Stargate SG1: Beloved (Epilogue)
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Epilogue
He wasn't supposed to be there yet.
Janet had told him that she wanted him to eat, shower, and sleep - not necessarily in that order - and to stay out of her infirmary for at least eight hours. Daniel was going to be fine, she said. She was draining the blood away from his punctured lung, and even though she had him on oxygen, he was breathing just fine. The surgery to remove the fully ruptured spleen had been routine, she said. His kidney was still bleeding but wasn't bad enough to remove. The whip marks looked worse than they were, and she'd sutured them shut and bandaged them. There were more bruises around his wrists and on his face, and new bruises on his ankles, but no signs of sexual activity. He'd gotten there in time. He'd stopped it from happening again, stopped her from raping him again.
He'd only made it six hours, because he couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Daniel on that bed in the VIP room, or on the bed in Hathor's room, or being thrown like a ragdoll and slamming into a wall. And everything Janet had said, in that calm, professional voice of hers was drowned out in his head by the sound of Daniel's screams.
"Not fast enough," he muttered to himself, as he let his head fall forward. "Never fast enough."
"Yes, you were."
He lifted his head, and looked straight into wide-open blue eyes that he could have sworn were supposed to be closed.
"Hello," he said. It sounded pathetic to his ears, not even close to his usual greeting.
There were a thousand things that he needed to say, a thousand things that he needed to hear Daniel say, but starting like that, he doubted that he'd get anywhere close to any of them.
"I'm spending a lot of time in here."
Jack couldn't stop the half smile that the words caused, and he decided to play along. If Daniel was going for normal, well, he could pretend, too.
"Yeah, well, get used to it. You're going to be here for a while."
Daniel looked back at him, eyebrows up in anticipation. Jack wasn't following the script like he was supposed to, and he knew it.
"Well?" Daniel prompted.
"What, Doc didn't tell you already?"
"She probably did," Daniel said. "But I don't remember."
Jack jumped to his feet, and Daniel raised one hand from his bed weakly. "I was just coming out of anesthesia, Jack. I remember everything else that happened, just not what Dr. Fraiser said."
Jack ran one hand through his hair and stepped closer to Daniel's bed. "Okay. You remember those three broken and two cracked ribs you had when you left here?"
Daniel nodded carefully.
"Well, they're all five broken now. And two of them poked holes in your lung. But you ..." Jack let his voice trail off and wagged a finger in Daniel's face. "You already knew that, didn't you?"
"The coughing up blood thing?" Daniel asked. Jack nodded in assent. "Yeah, that's kind of what I figured was going on."
Jack shook his head at him and continued. "Okay, well another one ripped your spleen open, so whatever that is, you don't have one anymore. You do still have your kidney, so there's that. But you have a nice, long stay in that bed to look forward to."
"Sounds like." Daniel scrunched his forehead and pursed his lips. "We have any of that 'alien influence' left?"
Jack shook his head. That had been one of the first things that Janet had reported after they'd returned. Hammond's blood work had come back normal while they were gone, and his and Daniel's were both clean when they got back. "The other good news, if there is any, is that despite all your best efforts to prevent it, you're still alive."
And there it was.
"Jack …"
"No, Daniel. You listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once." He wrapped his hands around the bed rail and leaned down, so he could keep his voice low enough that no one walking in would be able to hear what he was saying. "I guess maybe you owed me one … no, I know you did. But this was it. You ever try to go on another suicide mission without me, I'll shoot you myself and save you the trouble."
"Well, in my defense, going without you wasn't exactly part of the original plan."
Jack straightened up, but kept his hands on the rail. "What was the original plan?"
"To tell you," Daniel said simply. "To explain what happened, tell you about the GDO. Make you understand that she could come back whenever she wanted, and we had to stop her."
Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So why didn't you stick to that one?"
"I didn't exactly have a choice," Daniel said. "I woke up to four Jaffa waving guns in my face … they were a little persuasive." His voice was starting to weaken, and it looked like he was starting to have trouble keeping his eyes open. "I kind of had to make it up as I went."
"So why didn't you tell me when I asked you?"
Daniel sighed and settled his head more deeply into his pillow. "Because I knew you'd try to talk me out of it."
"I'd have knocked you over the head and had Teal'c carry you out of there."
"I thought so," Daniel said with a smile. "And I'm grateful to know that I was right. But I didn't have the GDO back yet, and I hadn't actually figured out how I was going to kill her. If I'd left then, or if you'd dragged me out, the whole thing would have been pointless."
"Maybe I'd have stayed and helped you. You ever think of that?"
"Of course I did. But no way was I going to let you do that. Because I had to …"
"Save me," Jack finished, nodding his head as he turned away.
"You weren't the only one who made that promise, Jack," Daniel pointed out.
"I'm sorry, Daniel."
"For what?"
"For everything. For not protecting you. For not stopping her. For not getting there fast enough."
"But you did, Jack," Daniel insisted. "You got there fast enough. You shot the Jaffa. You stopped her."
"Not the first …"
"Just tell me she's dead," Daniel pleaded with him. "Because I can't live like this. I can't live the rest of my life terrified that every time we walk through that Gate, she's going to be waiting for me on the other side."
"I wish I could tell you for sure that she won't be," Jack said with a shrug. "The last time I saw her, she was out cold on the floor in the middle of a bunch of squabbling Jaffa, and you blew the place to hell ten minutes later. Do I know she was still in there?" He shook his head slowly, sadly. "No, I don't. But I'd put my money on it."
Daniel nodded, obviously satisfied, and his eyes started to fall closed.
"Speaking of that," Jack began. He knew it wasn't fair, and it wasn't right, but he wanted Daniel to stay awake and talk to him, just for a few more minutes. "How the hell did you blow that place up, anyway? How big was that bomb under the bed?"
"Not that big," Daniel said with a shy smile. "But maybe choosing a bedroom right above the armory wasn't the smartest thing she's ever done."
Jack snorted in amusement. "And do I know anyone who might have had something to do with talking her into picking that one?"
"Maybe."
Jack nodded in approval, then dipped his chin to his chest for only a second before looking back up again. "So, are you okay with …?"
"Um, no," Daniel answered without hesitation. "Long, long way from okay. But I'm done trying to kill myself."
"Good," Jack said with a decisive nod. "That's good."
"I'm guessing that Dr. Mackenzie is still in the picture, though."
Jack shook his head. "Not if you don't want him to be."
"What? Why?"
"I'm not gonna lie to you. You still need to talk to somebody." He huffed. "Hell, so do I. But with what happened the last time, well … let's just say that Hammond and Fraiser agree that maybe Mackenzie isn't the best person for the job. So we get to pick. As long as they have high enough clearance, we can talk to whoever we want."
"Oh." Daniel sounded both surprised and pleased at that. "Okay. I can do that."
Jack gestured back and forth between them. "And, you and me …? The thing … me seeing …?"
"Wouldn't have been my first choice," Daniel said. "But believe it or not, it was better than being in there alone."
"So, we're … we're okay then? You're all right with having me around?"
Daniel smiled. "Depends. You planning to slam my head into the wall again anytime soon?"
Jack smiled in return. "Depends. You planning to mind-whammy me into doing what you want me to again?"
"Yeah," Daniel said slowly. "About that promise I made you make …"
"Colonel O'Neill, what are you doing here? I distinctly remember telling you to stay out of this infirmary until morning. Are you in here bothering my patient?"
Jack and Daniel shrugged at each other. The rest of that conversation would just have to wait. But it would happen, just as soon as they were both up to it.
"Just on my way out, Doc," Jack lied. He leaned back down over the rail one last time. "I won't be far, Daniel, just down the hall. You need me, you need anything, just tell the doc. I'll be here."
"I know you will."
"You go on back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
Daniel relaxed his muscles, and his head sank further into his pillow. He took a long, deep breath and closed his eyes
"You promise?"
"I promise."
~ fin ~
Epilogue
He wasn't supposed to be there yet.
Janet had told him that she wanted him to eat, shower, and sleep - not necessarily in that order - and to stay out of her infirmary for at least eight hours. Daniel was going to be fine, she said. She was draining the blood away from his punctured lung, and even though she had him on oxygen, he was breathing just fine. The surgery to remove the fully ruptured spleen had been routine, she said. His kidney was still bleeding but wasn't bad enough to remove. The whip marks looked worse than they were, and she'd sutured them shut and bandaged them. There were more bruises around his wrists and on his face, and new bruises on his ankles, but no signs of sexual activity. He'd gotten there in time. He'd stopped it from happening again, stopped her from raping him again.
He'd only made it six hours, because he couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Daniel on that bed in the VIP room, or on the bed in Hathor's room, or being thrown like a ragdoll and slamming into a wall. And everything Janet had said, in that calm, professional voice of hers was drowned out in his head by the sound of Daniel's screams.
"Not fast enough," he muttered to himself, as he let his head fall forward. "Never fast enough."
"Yes, you were."
He lifted his head, and looked straight into wide-open blue eyes that he could have sworn were supposed to be closed.
"Hello," he said. It sounded pathetic to his ears, not even close to his usual greeting.
There were a thousand things that he needed to say, a thousand things that he needed to hear Daniel say, but starting like that, he doubted that he'd get anywhere close to any of them.
"I'm spending a lot of time in here."
Jack couldn't stop the half smile that the words caused, and he decided to play along. If Daniel was going for normal, well, he could pretend, too.
"Yeah, well, get used to it. You're going to be here for a while."
Daniel looked back at him, eyebrows up in anticipation. Jack wasn't following the script like he was supposed to, and he knew it.
"Well?" Daniel prompted.
"What, Doc didn't tell you already?"
"She probably did," Daniel said. "But I don't remember."
Jack jumped to his feet, and Daniel raised one hand from his bed weakly. "I was just coming out of anesthesia, Jack. I remember everything else that happened, just not what Dr. Fraiser said."
Jack ran one hand through his hair and stepped closer to Daniel's bed. "Okay. You remember those three broken and two cracked ribs you had when you left here?"
Daniel nodded carefully.
"Well, they're all five broken now. And two of them poked holes in your lung. But you ..." Jack let his voice trail off and wagged a finger in Daniel's face. "You already knew that, didn't you?"
"The coughing up blood thing?" Daniel asked. Jack nodded in assent. "Yeah, that's kind of what I figured was going on."
Jack shook his head at him and continued. "Okay, well another one ripped your spleen open, so whatever that is, you don't have one anymore. You do still have your kidney, so there's that. But you have a nice, long stay in that bed to look forward to."
"Sounds like." Daniel scrunched his forehead and pursed his lips. "We have any of that 'alien influence' left?"
Jack shook his head. That had been one of the first things that Janet had reported after they'd returned. Hammond's blood work had come back normal while they were gone, and his and Daniel's were both clean when they got back. "The other good news, if there is any, is that despite all your best efforts to prevent it, you're still alive."
And there it was.
"Jack …"
"No, Daniel. You listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once." He wrapped his hands around the bed rail and leaned down, so he could keep his voice low enough that no one walking in would be able to hear what he was saying. "I guess maybe you owed me one … no, I know you did. But this was it. You ever try to go on another suicide mission without me, I'll shoot you myself and save you the trouble."
"Well, in my defense, going without you wasn't exactly part of the original plan."
Jack straightened up, but kept his hands on the rail. "What was the original plan?"
"To tell you," Daniel said simply. "To explain what happened, tell you about the GDO. Make you understand that she could come back whenever she wanted, and we had to stop her."
Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So why didn't you stick to that one?"
"I didn't exactly have a choice," Daniel said. "I woke up to four Jaffa waving guns in my face … they were a little persuasive." His voice was starting to weaken, and it looked like he was starting to have trouble keeping his eyes open. "I kind of had to make it up as I went."
"So why didn't you tell me when I asked you?"
Daniel sighed and settled his head more deeply into his pillow. "Because I knew you'd try to talk me out of it."
"I'd have knocked you over the head and had Teal'c carry you out of there."
"I thought so," Daniel said with a smile. "And I'm grateful to know that I was right. But I didn't have the GDO back yet, and I hadn't actually figured out how I was going to kill her. If I'd left then, or if you'd dragged me out, the whole thing would have been pointless."
"Maybe I'd have stayed and helped you. You ever think of that?"
"Of course I did. But no way was I going to let you do that. Because I had to …"
"Save me," Jack finished, nodding his head as he turned away.
"You weren't the only one who made that promise, Jack," Daniel pointed out.
"I'm sorry, Daniel."
"For what?"
"For everything. For not protecting you. For not stopping her. For not getting there fast enough."
"But you did, Jack," Daniel insisted. "You got there fast enough. You shot the Jaffa. You stopped her."
"Not the first …"
"Just tell me she's dead," Daniel pleaded with him. "Because I can't live like this. I can't live the rest of my life terrified that every time we walk through that Gate, she's going to be waiting for me on the other side."
"I wish I could tell you for sure that she won't be," Jack said with a shrug. "The last time I saw her, she was out cold on the floor in the middle of a bunch of squabbling Jaffa, and you blew the place to hell ten minutes later. Do I know she was still in there?" He shook his head slowly, sadly. "No, I don't. But I'd put my money on it."
Daniel nodded, obviously satisfied, and his eyes started to fall closed.
"Speaking of that," Jack began. He knew it wasn't fair, and it wasn't right, but he wanted Daniel to stay awake and talk to him, just for a few more minutes. "How the hell did you blow that place up, anyway? How big was that bomb under the bed?"
"Not that big," Daniel said with a shy smile. "But maybe choosing a bedroom right above the armory wasn't the smartest thing she's ever done."
Jack snorted in amusement. "And do I know anyone who might have had something to do with talking her into picking that one?"
"Maybe."
Jack nodded in approval, then dipped his chin to his chest for only a second before looking back up again. "So, are you okay with …?"
"Um, no," Daniel answered without hesitation. "Long, long way from okay. But I'm done trying to kill myself."
"Good," Jack said with a decisive nod. "That's good."
"I'm guessing that Dr. Mackenzie is still in the picture, though."
Jack shook his head. "Not if you don't want him to be."
"What? Why?"
"I'm not gonna lie to you. You still need to talk to somebody." He huffed. "Hell, so do I. But with what happened the last time, well … let's just say that Hammond and Fraiser agree that maybe Mackenzie isn't the best person for the job. So we get to pick. As long as they have high enough clearance, we can talk to whoever we want."
"Oh." Daniel sounded both surprised and pleased at that. "Okay. I can do that."
Jack gestured back and forth between them. "And, you and me …? The thing … me seeing …?"
"Wouldn't have been my first choice," Daniel said. "But believe it or not, it was better than being in there alone."
"So, we're … we're okay then? You're all right with having me around?"
Daniel smiled. "Depends. You planning to slam my head into the wall again anytime soon?"
Jack smiled in return. "Depends. You planning to mind-whammy me into doing what you want me to again?"
"Yeah," Daniel said slowly. "About that promise I made you make …"
"Colonel O'Neill, what are you doing here? I distinctly remember telling you to stay out of this infirmary until morning. Are you in here bothering my patient?"
Jack and Daniel shrugged at each other. The rest of that conversation would just have to wait. But it would happen, just as soon as they were both up to it.
"Just on my way out, Doc," Jack lied. He leaned back down over the rail one last time. "I won't be far, Daniel, just down the hall. You need me, you need anything, just tell the doc. I'll be here."
"I know you will."
"You go on back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
Daniel relaxed his muscles, and his head sank further into his pillow. He took a long, deep breath and closed his eyes
"You promise?"
"I promise."
~ fin ~