Comments | brokenharmonics: now you wonder why i always dress in black, why you never see bright colors on my back

brokenharmonics

now you wonder why i always dress in black, why you never see bright colors on my back

Jan 23, 2006 03:48

t's funny how many ways creativity can be sparked and expressed.
here's where i give the brief low down of 21 years of a life gone awry....which didnt start too far from there anyways.

it starts with these two kids who knew not what they were doing....they were toward the end of a sour relationship...it's a bout to end actually..and it should've... ( Read more... )

Comments 4

gen413 January 24 2006, 03:07:23 UTC

i like it, the beginning kinda sets it up in a very blunt direction and then the next paragraph moves it into a more flowery emotional...metaphorical rather than literal sense. i love both of the pieces individually, i'm just not sure if that was the way you wanted to take this piece. if the rest of the story to follow will be told in a sort of conflicted, emotionally disjointed way, this is an appropriate setup. if that's the case, then you should go back when you edit and make this tension between the two sides more forced in the intro so the reader gets a better feel for it's gravity and poignancy.

just a tip, if you post anything that you would ever consider publishing in any form, make it friends only, or throw it through some filter. anything that one needs to give a password to access is protected by copyright law, but if it's public anyone can read your journal and steal your shit.

good luck with editing, and get some sleep.

well... brokenharmonics January 25 2006, 01:24:17 UTC

the story itself is very emotionally disjointed...more true to life...mainly since the story is the last year and a half of my life....but with a different ending...and a bit of editing to make me look less like a jackass... BTW laura....i arrive in DC on march 29...you better pick me up.

UNITED AIRLINES INC flight 882
Departs: Wed, Mar 29 2006
From: Bangkok, TH (BKK) at 6:40AM
To: Chicago, IL, US (ORD) at 2:10PM

UNITED AIRLINES INC flight 620
Departs: Wed, Mar 29 2006
From: Chicago, IL, US (ORD) at 4:00PM
To: Washington, DC, US (DCA) at 6:48PM

Re: well... gen413 January 25 2006, 03:25:28 UTC

wheeeeee!

what airport is DCA?

Re: well... gen413 January 25 2006, 03:25:56 UTC

ps you should meet up with Pozzie when you're stopping over in Chicago