i say things i know i shouldn't say. all i'm accomplishing is further convincing myself i'm a real fucking bastard. nothing is wrong. i'm tired. i honestly don't care and then i'm bawling uncontrollably. and i know i'm throwing it all away, it's well on its way. and i'm pissed off and trying to determine what i need to do to save myself.

I find myself bored, with things to talk about, but no one to listen to me blather on, and that hasn't happened in a really long time ( Read more... )

*yawn* another long stretch without an update. it seems i really can't justify the keystrokes when i have so many essays of such great length to be writing. the last two essays i wrote were 15 and 13 pages. eeks. have to use the industrial stapler on those mother fuckers. i'm on the last project of the semester, an icky take home exam from the ( Read more... )

hmm ( Read more... )

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i just don't care. maybe because i went ahead and numbed everything again. that's okay, i just can't care right now. cause then i want to scream. a bit on edge. i debated between fucking it, and going for it, cause the in between was unacceptable, and unfair, and fairly shitty. so i chose to go for it. but not without resentment embedded. and it ( Read more... )

well its about that time of the year...october the 4th already...holy fuck, this year will not be long lived ( Read more... )

wow, nothing like drinking by yourself in the middle of the day ( Read more... )

sad but happy face.

ahh dear ( Read more... )