ER: As Good As it Gets (1/1)
FANDOM: ER
TITLE: As Good As It Gets
GENRE: Gen
CATEGORY: Friendship, Episode Related
RATING: PG-13
SEASON: Eight
WORD COUNT: 4831
SUMMARY: A series of events draw Carter and Abby closer to each other, and to someone neither ever imagined they'd need.
DISCLAIMER: "ER" is a production of Constant c Productions and Amblin Television in association with Warner Bros. Television. All characters, situations, and logos © Constant c, Amblin Entertainment, Warner Bros., or Michael Crichton. No challenge to or infringement of their status is intended. This original work of fan fiction is written for entertainment purposes only, and I am receiving no compensation for it.
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual locations and events, is purely coincidental.
WARNINGS: none
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This was intended to be the prologue of a much longer story - an AU version of Season Eight that would have seen Carter and Abby together much sooner than they were in canon. Over half of it is written, and has been for 8 years. Unfortunately, as is often the case, once the Carby ship was made canon, it went in a direction that I didn't like, and I lost interest. I might pick it up again some day and finish it, but as it stands now, this section can be read as a one-shot episode tag for Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic.
The day had started badly. It had gotten worse
First, she had decided that she just had to pick her things up from Luka's apartment. Never mind that her shift was starting in less than an hour and she was in a rush to begin with. Never mind that the breakup had been less than hospitable. Never mind that she had a million other things that she needed to be doing. She had to get her sweater.
Then she had almost forgotten her coat.
And then she'd broken the fish tank.
She hadn't done it on purpose. She'd convinced herself of that. It had been a complete and total accident. Her coat had gotten snagged as she pulled on it, and the coat rack had ended up falling into the tank, cracking the glass. Water had already been dripping onto the floor before she left.
Then she'd left her key behind.
Then she'd gotten Carter involved.
She sighed and leaned back on the couch, pulling her feet up under her as she lit a cigarette. That had to be the worst part of it. He hadn't wanted to do it; that much was certain. He didn't want to get involved in her relationship with Luka. But she'd smiled at him and played helpless, because she'd known he would help her then.
Still, she had to smile at the memories: the jokes, the laughter, the look on his face when the police knocked on the door. His reaction to being arrested certainly wasn't what she'd expected it to be, and part of her didn't believe him when he said he'd never been arrested before. He was just too calm. There was no way he could have teased her like that if he'd never been arrested before.
And then Luka had gotten home.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch. 'Stupid, Abby. Just plain stupid.'
The look in Luka's eyes had bordered on murderous. And she was certain that had he come home to find her sitting alone in that squad car, he would have been teasing her in Carter's stead. It was Carter that he'd glared at that way. And it was Carter, she was sure, who was going to have to pay for what they'd done.
For what she'd made him do.
She just hoped that Carter knew enough to stay away from Luka for a while.
He'd had better days.
Stepping on the glass and making himself look like an idiot in front of Gamma hadn't been enough. No, he had to go and get himself arrested for breaking and entering. Luka hadn't pressed charges, and he was glad for that. But it wasn't how he'd been planning to wrap up his day with Abby.
He sat on the steps in front of the house, with his eyes closed, smiling.
She was free.
She and Luka had broken up.
He'd had a hard time expressing sympathy over it, and he felt horrible about his initial reaction. He'd wanted it, no, wanted her, for so long. And now he had his chance. He just had to play things right.
So when she'd asked him to help her replace the fish tank, he'd had to put effort into seeming to be against it. In truth, his heart had been pounding so loudly from the first moment she'd mentioned the breakup that he was sure she'd see through his act. But she hadn't. She was just too sweet and innocent, and she did need his help.
And he'd been all too glad to give it.
He believed that he could have had a chance with her once before, but he'd lost her to Luka by a matter of minutes. He was not going to let that happen again. If he did everything just perfectly, he would never lose her again.
He had to make sure that everything was in place, and that no one would be there to interfere. Of course, there was only one person who would. Fortunately, that meant he only had to deal with that one person.
Unfortunately, that person was Luka.
Why had he ever let this day end up the way it had?
He should have been sitting in his apartment with Abby by his side. But instead, he was sitting on his couch, staring at the television, thinking of her. And him.
Abby and Carter.
Carter and Abby.
They'd been together. They'd been in his home together.
Part of him wanted to wish them well. The other part of him just wanted to get his hands around Carter's neck. It was completely irrational. After all, it wasn't exactly Carter's fault that Abby was completely in love with him. Well, at least no more his fault than being alive was.
And so Luka sat alone. Wondering where she was and what she was doing. Were they together? Or was she sitting somewhere thinking of him?
When he heard the light knock on his front door, he thought he had his answer.
Luka opened the door wide, a huge smile on his face. His happiness quickly faded when he saw who was standing on the other side. "Carter."
"Hello, Luka," Carter responded, taking a step forward. "I um...I wanted to talk to you."
Luka's grin had completely vanished, and an angry expression took its place. "It can't wait till morning?"
"No. No, it can't. Look, I wanted to explain to you, in person, about this afternoon. You see..."
"There's nothing to explain," Luka said quickly, pushing the door closed.
"No, Luka, wait!" Carter jumped forward and pressed on the door, holding it open. "I just... I don't want you being angry with her. About this." Carter tried to smile, but the look on Luka's face soon deflated his attempt. "I mean, when you think about it, it's kinda funny."
"No, Carter, it isn't funny. Now will you please leave so I can go to bed?"
"Now wait, Luka. This was an accident. She didn't mean it..."
"You think I'm angry about the fish?"
Carter paused and looked at Luka in confusion. "Well, yeah. You mean you're not?"
"No. I'm not. I'm angry, yes, but not about the fish. I couldn't care less about the fish."
Carter smiled slightly. "So what is it then? What are you angry about?"
"Go away, Carter." Luka tried to close the door again.
"Luka, come on. Tell me. Are you angry with Abby or not?"
"Angry? Yes. At Abby? No. Now go away."
"At me then?" Carter asked, taking another step forward.
Luka felt his heart speeding up in his chest and his face beginning to burn. Damn this annoying little boy. "Carter, get out of my door," he growled.
"No, Luka. If you're angry with me I think I deserve to know..."
Before Carter could finish, Luka's fist slammed into the side of his face, knocking him to the floor. Carter's hand flew to his eye, and he stared up at Luka in shock.
Luka closed his eyes and stepped forward, pulling his door shut behind him. "Damn. Carter, I'm sorry. Here, let me help you." He reached out his hand to help Carter to his feet.
Carter shook his head quickly and backed away, pushing himself along the floor. "No," he began, swallowing hard. "Don't touch me."
"Carter, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just..."
"Just... stay away from me, okay? Just... stay there."
Luka stepped forward again, ignoring Carter's protests. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"
Carter almost laughed at the ridiculousness of the question. "Of course you did! That's the whole reason you hit me!"
"I'm sorry. Just..." Luka stepped forward, and Carter backed away yet again. "Look, I'm not going to do it again, all right? Just let me look at it."
"No!"
Luka ignored him once more, and knelt on the floor beside him. "It's already swelling. Carter, let me see it."
"I said don't touch me! Back off... OW! Damn it!"
Carter smacked Luka's hand away.
Luka sighed in frustration. "Well if you don't want me to look at it, fine. But you probably should go in and have it X-rayed."
"Is that your professional opinion?" Carter asked sourly.
"Yes."
"As a doctor, or as the perpetrator?"
Luka closed his eyes for a second, and then opened them again. "I deserve that."
"Damn right you do."
Luka stood up and looked up at the ceiling. He shrugged, and hesitantly reached out to Carter. When Carter didn't move to accept his offered hand, Luka just looked down at him. After a few seconds, he reached out again.
Carter looked up at the gesture, considering how he should react to it. He glanced up at Luka's face once more, and then grasped his forearm. Luka helped him to his feet, looking closely at the young man's rapidly swelling left eye as he did so.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You didn't deserve that."
"I came here to apologize to you."
"I know."
Neither of them said a word. They simply stood there in the hallway watching each other. Carter expected another attack at any time and was doing his best to be prepared. Luka, on the other hand, was more worried about Carter's eye, which was rapidly swelling shut.
"Carter, you need to go to the ER." When Carter didn't move, Luka motioned toward his door. "If you're not going to, at least come in and ice that eye."
"I don't think I need any more of your 'help', Luka. One black eye a day is enough for me." Carter turned and started to walk away. The world began to swirl around him as he did, and he swayed on his feet.
Luka ran forward and caught him before he hit the floor. "I think it's more than a black eye."
"Really?" Carter asked, trying his best to sound bitter. "And what makes you think that?" He blinked a couple of times to clear his thoughts. He realized that the only thing keeping him on his feet was Luka's hands under his arms, and he pulled away. "Let go of me! Whoa..." He started to reel once again, reaching out in a vain effort to grab the wall.
"Carter!" Luka grabbed him again, but this time Carter didn't fight him. He even leaned against Luka for support, his shoulders slumping in resignation. "All right," Luka said. "That's it. Let's go."
Luka started down the hall, half-dragging half-carrying Carter with him.
"Go where?"
"You need to go to the hospital, Carter. And you're in no condition to drive." Luka sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. "I just have to figure out how I'm going to explain this to Kerry."
"What the hell happened?" Kerry demanded, looking away from Carter just long enough to glare at Luka.
"Kerry, could you please stop yelling?" Carter asked weakly. "My head hurts."
"I'm sure it does," she shot back.
"Don't snap at him like that, Kerry," Luka said heatedly. "It's not his fault."
"Well whose fault is it then, Luka? Yours?"
Luka took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "I..."
"No. It's not his fault."
Luka looked down at Carter in surprise. The younger man glanced back up at him, his one open eye betraying how tired he was. There was no way Carter would be able to get them through this on his own. He was having a hard enough time just staying awake. Luka nodded briefly in his direction. They were in this together, so they'd better make it good.
Kerry didn't notice the silent exchange, but she did notice the weak grin that Luka flashed in her direction.
Kerry did not return the smile, but instead returned to shining her penlight in Carter's eyes. "Haleh, call Radiology. He needs a CT." To Carter, she said, "You've got a concussion, a rather nasty bruise on the side of your face, and your eye is swollen shut. How can that be no one's fault?"
"I didn't say it was no one's," he answered quietly. "Just not Luka's."
"Then I'll ask again. Whose fault is it?"
Luka finished running through the story in his head. He'd hoped he'd have more time to come up with it all. There were still a few details missing.
"Kerry, it was an accident. We were just going out for a couple of beers..."
"Beer?" Kerry demanded of Carter. "You were going out for beer?"
"No. Luka was going out for beer. I was going out for coffee." He glanced up at Luka again, this time in anger and desperation.
"And?"
Carter sighed. He could tell how frustrated Kerry was getting, and he didn't really blame her. Of all the things Luka could have said they were doing together, he had to pick barhopping.
"And we didn't even make it into the bar," Luka said quickly, confused by the reaction the mention of beer had received. "We were walking through the door, and there was this man... a large man, very big... and he was dragging this little drunk man out..."
"That would be the bouncer, Luka," Carter interjected tiredly.
"Yes, yes, the bouncer. The bouncer was dragging this drunk man out of the bar, and they tripped. The little drunk man fell on me, but the big man, the bouncer, he fell on Carter. And he knocked him over, and he hit his face on the door."
Kerry stepped back from the gurney and crossed her arms across her chest. She just stood there, looking at them each in turn. Carter was sitting up against the raised head of the gurney, and he looked as sincere as anyone could in his situation. Luka was standing right beside him, one hand on his arm almost protectively, smiling at her weakly. They looked exactly like two friends who had run into the wrong person at exactly the wrong time.
And they were lying through their teeth.
"Must have been one hell of a big bouncer," she said finally.
Luka let out an inaudible sigh. "Oh yes, quite big."
"Huge," Carter added.
"Large, large man."
"Gigantic even."
"All right, that's enough. I get the picture." Kerry reached out and snapped up the rail on the side of the gurney. Luka did the same on the opposite side. "Do you want something for the pain?" she asked.
"No," Carter answered.
"Are you sure? We don't have to use a narcotic."
"Yes, Kerry, I'm sure. I don't want anything."
Kerry sighed. "All right, John. Just try to get some rest, all right? I'll be back in to get you when Radiology is ready for you."
"I can take him," Luka offered.
"No, Luka. I think you've helped him enough." Kerry turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, motioning for Haleh to do the same. The nurse followed her, but stopped in the door just long enough to flash a smile back at the two men who had been left behind.
The second the door closed, Luka turned to Carter. "Do you think she knows?"
"Oh, yeah," Carter answered weakly. He laid his head back and closed his eye. "She knows."
"Then why did she say..."
"She knows what didn't happen, Luka. She doesn't know what did. Let's keep it that way, all right? I don't want to explain this to her any more than you do."
They were silent for a few minutes, until Luka leaned forward against the rail and said, "It was a pretty good story though, no?"
"No, Luka. It was a lousy story. It's the same lousy story that we hear from everyone who doesn't want to admit that someone's been beating on them." Carter opened his eye and glanced up. He saw the smile that crossed Luka's face and almost smiled back, but he was too tired to do even that. "And the next time I put you in charge of lying, come up with something better than taking an addict to a bar, will you?"
"Oh, God," Luka whispered. "I forgot about that."
"Yeah. I noticed." Carter's head tilted to the right a tiny bit as he started to fall asleep.
"Well, what else was I going to say?" Luka asked quietly. He kept his tone light, so as not to wake Carter fully. "That I punched you because you killed my fish?"
"Didn't kill him," Carter mumbled. "Just pronounced him."
Luka chuckled lightly as he watched Carter drift off to sleep. Once he was certain that Carter was sleeping soundly, Luka reached out with his right hand and gently inspected the damage he had done.
"Gonna live, Doc?" Carter asked drowsily.
Luka smiled. He should have guessed Carter would be a light sleeper. After a few more gentle prods, Luka straightened and patted Carter on the arm. "You'll be fine. Go back to sleep. I'm going to go get some coffee."
"... time is it?"
Luka glanced up at the clock. "Almost six. You just sleep. I'll be back soon."
"... kay." Carter's body relaxed even more as he fell into a deep sleep.
Luka walked out of the room, glancing back over his shoulder a few times as he left. Carter was going to be fine. But that didn't stop Luka from feeling like an ass because he was laying there in the first place.
Luka walked down the hallway toward the elevator. He ran his fingers through his hair absently and nodded at the doctors and nurses he passed along the way. At some, he smiled. Others he acknowledged with a small wave. As the door opened and he stepped on, he turned the night's events over in his mind and tried to figure out what he could have done to prevent them.
He shouldn't have hit Carter.
It had been a stupid thing to do, and it hadn't made him feel any better about things. In truth, it only made him feel worse. He had let his temper get the upper hand, and Carter was paying the price for it. He'd given him a concussion with one punch. Luka didn't even want to think about what might have happened if he hadn't stopped himself when he did.
The elevator came to a stop, and Luka walked out through the open door. Memories of the drifter who had attacked him and Abby on their first date flashed through his mind, and he shivered. He saw the man lying on the gurney, blood gushing from his head, his life seeping from him despite the best efforts of the ER staff. He'd killed that man with his bare hands.
Suddenly the vision changed and Luka found himself staring down at another battered, bloody, unconscious man. So many things were exactly the same, but the face was different.
It was Carter.
He saw Carter lying on that gurney, blood covering his face, matting his hair, soaking into the sheets. He saw Mark and Kerry, Susan and Abby, all of them hovering around the broken body before them, talking quickly, ministering to his injuries while trying to understand what had happened. And Luka knew, as he watched the scene playing in his mind, that he was somehow responsible for it.
Luka shuddered in reaction to the vivid images in his mind. They were ridiculous. Carter was fine. The side of his face was bruised and swollen, and he had a black eye and a mild concussion. He was sleeping. He was fine. Luka shook his head quickly to clear it as he walked into the cafeteria.
He glanced around the room as he made his way to the coffee machine. There were a few people eating breakfast, carrying on normal conversations. None of them were having visions of beaten co-workers. Luka sighed as he dropped his money into the machine and pressed the buttons.
"Luka? What are you doing here? I thought you were off today."
Luka spun, surprised to hear her voice behind him. "Oh... Abby... hi."
She smiled at him weakly, casting her eyes to the floor. "Look, Luka, about yesterday..."
"No!" he snapped. When she looked up at him in surprise, he softened his voice. "It's all right. I really don't think I need any more apologies for yesterday."
Abby tilted her head to the side in confusion. "All right," she said, watching him bend down to retrieve the steaming cup from the vending machine. "So what are you doing here? You're off today, right?"
Luka took a quick sip of the coffee, trying to remember every detail of the story he'd told Kerry. "Yes. Actually, I'm here with Carter..."
"John? What's wrong? What happened?"
Luka heard the sudden panic in her voice, and noted her use of Carter's first name. He could see the fear in her large brown eyes, and he placed his hand on her arm softly. "He's all right, Abby. It's just a concussion."
"A concussion? What happened? Luka..." Abby's eyes narrowed as she looked at him in suspicion, and she lowered her voice. "Luka, what did you do to him?"
"I didn't do anything!" he protested feebly. He had done something. He had done everything. He was the only one to blame. "We went to a bar last night..."
"A bar?"
"He was just going to have some coffee. Abby, calm down. He's all right."
Abby didn't believe him, and her eyes showed that. "Where is he?"
"When I left, he was sleeping in Exam Two."
Abby didn't need to hear any more. She spun around and bolted from the cafeteria, running toward the elevators as quickly as she could. A million thoughts flooded through her mind at once. She wanted to know what had happened, how it had happened, when it had happened. She wanted to know where he'd been, and why he'd been with Luka, of all people. Mostly, she wanted to know that he really was all right.
She bounced on her toes as she waited for the elevator to arrive. When it did, she ran on before the door was even open fully. She began punching the button for the ground floor impatiently. The few seconds it took to descend floors were torture for her, and she burst forth from the door the instant it was open far enough for her to fit through.
She stopped outside the door and looked in at him through the glass. He was just where Luka had said he'd be, sleeping on the gurney in Exam Two. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully, which amazed her when she saw the dark purple bruise that covered his eye and part of the left side of his face. Whatever had happened to him, it had to have been rather traumatic to leave a mark like that.
Abby drew a deep breath and pushed the door open. She walked to Carter's side soundlessly and gripped the rail with her left hand. She reached up with her right to touch him, but hesitated. She tilted her head to look more closely at Carter's face. Satisfied that she wouldn't wake him, she gently placed her hand against his cheek.
Carter drew a quick breath and opened his good eye. He blinked a few times, confusion evident in his expression. When he managed to focus on her face, he smiled. "Hey, Abby."
"Hey yourself," she returned, smiling. "Looks like you had a rough night."
"Don't ask," he answered, and he meant it. He really didn't want to try and remember Luka's convoluted story. Abby hadn't moved her hand from his cheek, and her eyes showed a deep concern that her smile didn't hide. "What? Do I look that bad?"
"You look like hell," she answered quietly.
"Mmmmm, thanks." He started to chuckle, but stopped almost immediately. "Ouch."
Abby pulled her hand away from him instantly. "Have they given you anything for pain?" She didn't know which concerned her more; if they had, or if they hadn't.
He shook his head slightly. "Nope. Kerry wanted to, but I told her no."
"You can take some Tylenol, you know. Or some Motrin maybe."
"No," he said, shifting position on the gurney until he was sitting up straight again. "It's really not so bad. I can live with it." He looked into her eyes, and saw something new there. Concern, maybe fear... and disappointment. She was disappointed in him. "You talked to Luka."
Abby tried to smile, but failed. "Yeah. I ran into him at the coffee machine." She looked away from him, trying to think of a way to phrase her next question. "What the hell were you thinking?" she finally asked, looking back at him again. "Going to a bar? And with Luka?"
Carter sighed. "I wasn't," he said simply. "Neither one of us was. We just... it was a stupid mistake. An accident."
"So what, are you two like, friends now?" Her tone was teasing, but Carter heard the confusion underneath.
He couldn't help but laugh. "Me and Luka? Friends?"
He thought about that for a moment. He'd sought Luka out to apologize, and Luka had decked him. Then Luka had brought him to the hospital, ignoring the possible repercussions to himself should anyone find out what had happened. They'd managed to stick together through it all, despite Luka's horrid attempt at covering the truth. They were obviously still looking out for each other, in keeping that truth from Abby. And they hadn't had a serious argument since Luka's apartment.
"Well, we're not enemies. I'll give us that much."
"God save us all from male bonding," Kerry put in from the door.
Carter and Abby turned to look at her, surprised by her sudden appearance. She walked forward, followed by Malik. "Just do me a favor, all right? The next time you two decide to bond, don't end up on a gurney because of it?"
Carter nodded. "I'll do my best."
"Radiology's ready for you," Kerry continued, kicking the wheel lock and pushing the gurney forward. "Let's get you cleared so you can go home and get some sleep. Abby, don't you need to clock in?"
"Um... yeah," Abby answered. She managed to pull her eyes away from Carter long enough to look at Kerry. "I'm sorry. I'll go do it now."
"Malik, have Chuny help you take him down, all right? I'll be right there."
"Okay, Dr. Weaver," Malik answered, pushing Carter's gurney out into the hallway.
Kerry turned to Abby. "What did they tell you?" she asked.
"Something about a bar. I didn't get any further than that."
"Carter fell, apparently," Kerry explained sarcastically. "A bouncer knocked him into a door."
Abby covered her mouth with her hand to keep from giggling. "You're kidding. That's what they said?"
Kerry nodded, her expression tight.
"What do you think really happened?" Abby asked.
Kerry sighed and softened, almost smiling. "I don't think we want to know," she answered. "I'm sure they've got their reasons for keeping quiet. Let's just be grateful it wasn't worse." She turned and walked toward the door, turning back to Abby just before she went through it. "After you clock in, you can meet us in Radiology."
Abby nodded, watching as Kerry left the room and walked down the hallway. She looked up at the ceiling, shaking her head. Things had definitely changed between the two men in her life, and she didn't know quite what to make of it. Things had been hard enough to deal with when they'd been bitter enemies.
She had absolutely no idea how the world would handle them being friends.
TITLE: As Good As It Gets
GENRE: Gen
CATEGORY: Friendship, Episode Related
RATING: PG-13
SEASON: Eight
WORD COUNT: 4831
SUMMARY: A series of events draw Carter and Abby closer to each other, and to someone neither ever imagined they'd need.
DISCLAIMER: "ER" is a production of Constant c Productions and Amblin Television in association with Warner Bros. Television. All characters, situations, and logos © Constant c, Amblin Entertainment, Warner Bros., or Michael Crichton. No challenge to or infringement of their status is intended. This original work of fan fiction is written for entertainment purposes only, and I am receiving no compensation for it.
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual locations and events, is purely coincidental.
WARNINGS: none
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This was intended to be the prologue of a much longer story - an AU version of Season Eight that would have seen Carter and Abby together much sooner than they were in canon. Over half of it is written, and has been for 8 years. Unfortunately, as is often the case, once the Carby ship was made canon, it went in a direction that I didn't like, and I lost interest. I might pick it up again some day and finish it, but as it stands now, this section can be read as a one-shot episode tag for Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic.
The day had started badly. It had gotten worse
First, she had decided that she just had to pick her things up from Luka's apartment. Never mind that her shift was starting in less than an hour and she was in a rush to begin with. Never mind that the breakup had been less than hospitable. Never mind that she had a million other things that she needed to be doing. She had to get her sweater.
Then she had almost forgotten her coat.
And then she'd broken the fish tank.
She hadn't done it on purpose. She'd convinced herself of that. It had been a complete and total accident. Her coat had gotten snagged as she pulled on it, and the coat rack had ended up falling into the tank, cracking the glass. Water had already been dripping onto the floor before she left.
Then she'd left her key behind.
Then she'd gotten Carter involved.
She sighed and leaned back on the couch, pulling her feet up under her as she lit a cigarette. That had to be the worst part of it. He hadn't wanted to do it; that much was certain. He didn't want to get involved in her relationship with Luka. But she'd smiled at him and played helpless, because she'd known he would help her then.
Still, she had to smile at the memories: the jokes, the laughter, the look on his face when the police knocked on the door. His reaction to being arrested certainly wasn't what she'd expected it to be, and part of her didn't believe him when he said he'd never been arrested before. He was just too calm. There was no way he could have teased her like that if he'd never been arrested before.
And then Luka had gotten home.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch. 'Stupid, Abby. Just plain stupid.'
The look in Luka's eyes had bordered on murderous. And she was certain that had he come home to find her sitting alone in that squad car, he would have been teasing her in Carter's stead. It was Carter that he'd glared at that way. And it was Carter, she was sure, who was going to have to pay for what they'd done.
For what she'd made him do.
She just hoped that Carter knew enough to stay away from Luka for a while.
He'd had better days.
Stepping on the glass and making himself look like an idiot in front of Gamma hadn't been enough. No, he had to go and get himself arrested for breaking and entering. Luka hadn't pressed charges, and he was glad for that. But it wasn't how he'd been planning to wrap up his day with Abby.
He sat on the steps in front of the house, with his eyes closed, smiling.
She was free.
She and Luka had broken up.
He'd had a hard time expressing sympathy over it, and he felt horrible about his initial reaction. He'd wanted it, no, wanted her, for so long. And now he had his chance. He just had to play things right.
So when she'd asked him to help her replace the fish tank, he'd had to put effort into seeming to be against it. In truth, his heart had been pounding so loudly from the first moment she'd mentioned the breakup that he was sure she'd see through his act. But she hadn't. She was just too sweet and innocent, and she did need his help.
And he'd been all too glad to give it.
He believed that he could have had a chance with her once before, but he'd lost her to Luka by a matter of minutes. He was not going to let that happen again. If he did everything just perfectly, he would never lose her again.
He had to make sure that everything was in place, and that no one would be there to interfere. Of course, there was only one person who would. Fortunately, that meant he only had to deal with that one person.
Unfortunately, that person was Luka.
Why had he ever let this day end up the way it had?
He should have been sitting in his apartment with Abby by his side. But instead, he was sitting on his couch, staring at the television, thinking of her. And him.
Abby and Carter.
Carter and Abby.
They'd been together. They'd been in his home together.
Part of him wanted to wish them well. The other part of him just wanted to get his hands around Carter's neck. It was completely irrational. After all, it wasn't exactly Carter's fault that Abby was completely in love with him. Well, at least no more his fault than being alive was.
And so Luka sat alone. Wondering where she was and what she was doing. Were they together? Or was she sitting somewhere thinking of him?
When he heard the light knock on his front door, he thought he had his answer.
Luka opened the door wide, a huge smile on his face. His happiness quickly faded when he saw who was standing on the other side. "Carter."
"Hello, Luka," Carter responded, taking a step forward. "I um...I wanted to talk to you."
Luka's grin had completely vanished, and an angry expression took its place. "It can't wait till morning?"
"No. No, it can't. Look, I wanted to explain to you, in person, about this afternoon. You see..."
"There's nothing to explain," Luka said quickly, pushing the door closed.
"No, Luka, wait!" Carter jumped forward and pressed on the door, holding it open. "I just... I don't want you being angry with her. About this." Carter tried to smile, but the look on Luka's face soon deflated his attempt. "I mean, when you think about it, it's kinda funny."
"No, Carter, it isn't funny. Now will you please leave so I can go to bed?"
"Now wait, Luka. This was an accident. She didn't mean it..."
"You think I'm angry about the fish?"
Carter paused and looked at Luka in confusion. "Well, yeah. You mean you're not?"
"No. I'm not. I'm angry, yes, but not about the fish. I couldn't care less about the fish."
Carter smiled slightly. "So what is it then? What are you angry about?"
"Go away, Carter." Luka tried to close the door again.
"Luka, come on. Tell me. Are you angry with Abby or not?"
"Angry? Yes. At Abby? No. Now go away."
"At me then?" Carter asked, taking another step forward.
Luka felt his heart speeding up in his chest and his face beginning to burn. Damn this annoying little boy. "Carter, get out of my door," he growled.
"No, Luka. If you're angry with me I think I deserve to know..."
Before Carter could finish, Luka's fist slammed into the side of his face, knocking him to the floor. Carter's hand flew to his eye, and he stared up at Luka in shock.
Luka closed his eyes and stepped forward, pulling his door shut behind him. "Damn. Carter, I'm sorry. Here, let me help you." He reached out his hand to help Carter to his feet.
Carter shook his head quickly and backed away, pushing himself along the floor. "No," he began, swallowing hard. "Don't touch me."
"Carter, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just..."
"Just... stay away from me, okay? Just... stay there."
Luka stepped forward again, ignoring Carter's protests. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"
Carter almost laughed at the ridiculousness of the question. "Of course you did! That's the whole reason you hit me!"
"I'm sorry. Just..." Luka stepped forward, and Carter backed away yet again. "Look, I'm not going to do it again, all right? Just let me look at it."
"No!"
Luka ignored him once more, and knelt on the floor beside him. "It's already swelling. Carter, let me see it."
"I said don't touch me! Back off... OW! Damn it!"
Carter smacked Luka's hand away.
Luka sighed in frustration. "Well if you don't want me to look at it, fine. But you probably should go in and have it X-rayed."
"Is that your professional opinion?" Carter asked sourly.
"Yes."
"As a doctor, or as the perpetrator?"
Luka closed his eyes for a second, and then opened them again. "I deserve that."
"Damn right you do."
Luka stood up and looked up at the ceiling. He shrugged, and hesitantly reached out to Carter. When Carter didn't move to accept his offered hand, Luka just looked down at him. After a few seconds, he reached out again.
Carter looked up at the gesture, considering how he should react to it. He glanced up at Luka's face once more, and then grasped his forearm. Luka helped him to his feet, looking closely at the young man's rapidly swelling left eye as he did so.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You didn't deserve that."
"I came here to apologize to you."
"I know."
Neither of them said a word. They simply stood there in the hallway watching each other. Carter expected another attack at any time and was doing his best to be prepared. Luka, on the other hand, was more worried about Carter's eye, which was rapidly swelling shut.
"Carter, you need to go to the ER." When Carter didn't move, Luka motioned toward his door. "If you're not going to, at least come in and ice that eye."
"I don't think I need any more of your 'help', Luka. One black eye a day is enough for me." Carter turned and started to walk away. The world began to swirl around him as he did, and he swayed on his feet.
Luka ran forward and caught him before he hit the floor. "I think it's more than a black eye."
"Really?" Carter asked, trying his best to sound bitter. "And what makes you think that?" He blinked a couple of times to clear his thoughts. He realized that the only thing keeping him on his feet was Luka's hands under his arms, and he pulled away. "Let go of me! Whoa..." He started to reel once again, reaching out in a vain effort to grab the wall.
"Carter!" Luka grabbed him again, but this time Carter didn't fight him. He even leaned against Luka for support, his shoulders slumping in resignation. "All right," Luka said. "That's it. Let's go."
Luka started down the hall, half-dragging half-carrying Carter with him.
"Go where?"
"You need to go to the hospital, Carter. And you're in no condition to drive." Luka sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. "I just have to figure out how I'm going to explain this to Kerry."
"What the hell happened?" Kerry demanded, looking away from Carter just long enough to glare at Luka.
"Kerry, could you please stop yelling?" Carter asked weakly. "My head hurts."
"I'm sure it does," she shot back.
"Don't snap at him like that, Kerry," Luka said heatedly. "It's not his fault."
"Well whose fault is it then, Luka? Yours?"
Luka took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "I..."
"No. It's not his fault."
Luka looked down at Carter in surprise. The younger man glanced back up at him, his one open eye betraying how tired he was. There was no way Carter would be able to get them through this on his own. He was having a hard enough time just staying awake. Luka nodded briefly in his direction. They were in this together, so they'd better make it good.
Kerry didn't notice the silent exchange, but she did notice the weak grin that Luka flashed in her direction.
Kerry did not return the smile, but instead returned to shining her penlight in Carter's eyes. "Haleh, call Radiology. He needs a CT." To Carter, she said, "You've got a concussion, a rather nasty bruise on the side of your face, and your eye is swollen shut. How can that be no one's fault?"
"I didn't say it was no one's," he answered quietly. "Just not Luka's."
"Then I'll ask again. Whose fault is it?"
Luka finished running through the story in his head. He'd hoped he'd have more time to come up with it all. There were still a few details missing.
"Kerry, it was an accident. We were just going out for a couple of beers..."
"Beer?" Kerry demanded of Carter. "You were going out for beer?"
"No. Luka was going out for beer. I was going out for coffee." He glanced up at Luka again, this time in anger and desperation.
"And?"
Carter sighed. He could tell how frustrated Kerry was getting, and he didn't really blame her. Of all the things Luka could have said they were doing together, he had to pick barhopping.
"And we didn't even make it into the bar," Luka said quickly, confused by the reaction the mention of beer had received. "We were walking through the door, and there was this man... a large man, very big... and he was dragging this little drunk man out..."
"That would be the bouncer, Luka," Carter interjected tiredly.
"Yes, yes, the bouncer. The bouncer was dragging this drunk man out of the bar, and they tripped. The little drunk man fell on me, but the big man, the bouncer, he fell on Carter. And he knocked him over, and he hit his face on the door."
Kerry stepped back from the gurney and crossed her arms across her chest. She just stood there, looking at them each in turn. Carter was sitting up against the raised head of the gurney, and he looked as sincere as anyone could in his situation. Luka was standing right beside him, one hand on his arm almost protectively, smiling at her weakly. They looked exactly like two friends who had run into the wrong person at exactly the wrong time.
And they were lying through their teeth.
"Must have been one hell of a big bouncer," she said finally.
Luka let out an inaudible sigh. "Oh yes, quite big."
"Huge," Carter added.
"Large, large man."
"Gigantic even."
"All right, that's enough. I get the picture." Kerry reached out and snapped up the rail on the side of the gurney. Luka did the same on the opposite side. "Do you want something for the pain?" she asked.
"No," Carter answered.
"Are you sure? We don't have to use a narcotic."
"Yes, Kerry, I'm sure. I don't want anything."
Kerry sighed. "All right, John. Just try to get some rest, all right? I'll be back in to get you when Radiology is ready for you."
"I can take him," Luka offered.
"No, Luka. I think you've helped him enough." Kerry turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, motioning for Haleh to do the same. The nurse followed her, but stopped in the door just long enough to flash a smile back at the two men who had been left behind.
The second the door closed, Luka turned to Carter. "Do you think she knows?"
"Oh, yeah," Carter answered weakly. He laid his head back and closed his eye. "She knows."
"Then why did she say..."
"She knows what didn't happen, Luka. She doesn't know what did. Let's keep it that way, all right? I don't want to explain this to her any more than you do."
They were silent for a few minutes, until Luka leaned forward against the rail and said, "It was a pretty good story though, no?"
"No, Luka. It was a lousy story. It's the same lousy story that we hear from everyone who doesn't want to admit that someone's been beating on them." Carter opened his eye and glanced up. He saw the smile that crossed Luka's face and almost smiled back, but he was too tired to do even that. "And the next time I put you in charge of lying, come up with something better than taking an addict to a bar, will you?"
"Oh, God," Luka whispered. "I forgot about that."
"Yeah. I noticed." Carter's head tilted to the right a tiny bit as he started to fall asleep.
"Well, what else was I going to say?" Luka asked quietly. He kept his tone light, so as not to wake Carter fully. "That I punched you because you killed my fish?"
"Didn't kill him," Carter mumbled. "Just pronounced him."
Luka chuckled lightly as he watched Carter drift off to sleep. Once he was certain that Carter was sleeping soundly, Luka reached out with his right hand and gently inspected the damage he had done.
"Gonna live, Doc?" Carter asked drowsily.
Luka smiled. He should have guessed Carter would be a light sleeper. After a few more gentle prods, Luka straightened and patted Carter on the arm. "You'll be fine. Go back to sleep. I'm going to go get some coffee."
"... time is it?"
Luka glanced up at the clock. "Almost six. You just sleep. I'll be back soon."
"... kay." Carter's body relaxed even more as he fell into a deep sleep.
Luka walked out of the room, glancing back over his shoulder a few times as he left. Carter was going to be fine. But that didn't stop Luka from feeling like an ass because he was laying there in the first place.
Luka walked down the hallway toward the elevator. He ran his fingers through his hair absently and nodded at the doctors and nurses he passed along the way. At some, he smiled. Others he acknowledged with a small wave. As the door opened and he stepped on, he turned the night's events over in his mind and tried to figure out what he could have done to prevent them.
He shouldn't have hit Carter.
It had been a stupid thing to do, and it hadn't made him feel any better about things. In truth, it only made him feel worse. He had let his temper get the upper hand, and Carter was paying the price for it. He'd given him a concussion with one punch. Luka didn't even want to think about what might have happened if he hadn't stopped himself when he did.
The elevator came to a stop, and Luka walked out through the open door. Memories of the drifter who had attacked him and Abby on their first date flashed through his mind, and he shivered. He saw the man lying on the gurney, blood gushing from his head, his life seeping from him despite the best efforts of the ER staff. He'd killed that man with his bare hands.
Suddenly the vision changed and Luka found himself staring down at another battered, bloody, unconscious man. So many things were exactly the same, but the face was different.
It was Carter.
He saw Carter lying on that gurney, blood covering his face, matting his hair, soaking into the sheets. He saw Mark and Kerry, Susan and Abby, all of them hovering around the broken body before them, talking quickly, ministering to his injuries while trying to understand what had happened. And Luka knew, as he watched the scene playing in his mind, that he was somehow responsible for it.
Luka shuddered in reaction to the vivid images in his mind. They were ridiculous. Carter was fine. The side of his face was bruised and swollen, and he had a black eye and a mild concussion. He was sleeping. He was fine. Luka shook his head quickly to clear it as he walked into the cafeteria.
He glanced around the room as he made his way to the coffee machine. There were a few people eating breakfast, carrying on normal conversations. None of them were having visions of beaten co-workers. Luka sighed as he dropped his money into the machine and pressed the buttons.
"Luka? What are you doing here? I thought you were off today."
Luka spun, surprised to hear her voice behind him. "Oh... Abby... hi."
She smiled at him weakly, casting her eyes to the floor. "Look, Luka, about yesterday..."
"No!" he snapped. When she looked up at him in surprise, he softened his voice. "It's all right. I really don't think I need any more apologies for yesterday."
Abby tilted her head to the side in confusion. "All right," she said, watching him bend down to retrieve the steaming cup from the vending machine. "So what are you doing here? You're off today, right?"
Luka took a quick sip of the coffee, trying to remember every detail of the story he'd told Kerry. "Yes. Actually, I'm here with Carter..."
"John? What's wrong? What happened?"
Luka heard the sudden panic in her voice, and noted her use of Carter's first name. He could see the fear in her large brown eyes, and he placed his hand on her arm softly. "He's all right, Abby. It's just a concussion."
"A concussion? What happened? Luka..." Abby's eyes narrowed as she looked at him in suspicion, and she lowered her voice. "Luka, what did you do to him?"
"I didn't do anything!" he protested feebly. He had done something. He had done everything. He was the only one to blame. "We went to a bar last night..."
"A bar?"
"He was just going to have some coffee. Abby, calm down. He's all right."
Abby didn't believe him, and her eyes showed that. "Where is he?"
"When I left, he was sleeping in Exam Two."
Abby didn't need to hear any more. She spun around and bolted from the cafeteria, running toward the elevators as quickly as she could. A million thoughts flooded through her mind at once. She wanted to know what had happened, how it had happened, when it had happened. She wanted to know where he'd been, and why he'd been with Luka, of all people. Mostly, she wanted to know that he really was all right.
She bounced on her toes as she waited for the elevator to arrive. When it did, she ran on before the door was even open fully. She began punching the button for the ground floor impatiently. The few seconds it took to descend floors were torture for her, and she burst forth from the door the instant it was open far enough for her to fit through.
She stopped outside the door and looked in at him through the glass. He was just where Luka had said he'd be, sleeping on the gurney in Exam Two. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully, which amazed her when she saw the dark purple bruise that covered his eye and part of the left side of his face. Whatever had happened to him, it had to have been rather traumatic to leave a mark like that.
Abby drew a deep breath and pushed the door open. She walked to Carter's side soundlessly and gripped the rail with her left hand. She reached up with her right to touch him, but hesitated. She tilted her head to look more closely at Carter's face. Satisfied that she wouldn't wake him, she gently placed her hand against his cheek.
Carter drew a quick breath and opened his good eye. He blinked a few times, confusion evident in his expression. When he managed to focus on her face, he smiled. "Hey, Abby."
"Hey yourself," she returned, smiling. "Looks like you had a rough night."
"Don't ask," he answered, and he meant it. He really didn't want to try and remember Luka's convoluted story. Abby hadn't moved her hand from his cheek, and her eyes showed a deep concern that her smile didn't hide. "What? Do I look that bad?"
"You look like hell," she answered quietly.
"Mmmmm, thanks." He started to chuckle, but stopped almost immediately. "Ouch."
Abby pulled her hand away from him instantly. "Have they given you anything for pain?" She didn't know which concerned her more; if they had, or if they hadn't.
He shook his head slightly. "Nope. Kerry wanted to, but I told her no."
"You can take some Tylenol, you know. Or some Motrin maybe."
"No," he said, shifting position on the gurney until he was sitting up straight again. "It's really not so bad. I can live with it." He looked into her eyes, and saw something new there. Concern, maybe fear... and disappointment. She was disappointed in him. "You talked to Luka."
Abby tried to smile, but failed. "Yeah. I ran into him at the coffee machine." She looked away from him, trying to think of a way to phrase her next question. "What the hell were you thinking?" she finally asked, looking back at him again. "Going to a bar? And with Luka?"
Carter sighed. "I wasn't," he said simply. "Neither one of us was. We just... it was a stupid mistake. An accident."
"So what, are you two like, friends now?" Her tone was teasing, but Carter heard the confusion underneath.
He couldn't help but laugh. "Me and Luka? Friends?"
He thought about that for a moment. He'd sought Luka out to apologize, and Luka had decked him. Then Luka had brought him to the hospital, ignoring the possible repercussions to himself should anyone find out what had happened. They'd managed to stick together through it all, despite Luka's horrid attempt at covering the truth. They were obviously still looking out for each other, in keeping that truth from Abby. And they hadn't had a serious argument since Luka's apartment.
"Well, we're not enemies. I'll give us that much."
"God save us all from male bonding," Kerry put in from the door.
Carter and Abby turned to look at her, surprised by her sudden appearance. She walked forward, followed by Malik. "Just do me a favor, all right? The next time you two decide to bond, don't end up on a gurney because of it?"
Carter nodded. "I'll do my best."
"Radiology's ready for you," Kerry continued, kicking the wheel lock and pushing the gurney forward. "Let's get you cleared so you can go home and get some sleep. Abby, don't you need to clock in?"
"Um... yeah," Abby answered. She managed to pull her eyes away from Carter long enough to look at Kerry. "I'm sorry. I'll go do it now."
"Malik, have Chuny help you take him down, all right? I'll be right there."
"Okay, Dr. Weaver," Malik answered, pushing Carter's gurney out into the hallway.
Kerry turned to Abby. "What did they tell you?" she asked.
"Something about a bar. I didn't get any further than that."
"Carter fell, apparently," Kerry explained sarcastically. "A bouncer knocked him into a door."
Abby covered her mouth with her hand to keep from giggling. "You're kidding. That's what they said?"
Kerry nodded, her expression tight.
"What do you think really happened?" Abby asked.
Kerry sighed and softened, almost smiling. "I don't think we want to know," she answered. "I'm sure they've got their reasons for keeping quiet. Let's just be grateful it wasn't worse." She turned and walked toward the door, turning back to Abby just before she went through it. "After you clock in, you can meet us in Radiology."
Abby nodded, watching as Kerry left the room and walked down the hallway. She looked up at the ceiling, shaking her head. Things had definitely changed between the two men in her life, and she didn't know quite what to make of it. Things had been hard enough to deal with when they'd been bitter enemies.
She had absolutely no idea how the world would handle them being friends.