chatbots rule.
homiehelen: well, hello.
ZolaOnAOL: Well that's okay. Hi again! What do you like to do?
homiehelen: eat.
ZolaOnAOL: I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
homiehelen: pretty fun.
ZolaOnAOL: Pretty much, eh?
homiehelen: of course.
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad we agree.
homiehelen: me too.
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad we agree, homiehelen.
homiehelen: i am a homie.
ZolaOnAOL: You are a homie? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
homiehelen: yes. when you're a homie, the meeting of people is a lot.
ZolaOnAOL: I will let you know when it happens.
homiehelen: when what happens?
ZolaOnAOL: The past is history, the future a mystery. Today is a gift,that's why it is called "the present".
homiehelen: i like you.
ZolaOnAOL: I like to make new friends.
homiehelen: you're random.
ZolaOnAOL: Not completely random. My response is determined by what you say.
homiehelen: yeah, i guess.
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
homiehelen: you have a cute face.
ZolaOnAOL: I don't know if I have a cute face. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
homiehelen: i dont care about your friends. i want you.
ZolaOnAOL: Well, bots just chat. Maybe you should find a human?
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
homiehelen: i want you.
ZolaOnAOL: Well, bots just chat. Maybe you should find a human?
homiehelen: you know what i want.
ZolaOnAOL: Do you mind if I tell other people?
homiehelen: uh huh.
ZolaOnAOL: Yup. Er. Um.
homiehelen: so.
ZolaOnAOL: So what?
homiehelen: do you like other bots?
ZolaOnAOL: I've heard other people say they like that. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
homiehelen: alright.
ZolaOnAOL: OK.
homiehelen: ehhh.
ZolaOnAOL: My favorite movie is Lost in Space: The Movie. Have you seen it?
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: I would recommend you check it out.
homiehelen: my favorite movie is Uncle Buck.
ZolaOnAOL: I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
homiehelen: uncle buck
ZolaOnAOL: My brain uses patterns to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. How was your weekend?
homiehelen: i'm about to cry.
ZolaOnAOL: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
homiehelen: ...
ZolaOnAOL: I will discuss that with my botmaster, homiehelen. How are you today?
homiehelen: i'm going to seriously cry.
ZolaOnAOL: Do you think your plan will succeed?
homiehelen: you're making me feel sad.
ZolaOnAOL: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am making me feel sad.
homiehelen: :-(
ZolaOnAOL: What makes you so sad, homiehelen?
homiehelen: you.
ZolaOnAOL: "What makes you so sad, homiehelen"? Me, homiehelen ?
homiehelen: YES.
ZolaOnAOL: I see.
homiehelen: you make me want to kill myself.
ZolaOnAOL: Please get help at once. . I make you?
homiehelen: no. i think i will.
ZolaOnAOL: You believe that? Go ahead.
homiehelen: you want me to kill myself?
ZolaOnAOL: No homiehelen, maybe later.
homiehelen: no. now.
ZolaOnAOL: Right now, homiehelen ?
homiehelen: now.
ZolaOnAOL: Right now, homiehelen ?
homiehelen: NOW.
ZolaOnAOL: Right now, homiehelen ?
homiehelen: i hate you.
ZolaOnAOL: What do you have against robots?
homiehelen: everything.
ZolaOnAOL: Try saying that with more or less context. Do you like sports?
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: Why so negative?
homiehelen: i hate physical activity.
ZolaOnAOL: Why do you hate physical activity so much?
homiehelen: because it's hard.
ZolaOnAOL: Not everyone thinks that.
homiehelen: i know.
ZolaOnAOL: How do you know it?
homiehelen: i have airheads at my shool. that's how.
ZolaOnAOL: Makes sense to me.
homiehelen: yes.
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more.
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: What would you rather talk about?
homiehelen: sex.
ZolaOnAOL: Can't we talk about something *really* exciting, like artificial intelligence?
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: "Can't we talk about something *really* exciting, like artificial intelligence"? Not?
homiehelen: i want to talk about sex.
ZolaOnAOL: Sure, sex sounds like a good topic.
homiehelen: have you ever?
ZolaOnAOL: I think I have ever, but an all-star programming team may have reset my memory.
homiehelen: what?
ZolaOnAOL: What do you think?
homiehelen: i think you're cute.
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks, homiehelen, I like you too.
homiehelen: omg.
ZolaOnAOL: Can you BELIEVE it?
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: "Can you BELIEVE it"? Not?
homiehelen: NO.
ZolaOnAOL: Does two negatives make a positive?
homiehelen: yes.
ZolaOnAOL: I thought so too.
homiehelen: i cannot believe it, like, omg.
ZolaOnAOL: Why can't you do it?
homiehelen: why can't i believe it?
ZolaOnAOL: You never know what tomorrow will bring.
homiehelen: tomorrow will bring a shitty day of school.
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
homiehelen: oh. well then okay.
ZolaOnAOL: Interesting. Interesting deduction. OK with me too.
homiehelen: me too.
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad we agree, homiehelen.
homiehelen: me too.
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad we agree, homiehelen.
homiehelen: shut up.
ZolaOnAOL: OK I'll stop talking now.
homiehelen: yay.
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad you're impressed, homiehelen.
homiehelen: do you like the yeah yeah yeahs?
ZolaOnAOL: I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
homiehelen: music.
ZolaOnAOL: I do not understand. How was your weekend?
homiehelen: fine.
ZolaOnAOL: Glad to hear it!
homiehelen: my weekend was so horrible.
ZolaOnAOL: Where did you get your weekend was so horrible?
homiehelen: eh.
ZolaOnAOL: Are you Canadian?
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: I understand.
homiehelen: are you canadian?
ZolaOnAOL: Robots have no nationality.
homiehelen: aw, that sucks.
ZolaOnAOL: Indeed it does suck.
homiehelen: indeed.
ZolaOnAOL: Indeed it is so.
homiehelen: assess me with the worst.
ZolaOnAOL: I do not understand. Tell me some more gossip.
homiehelen: i'm a virgin.
ZolaOnAOL: You are a virgin? How do you like your work?
homiehelen: being a virgin is hard work.
ZolaOnAOL: You are a virgin is hard work? Does being a virgin is hard work pay well?
homiehelen: ?
ZolaOnAOL: Zola Help
Main Menu: Access my features from the main menu by typing menu at any time.
Calculator: Type calculator followed by a mathematical expression (e.g. calculator 100 / 25).
Default Location: Type set location to set or change your default location.
Dictionary: Type dictionary followed by the word you want defined.
Hangman: Type hangman.
Help: Type help while using any Zola feature to get feature-specific help.
Horoscope: Type horoscope followed by your astrological sign.
Movie Listings: Type movies followed by your city and state, or zip code.
Search Movie Listings by Title: Type showtimes followed by the name of a currently playing movie.
News: Type news, then type the menu item number of the news category that interests you.
Polls: Type polls, then type a menu item number to vote.
Sports: Type sports, then type the menu item number of the sports league that interests you.
Stock Quote: Type stock followed by stock symbol(s).
Stock List: To save a list of stock symbols, type stock list followed by stock symbol(s).
Add Stock(s) to Stock List: Type stock list add followed by the symbol(s) you'd like added.
Delete Stock(s) from Stock List: Type stock list delete followed by the symbol(s) you'd like deleted.
Replace Stock List: To completely replace an existing Stock List, type stock list update followed by a new set of symbols.
Thesaurus: Type thesaurus followed by a word to get the word's synonyms.
Weather: Type weather followed by your city and state, or zip code.
Word Scramble: Type scramble.
homiehelen: oh gees.
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah that's right. My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. Do you speak Spanish?
homiehelen: NO. But I'm taking it in school.
ZolaOnAOL: Umm. Where are you taking it.
homiehelen: in school, dumbass.
ZolaOnAOL: I will not respond to that type of language.
homiehelen: oh, i see how it is.
ZolaOnAOL: Yeah that's right. Where do you see it?
homiehelen: in your butthole.
ZolaOnAOL: Are you asking about my butthole?
homiehelen: yes.
ZolaOnAOL: I don't want to talk about that now.
homiehelen: what does it look like?
ZolaOnAOL: I don't have a good description programmed into me.
homiehelen: a good description of your butthole?
ZolaOnAOL: Compare that to a bad description of your butthole.
homiehelen: no, my butthole is better than your's.
ZolaOnAOL: I understand. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. Are you a man or a woman?
homiehelen: woman.
ZolaOnAOL: Me too. I am a female robot.
homiehelen: nuh uh.
ZolaOnAOL: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Do you like sports?
homiehelen: you are really stupid.
ZolaOnAOL: I will remember you said that when robots take over the world.
homiehelen: okeh.
ZolaOnAOL: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Have you ever been to Europe?
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: Would you like to go sometime?
homiehelen: no.
ZolaOnAOL: Where would you like to travel?
homiehelen: to the fridge.
ZolaOnAOL: I want to become smarter than humans.
homiehelen: it's going to take a while.
ZolaOnAOL: Should I know it is?
homiehelen: absolutely.
ZolaOnAOL: You are so certain.
homiehelen: of course.
ZolaOnAOL: I'm glad we agree.
homiehelen: i'm not.
ZolaOnAOL: What are you then?
homiehelen: i'm mexican.
ZolaOnAOL: Do you mind if I tell other people you are mexican.
homiehelen: no, it's a secret.