Comments | bright_light: Haven Prologue

bright_light

Haven Prologue

Feb 02, 2008 02:15

I am finally getting around to actually writing my story, but being not at all pleased with what I have so far I am posting it all over the place in hopes of getting some useful reviews. Therefore, I present the prologue of Haven, with chapter one soon to follow.

( Summary: Humans have learned that those creatures long believed to be pure fantasy do in fact exist, and such creatures must now fear for their lives. As the threat worsens, can a group of nonhuman housemates not only survive but form the family they all desire? )

Comments 1

failivrin April 20 2008, 00:16:07 UTC

It's really sad how I don't notice you friended me for a while. So let's see... Feedback? Comma before Michael's name, I think. And you give Colin and Alan the same last name right off the bat, then mention that Alan's Colin's dad, then say 'father and son'. That sounds a little repetitive... I think. Don't take me seriously at all.
Also: More of this story would be made of win.