The Wolowitz Diary
January 1st 2010:
Super Smart Doctor Crazy gave me a diary for the New Year. Gave one at each of us actually. Quite ridiculous. I wonder what he could be writing. Probably how to build friends... Anyway, glad to see am starting the year with a girlfriend. Bernadette is cool, I hope tonight will be THE night, if you know what I mean....
January 2nd 2010:
Maybe it's not a bad idea. Raj tried to steal it but Sheldon sees and hears everything. Damn his Vulcan ears. Maybe he's a robot. And now Raj is happy because he calls his diary a woman and was happy to tell me "Look! I can speak to women!". Poor bastard.
January 4th 2010:
Whoops, missed a day. I got at 10th base. Yep, totally got her into the sack!! Wolowitz : one; Howard : zero!
January 21 2010:
Missed plenty of days! Got a very strict lecture from Sheldon. It's a lot more annoying than his frigging strikes. Bernadette told me she loved me...I think I love her too. Might wanna tell her tomorrow.
January 23 2010:
Finally told her! Sayin' I love you to a girl equals amazing sex! Leonard had a fight with Penny again. I blame him. Having a hot chick who's willing to have sex with him for free is not something you should complain about. She's tired of their "relationship".
January 30 2010:
Almost February. You know what that means=Valentine's Day! L and P got back together. *Sigh*
February 14th 2010:
L and P had a huge fight. P chose Sheldon for God's sake! Apparently he gave her a hug. Dr Whack-a-doodle gave a hug to Penny. They got sick and spent Valentine's together. She slept on his shoulder, he let her. Leonard is in Switzerland. What a douche. As for the amazing Howard, he bought a certain type of ring to the most amazing girl.
February 28 2010:
L and P finally broke up. Sheldon looked happier than he should have been...I should be more concerned, right? Raj gave him the thumbs up. Since they work together they became partners in crime.
April 3rd 2010:
I left my diary for a month! Didn't tell Sheldon. But he's writing in his diary like a pinguin under absynth. Yes, that's an expression. Also, Bernadette bought a dress. Not supposed to see it until the Big Day. Made a deal. Not having sex until the Big Day. Oh boy. Penny spends most of her free time with Sheldon. He doesn't look bothered...
April 20 2010:
L is depressed. He bought a cat. Ha ha, Sheldon is so gonna kick his ass!
April 21 2010:
What the frack? Sheldon didn't complain. Also, P is now his confident. Raj feels left out. My time is free now since I agreed on that stupid deal! I know it's been a day but Daddy needs his sugar.
May 4th 2010:
Raj met a girl! She's shy like him. Will be fun! L also met someone. He's not ready yet. He's whinning over P. Wow, big surprise there buddy! Noticed S spent most of his time at P's. Wonder what they're doing in there...
May 10 2010:
I'm getting married! My mom made a brisket. I will finally leave my personal hell. And i will get laiiiiddd on my honeymoon. We're going to Israel. Raj is my best man. And i'm not gay but S looked gorgeous in that suit. I'm not the only one. P seemed interested. L was not.
June 22 2010:
Got back from the honeymoon. That was awesome! But there's one thing i'm curious abt. What happened while i was gone?
June 23 2010:
Ok, here's my report. Thanks Raj, btw. So apparently L gave the girl he met a chance. They have plenty in common. S smiled at him and went straight to P's. And-and that's where i almost choked-she kissed him. Ok so after i woke up, they broke apart and it seemed like neither of them planned for it to happen. S was taken aback. Get this: P had feelings for S for a while now...L just slammed the door at S's face. Yeah sure buddy, give your arch enemy the opportuny to nail your ex gf! Way to go! However, he eventually gave in and agreed to say that they made more sense than him and P ever did. Huh, whatever. S apologized and said "Penny and I have developed a new friendship paradigm in which she gave me confidences" etc etc etc. Long story short, he likes her. Yes, Dr Sheldon Cooper likes a girl. Not just any girl. Penny!
July 5th 2010:
S and P-or as i call them, Shenelope- are in a "new paradigm in which they exchange more than words". No, they havent' had sex yet. P is willing to give S the time he needs. Come on, i said "you're a guy! she's hoot!". Then Bernadette frowned. I apologized.
July 12 2010:
Bernadette is pregnant! Daddy's gonna be a real dad! Raj had sex with his gf. Her name is Shalen. She's an Indian girl like him. He told me she thought he was gay and with me. So huh, is Beverly Hofstader in town or something?
July 13 2010:
L wants to live with gf. P told him it was too soon. She's right of course but he can be stubborn. S asked P to live with him if that happens. Then she told L to go for it. LOL.
September 2nd 2010:
L moved out. Bernadette started to have pregnancy symptoms. She wants strawberries in the middle of the night. P packed her stuff to live with S. Will they finally hook up??
September 22 2010:
Sheldon, come on!!!!
October 3rd 2010:
What the fuck Sheldon? P walks around in her underwear and you don't make a single move? Has he ever passed 1st base?
October 4th 2010:
P woke up all giddy. I guess S gave her the night of her life. About time! Bernadette has become bipolar. JK but she's driving me nuts! Raj speaks with her gf btw. No they're not freaks.
Christmas Eve 2010:
So S didn't look like he bought something for P. Bernadette is good now. Found out that L was happy with Helen. Good for him. P bought a very rare edition of The Flash. She can thank me, L and Raj for that!
December 25 2010:
Holy shit, S proposed to P! that was his present! she sobbed and finally said "I do". I didn't cry. Like, at all. If you say i did, i would deny it.
New Year's Eve:
Last month for the diary. That was fun i guess. I read S's diary...Quite interesting. P made me read hers. Or i stole it whatever. Even more interesting. Raj? No idea. L never wrote in it because of his break up and his new love. That was a good year. You know, if you look at the whole picture. Expecting a boy soon! Will call him Han. *Wink wink*
New Year:
It's over. It's 2011. Only a year to wait for the next Star Trek movie. S created a calendar for the event. P bought a white dress, even though the wedding is in June. Yep, i'm a model for my nerdmigos. Bye bye diary, hello Twitter!
Gave up the name "Shenelope". No, i'm not like that. They're not traditional, they're...as S put it: a paradox. Yeah right, call it whatever you want, it's freaking love. Scratch that. We're all in love now. No more crazy bachelor parties. Except for S. Expecting a ride at the Comic Book Store and maybe a movie if we're lucky. Boy, he's wild! There, it's the last page. Au revoir.
Super Smart Doctor Crazy gave me a diary for the New Year. Gave one at each of us actually. Quite ridiculous. I wonder what he could be writing. Probably how to build friends... Anyway, glad to see am starting the year with a girlfriend. Bernadette is cool, I hope tonight will be THE night, if you know what I mean....
January 2nd 2010:
Maybe it's not a bad idea. Raj tried to steal it but Sheldon sees and hears everything. Damn his Vulcan ears. Maybe he's a robot. And now Raj is happy because he calls his diary a woman and was happy to tell me "Look! I can speak to women!". Poor bastard.
January 4th 2010:
Whoops, missed a day. I got at 10th base. Yep, totally got her into the sack!! Wolowitz : one; Howard : zero!
January 21 2010:
Missed plenty of days! Got a very strict lecture from Sheldon. It's a lot more annoying than his frigging strikes. Bernadette told me she loved me...I think I love her too. Might wanna tell her tomorrow.
January 23 2010:
Finally told her! Sayin' I love you to a girl equals amazing sex! Leonard had a fight with Penny again. I blame him. Having a hot chick who's willing to have sex with him for free is not something you should complain about. She's tired of their "relationship".
January 30 2010:
Almost February. You know what that means=Valentine's Day! L and P got back together. *Sigh*
February 14th 2010:
L and P had a huge fight. P chose Sheldon for God's sake! Apparently he gave her a hug. Dr Whack-a-doodle gave a hug to Penny. They got sick and spent Valentine's together. She slept on his shoulder, he let her. Leonard is in Switzerland. What a douche. As for the amazing Howard, he bought a certain type of ring to the most amazing girl.
February 28 2010:
L and P finally broke up. Sheldon looked happier than he should have been...I should be more concerned, right? Raj gave him the thumbs up. Since they work together they became partners in crime.
April 3rd 2010:
I left my diary for a month! Didn't tell Sheldon. But he's writing in his diary like a pinguin under absynth. Yes, that's an expression. Also, Bernadette bought a dress. Not supposed to see it until the Big Day. Made a deal. Not having sex until the Big Day. Oh boy. Penny spends most of her free time with Sheldon. He doesn't look bothered...
April 20 2010:
L is depressed. He bought a cat. Ha ha, Sheldon is so gonna kick his ass!
April 21 2010:
What the frack? Sheldon didn't complain. Also, P is now his confident. Raj feels left out. My time is free now since I agreed on that stupid deal! I know it's been a day but Daddy needs his sugar.
May 4th 2010:
Raj met a girl! She's shy like him. Will be fun! L also met someone. He's not ready yet. He's whinning over P. Wow, big surprise there buddy! Noticed S spent most of his time at P's. Wonder what they're doing in there...
May 10 2010:
I'm getting married! My mom made a brisket. I will finally leave my personal hell. And i will get laiiiiddd on my honeymoon. We're going to Israel. Raj is my best man. And i'm not gay but S looked gorgeous in that suit. I'm not the only one. P seemed interested. L was not.
June 22 2010:
Got back from the honeymoon. That was awesome! But there's one thing i'm curious abt. What happened while i was gone?
June 23 2010:
Ok, here's my report. Thanks Raj, btw. So apparently L gave the girl he met a chance. They have plenty in common. S smiled at him and went straight to P's. And-and that's where i almost choked-she kissed him. Ok so after i woke up, they broke apart and it seemed like neither of them planned for it to happen. S was taken aback. Get this: P had feelings for S for a while now...L just slammed the door at S's face. Yeah sure buddy, give your arch enemy the opportuny to nail your ex gf! Way to go! However, he eventually gave in and agreed to say that they made more sense than him and P ever did. Huh, whatever. S apologized and said "Penny and I have developed a new friendship paradigm in which she gave me confidences" etc etc etc. Long story short, he likes her. Yes, Dr Sheldon Cooper likes a girl. Not just any girl. Penny!
July 5th 2010:
S and P-or as i call them, Shenelope- are in a "new paradigm in which they exchange more than words". No, they havent' had sex yet. P is willing to give S the time he needs. Come on, i said "you're a guy! she's hoot!". Then Bernadette frowned. I apologized.
July 12 2010:
Bernadette is pregnant! Daddy's gonna be a real dad! Raj had sex with his gf. Her name is Shalen. She's an Indian girl like him. He told me she thought he was gay and with me. So huh, is Beverly Hofstader in town or something?
July 13 2010:
L wants to live with gf. P told him it was too soon. She's right of course but he can be stubborn. S asked P to live with him if that happens. Then she told L to go for it. LOL.
September 2nd 2010:
L moved out. Bernadette started to have pregnancy symptoms. She wants strawberries in the middle of the night. P packed her stuff to live with S. Will they finally hook up??
September 22 2010:
Sheldon, come on!!!!
October 3rd 2010:
What the fuck Sheldon? P walks around in her underwear and you don't make a single move? Has he ever passed 1st base?
October 4th 2010:
P woke up all giddy. I guess S gave her the night of her life. About time! Bernadette has become bipolar. JK but she's driving me nuts! Raj speaks with her gf btw. No they're not freaks.
Christmas Eve 2010:
So S didn't look like he bought something for P. Bernadette is good now. Found out that L was happy with Helen. Good for him. P bought a very rare edition of The Flash. She can thank me, L and Raj for that!
December 25 2010:
Holy shit, S proposed to P! that was his present! she sobbed and finally said "I do". I didn't cry. Like, at all. If you say i did, i would deny it.
New Year's Eve:
Last month for the diary. That was fun i guess. I read S's diary...Quite interesting. P made me read hers. Or i stole it whatever. Even more interesting. Raj? No idea. L never wrote in it because of his break up and his new love. That was a good year. You know, if you look at the whole picture. Expecting a boy soon! Will call him Han. *Wink wink*
New Year:
It's over. It's 2011. Only a year to wait for the next Star Trek movie. S created a calendar for the event. P bought a white dress, even though the wedding is in June. Yep, i'm a model for my nerdmigos. Bye bye diary, hello Twitter!
Gave up the name "Shenelope". No, i'm not like that. They're not traditional, they're...as S put it: a paradox. Yeah right, call it whatever you want, it's freaking love. Scratch that. We're all in love now. No more crazy bachelor parties. Except for S. Expecting a ride at the Comic Book Store and maybe a movie if we're lucky. Boy, he's wild! There, it's the last page. Au revoir.