with me." Ryan said this as calmly as he could, though he imagined his voice sounded rather icy, like Sharpay's whenever she had had to speak to Gabriella during the war for the lead parts in Twinkle Towne.
"I know, but I assumed that you wouldn't be alone--and, you know, I know you don't like being alone for this sort of thing but you have too much pride to just come out and ask--"
"I'm going with Kelsi."
"I know, but--"
"James. Seriously. I didn't ask you to come. I... I hate to say it, but I really don't want you to." His boyfriend raised his eyebrows then. It was a quick and brief moment, but it had the (probably intended) effect of appearing incredibly hurt. Ryan felt a little bad then. "Look, I'm sorry--it's just that this is a part of my life that's long over. It has nothing to do with you, it's just that--"
"No, I understand. It's the same reason you never tell me when your mom or your sister is around. It's the same reason you never want to do anything with me and Kelsi at the same time. You're--you're ashamed of me or something, aren't you, Ryan?"
"No! What? James, no!" This remark blindsided Ryan. He hadn't even realized he'd ever done those things. James was exaggerating; he did have that tendency. Wasn't he exaggerating?
"Why don't you want me to come with you to Albuquerque, then? What's the real reason? It's not like the reunion is some exclusive party or anything, I know your invitation says family and friends are welcome and everyone's probably going to bring their spouses."
Ryan didn't have much of a reply for him. He didn't have a real reason for not bringing James. He just didn't want to. Instead of telling James this, however, he blurted out angrily, "Yeah, except we're not fucking married, James."
"Yeah. I know. I realize that." James sounded even more hurt than he did before. "Probably because you'd have to introduce me to your parents then, but you know, I understand you don't want to do that for some reason."
"It's not that I don't want to!"
James shook his head and sighed. "Whatever, Ry. I was all excited and... Never mind. I guess--Whatever." He walked over to the couch where his coat was draped over the back and grabbed it. "Bye."
He didn't slam the door when he left. James would never do something like that. But Ryan was left with the feeling that James had really wanted to.
He looked over at the table, where the candle was still lit, food forgotten. Ryan sat down and took a few bites before he laid down his fork, feeling sick.
Well, this weekend was getting off to a great start.
~*~
October 24th, 2017
Albuquerque, New Mexico
(East High School)
Chad flicked his finger at a piece of lint on his pants. He continued flicking even when it was gone until Gabriella reached over soundlessly and grabbed his wrist. Chad gave a long-suffering sigh, sat up straight, and pretended to listen to Troy's recollection of his high school years as he illustrated them to both the portion of the class of 2008 which had decided to show up at this godforsaken event and the class of 2018 which had been forced to attend the assembly. Unfortunately, unlike most of the people gathered in the auditorium, Chad had already heard these stories dozens of times over the years and, frankly, he was exceedingly bored by them. It didn't help that he was nervous about seeing Ryan.
He began fidgeting again. As he shifted and switched positions so that his left leg was crossed over his right instead of vice versa, he caught the sight of a blond head in the corner of his eye. He turned quickly to see who it was--Martha's husband, Tyler, whom he had met earlier in the afternoon. Chad remembered once again that Ryan had dyed his hair brown for his part in Singin' in the Rain. He saw a fedora a few rows in front of him and craned his neck to see who it was--it was only a high school girl.
Chad glanced at Gabriella. She was smiling and nodding and laughing along with Troy's words, as if she hadn't heard these stories dozens of times more than Ryan. It was obvious she was enjoying all of this. Chad couldn't help wonder if part of that was because she, at least, was still married to and in love with her high school sweetheart. Maybe that fact helped sweeten the memory of high school. Or maybe Gabriella was completely insane.
Still, Chad couldn't help wishing that he had something like Troy and Gabriella had always had. Troy still blushed, sometimes, when Gabriella spoke to him, though Chad suspected now that was less because of teenage innocence and more a result of something more adult. He knew that the honeymoon effect had worn off for both of them by now, having played peacemaker at least twice for each of them during a fight; yet, they still went on dates after twelve years together. That was pretty impressive.
Chad wasn't going to go so far that he would say he wished he was that stupidly in love with someone. It was more the stability and the knowledge that there would always be someone there when you were in that mood when you simply needed someone, for cuddling or to yell at or to have awesome sex with. And Chad hated living by himself. It was quiet and there was never anybody to laugh at the jokes he made when he watched television.
If he were being completely honest, Chad would say that he was lonely.
He gave another gusty sigh, the seventh in at least an hour. This was the first that didn't receive an exasperated look from Gabriella, however; she didn't hear it in the chair-scrapping, chat-filled chaos that followed Troy's speech. Chad followed everyone else and stood. Excusing himself, he began making his way towards the front of the room to talk to Taylor when he crashed into a tiny, familiar woman with short hair hidden under a pink cap and colorful bracelets that bounced and jangled against one another when she gestured animatedly with her hands as she spoke. "Sorry," muttered Chad.
"No problem," said the woman, looking up. "Chad!"
Chad widened his eyes and stopped dead in his tracks. "Whoa--dude--hey! How are you?"
"I'm good. What about you?"
"I'm great but--" Kelsi's attention moved past his shoulder, and with no expression belying the bomb she was about to drop, chirped, "Oh, thanks, Ryan."
Chad's head whipped around. Ryan Evans was standing there, looking as if absolutely nothing was odd about this situation, holding two waterbottles which Chad assumed was what Kelsi had thanked him for. His hair was, indeed, brown, but those blue eyes had not changed at all.
"I... um. Hi. Ryan." Chad swallowed. He was shaking. Why was he shaking? Stop shaking. "How are you?"
Ryan shrugged. "I'm surviving. You know. How about you?"
Chad coughed. This was pretty much the worst adrenaline rush he had ever had, and for the worst reason. So he was in the vicinity of his high school boyfriend for the first time in a decade. So what? Time had passed. Things had changed. There was nothing between them anymore. But Ryan had no idea that Chad had pined after him for years after they'd broken up. He, at least, had no reason to feel awkward.
"Kelsi and I actually have to go, but you know what? We're having dinner tonight at the Pizza Express nearby," said Ryan. "Do you want to meet us there? It's not very classy, I know, but for old time's sake?"
Chad nodded. Evidently he had forgotten how to make words with his mouth.
"Seven, then?"
"See you," Chad managed to choke out. Ryan smiled a thin smile at him and then brushed past him to take Kelsi's arm and drag her somewhere else. Kelsi waved a quick see-you-later as she was ushered away.
Reunions were a bad plan, he decided. All they did was make you feel like you were in high school again.
~*~
Ryan pulled Kelsi out to the hallway and into the empty nearby music classroom before letting her go and sinking onto the piano bench, hiding his face in his hands. "That was weird? Right? That was totally weird!"
Kelsi gently lay her hand on Ryan's arm. "It was a little weird."
"Why did I ask him to dinner? And to Pizza Express! That's where we used to go for, like, dates. I asked my high school ex-boyfriend to a place where we used to have dates! And make out!" Ryan groaned.
"You'd better not make out with him while I'm around. I don't really want to see it."
This caused Ryan to choke on air. Actually, it wasn't so much the statement itself that caused him to do so and more the entirely too appealing image that popped into his head. He stared up at Kelsi, shaking his head frantically. "I--I don't want to make out with him at all! I have a boyfriend! I think I do, anyway." He swallowed, feeling incredibly guilty.
After the assembly--which had been totally pointless; Ryan had no idea why he chose to go since the only things even slightly worth attending were the party (with open bar) that would be going on tomorrow night, and maybe the football game just before that, except Ryan couldn't care less about football, much less high school football, much less East High football since basketball was still the reigning sport here--Ryan and Kelsi went back to Ryan's house so Ryan could freak out a little more and Kelsi could take a desperately needed nap. At a quarter past six Ryan took a quick shower and by a quarter till both he and Kelsi were, if not completely ready, then a little more prepared. Well, Kelsi didn't have anything to worry about in the first place. But Ryan--though maybe he shouldn't have--couldn't stop worrying.
They got to Pizza Express in more or less one piece and upon entrance chose a booth that was as far away as humanly possible from what had been "Chad and Ryan's" booth during the summer after senior year. While they were waiting for Chad to arrive and the waitress to come by and take their order, Kelsi gave Ryan an obnoxiously sympathetic look. "It'll be okay," she told him soothingly. "Breathe."
"I'm a horrible person. Chad probably hates me. I have no idea why he agreed to do this. I mean, I dumped him, like, right after he told me he wanted to marry me. Maybe now, all these years later, he's going to take his revenge. he's going to take me behind the dumpster and murder me. Maybe he's going to pull up in a limo and throw eggs at me like I'm Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed."
"Breathe," repeated Kelsi. "I don't get the feeling that Chad is much of a murderer. Or an egg-thrower. Besides, that was, like, years ago."
Ryan tried to take her advice. It didn't work well.
A shadow appeared over the table. "Um. Hi," it said, coughing. Ryan looked up and there was Chad looking as awkward as Mrs. Darbus at a frat party. (Mrs. Darbus?)
Ryan waved at the empty seat next to Kelsi in what he hoped was a smooth gesture. He took another deep breath and smiled charmingly (again: so he hoped). "Hello. Sit down, Chad." He forced his voice into calmness.
Chad looked uncertain as he glanced at the booth. Kelsi flashed an encouraging smile, and because she was adorable and Kelsi, Chad apparently fell under the same spell she tried on everyone else. He sat. "So... what's up with you guys?" He still sounded odd, like there was something stuck in his throat and he had to force the words out. What was probably stuck in his throat was a lump of angry emotion.
Kelsi answered first, since Ryan was suddenly distracted by an image of Chad with a chainsaw in his hands, coming towards him. It was ridiculous (and kind of hysterical) but Ryan thought he would probably deserve it if Chad did come for him with a chainsaw. Or even a dull knife.
He bit his lip in nervousness all the way through Kelsi's somewhat lengthy summary of the last ten years of her life. When the waitress interrupted at one point and when she asked what kind of pizza pie they would like, Ryan automatically replied "pepperoni and olives" at the exact moment Chad said the same (Kelsi made a face but didn't try to change the order). They glanced at one another in surprise with a hint of something else that Ryan wasn't sure he could name. The gaze seemed to last at least a minute before Chad looked down at the table again. He never blushed, but even now Ryan could tell when he was embarrassed.
Kelsi barely waited a beat before she resumed her story, as if nothing had happened. When she ended, she asked Chad to tell his own story.
The waitress came back with their food right in the middle of Chad's explanation for having dropped out of U of A's basketball system in the middle of junior year. Chad grew more and more animated as he spoke, having apparently decided that Ryan was not going to step all over his heart or something as he appeared to have feared earlier. Amazing, he knew, but Ryan was actually interested in what a middle school gym teacher had to say.
Not that Ryan was paying Chad's words all that much attention. Rather, he was busy staring at Chad's aged but still attractive features, at the strangely sexy goatee, at the way his biceps were defined and at the evidence of a set of fantastic abs underneath his t-shirt. Chad still wore stupid t-shirts with catchy slogans on them--he'd probably be wearing those shirts when he was ninety. He still had the best hair that Ryan had ever seen and those full lips that Ryan was drawn to like basketball players to Zeke's cookies (again with the high school-themed similes).
Tuning back in for Chad's enthusiastic speech about how excited he was about Troy and Gabriella's future baby, Ryan marveled at how much had happened to both of them since they had last spoken. There was so much that he'd missed. He remembered how when he and Chad had first started seeing each other, Ryan had thought that from that point on he'd never miss a single part of Chad's life. There had been that moment when he thought they would always be together.
He had been so wrong. It was a strange feeling. Not the being wrong part--he was often wrong about things, especially when they had to do with relationships--but the sudden feeling that maybe, just maybe, he'd missed out on a very great opportunity.
As he lifted a slice of pizza to his mouth, Ryan's heart was racing. On the surface, it was just pizza toppings and a once-frequented date spot. But despite Chad's possible (probable) desire to murder him, underneath everything else was the stirring suspicion that maybe a lot more than Pizza Express hadn't changed since he was eighteen.
~*~
It was vastly unlikely that Chad should be laughing near to the point of tears at something said by someone who had once, for all intents and purposes, broken his heart and then fed it to a pack of hungry wolves--and yet that's exactly what he was doing.
By the time the pizza had been fully devoured (mostly by Chad himself), he felt as if it were again July 2008, helped along by the fact that the restaurant was exactly the same as it had been ten years ago and that the classic pop station was quietly playing Britney Spears and Black Eyed Peas in the background.
Ryan had definitely changed in more ways than his hair color, but there were some qualities that never would--the sparkly hat sitting by his hip on the booth, the mischievous but good-natured smile that graced his face whenever he teased, the utter joy that lit up his entire face whenever he was talking about something he loved (Singin' in the Rain was a particular theme that night), the borderline ludicrous campiness. And Chad couldn't help but notice that if Ryan's hair was different, his cheekbones weren't. Neither were his lean arms and the lips that Chad found himself wanting to kiss like he had thousands of times before, in a different era.
Wait.
That had to be the cheap pizza talking. And yet as Ryan spoke, Chad found he was growing more and more attracted to the idea. Chad came up with a million justifications for the possibility. After all, their past relationship and its sudden end were far behind them. They were more mature now. It would only be for one night. It wouldn't mean anything; they would probably go back to never speaking once Ryan returned to New York; Chad hadn't had sex in about six months, and he was kind of gagging for it.
The last one was the most pressing.
After they all chipped in to pay the check, Kelsi stood up and smiled at both of them. It was a sweet and encouraging smile with a hint of that old Kelsi trademark mix of knowing and mystery. "Well, I have to go, guys. I'm going to walk down to the boutique over on Franklin to meet Gabi--we're shopping for the party tomorrow night. I'll get a ride back to your house from there, 'kay, Ryan?" She took her purse and with a final wave, disappeared out the door.
Ryan shook his head in exasperation, ostensibly at Kelsi. Then the corners of his lips turned up in a smile as he turned to Chad.
"Do you remember how we used to try to get into the Desert Rose when we were kids?" The Desert Rose was a bar not far from Pizza Express. Chad had spent many an hour plotting with Ryan and sometimes with the other Wildcats about ways to get in, and they had even once had a fake ID, but the bouncer had never bought it.
"Yeah?"
"We're of age now."
Chad grinned. "What are we waiting for? Let's go."
~*~
The Desert Rose was unexciting, as far as bars go. That didn't stop Chad and Ryan from somehow managing to have a good time.
"Dude," said Chad as he watched Ryan take a shot. Ryan tried not to cough as it slid down his throat. "Weren't you, like, driving?"
Ryan grinned, tears in his eyes from the struggle against the sting in his esophagus. "I can take a camel back."
"Where are you even going to get a camel?"
"I'm sure I could find one." Ryan shrugged. "We live in the desert after all." He kept a straight face for about two seconds before he burst out into laughter. Chad joined him, and Ryan wasn't quite sure why it was the funniest thing ever, but it was. They leaned against each other, their arms wrapped around one another, and they laughed until they couldn't breathe anymore. Ryan wasn't really that drunk but the alcohol in addition to realizing that Chad was just as fabulous to hang out with as he'd always been was making him feel incredibly giddy.
"Maybe we should get a cab," said Ryan at a lull in the laughter. Chad nodded and made the call, and when he hung up he lifted his head and said, "I gotta pee."
"I'll go with you." Ryan wiggled his eyebrows at him.
Chad narrowed his eyes at him but couldn't keep a straight face. "Are we some of my middle school girls?"
"I gotta pee too, moron." This was a lie. Ryan didn't really have to pee, but he didn't want to be left out here all by himself. Maybe he was a middle school girl. He dazedly followed Chad--only looking at Chad's ass a little bit, even though it was very much so an amazing ass, even now.
He had an idea. Stepping quickly in front of Chad (causing him to trip) as they reached the entrance to the bathroom, Ryan threw open the door and peeked his head in. There were only two stalls and three urinals, and not a single one of them was occupied. Ryan looked back at Chad and with a grin on his face that he couldn't help, Ryan grabbed Chad's wrist and pulled him inside, all but throwing him against the door as it slammed shut. He put one hand on either of Chad's shoulders and pinned him there.
There was fleeting terror in his eyes but that disappeared as soon as Ryan nudged his hips against Chad's and it became clear just what Ryan intended to do. That was when Chad leaned forward and crushed his lips against Ryan's before Ryan even had a chance. Their mouths sloppily met again and again, and there was absolutely no finesse, no sweetness, nothing similar to what James offered when Ryan kissed him. This was messy and dirty and a little tipsy, and it made Ryan curl his fingers into the fabric of Chad's stupid t-shirt as Chad's tongue pushed its way into Ryan's mouth. Ryan met it stroke for stroke. He nibbled on Chad's bottom lip, and then leaned down to mouth along Chad's jaw. Chad made a tiny sound and Ryan wanted to grin but his mouth was otherwise occupied. Ryan had never known he missed Chad's lips and the way Chad liked to suck on Ryan's tongue, or the way he moaned when Ryan sucked on the skin just under his ear.
The bartender knocked on the door, startling both of them. "Your cab's here."
"My apartment," gasped Chad. "Bed?"
"Yes, yes, yes," was Ryan's reply, and they both forgot their original reason for going to the bathroom. If peeing had, indeed, been their actual reason.
~*~
It was sometimes fortunate that Chad did live alone, it occurred to him, because otherwise they would have woken up somebody for sure.
The cab ride had been mostly uneventful. As uneventful as frantic backseat make-outs ever were. The cabbie had looked somewhat unexcited by the prospect of two men going at it in his car, but he didn't say a word and when Ryan paid the fare, he even gave them a little wave and told them to be safe. Which of course sent them into peals of laughter until Chad couldn't stand it and he had to kiss Ryan again and he was pressing Ryan against his front door. "I can't find my keys," he mumbled, searching his pockets even as he was licking the underside of Ryan's chin.
Ryan chuckled. "I mean, you're pretty distract--" He was cut off by Chad's kiss. Recovering slightly a few moments later, Chad reached into his front coat pocket and pulled out his keys. It took him another several seconds to figure out how to put it in the keyhole, and then finally they were nearly falling over themselves to get in. Chad walked Ryan backwards toward the couch, on which they fell together in a tangle of limbs. Chad, fighting for the leverage that would allow him to straddle Ryan's hips, knocked his elbow against the coffee table which made him laugh even more although it hurt, but he found that he didn't care when Ryan wrapped his fingers around the curls at the nape of his neck and pulled his head down to kiss him again.
It suddenly grew less frantic, and there were fewer giggles than there were moans and panting. Chad ran his hands over Ryan's sides underneath his button-up shirt, making Ryan shiver. Chad decided that Ryan shivering was his favorite thing ever and vowed to make it happen as often as he could tonight. Clumsily he began pulling at the buttons, trying to pull it off, and only after Ryan began to help did he succeed. He threw the shirt over the arm of the couch, and it soared over towards the entertainment center where it hit a picture frame and knocked it down. There was the tell-tale crash of glass shattering but Chad said, "Fuck it," and pulled off his own t-shirt.
Ryan's laugh was dark and sexy. Chad bucked his hips against Ryan's and Ryan let out a throaty moan. "Should we--bed?" gasped Chad.
"No," Ryan replied. "Let's--right here--"
And the thought of that alone meant it was Chad's turn to shiver.
He reached down to undo the fly of Ryan's jeans, finding that was easier than the tiny buttons that lined Ryan's shirt. "Take them off, take them off," he moaned. It probably sounded like he was whining. He didn't much care.
"Lift up," said Ryan, and Chad changed positions so that he was no longer fully straddling Ryan, his hands clutching the arm of the couch, one knee lodged between Ryan's torso and the back of the couch, and his other leg holding him up on the other side. Ryan lifted his hips and reached his hands under Chad--brushing against Chad's dick the tiniest bit and Chad didn't want to buck his hips again but he couldn't help it--so that he could pull his jeans and boxer briefs down in the same motion. Then he reached up to do the same for Chad.
It was cold in the living room but as Chad settled back so that he was sitting on top of Ryan's thighs and Ryan sat up and leaned forward to suck at Chad's nipple, which had reacted to the cold air, he found he didn't much care about that either. It wasn't just that this was the first time he'd had sex with someone other than himself in so long. Well, it was partly that. But it was something more. It was the person he was with. It was the knowledge that even though Chad had done a lot with Ryan back when they had been teenagers, it would be about ten times better now that they both knew what they were doing. It was the desperation and the frantic feeling about it, like they had both craving this for years. Maybe they had and just never realized it.
With that thought, Chad looked down at Ryan and found that Ryan was gazing up at him. Slowly, without breaking eye contact, Chad reached behind Ryan's ears and pushed his fingers into the hair there. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Ryan's forehead, his eyes fluttering closed. He tilted his head down and let his lips brush against Ryan's nose and cheek before they met Ryan's own. They kissed softly, in a quiet, uncertain kind of way, and it was such a change from their kisses just mere minutes ago that Chad felt dizzy.
He felt Ryan wrap a fist around Chad's dick and begin to pump his hand up and down with agonizing slowness. Chad whined quietly and Ryan must have gotten the idea because he began to go a little faster. Chad drew his fingers down Ryan's arm until Chad's hand joined Ryan's and he showed Ryan just how fast he wanted it. They didn't say a single word to one another, but Chad did lean his forehead against Ryan's as he got closer and closer until all he wanted to do was come, and he hoped he would come hard, and he hoped Ryan would see what he had been missing for ten years.
Ryan was pressing his lips against every part of Chad's skin that he could reach--his collarbone, the juncture between his neck and shoulder, underneath his chin, the vee just above his armpit. When he stuck his tongue in Chad's ear and sucked on his earlobe, mumbling all manner of incomprehensible but clearly dirty things, Chad was gone, spurting white all over their stomachs and thighs.
When he was done, Ryan licked his lips and ran a fingertip through Chad's come, then lifted it to his mouth and wrapped his tongue around it.
Chad let out a strangled groan and climbed down from atop Ryan's legs to kneel down at dick level. He stared at Ryan's erection and licked his lips. It twitched and Chad, grinning, leaned forward to wrap his lips around the head. He reached forward and wrapped his fist around the base much like Ryan had done for Chad. He licked up and down the shaft and paid special attention to a vein running up the side. It was oddly familiar though it had been a very long time.
A few minutes into it, Chad pulled his head back and sucked at the head of Ryan's dick. Hard. "Chad," moaned Ryan, bucking his hips so that Chad almost choked. Chad held them down with his free hand before he continued sucking and when Chad grasped a little tighter and licked the vein again, it was Ryan's turn to come, letting out a long, low moan. It was difficult but Chad managed to swallow it all down before he climbed back up onto the couch to give Ryan a filthy, messy kiss. It was almost dirty enough and long enough to ignite desire in Chad once again but Ryan pulled away first and said with a smirk, "Maybe we should clean up."
Chad shrugged and stood up to get a couple of towels from the closet. Ryan was standing when he came back. "I should go..." he said as he took the proffered fuzzy blue towel and began to wipe himself down.
Chad did the same. "No," he said, perhaps too quickly. "I mean, dude--you're still drunk. Aren't you? I arm. I mean, I am. Stay here?"
Ryan appeared to consider this for all of seven seconds. Then he threw a hand up in the air. "Why the hell not?" He lifted his other hand to take Chad's. "Where's your bed, Wildcat?"
"Don't fucking call me Wildcat," replied Chad as he threw the towel in the general direction of the hallway and led Ryan towards his bedroom.
~*~
In the morning, when Chad woke up to find that Ryan was still beside him, smiling sleepily as he slowly awakened, Chad realized that maybe he wasn't in love with Ryan anymore but if given time he could remember how to be.
"Coffee?"
Ryan stretched and yawned. "Coffee would be awesome."
Part Three