My life according to Facebook status:
Because sooner or later I am going to start posting some fic somewhere, and if I'm lucky, someone will come here to check out how big of a creep I am/not... my FB statuses for the last couple months:
BRIDGE -
never thought she would ever be one of those coffee in the morning people.
Is so tired of having a job a fucking trained monkey could do.
Is in love with The Hoff: that didnt sound like Hungarian rhapsody, it was more like beef stroganoff. Re: a classical piano player. Enough said.
Is at a Styx concert at a county fair in Wisconsin. Insert your own joke.
Loves paying money she doesnt really have to fix things that arent wrong with her car. Sweet man.
Is seeking affordable plans in the Chicagoland area this weekend. Inquire below.
Is mouth breathing quite loudly. Whats the deal with that?
dares you to just try listening to Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA without at least bobbing your head a little. Cant resist the urge to rock out like a girl.
is squee'ing at the thought of Fall air and sweater season!! Oh and crunchy leaves!!
is the rocket man. And I think its gonna be a long long time.. Til i figure out what Elton John is bumbling about
Is glad sleeping people aren't nearly as adorable as sleeping cats, or i would probably be a total creep.
Is home alone watching the disney channel on a friday night. Remind me why i had to graduate college..?
is singing out of tune really reason for anyone to stand up and walk out? Tone-deaf people need friends too!
Twenty-four feels alright after all.
Happy Birthday to me! ha - beat you to it.
Kinda finding this rain more stressful and unsettling than soothing.
's birthday wish list: blank CDs and two black jelly bracelets. The end. And yes I am aware it is 2009.
Nothing like stealing a painting of the Virgin Mary to pay for your rape victim's abortion, and then taking them both to Mexico. God i love useless news!
Is filling her iTunes with ridiculously old school classics.
Just misread the word 'worries' as 'whores' and any did that make the story interesting! Gah, need glasses asap.
Wants to punch everyone in the face. For a list of reasons too long for a fb status.
Could someone please explain Secret Window to me? I think i missed something.
feels like crying. How am i supposed to drive an hour and a half in a thunderstorm with no lights and no window?
Is trying to convince Fatty Lumpkins not to suffocate me in my sleep.
Isn't surprised that you didnt call, but surprised that she thought you might.
Ok so i understand the tambourine hand bruises, but why the hell am i limping?
Is very tired and pretty red. Relaxing the day away before i have to work tomorrow
's life lesson # 376: if you wake up with a tambourine-sized bruise on your hand, you probably have some appolgy calls to make.
s it too much to ask how my day is or do i always have to sit through the play by play of yours without any regard to mine..
White trash parade 2 drs dwn last night: "show us yer boobies" reply "yeah mom!"
Needs an occupational pep talk. What am i doing with my life??
Keeps expecting answers to questions she hasn't asked yet.
Scratch previous status, actually did get things accomplished today!
Really wanted to be productive today but this rain is sucking that idea from existence
Paula Cole playing at Woodfield.. Someone wanna let me know what year it is..?
Likes the idea of sleeping and reading this weekend, and also getting out of work at one on a friday!
Wandering around in this story. Cant get enough of it.
Could really use some Christ chex this morning.
Bashed my teeth with a "revive" vitamin water, i guess thats one way to do it.
is in a country music kinda mood. Anyone see anything wrong with this picture..?
is determined to be in a good mood tomorrow.
Is trying to find the line between want and need
When a path diverged in the wood, I chose to cut a third. No need for you to follow.
Dont know what I told you, but I'm sure that it's true.
Someone please explain to me how my menthol light cigarette leaves the same aftertaste of McDonalds french fries. Okay, go!
The only thing that will get me through the day is this pee-tasting energy drink.... I think I'm ok with that.
Is having a nice productive but relaxing sunday.
Anyone want to do lunch or dinner tonight on me? Yes, I have gotten to the point of buying company. Come on! You know you want to.
Wants plans for the day that dont involve driving over an hour to get wasted and sloppy. Please?
Blindingly foggy AND blindingly sunny.. What is this, a july blizzard?
Is tryin to find a happy medium, I'm starting to think it isnt here.
Wonders if getting a phone number from Julio, the gas station guy could ever be a compliment or if its strictly creepy. Discuss.
just got caught straight jammin to some usher in the car.
Seriously considered grabbing a mike's hard lime instead of a pop for her lunch this morning. Is that a not ok thing?
Is not on speaking terms with the Hoopdie right now. So angry!
Is feeling surprisingly pleasant considering the drunkenness of last night, and waking up so early this morning
Hangover city, population: me. Woodpeckers outside my window, population: too the fuck many.
is college-sick, Macomb-sick, gay-sick... it sucks to think I won't ever have that again.
Made a big hilarious mistake involving hair conditioner tonight.
Enjoys making overly dramatic status updates.
feels like getting mind-blowingly intoxicated. Who cares if it's 11 a.m. on a Thursday??
No, for the last time, it is not sweet like a chicka-cherry-cola.
Likes any holiday that involves eating pie for breakfast and drinking excessively.
thinks push mowing the lawn in a bikini top is ok if it entices the 13 yr old neighbor boys and boosts my self esteem
Enjoys limeade and sleeping in til eight. Its the simple things.
Thinks the phrase "going postal" should be changed to "going commuter." any takers?
Is drinking a bottle of white zin tonight. Wanna fight about it?
hates when the cover of a song is way better than the original... seriously? how can you suck more at your own song than someone else?
Is red white and blue, but only two of those are colors.
Wants to find the gas station where a mariachi band practices in the cooler behind the pops and energy drinks. Its existence has been confirmed.
Summer is a very loud season.
getting excited about Pride is gay.
Taco=Breakfast.
Just got a sunburn driving home from work. At this rate I'll have melanoma by friday! Whoohoo!
Dear women teens and tweens buying $2 tank tops at Old Navy, CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Kthnxbyee
Cant think clearly enough to have a clever status right now. Even seriously funny people need a break once in awhile. OKAY?
BRIDGE -
never thought she would ever be one of those coffee in the morning people.
Is so tired of having a job a fucking trained monkey could do.
Is in love with The Hoff: that didnt sound like Hungarian rhapsody, it was more like beef stroganoff. Re: a classical piano player. Enough said.
Is at a Styx concert at a county fair in Wisconsin. Insert your own joke.
Loves paying money she doesnt really have to fix things that arent wrong with her car. Sweet man.
Is seeking affordable plans in the Chicagoland area this weekend. Inquire below.
Is mouth breathing quite loudly. Whats the deal with that?
dares you to just try listening to Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA without at least bobbing your head a little. Cant resist the urge to rock out like a girl.
is squee'ing at the thought of Fall air and sweater season!! Oh and crunchy leaves!!
is the rocket man. And I think its gonna be a long long time.. Til i figure out what Elton John is bumbling about
Is glad sleeping people aren't nearly as adorable as sleeping cats, or i would probably be a total creep.
Is home alone watching the disney channel on a friday night. Remind me why i had to graduate college..?
is singing out of tune really reason for anyone to stand up and walk out? Tone-deaf people need friends too!
Twenty-four feels alright after all.
Happy Birthday to me! ha - beat you to it.
Kinda finding this rain more stressful and unsettling than soothing.
's birthday wish list: blank CDs and two black jelly bracelets. The end. And yes I am aware it is 2009.
Nothing like stealing a painting of the Virgin Mary to pay for your rape victim's abortion, and then taking them both to Mexico. God i love useless news!
Is filling her iTunes with ridiculously old school classics.
Just misread the word 'worries' as 'whores' and any did that make the story interesting! Gah, need glasses asap.
Wants to punch everyone in the face. For a list of reasons too long for a fb status.
Could someone please explain Secret Window to me? I think i missed something.
feels like crying. How am i supposed to drive an hour and a half in a thunderstorm with no lights and no window?
Is trying to convince Fatty Lumpkins not to suffocate me in my sleep.
Isn't surprised that you didnt call, but surprised that she thought you might.
Ok so i understand the tambourine hand bruises, but why the hell am i limping?
Is very tired and pretty red. Relaxing the day away before i have to work tomorrow
's life lesson # 376: if you wake up with a tambourine-sized bruise on your hand, you probably have some appolgy calls to make.
s it too much to ask how my day is or do i always have to sit through the play by play of yours without any regard to mine..
White trash parade 2 drs dwn last night: "show us yer boobies" reply "yeah mom!"
Needs an occupational pep talk. What am i doing with my life??
Keeps expecting answers to questions she hasn't asked yet.
Scratch previous status, actually did get things accomplished today!
Really wanted to be productive today but this rain is sucking that idea from existence
Paula Cole playing at Woodfield.. Someone wanna let me know what year it is..?
Likes the idea of sleeping and reading this weekend, and also getting out of work at one on a friday!
Wandering around in this story. Cant get enough of it.
Could really use some Christ chex this morning.
Bashed my teeth with a "revive" vitamin water, i guess thats one way to do it.
is in a country music kinda mood. Anyone see anything wrong with this picture..?
is determined to be in a good mood tomorrow.
Is trying to find the line between want and need
When a path diverged in the wood, I chose to cut a third. No need for you to follow.
Dont know what I told you, but I'm sure that it's true.
Someone please explain to me how my menthol light cigarette leaves the same aftertaste of McDonalds french fries. Okay, go!
The only thing that will get me through the day is this pee-tasting energy drink.... I think I'm ok with that.
Is having a nice productive but relaxing sunday.
Anyone want to do lunch or dinner tonight on me? Yes, I have gotten to the point of buying company. Come on! You know you want to.
Wants plans for the day that dont involve driving over an hour to get wasted and sloppy. Please?
Blindingly foggy AND blindingly sunny.. What is this, a july blizzard?
Is tryin to find a happy medium, I'm starting to think it isnt here.
Wonders if getting a phone number from Julio, the gas station guy could ever be a compliment or if its strictly creepy. Discuss.
just got caught straight jammin to some usher in the car.
Seriously considered grabbing a mike's hard lime instead of a pop for her lunch this morning. Is that a not ok thing?
Is not on speaking terms with the Hoopdie right now. So angry!
Is feeling surprisingly pleasant considering the drunkenness of last night, and waking up so early this morning
Hangover city, population: me. Woodpeckers outside my window, population: too the fuck many.
is college-sick, Macomb-sick, gay-sick... it sucks to think I won't ever have that again.
Made a big hilarious mistake involving hair conditioner tonight.
Enjoys making overly dramatic status updates.
feels like getting mind-blowingly intoxicated. Who cares if it's 11 a.m. on a Thursday??
No, for the last time, it is not sweet like a chicka-cherry-cola.
Likes any holiday that involves eating pie for breakfast and drinking excessively.
thinks push mowing the lawn in a bikini top is ok if it entices the 13 yr old neighbor boys and boosts my self esteem
Enjoys limeade and sleeping in til eight. Its the simple things.
Thinks the phrase "going postal" should be changed to "going commuter." any takers?
Is drinking a bottle of white zin tonight. Wanna fight about it?
hates when the cover of a song is way better than the original... seriously? how can you suck more at your own song than someone else?
Is red white and blue, but only two of those are colors.
Wants to find the gas station where a mariachi band practices in the cooler behind the pops and energy drinks. Its existence has been confirmed.
Summer is a very loud season.
getting excited about Pride is gay.
Taco=Breakfast.
Just got a sunburn driving home from work. At this rate I'll have melanoma by friday! Whoohoo!
Dear women teens and tweens buying $2 tank tops at Old Navy, CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Kthnxbyee
Cant think clearly enough to have a clever status right now. Even seriously funny people need a break once in awhile. OKAY?