You know you're drunk when....

[bridgealicious]

You deliver a freshly made, piping hot pizza to your boyfriend, but the process of bending over to place the pizza on the coffee table throws you off balance and you promptly hurl the pizza across the room. Of course the pizza lands face down on the carpet. However, you justify eating the pizza by pointing out that a section still has cheese on

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[syphilis]

When was the last time you had sex?