Assignments 1 and 2 for Brigham Young University Writing Portfolio

[broknkeeper]

Assignment 1: Extended Metaphor.

Fly-fishing with Grandpa

My life is exactly like a kid’s fly-fishing trip with his grandfather.  The grandpa puts his grandson in the middle of the river at the beginning of the day and teaches him how to bait his hook with what he’s got.  He watches as the child casts the hook in front of him, behind him,

Comments

[anonymous]

i dont want you to go

[broknkeeper]

I know, but remember, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
however, I'm taking the present moment and all I have in it, and recording it for those nights when I need to feel happy again. I do love it here, and part of me doesn't want to leave. However, I know that I'm destined for some really good things coming up. I think you are too.

*love*

cookie dough

[threnodyeris]

i'm glad you wrote this. rather, i'm glad you put it where i could read it.

these are the kind of stories i wish more people would use lj for.

these are the kinds of stories that are the reason i want to get to know people. my idea of who a person is is wrapped up in the idea that they are a collection of the stories that made them, and so i feel a little closer to people, when i know more of their stories.

since this was a school assignment, i was reading it with an editorial eye (me and my older, or my older brother and me, but not myself and my older brother -- sorry to be a prig)
and i thought the ending of the Snoopy piece could have been subtler instead of a reiteration of the point of the whole piece.

so. there is my praise and criticism. do with it what you will.

hugs and kisses,
twig (v.)

Re: cookie dough

[rampagingcarrot]

these are the kind of stories i wish more people would use lj for.

these are the kinds of stories that are the reason i want to get to know people. my idea of who a person is is wrapped up in the idea that they are a collection of the stories that made them, and so i feel a little closer to people, when i know more of their stories.

Well put! I wonder if I share your enthusiasm for these stories; It has been a long time since I spent a lot time looking for people's different livejournals. And I have heard precious little of them from the people around me today.

I feel almost nostalgic reading Keeper's stories. How does she remember her life so long ago? Perhaps if I had made mine more interesting...

Re: cookie dough

[rampagingcarrot]

since this was a school assignment, i was reading it with an editorial eye (me and my older, or my older brother and me, but not myself and my older brother -- sorry to be a prig)
and i thought the ending of the Snoopy piece could have been subtler instead of a reiteration of the point of the whole piece.

so. there is my praise and criticism. do with it what you will.

Praise and criticism are what we hope for. Keeper should be happy for it (as I'm sure she is, but I figure I shouldn't speak for her so blatantly).

Re: cookie dough

[broknkeeper]

Thank you so much for both the praise and criticism... I haven't written in a while, so it feels good to get some feed back upon returning from a writing break.

upon looking back over the piece, You're definately right... I just have to find out how to be more subtle :-D

I haven't turned these in yet (it's for an online course that wraps up on April 2), so thanks for pulling that to my attention.

You rock my sox.