(no subject)
Ok...so...I'm pretty sure that noone is actually reading it here...but on the off chance that someone stumbles across it and wants to read it...Hree's the next chapter.
A week passed and nothing more was said. Nothing about what had happened to Spencer. It was almost as if it hadn’t happened. Spencer was happy about that. She wanted to forget that it ever happened. She wanted to forget everything about the boy she once called a friend. Only that was almost impossible. Everywhere she went at school, he was there. Ashley never told her exactly what she’d done to Aiden, but from the bruises she could see, Spencer figured it out. She smiled at the thought of Ashley being her knight in shinning armor.
“Hey.” Spencer turned and saw the brunette walking toward her.
“Hey, yourself.”
“So, I was thinking, it’s Friday, and maybe you could come over for the weekend.” Spencer lowered her eyes to the ground. They hadn’t talked about it, but it still lingered there between them. “No pressure. We don’t have to do anything. I just, I miss you, Spence.”
“I know.” Spencer lifted her eyes to lock with Ashley’s. “And I miss you, but…”
“It’s ok. Some other time maybe.” Ashley smiled weakly.
“You know what? Yes. I’ll come over.” Ashley’s eyes lit up as she smiled.
~~
That night, they ate pizza while they watched Moulin Rouge for the fourth time. Of course, the other times, they’d never actually managed to finish it. But there was something different this time. Something that was being left unsaid, and it was pulling them apart. It was clear to see that both of the girls were trying to fight it. But the tension was building.
Spencer was leaning against Ashley. The brunettes legs draped over the blondes. Ashley slowly rubbed her fingers over Spencer’s hand. She felt it rising in her stomach. The need to touch Spencer and to feel her girlfriend touching her back was making everything else seem unimportant. She leant her head forward and kissed Spencer’s ear.
“Ash…” The brunette continued to kiss and nip at Spencer’s ear. “Ashley!” Spencer jumped away.
“What?”
“Stop.”
“Why?”
“I can’t…” Spencer slowly shook her head.
“I don’t get it. Last week when I didn’t know, you were all over me. This week, now that I do, I can’t touch you?”
“I just can’t, not now.”
“Spencer, this is crazy.”
“You just don’t get it.”
“No, I don’t. So, explain it to me.”
“Every time, I just…his face is…it’s everywhere, Ashley.”
“It’s not here.”
“But it is. For me.”
“So, why before…and not now?”
“I didn’t want you to know, Ashley. So, I tried to act like nothing was wrong.”
“I didn’t realize that keeping secrets from me turned you on.”
“What?” Spencer suddenly felt something rise in her stomach. “You think I was turned on? Ashley, have never been so repulsed in my life. Not by anything. I have never been so scared in my life. And felt so broken and alone!” She was yelling now. “And you think I was turned on?”
“Well, all I remember is you all over me.”
“Screw you, Ashley!” Spencer picked up her coat and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Ashley. I thought that you’d at least try to understand. That you’d be there for me, like all the times I’ve been there for you. I guess I was expecting to much from my girlfriend.” Spencer shook her head and stormed from Ashley’s house.
~~~
Spencer stormed into her house. Clay and Chelsea jumped apart and stared at her. Confused.
“Spence, are you ok?” Clay asked.
“I’m fine. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Spencer smiled weakly at her brother and his girlfriend before heading upstairs.
“Chelsea, I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Where are you going?”
“I need to make sure she’s ok.” Alarm bells sounded in Chelsea’s head.
“I’ll do it.” The girl rose to her feet and smiled reassuringly at her boyfriend. “It could just be a girly problem.” Clay made a face before smiling. He nodded and watched Chelsea head up the stairs.
She knocked on the door to Spencer’s room but didn’t wait for permission before entering.
“Spencer, are you really ok?”
“How could you tell her?”
“You’re mad at me?”
“Hell yes! You had no right!”
“No, you should’ve told her. She was so worried about you, Spencer.”
“Yeah, ok.” Her words dripped with sarcasm. “She didn’t need to know.”
“Spencer, I’m sorry that I told her, ok. But she needed to know. I thought it would help.”
“Yeah, you gave me your word, Chelsea. Now, it doesn’t mean anything. Nothing means anything.”
“Ok. I’m going to back and join Clay. If you need anything, just give me a yell.”
“Yeah, you’re definitely the person I’ll be calling when I’m in trouble.”
~~~
Ashley walked to the bar. She’d really screwed everything up. She was confused though. Spencer had been very forceful the previous week. In fact, it had been Ashley who had put a stop to it. But tonight, oh god. Ashley prayed the she hadn’t lost Spencer.
Spencer found herself standing in front of the mirror…again. She was fully clothed but for the first time, even through the darkness that enveloped the room, she could see all the scars.
Ashley sat on the same stool that she always sat on and sipped at the same drink she always ordered. She turned slightly and watched as the coupled danced. She wondered if they were as happy as they looked.
She was sitting on her bed. Her face buried in her hands. She slowly lifted her head and looked at her tear stained face in the mirror. She hated what looked back at her. Because of one event, she’d been torn down to this. A mere reflection of the person she was. She placed her hand on her bed and grabbed her pillow. Throwing it at the mirror, she let out a loud scream.
The brunette wanted to be one of those couples dancing. She wanted to be in Spencer’s arms, and feel the taller girl in her own arms. She wanted to be able to make everything ok for Spencer. But she was afraid that she’d just made it worse. That she’d just lost the one thing that meant more to her than anything.
She was on the floor now. Her own arms wrapped tightly around her. She found herself wishing that the arms were Ashley’s. But as the images from the nights events, mixed with the images that were burnt into her minds eye, she knew that her arms would have to do.
Ashley slowly got up and headed for the door. There was somewhere else wanted to be. Somewhere else she needed to be.
Spencer heard her bedroom door creek open. She knew that it wouldn’t be Ashley on the other side. And prepared herself to apologize to Chelsea.
Her eyes to the floor, Ashley was almost at the door. Nothing could stop her now. Nothing except the two people who suddenly appeared between her and the door.
The door swung open and the figure stood, silently, staring back at the broken blonde on the floor.
Ashley lifted her head and smiled weakly at the familiar faces that smiled at her.
The two girls, however far apart, however different their tones, said the same name. Chelsea.
A week passed and nothing more was said. Nothing about what had happened to Spencer. It was almost as if it hadn’t happened. Spencer was happy about that. She wanted to forget that it ever happened. She wanted to forget everything about the boy she once called a friend. Only that was almost impossible. Everywhere she went at school, he was there. Ashley never told her exactly what she’d done to Aiden, but from the bruises she could see, Spencer figured it out. She smiled at the thought of Ashley being her knight in shinning armor.
“Hey.” Spencer turned and saw the brunette walking toward her.
“Hey, yourself.”
“So, I was thinking, it’s Friday, and maybe you could come over for the weekend.” Spencer lowered her eyes to the ground. They hadn’t talked about it, but it still lingered there between them. “No pressure. We don’t have to do anything. I just, I miss you, Spence.”
“I know.” Spencer lifted her eyes to lock with Ashley’s. “And I miss you, but…”
“It’s ok. Some other time maybe.” Ashley smiled weakly.
“You know what? Yes. I’ll come over.” Ashley’s eyes lit up as she smiled.
~~
That night, they ate pizza while they watched Moulin Rouge for the fourth time. Of course, the other times, they’d never actually managed to finish it. But there was something different this time. Something that was being left unsaid, and it was pulling them apart. It was clear to see that both of the girls were trying to fight it. But the tension was building.
Spencer was leaning against Ashley. The brunettes legs draped over the blondes. Ashley slowly rubbed her fingers over Spencer’s hand. She felt it rising in her stomach. The need to touch Spencer and to feel her girlfriend touching her back was making everything else seem unimportant. She leant her head forward and kissed Spencer’s ear.
“Ash…” The brunette continued to kiss and nip at Spencer’s ear. “Ashley!” Spencer jumped away.
“What?”
“Stop.”
“Why?”
“I can’t…” Spencer slowly shook her head.
“I don’t get it. Last week when I didn’t know, you were all over me. This week, now that I do, I can’t touch you?”
“I just can’t, not now.”
“Spencer, this is crazy.”
“You just don’t get it.”
“No, I don’t. So, explain it to me.”
“Every time, I just…his face is…it’s everywhere, Ashley.”
“It’s not here.”
“But it is. For me.”
“So, why before…and not now?”
“I didn’t want you to know, Ashley. So, I tried to act like nothing was wrong.”
“I didn’t realize that keeping secrets from me turned you on.”
“What?” Spencer suddenly felt something rise in her stomach. “You think I was turned on? Ashley, have never been so repulsed in my life. Not by anything. I have never been so scared in my life. And felt so broken and alone!” She was yelling now. “And you think I was turned on?”
“Well, all I remember is you all over me.”
“Screw you, Ashley!” Spencer picked up her coat and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Ashley. I thought that you’d at least try to understand. That you’d be there for me, like all the times I’ve been there for you. I guess I was expecting to much from my girlfriend.” Spencer shook her head and stormed from Ashley’s house.
~~~
Spencer stormed into her house. Clay and Chelsea jumped apart and stared at her. Confused.
“Spence, are you ok?” Clay asked.
“I’m fine. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Spencer smiled weakly at her brother and his girlfriend before heading upstairs.
“Chelsea, I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Where are you going?”
“I need to make sure she’s ok.” Alarm bells sounded in Chelsea’s head.
“I’ll do it.” The girl rose to her feet and smiled reassuringly at her boyfriend. “It could just be a girly problem.” Clay made a face before smiling. He nodded and watched Chelsea head up the stairs.
She knocked on the door to Spencer’s room but didn’t wait for permission before entering.
“Spencer, are you really ok?”
“How could you tell her?”
“You’re mad at me?”
“Hell yes! You had no right!”
“No, you should’ve told her. She was so worried about you, Spencer.”
“Yeah, ok.” Her words dripped with sarcasm. “She didn’t need to know.”
“Spencer, I’m sorry that I told her, ok. But she needed to know. I thought it would help.”
“Yeah, you gave me your word, Chelsea. Now, it doesn’t mean anything. Nothing means anything.”
“Ok. I’m going to back and join Clay. If you need anything, just give me a yell.”
“Yeah, you’re definitely the person I’ll be calling when I’m in trouble.”
~~~
Ashley walked to the bar. She’d really screwed everything up. She was confused though. Spencer had been very forceful the previous week. In fact, it had been Ashley who had put a stop to it. But tonight, oh god. Ashley prayed the she hadn’t lost Spencer.
Spencer found herself standing in front of the mirror…again. She was fully clothed but for the first time, even through the darkness that enveloped the room, she could see all the scars.
Ashley sat on the same stool that she always sat on and sipped at the same drink she always ordered. She turned slightly and watched as the coupled danced. She wondered if they were as happy as they looked.
She was sitting on her bed. Her face buried in her hands. She slowly lifted her head and looked at her tear stained face in the mirror. She hated what looked back at her. Because of one event, she’d been torn down to this. A mere reflection of the person she was. She placed her hand on her bed and grabbed her pillow. Throwing it at the mirror, she let out a loud scream.
The brunette wanted to be one of those couples dancing. She wanted to be in Spencer’s arms, and feel the taller girl in her own arms. She wanted to be able to make everything ok for Spencer. But she was afraid that she’d just made it worse. That she’d just lost the one thing that meant more to her than anything.
She was on the floor now. Her own arms wrapped tightly around her. She found herself wishing that the arms were Ashley’s. But as the images from the nights events, mixed with the images that were burnt into her minds eye, she knew that her arms would have to do.
Ashley slowly got up and headed for the door. There was somewhere else wanted to be. Somewhere else she needed to be.
Spencer heard her bedroom door creek open. She knew that it wouldn’t be Ashley on the other side. And prepared herself to apologize to Chelsea.
Her eyes to the floor, Ashley was almost at the door. Nothing could stop her now. Nothing except the two people who suddenly appeared between her and the door.
The door swung open and the figure stood, silently, staring back at the broken blonde on the floor.
Ashley lifted her head and smiled weakly at the familiar faces that smiled at her.
The two girls, however far apart, however different their tones, said the same name. Chelsea.