Fic: Cookie Theft Thursday Part A
Title: Cookie Theft Thursday
Author: Brokaw22
Disclaimer: The norms
Rating: T
Story Synopsis: Dick and Tim endure another magical mishap. Although, Dick thinks that being turned into an animal might have been perferable to their current situation.
Thanks to Kathy for the beta work.
Dick awakes groggy and sore all over. He doesn’t remember much from the previous night, beyond some vague recollection of meeting up with Red Robin for a short amount of time while patrolling and taking on some weird new sorceress of some kind. Here’s hoping no one has turned into some kind of animal this time. Dick groans as he gets out of bed. He has no idea why he’s this disoriented and dizzy. It’s not as though their patrol was any harder than normal, even with the unexpected sorceress encounter. Still, he’s sure that it’s nothing a bowl of sugary cereal and a large cup of coffee won’t fix.
Dick yawns and stretches as he gets out of bed and then almost losses his balance when there’s a sudden intense twinge in his left ankle, and his right wrist feels abnormally stiff. He rights himself before he can hit the floor, and that’s when Dick notices that his ribs hurt, too…not enough for them to be broken, but enough that it’s bothersome. He doesn’t remember injuring himself the previous night, but something must have happened, because there’s no reason he should be feeling this awful right now.
He takes a moment to assess any other possible injuries, but there doesn’t seem to be anything else wrong with him. Dick reaches for his first-aid kit, so he can wrap his ankle, only to discover it’s not where it’s supposed to be. It’s then that Dick actually takes a good long look at the room he’s in, only to discover that he’s not actually in his own bedroom…or even his own apartment. He really doesn’t remember going to Tim’s the night before, nor does he remember stealing Tim’s bed, but he’s here, so he figures it might just be time to track down his little brother and figure out what exactly happened the previous night.
Dick makes his way out into the main room, expecting to find Tim sleeping on the couch, but there’s no sign of his little brother anywhere in the apartment. Dick shakes his head, leave it to Tim to not bother with a trivial thing such as sleep. He yawns again before making his way to the bathroom. Dick figures he might as well get dressed, find Tim’s first-aid kit, and then figure out where Tim is and what exactly he’s doing. Dick starts the shower and reminds himself to duck under Tim’s low hanging shower curtain rod, but as he reaches up to pull back the curtain, Dick realizes it’s not as low as it usually is.
He stares at the shower curtain for a long moment, before shrugging and getting in. Perhaps all of his jokes about Tim staying a runt forever are going to have to be shelved. It seems Tim has grown enough that he’s had to move the shower curtain rod up a bit, which works just fine for Dick. He’s definitely starting to get tired of hitting his head on that thing every time he stays here and is too tired to remember to duck beneath it. When Dick gets out of the shower, he wraps a towel around himself and then starts rooting through Tim’s bathroom, searching for his little brother’s hairbrush, only to glance up at the mirror hanging on Tim’s wall and nearly drop his towel.
Dick stares at the mirror in bewilderment, and then sighs in exasperation. Now he’s starting to wonder if maybe being turned into an animal would have been more preferable to this. Heaving a large breath, Dick decides to just get dressed, wrap his ankle, and then call Tim. Hopefully, his little brother isn’t panicking too badly about their current circumstances. After all, it’s not as if Dick chose to get stuck in Tim’s body.
It takes Dick no time at all to find Tim’s phone, since it’s sitting on the guy’s nightstand, but before he can call Tim, he cringes at the thought of Tim having to search his disaster of a room for his phone, which is most likely buried under a pile of clothes, hidden inside a pocket in a pair of pants somewhere around his apartment. He steels himself for the impending lecture as he presses the call button. It takes three tries, but Dick finally gets a hold of Tim, who sounds extremely grumpy as he grunts into the phone. “Where are you and why am I in your apartment? And don’t you have anything to eat, ‘cause your poptarts and cereal really aren’t going to cut it.”
Dick can’t help but laugh. Obviously, Tim hasn’t finished his first cup of coffee yet and he’s still really out of it. Otherwise, he’s sure Tim would have noticed something odd about the fact that Tim just got a call on Dick’s phone from himself and that he’s hearing his own voice right now. “Hey, little brother, you, uh, you haven’t looked in a mirror recently, have you?”
Tim sighs heavily and Dick can hear the scraping sound of ceramic against a smooth surface, which he guesses means Tim just put his coffee cup down on his counter. “Dick, I really don’t have time for your games and jokes today, so if you could just…”
“No, Tim, I’m serious. Go look in a mirror.”
“Okay, fine, I really don’t see the point in this, but fine.”
Tim is in the middle of grumbling about annoying older brothers and Dick’s ridiculous behavior when all of a sudden he falls silent. Dick wonders idly if Tim dropped the phone upon his discovery. However, the moment that Dick is about to scream into the phone for Tim’s attention, he hears an exasperated sigh. “I assume you have an explanation for why I’m you, or, better yet, a way to reverse this.”
Dick chuckles nervously as he rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, only to grunt when there’s a spike of pain through his right wrist from the movement. “Well, not exactly. I mean, I figure that sorceress we ran into last night has something to do with this, but I still need to contact our usual people about this, so I guess I’ll meet you at the manor?”
Tim heaves another long sigh and Dick can hear him shuffling around on the other end of the phone. “Yeah, I guess we don’t have any other options. Do me a favor; don’t bother answering any calls from anyone who isn’t family. I’ll deal with all that stuff once we’re back in our proper bodies.”
Dick narrows his eyes at the request. It’s not as though he can’t deal with WE stuff or whatever else is on Tim’s plate, but Dick doesn’t bother being offended. After all, it’s not as if they don’t have bigger problems to deal with right now. “Sure, no problem, so there’s just one more thing before you go.”
“Yeah, what’s that?” Tim sounds distracted, which means he’s probably in the process of trying to find Dick’s keys and pull on his clothes, while simultaneously trying to gulp down as much coffee as he possibly can.
“What the hell did you do to your ankle, wrist, and ribs? The ankle is swollen and hurts pretty badly, your ribs feel bruised, though there are no obvious signs of injury, and I awoke with your wrist feeling stiff, but now it hurts, too.”
Tim hums for a second as though he’s honestly trying to remember. “Don’t know. Just wrap the ankle, ice the wrist for a bit, and ignore the ribs. I always do.”
“Wait, what do you mean you always do? How often do your ribs hurt like this?”
Tim makes a noise, like he honestly doesn’t know, and Dick can just tell that he’s shrugging. “Doesn’t matter. We kind of have bigger problems than your whining.”
Dick’s eyes widen and then he growls. “My whining? Excuse me, I’m not whining. Some of us don’t actually wake up in pain every day.”
“As I said, whining.” From the tone of his voice, Dick can tell that Tim is smirking, and he doesn’t like it…not one bit.
“Tim…” Dick doesn’t get to finish, or even really start, his amazing big brother lecture before Tim interrupts.
“Well, I’m ready to go. Meet you at the manor. Bye, Dick.” Before Dick can even respond Tim hangs up.
Dick growls as he clutches the phone and promises that this is far from over. He tucks Tim’s phone into his pocket and then grabs the keys to Tim’s motorcycle on his way out of the door. The trek to the manor is a fairly uneventful one, which Dick guesses he should be thankful for, given his throbbing ankle and mildly aching wrist.
When Dick arrives at the manor, he’s not really paying attention to what he’s doing or where he’s going, which is why he nearly knocks into Damian on his way through the foyer. Dick doesn’t get a chance to say anything before Damian roughly pushes past him. “What are you doing here?”
Dick’s eyes widen at Damian’s tone, which is a lot more scathing than normal, and he’s about to ask what’s eating him, when Dick realizes that Damian thinks he’s Tim. Dick smiles evilly as he moves swiftly and grabs Damian in a tight embrace. “Just came to see my favorite little brother, that’s all.”
Damian squirms in his arms, desperately trying to get away, but no one knows how to perform a bear hug quite as effectively as Dick does, even when he’s not in his own body. “Father! Pennyworth! Come quick! There’s something wrong with Drake!”
Dick can’t help but laugh maniacally as he tightens his hold on Damian. Damian growls in frustration, before muttering. “Fine, we’ll do this my way.” The next thing Dick knows, Damian kicks him in the knee and then twists out of his grip. The kid grabs his bad wrist and moves for a throw -- one which Dick ends up being unable to get out of. He’s not used to Tim’s lower center of gravity or his shorter reach. He tries to twist his body in midair to land on his feet, but Tim’s ribs protest loudly and his spine isn’t particularly fond of the stretch Dick has forced it into. There’s the sound of Damian moving in fast, and Dick barely manages to block a kick to the face before he’s lying on his back on the floor, staring up at Damian. “You’re not Drake. Even he’s not this pathetic.”
Dick chuckles softly as he gets to his feet. “Well, it’s good to know that you’re aware Tim’s capable of kicking your butt, little brother.”
Damian’s eyes widen in sudden realization. “Grayson? Why do you look like Drake?”
“Because he likes to annoy magic users on a regular basis, and I just have bad luck.” Dick turns suddenly to see himself standing in the doorway with a rather irritated Tim expression on his face. It’s all rather disturbing.
“Hey Timmy, how’s it going?” Dick smiles brightly as he brushes himself off.
Tim rolls his eyes and Dick decides this is definitely going on his list of top ten weirdest things he’s ever had to deal with. “You’re too tall. I keep hitting my head on things.”
Dick laughs as he shakes his head. “Well, then, I guess we better find a way to reverse this soon, before you give me a concussion or something.”
The two of them head down to the cave, leaving Damian to his own devices for now. Dick glances over at his own body and then sizes up Tim’s for second before smirking. “So, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Tim merely hums in response and Dick’s smirk only grows. “You’ve driven the Batmobile before, right?” At Tim’s nod, Dick continues. “How exactly do your tiny legs reach the pedals?”
Whatever response Dick is expecting he doesn’t get it. Instead, Tim just sighs heavily. “Will this day ever end?”
Dick pouts as he continues down the steps, until he remembers something. “So, when are we going to talk about your injuries?”
Tim raises an eyebrow at him, and Dick doesn’t think he will ever get used to seeing Tim’s expressions on his own face. “What are you talking about? We did discuss them, wrap, ice, and stop whining. What more needs to be said?”
Dick grumbles as Tim heads straight for Bruce’s chair. “Hey, currently-not-so-short-stuff, who said you get the chair?”
Tim shrugs. “I got here first.”
Dick glares as he folds his arms over his chest. “Only because you’re taking advantage of my long legs.”
Tim shakes his head, and Dick can tell that he’s rolling his eyes again. “Look, I’m aware we both woke up in the wrong beds and bodies today, but is that really any excuse for your constant complaining?”
Dick plops down on the desk beside Tim. “I’m not complaining. These are genuine facts, Timmy. You’re using my body to your advantage and I still don’t know how you drive anything that isn’t custom made to fit you.”
Tim growls before getting to his feet. “You know what? I need more coffee and you need to contact someone about fixing this.” Tim gestures widely at both of them before walking away.
“There you go using my long legs to your advantage again…getting to your coffee quicker. You could at least show some gratitude.” Dick laughs maniacally as Tim quickens his pace and all but runs up the stairs.
Author: Brokaw22
Disclaimer: The norms
Rating: T
Story Synopsis: Dick and Tim endure another magical mishap. Although, Dick thinks that being turned into an animal might have been perferable to their current situation.
Thanks to Kathy for the beta work.
Dick awakes groggy and sore all over. He doesn’t remember much from the previous night, beyond some vague recollection of meeting up with Red Robin for a short amount of time while patrolling and taking on some weird new sorceress of some kind. Here’s hoping no one has turned into some kind of animal this time. Dick groans as he gets out of bed. He has no idea why he’s this disoriented and dizzy. It’s not as though their patrol was any harder than normal, even with the unexpected sorceress encounter. Still, he’s sure that it’s nothing a bowl of sugary cereal and a large cup of coffee won’t fix.
Dick yawns and stretches as he gets out of bed and then almost losses his balance when there’s a sudden intense twinge in his left ankle, and his right wrist feels abnormally stiff. He rights himself before he can hit the floor, and that’s when Dick notices that his ribs hurt, too…not enough for them to be broken, but enough that it’s bothersome. He doesn’t remember injuring himself the previous night, but something must have happened, because there’s no reason he should be feeling this awful right now.
He takes a moment to assess any other possible injuries, but there doesn’t seem to be anything else wrong with him. Dick reaches for his first-aid kit, so he can wrap his ankle, only to discover it’s not where it’s supposed to be. It’s then that Dick actually takes a good long look at the room he’s in, only to discover that he’s not actually in his own bedroom…or even his own apartment. He really doesn’t remember going to Tim’s the night before, nor does he remember stealing Tim’s bed, but he’s here, so he figures it might just be time to track down his little brother and figure out what exactly happened the previous night.
Dick makes his way out into the main room, expecting to find Tim sleeping on the couch, but there’s no sign of his little brother anywhere in the apartment. Dick shakes his head, leave it to Tim to not bother with a trivial thing such as sleep. He yawns again before making his way to the bathroom. Dick figures he might as well get dressed, find Tim’s first-aid kit, and then figure out where Tim is and what exactly he’s doing. Dick starts the shower and reminds himself to duck under Tim’s low hanging shower curtain rod, but as he reaches up to pull back the curtain, Dick realizes it’s not as low as it usually is.
He stares at the shower curtain for a long moment, before shrugging and getting in. Perhaps all of his jokes about Tim staying a runt forever are going to have to be shelved. It seems Tim has grown enough that he’s had to move the shower curtain rod up a bit, which works just fine for Dick. He’s definitely starting to get tired of hitting his head on that thing every time he stays here and is too tired to remember to duck beneath it. When Dick gets out of the shower, he wraps a towel around himself and then starts rooting through Tim’s bathroom, searching for his little brother’s hairbrush, only to glance up at the mirror hanging on Tim’s wall and nearly drop his towel.
Dick stares at the mirror in bewilderment, and then sighs in exasperation. Now he’s starting to wonder if maybe being turned into an animal would have been more preferable to this. Heaving a large breath, Dick decides to just get dressed, wrap his ankle, and then call Tim. Hopefully, his little brother isn’t panicking too badly about their current circumstances. After all, it’s not as if Dick chose to get stuck in Tim’s body.
It takes Dick no time at all to find Tim’s phone, since it’s sitting on the guy’s nightstand, but before he can call Tim, he cringes at the thought of Tim having to search his disaster of a room for his phone, which is most likely buried under a pile of clothes, hidden inside a pocket in a pair of pants somewhere around his apartment. He steels himself for the impending lecture as he presses the call button. It takes three tries, but Dick finally gets a hold of Tim, who sounds extremely grumpy as he grunts into the phone. “Where are you and why am I in your apartment? And don’t you have anything to eat, ‘cause your poptarts and cereal really aren’t going to cut it.”
Dick can’t help but laugh. Obviously, Tim hasn’t finished his first cup of coffee yet and he’s still really out of it. Otherwise, he’s sure Tim would have noticed something odd about the fact that Tim just got a call on Dick’s phone from himself and that he’s hearing his own voice right now. “Hey, little brother, you, uh, you haven’t looked in a mirror recently, have you?”
Tim sighs heavily and Dick can hear the scraping sound of ceramic against a smooth surface, which he guesses means Tim just put his coffee cup down on his counter. “Dick, I really don’t have time for your games and jokes today, so if you could just…”
“No, Tim, I’m serious. Go look in a mirror.”
“Okay, fine, I really don’t see the point in this, but fine.”
Tim is in the middle of grumbling about annoying older brothers and Dick’s ridiculous behavior when all of a sudden he falls silent. Dick wonders idly if Tim dropped the phone upon his discovery. However, the moment that Dick is about to scream into the phone for Tim’s attention, he hears an exasperated sigh. “I assume you have an explanation for why I’m you, or, better yet, a way to reverse this.”
Dick chuckles nervously as he rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, only to grunt when there’s a spike of pain through his right wrist from the movement. “Well, not exactly. I mean, I figure that sorceress we ran into last night has something to do with this, but I still need to contact our usual people about this, so I guess I’ll meet you at the manor?”
Tim heaves another long sigh and Dick can hear him shuffling around on the other end of the phone. “Yeah, I guess we don’t have any other options. Do me a favor; don’t bother answering any calls from anyone who isn’t family. I’ll deal with all that stuff once we’re back in our proper bodies.”
Dick narrows his eyes at the request. It’s not as though he can’t deal with WE stuff or whatever else is on Tim’s plate, but Dick doesn’t bother being offended. After all, it’s not as if they don’t have bigger problems to deal with right now. “Sure, no problem, so there’s just one more thing before you go.”
“Yeah, what’s that?” Tim sounds distracted, which means he’s probably in the process of trying to find Dick’s keys and pull on his clothes, while simultaneously trying to gulp down as much coffee as he possibly can.
“What the hell did you do to your ankle, wrist, and ribs? The ankle is swollen and hurts pretty badly, your ribs feel bruised, though there are no obvious signs of injury, and I awoke with your wrist feeling stiff, but now it hurts, too.”
Tim hums for a second as though he’s honestly trying to remember. “Don’t know. Just wrap the ankle, ice the wrist for a bit, and ignore the ribs. I always do.”
“Wait, what do you mean you always do? How often do your ribs hurt like this?”
Tim makes a noise, like he honestly doesn’t know, and Dick can just tell that he’s shrugging. “Doesn’t matter. We kind of have bigger problems than your whining.”
Dick’s eyes widen and then he growls. “My whining? Excuse me, I’m not whining. Some of us don’t actually wake up in pain every day.”
“As I said, whining.” From the tone of his voice, Dick can tell that Tim is smirking, and he doesn’t like it…not one bit.
“Tim…” Dick doesn’t get to finish, or even really start, his amazing big brother lecture before Tim interrupts.
“Well, I’m ready to go. Meet you at the manor. Bye, Dick.” Before Dick can even respond Tim hangs up.
Dick growls as he clutches the phone and promises that this is far from over. He tucks Tim’s phone into his pocket and then grabs the keys to Tim’s motorcycle on his way out of the door. The trek to the manor is a fairly uneventful one, which Dick guesses he should be thankful for, given his throbbing ankle and mildly aching wrist.
When Dick arrives at the manor, he’s not really paying attention to what he’s doing or where he’s going, which is why he nearly knocks into Damian on his way through the foyer. Dick doesn’t get a chance to say anything before Damian roughly pushes past him. “What are you doing here?”
Dick’s eyes widen at Damian’s tone, which is a lot more scathing than normal, and he’s about to ask what’s eating him, when Dick realizes that Damian thinks he’s Tim. Dick smiles evilly as he moves swiftly and grabs Damian in a tight embrace. “Just came to see my favorite little brother, that’s all.”
Damian squirms in his arms, desperately trying to get away, but no one knows how to perform a bear hug quite as effectively as Dick does, even when he’s not in his own body. “Father! Pennyworth! Come quick! There’s something wrong with Drake!”
Dick can’t help but laugh maniacally as he tightens his hold on Damian. Damian growls in frustration, before muttering. “Fine, we’ll do this my way.” The next thing Dick knows, Damian kicks him in the knee and then twists out of his grip. The kid grabs his bad wrist and moves for a throw -- one which Dick ends up being unable to get out of. He’s not used to Tim’s lower center of gravity or his shorter reach. He tries to twist his body in midair to land on his feet, but Tim’s ribs protest loudly and his spine isn’t particularly fond of the stretch Dick has forced it into. There’s the sound of Damian moving in fast, and Dick barely manages to block a kick to the face before he’s lying on his back on the floor, staring up at Damian. “You’re not Drake. Even he’s not this pathetic.”
Dick chuckles softly as he gets to his feet. “Well, it’s good to know that you’re aware Tim’s capable of kicking your butt, little brother.”
Damian’s eyes widen in sudden realization. “Grayson? Why do you look like Drake?”
“Because he likes to annoy magic users on a regular basis, and I just have bad luck.” Dick turns suddenly to see himself standing in the doorway with a rather irritated Tim expression on his face. It’s all rather disturbing.
“Hey Timmy, how’s it going?” Dick smiles brightly as he brushes himself off.
Tim rolls his eyes and Dick decides this is definitely going on his list of top ten weirdest things he’s ever had to deal with. “You’re too tall. I keep hitting my head on things.”
Dick laughs as he shakes his head. “Well, then, I guess we better find a way to reverse this soon, before you give me a concussion or something.”
The two of them head down to the cave, leaving Damian to his own devices for now. Dick glances over at his own body and then sizes up Tim’s for second before smirking. “So, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Tim merely hums in response and Dick’s smirk only grows. “You’ve driven the Batmobile before, right?” At Tim’s nod, Dick continues. “How exactly do your tiny legs reach the pedals?”
Whatever response Dick is expecting he doesn’t get it. Instead, Tim just sighs heavily. “Will this day ever end?”
Dick pouts as he continues down the steps, until he remembers something. “So, when are we going to talk about your injuries?”
Tim raises an eyebrow at him, and Dick doesn’t think he will ever get used to seeing Tim’s expressions on his own face. “What are you talking about? We did discuss them, wrap, ice, and stop whining. What more needs to be said?”
Dick grumbles as Tim heads straight for Bruce’s chair. “Hey, currently-not-so-short-stuff, who said you get the chair?”
Tim shrugs. “I got here first.”
Dick glares as he folds his arms over his chest. “Only because you’re taking advantage of my long legs.”
Tim shakes his head, and Dick can tell that he’s rolling his eyes again. “Look, I’m aware we both woke up in the wrong beds and bodies today, but is that really any excuse for your constant complaining?”
Dick plops down on the desk beside Tim. “I’m not complaining. These are genuine facts, Timmy. You’re using my body to your advantage and I still don’t know how you drive anything that isn’t custom made to fit you.”
Tim growls before getting to his feet. “You know what? I need more coffee and you need to contact someone about fixing this.” Tim gestures widely at both of them before walking away.
“There you go using my long legs to your advantage again…getting to your coffee quicker. You could at least show some gratitude.” Dick laughs maniacally as Tim quickens his pace and all but runs up the stairs.