my almost midsummer's resolution

[brokenblossom]

Often when I'm depressed, my instinctive reaction is to hide. I don't feel equipped for social interaction, I don't feel fit to be seen. I feel overwhelmingly and inherently guilty and ashamed, though I couldn't give you any real justification for those feelings, beyond a general sense of my own awfulness. Even during periods of the most

Comments

[mrs_leroy_brown]

I do know where you're coming from, hon. Try to take care of yourself.
x

[brokenblossom]

I'd say I'm glad someone does, but obviously I wish that no one at all had to feel like that, least of all the lovelies like you... :-/ I'll try...

[crunchcandy]

go for it! Even if you just post photos or dumb quiz's it means you are trying to stop yourself being a recluse.

[brokenblossom]

Posted today: 1 x photo, that I've made a half-arsed attempt at turning into a dumb quiz, ish? I feel slightly less of a hermit already!

[bluebellrock]

Glad to hear it, C. Regular writing helps me and I have to force it lately, but I'm glad I do. When I look back, I can see myself there. "There! I existed." I know what you mean about all the days slipping down the black hole the same as every other until there's this big mass of blackness behind you, indeterminate and undistinguishable from the black before it. Breaking it up into meaningful or meaningless detail can be a helpful point of reference for climbing out of depression. Something to grab onto. Writing about bugger-all is a good intention too, I firmly believe. Most of my favourite posts - of mine and of other people's - are the aimless, supposedly-'boring' ones. I don't know why. :)

xxx

PS: I more-than-understand the instinct you have to double-back on yourself or turn a fast street corner to avoid - of all people - a friend! Doesn't it sound insane? But it's not. I do these things all the bloody time.

[classytart]

I agree about the 'boring' posts - I love those the most.

I also understand the occasional dread of seeing people you know.

[randy_gibbons]

You are receiving help/treatment, I trust?

[lilygreene]

I think you have some good ideas and strategies here.... I don't want to say 'I know how you feel' because quite honestly I don't. All I know is that yep like many people I battle with depression and find making plans, decisions, small steps, helps me out, sometimes literally...