Part of me believes your still alive. Conjuring up some dramatic life story, one event compiled upon the last. Little Skyler not so little now, and sharing your life with his. I don't know where you are. I didn't know where you were when you disappeared. When you left. But you're somewhere, that's just how you are. You disappear for a while. You'll ( Read more... )

every cell is tingling
every beat is racing
half instinctual beast
without connection to any earthly thing
I grab you
your body is my own
my body is free
each muscle matching it's counterpart in the other

I've never felt this alive
this free and complete
this faithful of the idea of soulmates
such a believer in love

i am new

we lie in silence

flesh flayed open to fit your wounds

like a bag of pebbles

heavy and meaningless

but hey at least I'm bleeding

thank God I'm bleeding

in between red and white blood cells

I'm so thankful for a burden to carry

better a workhorse than idle sheep

love must be red for a reason

The Talking Heads are awesome. I got a 160 gig ipod for my birthday which was a few days ago. I wish I had more time to just catalog and organize my music, and fill in the gaps in my library. I could do that all day. I have been doing it for a few hours today, actually ( Read more... )

You know
things used to be lighter. 
Nothing meant anything.
Now everything I look at is a symbol for something else.
All joined to a sense of memory, a familiarity. 
I think the only reason that happened is because age just implies more things floating around in your head with more associations to go with them. 
As a result everything just feels heavier ( Read more... )

I wish I would have bought candy instead of cigarettes.

I perpetuate my own tragedy. I make decisions, fully aware they will break me just a little more. Is it for some delusion of a greater good? Be honest. You just like the pain. You weren't ready to move away. You weren't ready to love again. and again. and again. JUST STOP, YOU COWARD Why can't you feel anything? Just stab closer to your heart ( Read more... )

I don't know how to cry. Not in the right ways. 
I can't move, but I've been moving too fast.
What's the stock decision here? What do people do when they are here?
There aren't textbook answers anymore. 
But were there ever?

At least I can still enjoy music. 
I don't think my spirit is broken yet...
I just need rest.

I'm conflicted. I should talk to ( Read more... )

I am a healer.

You were breaking. I sought you out because of this. You were pretty far gone. 23 and living with your parents. No ambition for an education. Your anxiety disorder was ruling your life. You were addicted to your anti-depressants. Just my type!

You are now healing. You've moved out, your classes are going well, you've worked very hard ( Read more... )

 I am suffocating myself. I'm drowning in my own filth.

Why do I have two cats, a dog, and soon to be a roommate in a two-bedroom apartment?
There's no room to breathe.

I haven't cleaned in at least a week or two.

I'm good at feigning happiness.

I'm good at being somewhere loud when my parents call to see what I'm up to.

I miss being thirteen, or ( Read more... )