[2013 review] Films
END OF YEAR ROUNDUP
LAST ONE! This one's about films. Here's a list of every film I watched in 2013.
FILMS OF 2013
1. Django Unchained
Quintessential Tarantino gory violence, coupled with his darkest, greatest, most important story to date. Christoph Waltz is amazing, Leonardo DiCaprio is terrifying.
2. Behind the Candelabra
I wrote more about this here. Stunning performances from Michael Douglas and Matt Damon along with a fantastic script and beautiful direction make for an exceptional biopic.
3. Gravity
While not as accurate as, say, Apollo 13, the most breathtaking space photography in all cinema, anchored by a career-best performance from Sandra Bullock.
4. Blue is the Warmest Colour
I did not expect one of my favourite films of the year to be a 3-hour lesbian love story with a 10 minute, explicit, unsimulated sex scene. But these things suprise you, and Blue is the Warmest Colour is a triumph.
5. Argo
Ben Affleck proves his worth as a director once again with this excellent, if bizarre, true story. Co-stars Bryan Cranston, so is amazing by default.
6. Life of Pi
The only film of the year with visuals to rival Gravity. Star Suraj Sharma was robbed of an Oscar nomination.
7. Thor: The Dark World
One of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s best, and I do not say that lightly. Hilarious, exciting, lovely use of pretty bits of London. Christopher Eccleston was wasted, but the dynamic between Thor and Loki is at it’s most interesting.
8. The Place Beyond the Pines
Interlinking stories actually working flawlessly in an ultimately tragic tale. Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper and Eva Mendez are all brilliant.
9. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
An improvement on the first film in almost every way, tense and exciting even for those who have read the books. Jennifer Lawrence effortlessly embodies Katniss’ complex psyche, and the supporting cast are all excellent. (Although Phillip Seymour Hoffman didn’t do much with the enigmatic Plutarch Heavensbee.)
10. This Is the End
What should have been a horrible, pretentious vanity project is actually the best comedy of the year. For once, Hollywood is EXPLICITLY not shown is a positive light. Excellent use of music too, expecially in the climax and the final scene.
11. Rush
Chris Hemsworth proves there’s more to him than taking off his shirt and yelling at Loki. He’s wonderful as F1 driver James Hunt, but it is Daniel Bruhl’s Niki Landa who steals the show.
12. The Way Way Back
Written by Community’s Jim Rash, this story of a teenager’s isolation and gradually finding acceptance (despite his mum’s boyfriend being a dick) is warm and engaging, especially in the case of Sam Rockwell’s water park owner, Owen.
13. Filth
A brilliant performance from James McAvoy leads one of the best, most surreal British films in years.
14. Much Ado About Nothing
I love Shakespeare, of course I’m going to love the Whedonverse doing Shakespeare! Especially given how much I love this play. Now I just need Nathan Fillion and Tom Lenk to do a buddy cop film together.
15. Iron Man 3
I recognise Iron Man 3 has some flaws (Rebecca Hall had nothing to do, for example) but it gave me the one thing I desperately wanted: an exploration of Tony Stark’s anxiety following The Avengers. And while some thought Pepper was hard done by in this film, I did love that Tony could just come right out and tell her he was a mess instead of lying to her, as he would have done in the past. (I’m also one of the rare comics readers who loved the Mandarin twist.)
16. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
NOT ENOUGH ELVES. NOT ENOUGH THRANDUIL! That is my only real complaint, because The Desolation of Smaug was otherwise a vast improvement on the first film. Good call on inventing the character of Tauriel, too. She was AWESOME.
17. Elysium
I really love Matt Damon. I also really love District 9, so the prospect of Elysium very much appealed to me. I thought it was stunning, with the only letdown being that we didn’t actually get to know enough about Elysium itself.
18. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa
A TV-to-film transition that was actually brilliant! Hilarious, mental, exciting. Everything a big screen outing for Patridge should be.
19. The World’s End
While not as funny as other entries into the Cornetto trilogy, The World’s End has a surprisingly dark central story, and Simon Pegg sold Gary King’s desperation so well. I was very surprised. The soundtrack seems to be comprised entirely of my iTunes too.
20. Frances Ha
I wasn’t really feeling this until the Modern Love sequence, then everything was just joyous. It basically sums up everything about being a 20-something in 80 minutes.
21. Pacific Rim
BIG DUMB ROBOTS VS MONSTERS MOVIE STARRING IDRIS ELBA AND CHARLIE DAY? FUCK YES! Sure, Charlie Hunnam’s accent was atrocious, and it would have been way more interesting if Mako Mori was the main character given how awesome her backstory was, but it was still so much fun!
22. Only God Forgives
Polarising to critics, but I adored it. The set design was utterly gorgeous, Gosling was too, Kristin Scott Thomas was terrifying, and the Angel of Vengeance was 2013′s most foreboding cinematic presence.
23. Don Jon
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s debut feature is funny, filthy, and ultimately affecting, with fantastic performances from Scarlett Johansson and Julianne Moore.
24. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
Nowhere near as brilliant or funny as the original, but still full of great moments, almost all involving Brick Tamland. And almost-naked Paul Rudd.
25. Silver Linings Playbook
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence give wonderful performances, but I wasn’t entirely gripped by the storyline.
26. Les Miserables
A perfectly fine adaptation, with flashes of brilliance (I Dreamed A Dream, One Day More), but filled with bizarre and jarring filming choices (stop with the close-ups!) and it’s very obvious who are the Broadway actors and who aren’t, making people like Eddie Redmayne and Amanda Seyfried look weak in comparison to Aaron Tveit and Samantha Barks. But I don’t care what people say, I loved Russell Crowe as Javert. Mostly because he was hilarious.
27. Wreck-It Ralph
A clever, original Disney animation, with excellent voice acting and a lovely helping of nostalgia. Only so low because I only saw it yesterday and haven’t really had the chance to think about it.
28. Compliance
I don’t know if it’s because I followed the actual case when it happened, but I just felt too uncomfortable watching this. One thing I did love was how well they humanised the restaurant manager.
29. The Bling Ring
I didn’t really enjoy The Bling Ring, and I’m not sure why because it’s a perfectly fine film. It just didn’t grab me.
30. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Yeah, it’s crap nonsence, but I heartily enjoyed it. First, for Jeremy Renner in a long leather coat, secondly, because ripping it to pieces with my dad was one of the best parts of my year.
31. Star Trek Into Darkness
I despised this film. I’ll try not to go on too much of a rant why by listing bullet points.
- It’s just a less good version of Wrath of Khan, watch that instead.
- Whitewashing Khan. You could have quite easily still had Benedict Cumberbatch, if he’d been another of Khan’s people, and we got a tantalising glimpse of Khan in one of the other torpedoes. It would have been a better story too.
- Was Sulu even in this film? The only man of colour is the only one who does fuck all.
- Women. This is the big one. I am disgusted by the treatment of women in this film. Alice Eve gets a pointless underwear scene because JJ Abrams said “Zoe did it last time, it’s your turn.” Uhura, a brilliant, intelligent, badass woman under Nichelle Nichols, is reduced to nagging Spock about their relationship and one scene where she speaks Klingon.
- It was just badly written. “Oh, we’ve painted ourselves into a corner, let’s just kill off Captain Pike to get out of it!” “Oh, let’s just recycle another scene from Wrath of Khan!” FUCK OFF.
- I have no issue with the cast, who are all very good at selling the drivel they’ve been written, and deserve better.
32. Man of Steel
The only film I hated more than Star Trek Into Darkness, which was weird, as the only thing I liked about Man of Steel was Lois Lane, a woman. Superman does not work as a gritty reboot. Superman does not kill people. These two factors alone made me hate it, but sadly, there’s even more wrong than this.
Honourable Mention: Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
Birdemic 2 is not going in the main list, because even if it is objectively the worst film here, no other film has brought me just as much joy and I kinda want to put it as number one for that. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so it gets it’s own section instead.
Films I missed in 2013: Prisoners, Kill Your Darlings, Captain Phillips, Frozen, Zero Dark Thirty, Lincoln, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Short Term 12, Robot & Frank, Flight, Filth, Trance, Byzantium, About Time, A Field In England, Philomena, The Impossible, Before Midnight, All Is Lost, Fast & Furious 6, In A World…, The Great Gatsby, Monsters University, The Conjuring, Compliance, Now You See Me, The Great Beauty
LAST ONE! This one's about films. Here's a list of every film I watched in 2013.
FILMS OF 2013
1. Django Unchained
Quintessential Tarantino gory violence, coupled with his darkest, greatest, most important story to date. Christoph Waltz is amazing, Leonardo DiCaprio is terrifying.
2. Behind the Candelabra
I wrote more about this here. Stunning performances from Michael Douglas and Matt Damon along with a fantastic script and beautiful direction make for an exceptional biopic.
3. Gravity
While not as accurate as, say, Apollo 13, the most breathtaking space photography in all cinema, anchored by a career-best performance from Sandra Bullock.
4. Blue is the Warmest Colour
I did not expect one of my favourite films of the year to be a 3-hour lesbian love story with a 10 minute, explicit, unsimulated sex scene. But these things suprise you, and Blue is the Warmest Colour is a triumph.
5. Argo
Ben Affleck proves his worth as a director once again with this excellent, if bizarre, true story. Co-stars Bryan Cranston, so is amazing by default.
6. Life of Pi
The only film of the year with visuals to rival Gravity. Star Suraj Sharma was robbed of an Oscar nomination.
7. Thor: The Dark World
One of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s best, and I do not say that lightly. Hilarious, exciting, lovely use of pretty bits of London. Christopher Eccleston was wasted, but the dynamic between Thor and Loki is at it’s most interesting.
8. The Place Beyond the Pines
Interlinking stories actually working flawlessly in an ultimately tragic tale. Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper and Eva Mendez are all brilliant.
9. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
An improvement on the first film in almost every way, tense and exciting even for those who have read the books. Jennifer Lawrence effortlessly embodies Katniss’ complex psyche, and the supporting cast are all excellent. (Although Phillip Seymour Hoffman didn’t do much with the enigmatic Plutarch Heavensbee.)
10. This Is the End
What should have been a horrible, pretentious vanity project is actually the best comedy of the year. For once, Hollywood is EXPLICITLY not shown is a positive light. Excellent use of music too, expecially in the climax and the final scene.
11. Rush
Chris Hemsworth proves there’s more to him than taking off his shirt and yelling at Loki. He’s wonderful as F1 driver James Hunt, but it is Daniel Bruhl’s Niki Landa who steals the show.
12. The Way Way Back
Written by Community’s Jim Rash, this story of a teenager’s isolation and gradually finding acceptance (despite his mum’s boyfriend being a dick) is warm and engaging, especially in the case of Sam Rockwell’s water park owner, Owen.
13. Filth
A brilliant performance from James McAvoy leads one of the best, most surreal British films in years.
14. Much Ado About Nothing
I love Shakespeare, of course I’m going to love the Whedonverse doing Shakespeare! Especially given how much I love this play. Now I just need Nathan Fillion and Tom Lenk to do a buddy cop film together.
15. Iron Man 3
I recognise Iron Man 3 has some flaws (Rebecca Hall had nothing to do, for example) but it gave me the one thing I desperately wanted: an exploration of Tony Stark’s anxiety following The Avengers. And while some thought Pepper was hard done by in this film, I did love that Tony could just come right out and tell her he was a mess instead of lying to her, as he would have done in the past. (I’m also one of the rare comics readers who loved the Mandarin twist.)
16. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
NOT ENOUGH ELVES. NOT ENOUGH THRANDUIL! That is my only real complaint, because The Desolation of Smaug was otherwise a vast improvement on the first film. Good call on inventing the character of Tauriel, too. She was AWESOME.
17. Elysium
I really love Matt Damon. I also really love District 9, so the prospect of Elysium very much appealed to me. I thought it was stunning, with the only letdown being that we didn’t actually get to know enough about Elysium itself.
18. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa
A TV-to-film transition that was actually brilliant! Hilarious, mental, exciting. Everything a big screen outing for Patridge should be.
19. The World’s End
While not as funny as other entries into the Cornetto trilogy, The World’s End has a surprisingly dark central story, and Simon Pegg sold Gary King’s desperation so well. I was very surprised. The soundtrack seems to be comprised entirely of my iTunes too.
20. Frances Ha
I wasn’t really feeling this until the Modern Love sequence, then everything was just joyous. It basically sums up everything about being a 20-something in 80 minutes.
21. Pacific Rim
BIG DUMB ROBOTS VS MONSTERS MOVIE STARRING IDRIS ELBA AND CHARLIE DAY? FUCK YES! Sure, Charlie Hunnam’s accent was atrocious, and it would have been way more interesting if Mako Mori was the main character given how awesome her backstory was, but it was still so much fun!
22. Only God Forgives
Polarising to critics, but I adored it. The set design was utterly gorgeous, Gosling was too, Kristin Scott Thomas was terrifying, and the Angel of Vengeance was 2013′s most foreboding cinematic presence.
23. Don Jon
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s debut feature is funny, filthy, and ultimately affecting, with fantastic performances from Scarlett Johansson and Julianne Moore.
24. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
Nowhere near as brilliant or funny as the original, but still full of great moments, almost all involving Brick Tamland. And almost-naked Paul Rudd.
25. Silver Linings Playbook
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence give wonderful performances, but I wasn’t entirely gripped by the storyline.
26. Les Miserables
A perfectly fine adaptation, with flashes of brilliance (I Dreamed A Dream, One Day More), but filled with bizarre and jarring filming choices (stop with the close-ups!) and it’s very obvious who are the Broadway actors and who aren’t, making people like Eddie Redmayne and Amanda Seyfried look weak in comparison to Aaron Tveit and Samantha Barks. But I don’t care what people say, I loved Russell Crowe as Javert. Mostly because he was hilarious.
27. Wreck-It Ralph
A clever, original Disney animation, with excellent voice acting and a lovely helping of nostalgia. Only so low because I only saw it yesterday and haven’t really had the chance to think about it.
28. Compliance
I don’t know if it’s because I followed the actual case when it happened, but I just felt too uncomfortable watching this. One thing I did love was how well they humanised the restaurant manager.
29. The Bling Ring
I didn’t really enjoy The Bling Ring, and I’m not sure why because it’s a perfectly fine film. It just didn’t grab me.
30. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Yeah, it’s crap nonsence, but I heartily enjoyed it. First, for Jeremy Renner in a long leather coat, secondly, because ripping it to pieces with my dad was one of the best parts of my year.
31. Star Trek Into Darkness
I despised this film. I’ll try not to go on too much of a rant why by listing bullet points.
- It’s just a less good version of Wrath of Khan, watch that instead.
- Whitewashing Khan. You could have quite easily still had Benedict Cumberbatch, if he’d been another of Khan’s people, and we got a tantalising glimpse of Khan in one of the other torpedoes. It would have been a better story too.
- Was Sulu even in this film? The only man of colour is the only one who does fuck all.
- Women. This is the big one. I am disgusted by the treatment of women in this film. Alice Eve gets a pointless underwear scene because JJ Abrams said “Zoe did it last time, it’s your turn.” Uhura, a brilliant, intelligent, badass woman under Nichelle Nichols, is reduced to nagging Spock about their relationship and one scene where she speaks Klingon.
- It was just badly written. “Oh, we’ve painted ourselves into a corner, let’s just kill off Captain Pike to get out of it!” “Oh, let’s just recycle another scene from Wrath of Khan!” FUCK OFF.
- I have no issue with the cast, who are all very good at selling the drivel they’ve been written, and deserve better.
32. Man of Steel
The only film I hated more than Star Trek Into Darkness, which was weird, as the only thing I liked about Man of Steel was Lois Lane, a woman. Superman does not work as a gritty reboot. Superman does not kill people. These two factors alone made me hate it, but sadly, there’s even more wrong than this.
Honourable Mention: Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
Birdemic 2 is not going in the main list, because even if it is objectively the worst film here, no other film has brought me just as much joy and I kinda want to put it as number one for that. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so it gets it’s own section instead.
Films I missed in 2013: Prisoners, Kill Your Darlings, Captain Phillips, Frozen, Zero Dark Thirty, Lincoln, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Short Term 12, Robot & Frank, Flight, Filth, Trance, Byzantium, About Time, A Field In England, Philomena, The Impossible, Before Midnight, All Is Lost, Fast & Furious 6, In A World…, The Great Gatsby, Monsters University, The Conjuring, Compliance, Now You See Me, The Great Beauty