(no subject)
OOC Information;
Name; Kyrie
Personal Journal; levelgrind
Contact; sorcerygenius(at)gmail(dot)com, sorcery genius (AIM), Kyzaku @ Plurk
Other Characters; N/A
IC Information;
Character Name; Oerba Dia Vanille
Canon; Final Fantasy XIII ☼
Canon Point; Beginning of Chapter 11.
Age; Mentally and physically 19. Chronologically 519.
House; Sigyn.
Power; Healing.
Personality; "My name is Oerba Dia Vanille. I'm a l'Cie, from Gran Pulse. And to everyone on Cocoon... Evil."
They say you can't judge a book by it's cover. This has never been more true than it is with Oerba Dia Vanille. On the outside, Vanille's upbeat nature and naivete are the cover to a book with pages filled with the hardship of living as something of perceived evil, as well as doing things she is none too proud to admit, mired in guilt and uncertainty and trying to cover up her own depression. Considering she is very much a closed book, the cover is the majority of what you see. This isn't to say her positive attitude is fake- but it is a mask, one she hides behind often in order to run away from facing things like telling people truths that could hurt them. In a way, Vanille's book is like a brightly colored tome that turns out to be the hardest read of your life.
On the surface, Vanille is the picture of sunshine: always upbeat, almost childishly bubbly, and overly friendly, and never seems to run out of energy for being downright annoyingly cheerful. There are no shortage of moments where it is completely inappropriate for her level of cheer, particularly after the entire party of Cocoon residents have been branded as Pulse l'Cie, basically enemies of themselves. A lot of her personality can come out by being downright bizarre, as if she has no idea what's going on around her. She doesn't seem to notice that things are particularly bad at any point, and just keeps skipping along, humming to herself without a single care in the world.
The truth is because a lot of this is a front. Behind the big smiles and childlike naivete is a girl who has dug herself a hole far too deep to climb her own way out of. Although she isn't decietful by nature, she has managed to spin a web of lies so thick that she's caught an entire world in its grasp, beginning with one of the people she cares about most in the world- Fang.
Fang is by far Vanille's Most Important Person. Having come from a place largely considered by her party members (and all of Coccoon) to be 'Hell on Earth,' Vanille is no stranger to survival (if the bear pelt around her waist is anything to go by- after all, it was taken from a bear she'd defeated herself). She's lived on Gran Pulse for most of her life, and after losing her family in the War of Transgression, started living in the Oerba Orphanage, where she met Oerba Yun Fang. The two became close friends, and, eventually, when Fang became a l'Cie in order to protect Gran Pulse from their enemy in the sky, Cocoon, Vanille follows, offering herself to the fal'Cie after Fang had insulted and tried to attack it. Vanille had known she would ask to become a l'Cie along with Fang since the beginning, not wanting to be left alone, but Fang still saw it as Vanille saving her life, since the priests of Anima had seen Fang's actions as punishable by death. This closeness to Fang harvested more than a bit of dependency in her, and she doesn't like to be on her own, and especially doesn't like being away from Fang, who she constantly worries about.
The two of them are nearly inseparable, until they wake up on Cocoon after a 500 year stasis after failing to properly complete their Focus (Fang tried to complete it alone in order to prevent the two of them from turning Cie'th, while Vanille was too scared). When she discovers Fang, whose brand is burnt out and inactive, has forgotten her Focus, Vanille lies and pretends she doesn't remember as well; she would rather hide the truth and turn Cie'th (as her own brand is still active) than have her friend know what she had done. Moreover, she understands the true weight of their Focus, and, after spending a while on Cocoon, realizes their 'enemy' doesn't seem to understand what they've done to Pulse, and don't even understand the thing that they fear- the threat from Pulse. The people of Cocoon are like children, being taken care of by the Fal'Cie who steal everything they need from Gran Pulse instead of forcing the people to live on their own terms.
Fang is one of the peoeple Vanille can truly be herself around, and the only person who can usually cut through all of her crap and get at the meat of the problems she may be hiding. After all, you don't grow up together without learning each other's mannerisms, or even how they think. Fang is no stranger to waking up in the middle of the night to Vanille crying in her sleep. Ever since waking up from stasis, however, Vanille had been acting strangely, and unfortunately for Fang, she never got a chance to actually figure out why before they were separated, and it was much later when she learns that Vanille had been lying to her about their Focus all along.
Vanille handles other people very differently, although it is usually in a more upbeat manner than anything. She is compassionate and cares about the people she's friends with or close to, worried about their well-being. She's a very friendly person, often encouraging others to do things they may consider hard or might not be willing to do on their own (she is not very good at practicing what she preaches), and at other times, encouraging them to face it later, to look to the bright side instead of facing their negativity, the same way she does. There are many times where it seems she's pushing people so hard that she's uncaring or insensitive, but it's because she genuinely cares about them, and she usually does this because she thinks it's for the best for them. This is quite naive, considering how much she doesn't even know some of these people. This leads her to seem disingenuous and flippant, as if she doesn't actually care about the people around her- but in reality, she's simply trying to lead them away from emotions she doesn't think they can handle. She doesn't hold much faith in the capacity of hardship of others, thinking that the people of Cocoon are like children who can't take care of themselves.
She would rather be behind someone, supporting them, than leading the troupe- because this was the role she always took with Fang, it's where she feels most comfortable. Fang makes the decisions, and though Vanille may try to fight them or argue with her, usually, the older girl ends up getting her way- though Fang's actions are usually as a direct result of trying to protect Vanille. This isn't to say she isn't a driven young woman- she's just not the leader, which is probably a good thing because of her penchant for trying to run away or lead someone astray to keep them from facing things she's afraid will hurt them. This may make it seem like as if many of Vanille's thoughts put the needs of others before her own, however, this is not entirely the case; while many of her actions are not done solely for selfish reasons, she almost always has an agenda of her own when she drags people into her messes- whether it's looking for Fang or running away from their Focus.
Because oh, does Vanille run. She's the definition of a conundrum- a brave coward. In reality, she's incredibly self-sacrificial, condemning herself to living life as a monster in order to save Cocoon from the fate of being destroyed (which was her and Fang's Focus) as well as protecting Fang from having to take part in it again, since her brand was inactive, meaning she had no Focus to complete. Her method to this, however, is by running away from everything. This action is actually indicative of her entire personality- she runs away from the truth and her fears by pushing it all in the back of her mind, pretending it doesn't exist, and putting on a happy face for those around her. By her own definition, whenever she is afraid of what's to come, she tries to lose herself in happier days, happier thoughts, in order to make it less painful. Unfortunately, it's not always successful.
She seems to have a little bit of a knack for getting into trouble, too, and can be reckless and impulsive, and mischievous as well. It almost seems as if she's not thinking ahead when making decisions, instead jumping in. This, as with most things with Vanille, is not always the case. She almost always has a reason for doing what she does- she just doesn't share it with anyone. This kind of behavior is actually a running theme with her- she's very secretive, always with a smile, often spinning lies or not telling the whole truth to run from having to face the things that she's done, or what she knows. Sometimes it's to protect the feelings of others around her, and sometimes, it's to protect herself. She has a fear of facing the consequences of her actions, though when pushed to her emotional brink, cracks and will spill what she's been keeping inside.
That is the chink in the armor- her seemingly endless sunny disposition does have moments where the true emotion, laying underneath, shows itself. While she does her best to hide it with smiles and playfulness, this is not always possible- in many cases, she finds ways to hide her tears, like running out into the middle of a rainstorm. When the emotional dam breaks, there is usually an out-pour of guilt and insecurity until she can build it back up. She's even cried herself to sleep, allowing herself to become overwhelmed with the situation and in many instances has let grief consume her, losing her will to live. When she allows herself to become overwhelmed in this way, that is when her instincts to run start kicking in. She is afraid of so much that she shuts down and doesn't face things the way she should.
More than anything, Vanille doesn't want to hurt people- anyone, but especially the people she cares about. She is afraid that her new Focus will hurt innocent people. This is what leads her to fake amnesia and claim to not remember what happened when she and Fang wake up from crystal stasis. Doing this, however, forces Fang to act out and drag more people into their situation- namely, Sazh and his son Dajh, and Lightning and her sister Serah. This sends her down another spiral of guilt, both over lying and what her little white lies had brought about. Her apologies, while sincere, are sometimes cryptic- she wants to relieve herself of the guilt, but is too afraid to come clean about what the apologies are actually for.
A bit stubborn, Vanille does not always bend easily. Usually, however, since she's almost impossible to keep up with in terms of train of thought, she can usually lead someone astay with very little persuasion. She can get sassy, too, particularly when she feels slighted by someone who insulting Gran Pulse and its people (she and Fang both have a lot of hometown pride). She can't stand to hear them called barbarians- after all, those are her people!- but, unlike Fang, she's able to hold her tongue, keeping her temper to a quiet simmer. She's very Gran Pulsian in behavior, though to the rest of the party, unwitting to her origins, it just comes off as more oddities to add to the goofball that is Vanille.
In battles, she tends to get cocky, especially towards monsters, often taunting them, and cheering whenever the team wins. This is likely because of how she was raised in Oerba- a town constantly attacked by nearby monsters. She obviously doesn't hold much remorse for striking them down, either, as she seems almost... Cheerful about it. She and Fang both hunt for food, and don't seem to see anything wrong with commandeering wild animals for transportation. They both find it strange when the animals of Cocoon seem placid when they try to catch them and eat them, as if they don't even understand that there's a threat at all.
Vanille is easily summarized in one quote- “whenever the future is clear and hurts to see, I just close my eyes and lose myself in happier days.” Her childlike naivete keeps her acting happy and upbeat to keep morale up, however, it's also a good way to cover up her insecurities and guilt, and to run away from the troubles she's created rather than facing them.
Samples;
Network Sample; ☼ One.
☼ Two.
☼ Three.
Log Sample; Wandering around on Cocoon, had been one of the loneliest things Vanille had ever had to do. Since being separated from Fang, she'd honestly had no direction, no idea where she was headed, or what she would do when she got there. She wanted, so badly, to run back to Euride Gorge and find her, but she knew that would be a bad idea, especially after what they'd done.
The news had been reporting about the incident at Euride Gorge ever since she'd returned to Bodhum; so far, details hadn't been given about what had happened, but the whole of the people on the streets were speculating, some with fear, and others with excitement. Vanille, of course, having been a part of it, knew the truth- Pulse l'Cie had attacked a Sanctum fal'Cie. And in doing so, Vanille thought, they'd changed the fate of yet another person, remembering the way that poor little boy had looked, laying prone on the bench as she'd sat over him, unable to tear her eyes off of the brand emblazoned on the back of his hand. It made her feel sick, and the world tossed around her so that she had to stop walking for a moment to catch herself, seating herself on a nearby bench. The guilt was almost too heavy for her to even move.
So far, no one had come after her, after Fang had lured the soldiers away from the two of them, but without the other girl, Vanille felt entirely lost and completely clueless as to what to do next. She couldn't return to the Vestige right now, not since it had been cordoned off by the military, and she had no idea where to go or what to do for food or shelter. She was lost and alone in the middle of enemy territory, even though the people of Cocoon didn't even seem to notice the threat they were afraid of, the one everyone was talking about from on the screens, was sitting right beside them on the benches they had stopped to rest on, clutching the seat underneath her until her knuckles had turned white.
People moved about as if nothing had happened; and to many of them, their lives were completely untouched by what had happened at Euride. But for Vanille, it was like the foundation of her world had been shaken. Every now and then, someone would pass too closely or say something a little too loudly, making her jump from her spot on the bench. She was too anxious- this place, with all its convenience and friendly people, was suddenly the loneliest and scariest place in the world. Standing suddenly, she turned, about to try to find someplace to stay for the night, when she collided with someone who had been lingering nearby.
"Ah!" She gasped, taking a few steps backward, trying to keep her balance, before looking up at who she'd run into. He didn't seem very angry about it, though he furrowed his brow at her. She must seem really weird, sitting there for such a long time and then hopping up as quickly as she had. She felt pinned to the spot until her thoughts started racing through her head: Maybe he saw me at Euride Gorge? -maybe he knows..! Panic grabbed at her chest, and she took another step backward. "I'm sorry!" She had to get out of here, before he managed to put two and two together, if he even could. Turning on heel, she started to run. She didn't know where, other than away.
Fang! Where are you..?
Name; Kyrie
Personal Journal; levelgrind
Contact; sorcerygenius(at)gmail(dot)com, sorcery genius (AIM), Kyzaku @ Plurk
Other Characters; N/A
IC Information;
Character Name; Oerba Dia Vanille
Canon; Final Fantasy XIII ☼
Canon Point; Beginning of Chapter 11.
Age; Mentally and physically 19. Chronologically 519.
House; Sigyn.
Power; Healing.
Personality; "My name is Oerba Dia Vanille. I'm a l'Cie, from Gran Pulse. And to everyone on Cocoon... Evil."
They say you can't judge a book by it's cover. This has never been more true than it is with Oerba Dia Vanille. On the outside, Vanille's upbeat nature and naivete are the cover to a book with pages filled with the hardship of living as something of perceived evil, as well as doing things she is none too proud to admit, mired in guilt and uncertainty and trying to cover up her own depression. Considering she is very much a closed book, the cover is the majority of what you see. This isn't to say her positive attitude is fake- but it is a mask, one she hides behind often in order to run away from facing things like telling people truths that could hurt them. In a way, Vanille's book is like a brightly colored tome that turns out to be the hardest read of your life.
On the surface, Vanille is the picture of sunshine: always upbeat, almost childishly bubbly, and overly friendly, and never seems to run out of energy for being downright annoyingly cheerful. There are no shortage of moments where it is completely inappropriate for her level of cheer, particularly after the entire party of Cocoon residents have been branded as Pulse l'Cie, basically enemies of themselves. A lot of her personality can come out by being downright bizarre, as if she has no idea what's going on around her. She doesn't seem to notice that things are particularly bad at any point, and just keeps skipping along, humming to herself without a single care in the world.
The truth is because a lot of this is a front. Behind the big smiles and childlike naivete is a girl who has dug herself a hole far too deep to climb her own way out of. Although she isn't decietful by nature, she has managed to spin a web of lies so thick that she's caught an entire world in its grasp, beginning with one of the people she cares about most in the world- Fang.
Fang is by far Vanille's Most Important Person. Having come from a place largely considered by her party members (and all of Coccoon) to be 'Hell on Earth,' Vanille is no stranger to survival (if the bear pelt around her waist is anything to go by- after all, it was taken from a bear she'd defeated herself). She's lived on Gran Pulse for most of her life, and after losing her family in the War of Transgression, started living in the Oerba Orphanage, where she met Oerba Yun Fang. The two became close friends, and, eventually, when Fang became a l'Cie in order to protect Gran Pulse from their enemy in the sky, Cocoon, Vanille follows, offering herself to the fal'Cie after Fang had insulted and tried to attack it. Vanille had known she would ask to become a l'Cie along with Fang since the beginning, not wanting to be left alone, but Fang still saw it as Vanille saving her life, since the priests of Anima had seen Fang's actions as punishable by death. This closeness to Fang harvested more than a bit of dependency in her, and she doesn't like to be on her own, and especially doesn't like being away from Fang, who she constantly worries about.
The two of them are nearly inseparable, until they wake up on Cocoon after a 500 year stasis after failing to properly complete their Focus (Fang tried to complete it alone in order to prevent the two of them from turning Cie'th, while Vanille was too scared). When she discovers Fang, whose brand is burnt out and inactive, has forgotten her Focus, Vanille lies and pretends she doesn't remember as well; she would rather hide the truth and turn Cie'th (as her own brand is still active) than have her friend know what she had done. Moreover, she understands the true weight of their Focus, and, after spending a while on Cocoon, realizes their 'enemy' doesn't seem to understand what they've done to Pulse, and don't even understand the thing that they fear- the threat from Pulse. The people of Cocoon are like children, being taken care of by the Fal'Cie who steal everything they need from Gran Pulse instead of forcing the people to live on their own terms.
Fang is one of the peoeple Vanille can truly be herself around, and the only person who can usually cut through all of her crap and get at the meat of the problems she may be hiding. After all, you don't grow up together without learning each other's mannerisms, or even how they think. Fang is no stranger to waking up in the middle of the night to Vanille crying in her sleep. Ever since waking up from stasis, however, Vanille had been acting strangely, and unfortunately for Fang, she never got a chance to actually figure out why before they were separated, and it was much later when she learns that Vanille had been lying to her about their Focus all along.
Vanille handles other people very differently, although it is usually in a more upbeat manner than anything. She is compassionate and cares about the people she's friends with or close to, worried about their well-being. She's a very friendly person, often encouraging others to do things they may consider hard or might not be willing to do on their own (she is not very good at practicing what she preaches), and at other times, encouraging them to face it later, to look to the bright side instead of facing their negativity, the same way she does. There are many times where it seems she's pushing people so hard that she's uncaring or insensitive, but it's because she genuinely cares about them, and she usually does this because she thinks it's for the best for them. This is quite naive, considering how much she doesn't even know some of these people. This leads her to seem disingenuous and flippant, as if she doesn't actually care about the people around her- but in reality, she's simply trying to lead them away from emotions she doesn't think they can handle. She doesn't hold much faith in the capacity of hardship of others, thinking that the people of Cocoon are like children who can't take care of themselves.
She would rather be behind someone, supporting them, than leading the troupe- because this was the role she always took with Fang, it's where she feels most comfortable. Fang makes the decisions, and though Vanille may try to fight them or argue with her, usually, the older girl ends up getting her way- though Fang's actions are usually as a direct result of trying to protect Vanille. This isn't to say she isn't a driven young woman- she's just not the leader, which is probably a good thing because of her penchant for trying to run away or lead someone astray to keep them from facing things she's afraid will hurt them. This may make it seem like as if many of Vanille's thoughts put the needs of others before her own, however, this is not entirely the case; while many of her actions are not done solely for selfish reasons, she almost always has an agenda of her own when she drags people into her messes- whether it's looking for Fang or running away from their Focus.
Because oh, does Vanille run. She's the definition of a conundrum- a brave coward. In reality, she's incredibly self-sacrificial, condemning herself to living life as a monster in order to save Cocoon from the fate of being destroyed (which was her and Fang's Focus) as well as protecting Fang from having to take part in it again, since her brand was inactive, meaning she had no Focus to complete. Her method to this, however, is by running away from everything. This action is actually indicative of her entire personality- she runs away from the truth and her fears by pushing it all in the back of her mind, pretending it doesn't exist, and putting on a happy face for those around her. By her own definition, whenever she is afraid of what's to come, she tries to lose herself in happier days, happier thoughts, in order to make it less painful. Unfortunately, it's not always successful.
She seems to have a little bit of a knack for getting into trouble, too, and can be reckless and impulsive, and mischievous as well. It almost seems as if she's not thinking ahead when making decisions, instead jumping in. This, as with most things with Vanille, is not always the case. She almost always has a reason for doing what she does- she just doesn't share it with anyone. This kind of behavior is actually a running theme with her- she's very secretive, always with a smile, often spinning lies or not telling the whole truth to run from having to face the things that she's done, or what she knows. Sometimes it's to protect the feelings of others around her, and sometimes, it's to protect herself. She has a fear of facing the consequences of her actions, though when pushed to her emotional brink, cracks and will spill what she's been keeping inside.
That is the chink in the armor- her seemingly endless sunny disposition does have moments where the true emotion, laying underneath, shows itself. While she does her best to hide it with smiles and playfulness, this is not always possible- in many cases, she finds ways to hide her tears, like running out into the middle of a rainstorm. When the emotional dam breaks, there is usually an out-pour of guilt and insecurity until she can build it back up. She's even cried herself to sleep, allowing herself to become overwhelmed with the situation and in many instances has let grief consume her, losing her will to live. When she allows herself to become overwhelmed in this way, that is when her instincts to run start kicking in. She is afraid of so much that she shuts down and doesn't face things the way she should.
More than anything, Vanille doesn't want to hurt people- anyone, but especially the people she cares about. She is afraid that her new Focus will hurt innocent people. This is what leads her to fake amnesia and claim to not remember what happened when she and Fang wake up from crystal stasis. Doing this, however, forces Fang to act out and drag more people into their situation- namely, Sazh and his son Dajh, and Lightning and her sister Serah. This sends her down another spiral of guilt, both over lying and what her little white lies had brought about. Her apologies, while sincere, are sometimes cryptic- she wants to relieve herself of the guilt, but is too afraid to come clean about what the apologies are actually for.
A bit stubborn, Vanille does not always bend easily. Usually, however, since she's almost impossible to keep up with in terms of train of thought, she can usually lead someone astay with very little persuasion. She can get sassy, too, particularly when she feels slighted by someone who insulting Gran Pulse and its people (she and Fang both have a lot of hometown pride). She can't stand to hear them called barbarians- after all, those are her people!- but, unlike Fang, she's able to hold her tongue, keeping her temper to a quiet simmer. She's very Gran Pulsian in behavior, though to the rest of the party, unwitting to her origins, it just comes off as more oddities to add to the goofball that is Vanille.
In battles, she tends to get cocky, especially towards monsters, often taunting them, and cheering whenever the team wins. This is likely because of how she was raised in Oerba- a town constantly attacked by nearby monsters. She obviously doesn't hold much remorse for striking them down, either, as she seems almost... Cheerful about it. She and Fang both hunt for food, and don't seem to see anything wrong with commandeering wild animals for transportation. They both find it strange when the animals of Cocoon seem placid when they try to catch them and eat them, as if they don't even understand that there's a threat at all.
Vanille is easily summarized in one quote- “whenever the future is clear and hurts to see, I just close my eyes and lose myself in happier days.” Her childlike naivete keeps her acting happy and upbeat to keep morale up, however, it's also a good way to cover up her insecurities and guilt, and to run away from the troubles she's created rather than facing them.
Samples;
Network Sample; ☼ One.
☼ Two.
☼ Three.
Log Sample; Wandering around on Cocoon, had been one of the loneliest things Vanille had ever had to do. Since being separated from Fang, she'd honestly had no direction, no idea where she was headed, or what she would do when she got there. She wanted, so badly, to run back to Euride Gorge and find her, but she knew that would be a bad idea, especially after what they'd done.
The news had been reporting about the incident at Euride Gorge ever since she'd returned to Bodhum; so far, details hadn't been given about what had happened, but the whole of the people on the streets were speculating, some with fear, and others with excitement. Vanille, of course, having been a part of it, knew the truth- Pulse l'Cie had attacked a Sanctum fal'Cie. And in doing so, Vanille thought, they'd changed the fate of yet another person, remembering the way that poor little boy had looked, laying prone on the bench as she'd sat over him, unable to tear her eyes off of the brand emblazoned on the back of his hand. It made her feel sick, and the world tossed around her so that she had to stop walking for a moment to catch herself, seating herself on a nearby bench. The guilt was almost too heavy for her to even move.
So far, no one had come after her, after Fang had lured the soldiers away from the two of them, but without the other girl, Vanille felt entirely lost and completely clueless as to what to do next. She couldn't return to the Vestige right now, not since it had been cordoned off by the military, and she had no idea where to go or what to do for food or shelter. She was lost and alone in the middle of enemy territory, even though the people of Cocoon didn't even seem to notice the threat they were afraid of, the one everyone was talking about from on the screens, was sitting right beside them on the benches they had stopped to rest on, clutching the seat underneath her until her knuckles had turned white.
People moved about as if nothing had happened; and to many of them, their lives were completely untouched by what had happened at Euride. But for Vanille, it was like the foundation of her world had been shaken. Every now and then, someone would pass too closely or say something a little too loudly, making her jump from her spot on the bench. She was too anxious- this place, with all its convenience and friendly people, was suddenly the loneliest and scariest place in the world. Standing suddenly, she turned, about to try to find someplace to stay for the night, when she collided with someone who had been lingering nearby.
"Ah!" She gasped, taking a few steps backward, trying to keep her balance, before looking up at who she'd run into. He didn't seem very angry about it, though he furrowed his brow at her. She must seem really weird, sitting there for such a long time and then hopping up as quickly as she had. She felt pinned to the spot until her thoughts started racing through her head: Maybe he saw me at Euride Gorge? -maybe he knows..! Panic grabbed at her chest, and she took another step backward. "I'm sorry!" She had to get out of here, before he managed to put two and two together, if he even could. Turning on heel, she started to run. She didn't know where, other than away.
Fang! Where are you..?