Jalex: the truth about us 4/?
At school, she keeps thinking about him. She doesn’t pay attention in class (well it’s kind of a habit so Harper doesn’t call her out on that) and tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach whenever she catches sight of him. She’s mad at him. That’s all. He makes her mad, pushing her buttons. Wait. That’s her role. She’s the annoying little sister who makes his life miserable. He wants to go to L.A to study because it’s the perfect university for him, but really, she knows it’s because he wants to get away from her as much as possible.
‘Alex?’
She comes back to reality. Harper must have said her name several times given the worried look on her face.
‘What are you thinking about?’
‘Justin’ she says automatically and she curses herself. She bites her bottom lip hard until it bleeds and she sighs, dropping her back bag.
Harper’s eyes widen. Sure they fight a lot. And she talks about Justin sometimes. She usually avoids it because Harper is crazy about him (literally) and the subject is not about her anymore but Justin.
‘What about Justin?’ Harper asks casually even though she’s grinning like an idiot.
Alex loves the girl but sometimes she just wants to punch her in the face. Justin was and never will be interested in Harper. So why bother? He’s only a guy. For Harper anyway. To Alex he’s much more than that but she hates to admit it.
‘We…had a fight’. Leave it at that, she hopes but Harper is not the kind of person who gives up.
‘You’re siblings. Of course you fight. But you never looked so…I don’t even know how to transcribe this expression’
Alex groans. Groans. Really, way to be a girl.
‘Yeah but, it’s different’. And she can’t explain how different it is to Harper because even she knows how bad it will sound, how wrong and gross and Harper would go running to the hills (is it a bad thing or a good thing? Bad, she’s her best friend).
‘Did he lecture you on your lack of studying?’ Harper offers and for the first time Alex misses Justin’s lectures. It was way more simple back then.
‘No’ she answers because she can’t think of a better thing to say.
‘He’s coming’
Alex follows Harper’s gaze and yep, there he is, walking straight to her, indifference in his eyes. She wants to cry right there but she fights back the tears. She’s being ridiculous.
‘Alex, I need a favor’
Her jaw drops. Really? A favor? After what happened? She hates him then, for real this time.
‘Sure’ she says darkly, crossing her arms over her chest. If she could perform magic in public, she would have turned him into something useless. Like a book or something. Or a comic book. Yeah, better. He loves them.
‘Juliet wants to go out tonight and she asked me to wear something nice. I need you to,’ (he swallows hard) ‘go shopping with me’
Well, isn’t he just cute? Asking her advice on how to seduce the girl (a vampire, she reminds herself) when he kissed her lips the day before. Harper is making a face but it’s Harper, and she loves Justin, so that’s normal. Her? Not so much. But again, she’s a wizard. Nothing is normal in their family. She tries to smile but can’t quite bring herself to it.
‘Meet me at 4’ she says absently, trying to remain calm and indifferent. Just like he’s being right now.
‘Thanks Alex!’ And he smiles. She wants to hit him until he crawls into the floor but Harper is right there and you know, their parents would get mad. And she’d be grounded. Not gonna happen.
He starts to walk away but she can’t hold it anymore.
‘Have you had a breakdown or something?’ she yells at him and she hears Harper squeak and Justin’s face fall. Good. That’s what she wanted. Her eyes are darker than ever and Justin takes a step closer, carefully.
‘Excuse me?’ he says, his voice cracking a little. That’s…hot?
(She’s so not going there)
‘You heard me’
‘Yes, but you’re being insane right now so let me catch up with you’
‘You know what? Never mind. Just go’
He raises his eyebrows, the ‘My sister is crazy’ look and that is when it hits her. Hard and unexpected rage. Harper sighs behind her, thinking it’s over. Far from it.
‘YOU CAN’T PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED (comma) JUSTIN!’
Her entire body is shaking with anger, sadness and frustration and the whole school is staring now. Justin is bewildered. He’s never seen her so out of control. Tears are rolling down her face and she wipes them away with annoyance.
‘Calm down Alex’ he says, reasoning her, always the big brother.
‘I’m tired of pretending’
And really, does she want to talk about it in front of everyone? The anger is stronger. Justin is gesturing for her to come with him so she does. He grabs her hand violently, mumbling under his breath. He presses her into a corner, glancing nervously behind his shoulder until he’s sure no one’s here. Then he looks into her eyes and she shivers. Just a little. His eyes are dark and her gaze drifts onto his mouth. She can’t help it.
(So sue her. He may be Justin but he’s still a guy. If she stops thinking, he’s just a hot guy. Way too close)
(He must know what he’s doing to her, right?)
‘Alex, I told you I didn’t want to talk about it’ His voice is odd and he looks like a grown up. He’ll leave soon. Scary realization as she takes his hand.
‘Oh and since you’re the man, I don’t get a say in this?’
‘Not this time Alex’
His breath is hot and he’s standing too close to her. She feels uncomfortable. Around her brother. It’s not weird, is it?
‘Just, say something. Anything’ Her tone is pleading.
He cups her face gently, then he deeply says, ‘No’.
Her body is shaking for other various reasons.
‘Please Justin, I made a mistake. Just talk to me’
She can see his brain listing the pros and cons on having this conversation and she gets a headache just thinking about all the stuff he keeps in there. Equations, science and spells.
‘Fine’ he gives in and she straightens a little, not letting go of his hand though. ‘I feel terrible’
‘It’s not your fault’ she answers, like she’s some kind of robot, ‘I used magic’
Lies. Always lies. He nods quietly, rubbing a hand through his hair. Now he’s disheveled. Great. Like she needed to be turned on by her own brother.
‘No, I’m supposed to protect you. If you mess up a spell and go on kissing anybody then you…’
Uh. Why is it so quiet? And oh okay. She was staring at him like a wild animal. Again, she can’t help it. And how long has she been staring? The look on his face is priceless and she would laugh if it wasn’t so awkward and tense.
‘You’re still under it?’
‘I’m not under anything!’ she defends herself and he jumps. ‘I mean (she has to find a way to get away with it), what are you talking about…bro?’
He raises his eyebrow and sighs, dropping her hand. She suddenly feels cold and empty and she knows it’s not a good sign.
‘Never mind. I should go. I have a class to go to’
‘Now?’
‘Hence the ‘I should go’’ Justin says with a grin.
‘It’s way too early for you to say ‘hence’. See you at 4?’
‘Sure Alex’
Holding her hesitantly, he whispers ‘thank you’ and she’s pretty sure her knees just broke because there’s no way she can walk after that. Are you supposed to react like that when you like someone? She never felt this way for Mason. Something is seriously wrong with her. She squeezes him tightly and she could spend the day in his arms. He clears his throat and she can see that he let go of her. She chuckles (always avoiding the fight, always pretending) and releases him.
‘We’ll go shopping and then I’ll help you’
‘Help me with what?’ she frowns, wrinkling her nose. He sighs loudly. She cracks a smile because for the first time since the day before she sees her brother, and it feels so good she wants to laugh and jump.
‘The spell you cast on yourself you idiot,’ his tone is full with affection. So nice.
‘Oh yeah, the spell, sure’ (So what? Maybe she won’t tell him, maybe she will)
(For now he’s her brother. He’s the only thing constant in her life. He’ll never leave her. Never)
He walks away, heading to some classroom (she barely knows what classes she’s taking, how would she know about his) and Harper joins her, confused and concerned. Alex shrugs, says something about magic and siblings issues and Harper listens, glowing anytime she hears ‘Justin’ and bouncing when she sees Zeke (seriously, this girl is a paradox all in herself) but Alex feels so alive she doesn’t care.
She counts the hours and when the time comes, she almost runs to the hallway, ignoring Harper’s protests. He’s already here, always right on time, always here. Maybe she doesn’t know what’s going on, but she’s happy because he’s her brother and he loves her.
This is what she knows. The rest will resolve itself.
‘Alex?’
She comes back to reality. Harper must have said her name several times given the worried look on her face.
‘What are you thinking about?’
‘Justin’ she says automatically and she curses herself. She bites her bottom lip hard until it bleeds and she sighs, dropping her back bag.
Harper’s eyes widen. Sure they fight a lot. And she talks about Justin sometimes. She usually avoids it because Harper is crazy about him (literally) and the subject is not about her anymore but Justin.
‘What about Justin?’ Harper asks casually even though she’s grinning like an idiot.
Alex loves the girl but sometimes she just wants to punch her in the face. Justin was and never will be interested in Harper. So why bother? He’s only a guy. For Harper anyway. To Alex he’s much more than that but she hates to admit it.
‘We…had a fight’. Leave it at that, she hopes but Harper is not the kind of person who gives up.
‘You’re siblings. Of course you fight. But you never looked so…I don’t even know how to transcribe this expression’
Alex groans. Groans. Really, way to be a girl.
‘Yeah but, it’s different’. And she can’t explain how different it is to Harper because even she knows how bad it will sound, how wrong and gross and Harper would go running to the hills (is it a bad thing or a good thing? Bad, she’s her best friend).
‘Did he lecture you on your lack of studying?’ Harper offers and for the first time Alex misses Justin’s lectures. It was way more simple back then.
‘No’ she answers because she can’t think of a better thing to say.
‘He’s coming’
Alex follows Harper’s gaze and yep, there he is, walking straight to her, indifference in his eyes. She wants to cry right there but she fights back the tears. She’s being ridiculous.
‘Alex, I need a favor’
Her jaw drops. Really? A favor? After what happened? She hates him then, for real this time.
‘Sure’ she says darkly, crossing her arms over her chest. If she could perform magic in public, she would have turned him into something useless. Like a book or something. Or a comic book. Yeah, better. He loves them.
‘Juliet wants to go out tonight and she asked me to wear something nice. I need you to,’ (he swallows hard) ‘go shopping with me’
Well, isn’t he just cute? Asking her advice on how to seduce the girl (a vampire, she reminds herself) when he kissed her lips the day before. Harper is making a face but it’s Harper, and she loves Justin, so that’s normal. Her? Not so much. But again, she’s a wizard. Nothing is normal in their family. She tries to smile but can’t quite bring herself to it.
‘Meet me at 4’ she says absently, trying to remain calm and indifferent. Just like he’s being right now.
‘Thanks Alex!’ And he smiles. She wants to hit him until he crawls into the floor but Harper is right there and you know, their parents would get mad. And she’d be grounded. Not gonna happen.
He starts to walk away but she can’t hold it anymore.
‘Have you had a breakdown or something?’ she yells at him and she hears Harper squeak and Justin’s face fall. Good. That’s what she wanted. Her eyes are darker than ever and Justin takes a step closer, carefully.
‘Excuse me?’ he says, his voice cracking a little. That’s…hot?
(She’s so not going there)
‘You heard me’
‘Yes, but you’re being insane right now so let me catch up with you’
‘You know what? Never mind. Just go’
He raises his eyebrows, the ‘My sister is crazy’ look and that is when it hits her. Hard and unexpected rage. Harper sighs behind her, thinking it’s over. Far from it.
‘YOU CAN’T PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED (comma) JUSTIN!’
Her entire body is shaking with anger, sadness and frustration and the whole school is staring now. Justin is bewildered. He’s never seen her so out of control. Tears are rolling down her face and she wipes them away with annoyance.
‘Calm down Alex’ he says, reasoning her, always the big brother.
‘I’m tired of pretending’
And really, does she want to talk about it in front of everyone? The anger is stronger. Justin is gesturing for her to come with him so she does. He grabs her hand violently, mumbling under his breath. He presses her into a corner, glancing nervously behind his shoulder until he’s sure no one’s here. Then he looks into her eyes and she shivers. Just a little. His eyes are dark and her gaze drifts onto his mouth. She can’t help it.
(So sue her. He may be Justin but he’s still a guy. If she stops thinking, he’s just a hot guy. Way too close)
(He must know what he’s doing to her, right?)
‘Alex, I told you I didn’t want to talk about it’ His voice is odd and he looks like a grown up. He’ll leave soon. Scary realization as she takes his hand.
‘Oh and since you’re the man, I don’t get a say in this?’
‘Not this time Alex’
His breath is hot and he’s standing too close to her. She feels uncomfortable. Around her brother. It’s not weird, is it?
‘Just, say something. Anything’ Her tone is pleading.
He cups her face gently, then he deeply says, ‘No’.
Her body is shaking for other various reasons.
‘Please Justin, I made a mistake. Just talk to me’
She can see his brain listing the pros and cons on having this conversation and she gets a headache just thinking about all the stuff he keeps in there. Equations, science and spells.
‘Fine’ he gives in and she straightens a little, not letting go of his hand though. ‘I feel terrible’
‘It’s not your fault’ she answers, like she’s some kind of robot, ‘I used magic’
Lies. Always lies. He nods quietly, rubbing a hand through his hair. Now he’s disheveled. Great. Like she needed to be turned on by her own brother.
‘No, I’m supposed to protect you. If you mess up a spell and go on kissing anybody then you…’
Uh. Why is it so quiet? And oh okay. She was staring at him like a wild animal. Again, she can’t help it. And how long has she been staring? The look on his face is priceless and she would laugh if it wasn’t so awkward and tense.
‘You’re still under it?’
‘I’m not under anything!’ she defends herself and he jumps. ‘I mean (she has to find a way to get away with it), what are you talking about…bro?’
He raises his eyebrow and sighs, dropping her hand. She suddenly feels cold and empty and she knows it’s not a good sign.
‘Never mind. I should go. I have a class to go to’
‘Now?’
‘Hence the ‘I should go’’ Justin says with a grin.
‘It’s way too early for you to say ‘hence’. See you at 4?’
‘Sure Alex’
Holding her hesitantly, he whispers ‘thank you’ and she’s pretty sure her knees just broke because there’s no way she can walk after that. Are you supposed to react like that when you like someone? She never felt this way for Mason. Something is seriously wrong with her. She squeezes him tightly and she could spend the day in his arms. He clears his throat and she can see that he let go of her. She chuckles (always avoiding the fight, always pretending) and releases him.
‘We’ll go shopping and then I’ll help you’
‘Help me with what?’ she frowns, wrinkling her nose. He sighs loudly. She cracks a smile because for the first time since the day before she sees her brother, and it feels so good she wants to laugh and jump.
‘The spell you cast on yourself you idiot,’ his tone is full with affection. So nice.
‘Oh yeah, the spell, sure’ (So what? Maybe she won’t tell him, maybe she will)
(For now he’s her brother. He’s the only thing constant in her life. He’ll never leave her. Never)
He walks away, heading to some classroom (she barely knows what classes she’s taking, how would she know about his) and Harper joins her, confused and concerned. Alex shrugs, says something about magic and siblings issues and Harper listens, glowing anytime she hears ‘Justin’ and bouncing when she sees Zeke (seriously, this girl is a paradox all in herself) but Alex feels so alive she doesn’t care.
She counts the hours and when the time comes, she almost runs to the hallway, ignoring Harper’s protests. He’s already here, always right on time, always here. Maybe she doesn’t know what’s going on, but she’s happy because he’s her brother and he loves her.
This is what she knows. The rest will resolve itself.