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[bridgetolio]

I've got one of those dear jane self help writers staying on my floor, her name is Flo. Its kind of not so much the actual floor - more like the metaphorical floor... Either way its kind of good this way I can get free advice on dreams and groin injuries (damn betty's bread warmers why do you have to be schniggy banging height *why do you have to

Comments

[anonymous]

Dear Flo
I've been having dreams that I've been making out with a granny, I'm not a lesbian , neither do I have an elderly fetish....Whats happening to me.

Anon

[bridgetolio]

Dear Bridget (Anon)

The elderly woman represents comfort and security, the relationship that you have with her this "making out" just replicates the feeling of being loved - your subconcious is just getting them all mixed up nothing to worry about.It just means that you've reached a time in your life where your'e comfortable with your relationship with your mother and those close to you.

Your friend Flo

[anonymous]

Dear Flo,
A friend recently told me that girls have vagina holes. Is this true?

Yours Sincerely,
Confused

[bridgetolio]

Dear confused

While girls technically do have a "vagina" hole (some quite vast), its best not to refer to it as such, its more polite and less vulgar to call her "vagina" hole a FEE FEE.

In your hole sonny jim. In your hole

With love Flo

[anonymous]

Dear Flo,
My boyfriend recently slapped me in the cock with his face. He seemed to find it funny but I was deeply offended. Is this correct bedroom etiquette?

Also, what is your opinion on Dutch ovens? When is it appropriate to pass wind in my boyfriend's face?

In anticipation,
Uptight

[ohayo_sakura]

is that bridget or jess!? :)

from the pen of flo

[bridgetolio]

Dear ohayo sakura

I think the better question is not "is that bridget or jess" but perhaps "How troubled is society when two seemingly intelligent women could find no other questions on life other than those of dutch ovens and elderly fantasy."

Flo (ppy pants)

[bridgetolio]

Dear Uptight

A good ol cock slap ey! A dutch delight coupled with a good ol cockslap can be just what you need to spice up your uptight love life. Together they create a perfect harmony and the right amount of humidity to let relaxation effortlessly slip you away to another dimension of love, honour and respect.

Passing wind in your boyfriend's face on the other hand should be practised delicately as some can find this offensive and sometimes chunky. Perhaps give it a few days before your new beau has this aromatic pleasure - he will grow to love it over time and if he doesn't slap him in the face with a cock or two.

So my advice to you uptight is to let loose
VADAVEEE
love flo