Fic: Wasting Away Chapter 4 (Part A)
Title: Wasting Away
Author: Brokaw22
Disclaimer: The norms
Rating: T
Story Synopsis: Leo knows that there's something going on with Raph. He just never expected it to be something of this magnitude.
Previous Chapters: Chapter One (Part A) Chapter One (Part B) Chapter Two Chapter Three
It’s been a week, and Raph has steadily been getting worse. Leo doesn’t know what to do other than let his brother rest as much as he needs and encourage him to eat when he’s awake. He’s even thinner now, even with Mikey almost constantly trying to entice him with his various favorite foods. He’s also weaker. Now that he doesn’t even have the energy to train like he used to, it’s only more apparent how much muscle mass Raph’s lost. Donnie still hasn’t made any headway in his search for a cure -- or even a definitive answer as to what’s happening to their brother -- and with each passing day a growing hopelessness and despair descends upon the lair. Leo doesn’t know what to do and he desperately wants to call his father. However, he refuses to go against Raph’s wishes, especially since he equally doesn’t want to do anything to compromise Master Splinter’s recovery.
Still, Leo can’t seem to find anything to abate his worry. He does his best to keep busy and distract himself while Raph is sleeping, but he can’t really focus enough to meditate and any other kind of distraction is fleeting. The moment his brother awakens, it becomes exponentially harder to keep his concern at bay. However, Leo knows he has to shove all of his negative feelings away for his brothers. He knows that seeing exactly how troubled he is will only make Donnie feel as though he needs to work harder, which is just plain ridiculous, because his brother is working as hard as he possibly can. Not to mention, if they see how badly this is affecting him, then Mikey will worry even more, and Raph will feel even worse about this whole thing than he already does.
Leo sighs heavily to himself as he makes another cup of tea. It won’t calm him any…it never does anymore, but it gives him something to do and something to hold onto. He feels like everything is spinning out of control and he doesn’t know how to stop it. His thoughts are abruptly interrupted when he feels something bump into his shell and turns around to find Mikey holding up a rather large sheet of what appears to be canvas. Leo isn’t sure if he should be more worried about where the canvas came from and what Mikey intends to do with it or the fact that at some point Mikey came into the kitchen carrying said canvas and Leo didn’t even notice. “What are you doing?”
Mikey grins up at him, but the smile doesn’t really reach his eyes. Leo raises an eyebrow ridge and patiently waits for an answer. After a long moment, Mikey rubs the back of his head self-consciously and starts fidgeting. “Well, Raph has been spending an awful lot of time in his room lately. I know his walls are covered in posters and stuff, but everything in there is rather dark and gloomy, so I was thinking that I would paint him something a little more cheery and colorful. But then I thought that he might not like it, so I figured I would just hang it near the turnstiles, but then I realized that it might encourage him to leave the lair. So then, I thought I would put it by his training dummy, but then I figured that it might remind him of training, and, since he can’t do that anymore, that might upset him. So, I considered putting it in here, but it probably will just be in the way, and…and I think this a stupid idea, so I’ll just go back to my room now.”
Leo grabs a hold of Mikey’s arm before he can dash out of the room. “I don’t think it’s a stupid idea. In fact, I think Raph would really like one of your paintings in his room. So, what did you paint?”
Mikey turns over the canvas and holds it up in front of Leo. Mikey always has been extremely talented in regards to drawing and painting, and Leo smiles, knowing that his little brother’s artistic abilities have only grown over time. The picture depicts the whole family, Splinter included, out in forest with the sun shining high in the sky over the trees and a stream cutting across the background. “It’s really great, Mikey. You even added in the farmhouse in the distance there.”
Mikey beams at the praise. “Yeah, bro, I was going to add some wildlife, but I didn’t want to clutter it, ya know?”
Leo nods and he starts walking Mikey out of the room. “Well, come on, let’s go see if Raph is awake and you can show it to him.”
Mikey glances up at him uncertainly, but keeping pace with him, all the same. “Do you think he’ll like it?”
Leo smiles reassuringly as he rubs Mikey’s head affectionately. “You know, Raph. He’ll pretend like he doesn’t, but the first question of out his mouth will be where are you putting it, and then he’ll tell you exactly where you should put it.”
Mikey grins brightly as they make their way towards Raph’s room. “Yeah, he will.”
When they open the door, Raph is just starting to sit up, clearly still exhausted. “Hey, do you mind if we come in? Mikey brought something for you?”
Raph groans as he sits up all of the way and places a hand over his stomach. “I hope it’s not food.”
Mikey shakes his head. “No…not yet, bro.” He holds up the painting to show his brother. “I brought you this.”
Raph stares at it for a moment before giving them both a small grin. “Where exactly do you plan to put that, Mikey?”
Mikey shrugs as he glances around the room, and then smirks evilly. “Well, we could always cover up some of your posters.”
Raph glares at the suggestion, but there’s still a smile on his face as he shakes his head at his little brother’s antics. “Or you could put it on the door.”
Mikey’s grin couldn’t possibly get any bigger as he nods his head vigorously. “Seriously? ‘Cause I’ll go get the tape right now.”
Raph merely shrugs as he leans back against his wall. “Sure, why not?”
Raph doesn’t get a chance to say another word as Mikey bolts out of the room, painting still in hand, laughing the whole way. “Well, I think it’s safe to say that you made his day.”
Raph chuckles at Leo as he moves his pillow behind him into a more comfortable position. “It’s a nice painting. Make sure you remind him of that later.”
Leo’s eyes narrow in confusion, uncertain of what Raph is referring to. “What do you mean?”
“It’s getting worse, Leo. Whatever’s happening to me…it’s getting worse.” He stares down at his hands for a long moment, clenching them tightly and releasing them over and over as though the motion is painful. “I know Donnie is working himself to death, but I’m starting to think there’s no cure for this.”
Leo goes over and sits on the bed next to his brother. He can feel tears glistening in his eyes, but he refuses to let them fall. He has to be strong in the face of Raph’s doubt, but Leo doesn’t know how. He’s never known Raph to give up on anything, especially himself. “Come on, don’t say that. We’ll figure this out. We always do.”
Raph shakes his head before giving Leo a pointed look. “You have to promise me you won’t let this break them. Whatever’s happening to me…whatever I’m turning into…it can’t change them. It can’t change you.”
Leo shuts his eyes and sighs heavily. “I can’t promise that, Raph, because it already is changing us. If we can’t reverse this…if we can’t find a way to fix this, then I don’t know what we’ll do.”
Raph nudges him as hard as he can, which admittedly isn’t very hard at all, but it draws Leo’s attention towards him, all the same. Raph turns to glare at him directly. “You’ll do what you always do, Leonardo. You’ll lead them.”
Leo can feel the tears building again, but this time he can’t stop them from falling. “Four becoming three changes things, Raph.”
Before either one of them can say anything else, the door flings open and Mikey is standing there with a giant roll of tape in one hand and the painting in the other. Leo subtly swipes an arm across his face as his little brother sets to work tacking up the picture. “Sorry it took so long, bros, but Donnie is apparently hording all of the tape again.”
“I was not hoarding it. I needed it for a project.” Donnie’s voice sounds from just outside the door and Leo takes a deep calming breath. The last thing he needs right now is for Donnie to see how much of a mess he is right now. After all, the genius isn’t nearly as easily distracted as Mikey.
Mikey holds the door open just enough for Donnie to enter, and then returns to the process of taping up his painting. “That doesn’t explain why you have so many rolls of it, D.”
Donnie huffs out an annoyed breath as he watches Mikey work. “They’re all for different things, Mikey. Also, I need that one back and soon.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Mikey waves his hand dismissively as he places a large amount of tape at the corners of the painting. “You can have it back when I’m done.”
Donnie rolls his eyes as he folds his arms over his chest. “You don’t need to use so much of it.”
“I can’t risk this masterpiece falling down. Now, can I, D?”
Leo glances over at Raph who seems to be enjoying their bickering, but he looks as if he’s going to lean over and fall back to sleep any minute now. He wants to make sure that Raph at least attempts to eat something, and spends some time outside of his room, so he figures now is as good a time as any to interrupt the other two. “So, Mikey, did you have anything planned for lunch?”
Mikey immediately perks up, tosses the roll of tape to Donnie -- who easily catches it -- and then rubs his hands together mischievously. “Actually, I do.”
Raph groans again and looks as though eating is the last thing on his mind, but Leo figures there are worse things they could be doing to him right now. “You just had to remind him.”
Leo nods as he slides off the bed. “Yeah, now come on. We’ll eat lunch in front of the TV. I think it’s your turn to pick the movie.”
Raph rolls his eyes as he gets to his feet. “It’s always my turn now.”
Leo tries not to sigh again. Raph didn’t want them to change anything. He wanted to be treated the same as always, but he had to know that it wasn’t going to happen. Everything has changed…they’ve changed, and the only thing any of them know how to do right now is provide what little comfort they can. Surely, Raph knows that. Still, Leo’s aware that perhaps his brother needs even a token fight right now. “Well, we can always let Mikey pick, if you’re so against it.” He does his best to grin playfully, but he doesn’t really feel like teasing right now, especially after their previously interrupted conversation.
Raph, for his part, groans and gestures for them all to make their way out of his room. “Fine, but I don’t want to hear any whining about my pick.”
Leo’s pretty sure he only says it, because it’s part of their normal banter. After all, there hasn’t been a single complaint about Raph’s movie choices since this whole thing started. Leo isn’t exactly sure how to respond. Under normal circumstances, he’s sure he would have something witty to say, but right now he comes up blank. However, Leo’s not the only one with the power of speech. “If you don’t want us to mock it, then don’t pick something so boring this time.” Mikey chimes in as he makes his way to the kitchen. Leo can’t help but smile as he sees the look of contentment on Raph’s face. At least one of them knows how to keep the bickering going.
Raph half-heartedly grumbles something about little brothers and poor attention spans as Mikey disappears into the kitchen. The rest of them settle into comfortable positions in front of the TV as they wait for him to return with whatever food he’s decided to entice Raph with today. It isn’t long, however, before Leo catches Donnie glancing over at his lab longingly. If he has a test or some project going on in there that could somehow help Raph, then Leo doesn’t want to keep him away from it, but he knows his brother well enough to know that, whether he does or not, Donnie needs a break.
“Hey, Donnie?” At the sound of his name, Don’s attention immediately swivels from his lab door to Leo’s eyes. “Do you mind going and helping Mikey in the kitchen. I don’t want him attempting to carry the food and drinks at the same time again.”
Donnie nods and slinks out of the room. Leo doesn’t really know how he’s going to keep the genius’s attention on something other than whatever he’s got going on in his lab once the movie starts, but for right now Leo is hoping for out of sight out of mind…even if he knows better. Still, Mikey tends to have a knack for knowing when someone needs a distraction, so Leo figures those two can help each other out right now.
He turns his attention towards Raph and considers finishing their earlier conversation, but the last thing he wants to do right now is have a fight with his ailing brother, so instead Leo nudges him gently. “So, what are we watching today?”
Raph glances over at the stack of old VHS tapes and points at one of the ones on the bottom. “Xena’s fine by me.”
Leo’s eyes narrow at that, but he gets up to put in the first tape anyway. “Xena? Really?”
He sees Raph shrug out of the corner of his eye. “Sure, the music doesn’t hurt my head and it’s entertaining enough. Besides warrior princess, what more does a guy need?”
“Right you are, brother of mine.” Mikey laughs as he practically bounces into the room holding a plate piled high with what smells like mozzarella grilled cheese sandwiches, which is about as close as Raph can get to pizza right now.
The four of them settle down with sandwiches and drinks as the first episode plays. Leo does his best to focus on the screen and not on his brothers, but it’s hard when his mind seems consumed with worry for all of them. If they notice his eyes on them, none of them say anything, which he guesses is a good thing. They’re halfway through the second episode when Leo notices that Raph has eaten half of one sandwich and stopped. It makes him heave a despondent sigh, but at least Raph is trying to eat. Leo has been spending the majority of his time lately reminding himself that it’s better than nothing.
Author: Brokaw22
Disclaimer: The norms
Rating: T
Story Synopsis: Leo knows that there's something going on with Raph. He just never expected it to be something of this magnitude.
Previous Chapters: Chapter One (Part A) Chapter One (Part B) Chapter Two Chapter Three
It’s been a week, and Raph has steadily been getting worse. Leo doesn’t know what to do other than let his brother rest as much as he needs and encourage him to eat when he’s awake. He’s even thinner now, even with Mikey almost constantly trying to entice him with his various favorite foods. He’s also weaker. Now that he doesn’t even have the energy to train like he used to, it’s only more apparent how much muscle mass Raph’s lost. Donnie still hasn’t made any headway in his search for a cure -- or even a definitive answer as to what’s happening to their brother -- and with each passing day a growing hopelessness and despair descends upon the lair. Leo doesn’t know what to do and he desperately wants to call his father. However, he refuses to go against Raph’s wishes, especially since he equally doesn’t want to do anything to compromise Master Splinter’s recovery.
Still, Leo can’t seem to find anything to abate his worry. He does his best to keep busy and distract himself while Raph is sleeping, but he can’t really focus enough to meditate and any other kind of distraction is fleeting. The moment his brother awakens, it becomes exponentially harder to keep his concern at bay. However, Leo knows he has to shove all of his negative feelings away for his brothers. He knows that seeing exactly how troubled he is will only make Donnie feel as though he needs to work harder, which is just plain ridiculous, because his brother is working as hard as he possibly can. Not to mention, if they see how badly this is affecting him, then Mikey will worry even more, and Raph will feel even worse about this whole thing than he already does.
Leo sighs heavily to himself as he makes another cup of tea. It won’t calm him any…it never does anymore, but it gives him something to do and something to hold onto. He feels like everything is spinning out of control and he doesn’t know how to stop it. His thoughts are abruptly interrupted when he feels something bump into his shell and turns around to find Mikey holding up a rather large sheet of what appears to be canvas. Leo isn’t sure if he should be more worried about where the canvas came from and what Mikey intends to do with it or the fact that at some point Mikey came into the kitchen carrying said canvas and Leo didn’t even notice. “What are you doing?”
Mikey grins up at him, but the smile doesn’t really reach his eyes. Leo raises an eyebrow ridge and patiently waits for an answer. After a long moment, Mikey rubs the back of his head self-consciously and starts fidgeting. “Well, Raph has been spending an awful lot of time in his room lately. I know his walls are covered in posters and stuff, but everything in there is rather dark and gloomy, so I was thinking that I would paint him something a little more cheery and colorful. But then I thought that he might not like it, so I figured I would just hang it near the turnstiles, but then I realized that it might encourage him to leave the lair. So then, I thought I would put it by his training dummy, but then I figured that it might remind him of training, and, since he can’t do that anymore, that might upset him. So, I considered putting it in here, but it probably will just be in the way, and…and I think this a stupid idea, so I’ll just go back to my room now.”
Leo grabs a hold of Mikey’s arm before he can dash out of the room. “I don’t think it’s a stupid idea. In fact, I think Raph would really like one of your paintings in his room. So, what did you paint?”
Mikey turns over the canvas and holds it up in front of Leo. Mikey always has been extremely talented in regards to drawing and painting, and Leo smiles, knowing that his little brother’s artistic abilities have only grown over time. The picture depicts the whole family, Splinter included, out in forest with the sun shining high in the sky over the trees and a stream cutting across the background. “It’s really great, Mikey. You even added in the farmhouse in the distance there.”
Mikey beams at the praise. “Yeah, bro, I was going to add some wildlife, but I didn’t want to clutter it, ya know?”
Leo nods and he starts walking Mikey out of the room. “Well, come on, let’s go see if Raph is awake and you can show it to him.”
Mikey glances up at him uncertainly, but keeping pace with him, all the same. “Do you think he’ll like it?”
Leo smiles reassuringly as he rubs Mikey’s head affectionately. “You know, Raph. He’ll pretend like he doesn’t, but the first question of out his mouth will be where are you putting it, and then he’ll tell you exactly where you should put it.”
Mikey grins brightly as they make their way towards Raph’s room. “Yeah, he will.”
When they open the door, Raph is just starting to sit up, clearly still exhausted. “Hey, do you mind if we come in? Mikey brought something for you?”
Raph groans as he sits up all of the way and places a hand over his stomach. “I hope it’s not food.”
Mikey shakes his head. “No…not yet, bro.” He holds up the painting to show his brother. “I brought you this.”
Raph stares at it for a moment before giving them both a small grin. “Where exactly do you plan to put that, Mikey?”
Mikey shrugs as he glances around the room, and then smirks evilly. “Well, we could always cover up some of your posters.”
Raph glares at the suggestion, but there’s still a smile on his face as he shakes his head at his little brother’s antics. “Or you could put it on the door.”
Mikey’s grin couldn’t possibly get any bigger as he nods his head vigorously. “Seriously? ‘Cause I’ll go get the tape right now.”
Raph merely shrugs as he leans back against his wall. “Sure, why not?”
Raph doesn’t get a chance to say another word as Mikey bolts out of the room, painting still in hand, laughing the whole way. “Well, I think it’s safe to say that you made his day.”
Raph chuckles at Leo as he moves his pillow behind him into a more comfortable position. “It’s a nice painting. Make sure you remind him of that later.”
Leo’s eyes narrow in confusion, uncertain of what Raph is referring to. “What do you mean?”
“It’s getting worse, Leo. Whatever’s happening to me…it’s getting worse.” He stares down at his hands for a long moment, clenching them tightly and releasing them over and over as though the motion is painful. “I know Donnie is working himself to death, but I’m starting to think there’s no cure for this.”
Leo goes over and sits on the bed next to his brother. He can feel tears glistening in his eyes, but he refuses to let them fall. He has to be strong in the face of Raph’s doubt, but Leo doesn’t know how. He’s never known Raph to give up on anything, especially himself. “Come on, don’t say that. We’ll figure this out. We always do.”
Raph shakes his head before giving Leo a pointed look. “You have to promise me you won’t let this break them. Whatever’s happening to me…whatever I’m turning into…it can’t change them. It can’t change you.”
Leo shuts his eyes and sighs heavily. “I can’t promise that, Raph, because it already is changing us. If we can’t reverse this…if we can’t find a way to fix this, then I don’t know what we’ll do.”
Raph nudges him as hard as he can, which admittedly isn’t very hard at all, but it draws Leo’s attention towards him, all the same. Raph turns to glare at him directly. “You’ll do what you always do, Leonardo. You’ll lead them.”
Leo can feel the tears building again, but this time he can’t stop them from falling. “Four becoming three changes things, Raph.”
Before either one of them can say anything else, the door flings open and Mikey is standing there with a giant roll of tape in one hand and the painting in the other. Leo subtly swipes an arm across his face as his little brother sets to work tacking up the picture. “Sorry it took so long, bros, but Donnie is apparently hording all of the tape again.”
“I was not hoarding it. I needed it for a project.” Donnie’s voice sounds from just outside the door and Leo takes a deep calming breath. The last thing he needs right now is for Donnie to see how much of a mess he is right now. After all, the genius isn’t nearly as easily distracted as Mikey.
Mikey holds the door open just enough for Donnie to enter, and then returns to the process of taping up his painting. “That doesn’t explain why you have so many rolls of it, D.”
Donnie huffs out an annoyed breath as he watches Mikey work. “They’re all for different things, Mikey. Also, I need that one back and soon.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Mikey waves his hand dismissively as he places a large amount of tape at the corners of the painting. “You can have it back when I’m done.”
Donnie rolls his eyes as he folds his arms over his chest. “You don’t need to use so much of it.”
“I can’t risk this masterpiece falling down. Now, can I, D?”
Leo glances over at Raph who seems to be enjoying their bickering, but he looks as if he’s going to lean over and fall back to sleep any minute now. He wants to make sure that Raph at least attempts to eat something, and spends some time outside of his room, so he figures now is as good a time as any to interrupt the other two. “So, Mikey, did you have anything planned for lunch?”
Mikey immediately perks up, tosses the roll of tape to Donnie -- who easily catches it -- and then rubs his hands together mischievously. “Actually, I do.”
Raph groans again and looks as though eating is the last thing on his mind, but Leo figures there are worse things they could be doing to him right now. “You just had to remind him.”
Leo nods as he slides off the bed. “Yeah, now come on. We’ll eat lunch in front of the TV. I think it’s your turn to pick the movie.”
Raph rolls his eyes as he gets to his feet. “It’s always my turn now.”
Leo tries not to sigh again. Raph didn’t want them to change anything. He wanted to be treated the same as always, but he had to know that it wasn’t going to happen. Everything has changed…they’ve changed, and the only thing any of them know how to do right now is provide what little comfort they can. Surely, Raph knows that. Still, Leo’s aware that perhaps his brother needs even a token fight right now. “Well, we can always let Mikey pick, if you’re so against it.” He does his best to grin playfully, but he doesn’t really feel like teasing right now, especially after their previously interrupted conversation.
Raph, for his part, groans and gestures for them all to make their way out of his room. “Fine, but I don’t want to hear any whining about my pick.”
Leo’s pretty sure he only says it, because it’s part of their normal banter. After all, there hasn’t been a single complaint about Raph’s movie choices since this whole thing started. Leo isn’t exactly sure how to respond. Under normal circumstances, he’s sure he would have something witty to say, but right now he comes up blank. However, Leo’s not the only one with the power of speech. “If you don’t want us to mock it, then don’t pick something so boring this time.” Mikey chimes in as he makes his way to the kitchen. Leo can’t help but smile as he sees the look of contentment on Raph’s face. At least one of them knows how to keep the bickering going.
Raph half-heartedly grumbles something about little brothers and poor attention spans as Mikey disappears into the kitchen. The rest of them settle into comfortable positions in front of the TV as they wait for him to return with whatever food he’s decided to entice Raph with today. It isn’t long, however, before Leo catches Donnie glancing over at his lab longingly. If he has a test or some project going on in there that could somehow help Raph, then Leo doesn’t want to keep him away from it, but he knows his brother well enough to know that, whether he does or not, Donnie needs a break.
“Hey, Donnie?” At the sound of his name, Don’s attention immediately swivels from his lab door to Leo’s eyes. “Do you mind going and helping Mikey in the kitchen. I don’t want him attempting to carry the food and drinks at the same time again.”
Donnie nods and slinks out of the room. Leo doesn’t really know how he’s going to keep the genius’s attention on something other than whatever he’s got going on in his lab once the movie starts, but for right now Leo is hoping for out of sight out of mind…even if he knows better. Still, Mikey tends to have a knack for knowing when someone needs a distraction, so Leo figures those two can help each other out right now.
He turns his attention towards Raph and considers finishing their earlier conversation, but the last thing he wants to do right now is have a fight with his ailing brother, so instead Leo nudges him gently. “So, what are we watching today?”
Raph glances over at the stack of old VHS tapes and points at one of the ones on the bottom. “Xena’s fine by me.”
Leo’s eyes narrow at that, but he gets up to put in the first tape anyway. “Xena? Really?”
He sees Raph shrug out of the corner of his eye. “Sure, the music doesn’t hurt my head and it’s entertaining enough. Besides warrior princess, what more does a guy need?”
“Right you are, brother of mine.” Mikey laughs as he practically bounces into the room holding a plate piled high with what smells like mozzarella grilled cheese sandwiches, which is about as close as Raph can get to pizza right now.
The four of them settle down with sandwiches and drinks as the first episode plays. Leo does his best to focus on the screen and not on his brothers, but it’s hard when his mind seems consumed with worry for all of them. If they notice his eyes on them, none of them say anything, which he guesses is a good thing. They’re halfway through the second episode when Leo notices that Raph has eaten half of one sandwich and stopped. It makes him heave a despondent sigh, but at least Raph is trying to eat. Leo has been spending the majority of his time lately reminding himself that it’s better than nothing.