Right and yet so wrong 2/?
Nothing is constant.
He should know that. Hell, he's supposed to *be* like that. Not feeling anything because he's awesome. That's his reputation dammit.
But when he looks at her across the booth, ke knows with all his being that he screw up somehow. They are barely friends. They barely aknowledge each other. He misses her and he sees her everyday.
He misses every fiber of her skin, the smell of her, her Canadian accent twang when she was angry or horny. He's the only one to know that she screams in bed things he doesn't understand. Because he made her feel complete. And it ended too soon. So he was being the old-good Barney, the one who bangs chicks faster that Tony Stark, the one who drinks scotch and smokes cigar, the one who's disgusting and that his friends call out when he's being a jerk. Which happens to be all the time since their break-up.
How could he have missed her misery? How could he walked past her, ignoring her tears? How could he have been such a jackass when she thought she was the only one who cared? He cared. More than she imagined. More than he was willing to admit. He threw up when he heard for God's sake! The balance was restored somehow then. He gave her the Super Date. And it had felt the right thing to do. Because she deserved a nice guy for a change. Don seemed to be 'the one". Hell, even Marshall had a crush on the guy.
So he had met him. And hated him right there and now. Polite smiles. Funny anedoctes from work. Sideways glances at Robin, who flushed and giggled. She had a crush on the guy too. Thank to him. Because he gave her this stupid Super Date that Ted planned. Ted who was also plaining Robin's wedding. His stomach lurches. The monster is alive. Jealousy.
Nothing is constant.
He wants to punch him in the face, shake Robin. He's not a nice guy. He felt it. So why does everybody else keep repeating how perfect he is?
"Because he is, Barney" Lily says plainly.
Rolls his eyes. Anger. Jealousy. Hands into fists when he thinks about him. Him touching her. His lips on her lips. His body upon her. He shudders. That scares him. He wants to throw TVs again. But he liked Ted back then. Ted was his best friend. Don was a jock who meant nothing to him. Will people notice if Don disappears?...Robin will. And she will hate him for that.
So he waits. And one day she calls him for laser tag and scotch. She had a fight with Don. And he says yes. He listens to her. Smiles at her, jokes with her. Gives her a high-five and wishes her a goodnight.
The next morning she's happy as a cloud. So he gives her a fist bump and even then he feels that connection, that spark. Their eyes meet in that brief moment. She half opens her mouth but the rest of the guys arrive and they pretend nothing happened.
And they wanna know everything. And Barney knows that she's not as happy as she seems to be. He's the only one to notice too. They keep exchanging glances, flush coming to her cheeks. Something in him wakes up. He loved this woman for a all year. All wasted because of him. Because they were pretending to be people they were not.
And he thinks that maybe there is hope yet. The way she looks at him, her smell, her smile, this gloam in her eyes. He smiles, genuine and honest to let her know he's ready now. And they won't listen to their friends anymore.
All he has to do now is wait. So he waits. Until the innevitable end comes. Patience will pay off. Because she's worth every beat, every mile.
Because he wants her to smile like that again. Because he cares. He loves. More importantly, he loves her.
He should know that. Hell, he's supposed to *be* like that. Not feeling anything because he's awesome. That's his reputation dammit.
But when he looks at her across the booth, ke knows with all his being that he screw up somehow. They are barely friends. They barely aknowledge each other. He misses her and he sees her everyday.
He misses every fiber of her skin, the smell of her, her Canadian accent twang when she was angry or horny. He's the only one to know that she screams in bed things he doesn't understand. Because he made her feel complete. And it ended too soon. So he was being the old-good Barney, the one who bangs chicks faster that Tony Stark, the one who drinks scotch and smokes cigar, the one who's disgusting and that his friends call out when he's being a jerk. Which happens to be all the time since their break-up.
How could he have missed her misery? How could he walked past her, ignoring her tears? How could he have been such a jackass when she thought she was the only one who cared? He cared. More than she imagined. More than he was willing to admit. He threw up when he heard for God's sake! The balance was restored somehow then. He gave her the Super Date. And it had felt the right thing to do. Because she deserved a nice guy for a change. Don seemed to be 'the one". Hell, even Marshall had a crush on the guy.
So he had met him. And hated him right there and now. Polite smiles. Funny anedoctes from work. Sideways glances at Robin, who flushed and giggled. She had a crush on the guy too. Thank to him. Because he gave her this stupid Super Date that Ted planned. Ted who was also plaining Robin's wedding. His stomach lurches. The monster is alive. Jealousy.
Nothing is constant.
He wants to punch him in the face, shake Robin. He's not a nice guy. He felt it. So why does everybody else keep repeating how perfect he is?
"Because he is, Barney" Lily says plainly.
Rolls his eyes. Anger. Jealousy. Hands into fists when he thinks about him. Him touching her. His lips on her lips. His body upon her. He shudders. That scares him. He wants to throw TVs again. But he liked Ted back then. Ted was his best friend. Don was a jock who meant nothing to him. Will people notice if Don disappears?...Robin will. And she will hate him for that.
So he waits. And one day she calls him for laser tag and scotch. She had a fight with Don. And he says yes. He listens to her. Smiles at her, jokes with her. Gives her a high-five and wishes her a goodnight.
The next morning she's happy as a cloud. So he gives her a fist bump and even then he feels that connection, that spark. Their eyes meet in that brief moment. She half opens her mouth but the rest of the guys arrive and they pretend nothing happened.
And they wanna know everything. And Barney knows that she's not as happy as she seems to be. He's the only one to notice too. They keep exchanging glances, flush coming to her cheeks. Something in him wakes up. He loved this woman for a all year. All wasted because of him. Because they were pretending to be people they were not.
And he thinks that maybe there is hope yet. The way she looks at him, her smell, her smile, this gloam in her eyes. He smiles, genuine and honest to let her know he's ready now. And they won't listen to their friends anymore.
All he has to do now is wait. So he waits. Until the innevitable end comes. Patience will pay off. Because she's worth every beat, every mile.
Because he wants her to smile like that again. Because he cares. He loves. More importantly, he loves her.