"Is That It? Am I Done?"
1. Cat's dress looks like a costume from "Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark".
2. And don't even get me started on that pile.
3. And we open with a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine. Frickin' fantastic.
4. Though there's always the chance that it's a Jason Gillikin routine.
5. I'm only bored and not completely hating it, so there's the chance it's Jason. I've also yet to see flappy hands or windmills, so…
6. Oh, Josh Farra-something or another. Wh's this newb, and why's he so adorns?
7. I'd love to see Nigel Lythgoe and Michael Caine side by side. Just to see what would happen.
8. "You sexy little minx." "I never thought Doogie Howser would say that to me!" Oh my God, I'm dead.
9. I wonder if NPH just hates Doogie Howser.
10. WHAT? SNOOP DOGG? Oh my God, I cannot even stand it.
11. Haha, even Cat's like "Standards and Practices; I'm actually high myself right now."
12. Melanie, Tadd and Mitchell. Tadd is in the Bottom 4.
13. Or possibly Mitchell. I think now that Tadd is away from Jordan, his fan base will save him. I don't know that MItchell has the fan base.
14. Yep, Mitchell. Makes complete sense.
15. Y'all seriously, can we just name Melanie the winner right now? LIke, for real. I feel like the next four weeks are just a formality until we can name her the winner.
16. Melanie's mom kind of looks like if Jayma Mays lived every day twice.
17. God, Tadd is gorgeous. Just absolutely gorgeous. Those eyes, that bone structure. I can't even stand it.
18. Cat Deeley: The second dancer in the bottom four is…
Brood: Neither of you.
Cat Deeley: Neither of you.
19. Don't fuck with me, Deeley. I know your games.
20. Marko, Clarice and Sasha. Clarice is in the B4.
21. I could seriously watch Cheslie Hightower dance, like, all the time. I'd never stop watching those hips go everywhere.
22. I think she and I could be bests in real life. She could tell me all the things about Bachelor Jake and whether or not he's kinda gay, and then help me seduce him and then she and I would go get ice cream and laugh about it while I braid her hair and then we'd dress up in jeans and wifebeaters and dance hip hop.
23. I forgot to mention: in that scenario, I know how to dance.
24. God, that Sasha/Twitch hip hop was just fucking phenomenal. I actually feel like it eclipsed any lyrical hip hop that Tabitha and Napoleon have choreographed.
25. Yep. Robert is gay, because no straight man could get away with that stolen kiss backstage before the dance.
26. Clarice is like, "Yeah bitch, I know I'm in the B3. It's the Bollywood curse."
27. *whimper* NICK AND IVETA.
28. *ahem*
29. Seriously, though, who the fuck is "Blush"? I don't even know.
30. Top 8 All Stars!
31. EEEE IVAN! Oh, Jaimie. Okay. ANYA AND PASHA EEEE!
32. OH MY GOD IT'S THE RETURN OF MICHELIN AKA MISHA CHAN AKA LAUREN GOTTLIEB!!!
33. Sorry. I really, really, really love Lauren. If you want me to explain why I will be calling her Michelin, just let me know.
34. ACK! NEIL! ACK!
35. Ahahahaha, "Hi, I'm Neil!" Again, if you want me to explain that one…let me know.
36. Oh hi, Ade! I like you, too!
37. Lauren, I know nothing about you. I apologize. You won, though, so you're probably pretty good.
38. Ricky, Jesse, Caitlynn and…um…oh! That's Jordan! Whoops.
39. No seriously, I had a really hard time telling that was Jordan and I actually kind of forgot about her.
40. I can't remember what Ricky danced last night, which probs doesn't bode well. My hope is that Jordan is in the B4, but I'm stumped on this one.
41. I honestly can't tell between Jesse and Ricky who will be in the B4. They both danced amazingly, but Ricky was in my favorite routine of the night.
42. Wrong. America's wrong. So wrong.
43. Although, like I said last night, I focused more on Allison than on Ricky for their routine.
44. Oh my God, seeing Jess try not to cry and then be comforted by the rest of the guys really almost made me cry.
45. Between Caitlynn and Jordan, it should be Jordan in the B4. Should be.
46. I forgot to mention last night how happy I was that Jordan and Brandon danced to Jessie J because I love Jessie J.
47. Jordan's like, "Yeah, I know I'm in the B4. America hates me. At least I'm going on tour, so suck it, America."
48. I don't know if it's just because I had a bad day or what, but this solo dancer dude is kind of boring me I won't lie, I didn't really watch. DaNeal Simpkin? I don't know.
49. Don't forget that So You Think You Can Dance is brought to you by Gatorade.
50. Gatorade makes you a better athlete.
51. Gatorade makes you a better dancer.
52. Gatorade makes you a better person.
53. If you want to be a good person, you will drink Gatorade, because Gatorade will bring you all your Gatorade needs.
54. Oh fuck this Bod Pod bullshit. Fuck you, Gatorade. I will be drinking Vitamin Water from now on, thank you.
55. Although, I will support this: "See? Dancers are athletes." Preach.
56. Clarice's Solo
She's got some really nice tricks that show great body control and her ending pirouettes were really good. Her choreo in between was just kind of okay, though.
57. Mitchell's Solo
What's with the prop? It's superfluous and annoying as fuck. "Look at me, I have this scrap of fabric and it represents a scrap of fabric." Crooked pirouettes and I got bored. Wtf was all that there?
58. Jordan's Solo
I like that this isn't overtly sexy, but I just don't care. I'm over Jordan and I'm ready for her to go home. Also, why was she singing along at the end? Also, I'm pretty sure she was dancing to say goodbye. She looks resigned.
59. Ricky's Solo
You know what I hate in dance routines? Gymnastics passes. You're a dancer, not a gymnast, thank you. As far as everything else, I was bored. The choreo was super weird and didn't really flow together.
60. As much as I love Snoop Dogg, I need to bleep bloop through this mess.
61. Part of me feels like NPH's gestures backstage are all staged for the camera. Like he's like, "The camera's on us. Let's fuck with them."
62. My prediction for going home: Jordan and Ricky.
63. Except Nigel raved about Jordan last night. So maybe Clarice? God, I hate this.
64. Wow. My going home predictions were WAY OFF. I'm actually a bit surprised that it's Clarice and Mitchell going home.
65. Well, that was rather unceremonious. But new all-stars next week and…once again, I don't know how to end this. So bye!