"All Is Well And Right With The World"
1. Let's see how the results show pisses me off tonight.
2. Well, Cat's dress certainly isn't helping. Is that a sea urchin attacking her shoulder?
3. Opening routine: the music screams Sonya Tayeh, the choreo screams Mandy Moore. So it'll probably be Jason Gilkinson. Or Mary Murphy.
4. Maybe Nigel choreographed this.
5. Justin who, now?
6. My Fox feed is all fucked up and jumping around and making me feel like I'm having an eye seizure.
7. I'm kind of loving Mary Murphy's hair tonight. I think she'd look cute with a shag haircut.
8. OMG PIA TOSCANO! YOU WERE MOTHER-FUCKING, ASS-LICKING ROBBED!!!
9. Sorry, I'm still not over that.
Sasha's Solo
I like it better than last night's. It's still a bit too frenetic for me and I wish she'd slow down a bit. The athleticism is ridic, but when you're running at 100% speed the entire time, you lose some of the nuance. That said: that was still ridic.
Caitlynn's Solo
This is probably the best solo I've seen from Caitlynn. The emotion of the dance matches the tone of the song, just very carefree and wondrous. I wish she'd cut the pageant smiling and I also wish her pirouettes weren't so incredibly paint by number (it's difficult for me to explain that properly), but it was still a very good solo.
Melanie's Solo
I didn't really love the beginning of it, but there were some moments at the end that were just breath-taking. Her pirouette at the end was what I want from Caitlynn: unexpected and more effortless. By the end, all I could do was sigh in contentment.
10. Every time I see the commercial for the Rio Blu-Ray combo pack, another piece of my soul dies.
11. Did you perform for National Dance Day? I…did not, and that makes me sad.
12. I did go for a run that day, though.
13. Dear Katie Holmes: Get your damn hair out of your face. Love, me.
14. ELEPHANTS DANCING!!! *loves*
15. "I hate Thursdays. They're rubbish." I love Cat Deeley so much.
Tadd's Solo
God. That ass. That solo wasn't all that great, but this thing at the end was awesome. I would love to have sex with that man. I'm just going to leave it at that.
Marko's Solo
Didn't Marko dance to James Morrison last night? I liked the last 10 seconds of it more than I liked the first 20 seconds.
RIcky's Solo
Holy shit. That develope at the 15 second mark was AMAZEBALLS. The tumbling pass was pretty good too, especially the landing. Interesting that the judges didn't give him a standing ovation like they did for all the girls.
16. I'm going to have to watch this Collife routine on YouTUbe, because my Fox feed is for shit right now. And I'd like to see this BEAUTIFULNESS as it should be seen.
17. I wish I liked Kent. He kind of looks like if Trainer Bob from The Biggest Loser mated with a trout.
18. I don't think there's any doubt that the girls going to the finale will be Sasha and Melanie.
19. Watching snippets from Sasha's contemporary routine with the wall gave me more chills. I should go back and watch that again.
20. The snippets are also reminding me how incredibly astute Christina Applegate was as a guest judge. More of her!!!
21. GOd, that Broadway number was so. Fucking. Sexy. I knew Tadd could be sexy, but not Melanie, and that was hot.
22. In retrospect, Melanie definitely opened up toward the middle of the hip-hop. I busted on her for being too restrained last night, but in the snippets, I see what Lil C was saying about the "Ruh, ruh, like a dungeon dragon" part.
23. Okay, I had to pause before Cat sent the first girl to her safety. Because I have this fear that she's going to say Caitlynn. The thing with the girls is that the top two are SO OBVIOUSLY Melanie and Sasha that there's no drama or anticipation in announcing them. What would bring the drama is if Caitlynn went in and then Sasha or Melanie get the boot. I'm not saying the show would skew the results, but I am saying that sometimes America votes ALL sorts of wonky (PIA TOSCANO!!!) and in return, SYTYCD likes to amp the drama.
24. Oh my goodness, seeing Melanie's grandmother screaming and clapping and sobbing in the audience just made me burst into tears.
25. I also like seeing this emotion other than "giddy" and "awkward" and "spazzy" coming from Melanie. I like the tears. More depth.
26. I'm having another moment where I'm afraid she's going to say that Ricky is the first guy in the finale because (in my opinion) it really should be Tadd and Marko in the finale. Then again, I felt like Ricky should've been in the bottom three last week, so what do I know?
27. God, Tadd is SO FUCKING SEXY.
28. Marko too. He's so hot, I wanna bake cookies on his stomach.
29. I don't know what that means but I want some cookies now.
30. Nigel pegged how I feel about Ricky. His lines and movements are usually impeccable, but he's not feeling it.
31. I'm really emotional lately (what? who?), so seeing Melanie and Marko hug and love on each other for being safe made me tear up a little bit.
32. Oh my God, this guy in the bad boys of dance is doing those jetes at, like, breakneck speed. Holy balls.
33. Perhaps it's because my feed is messed up, but this looks like a bunch of guys in baseball pants dancing around in the locker room and it's CRACKING ME UP.
34. "I think the only winner is dance." Sometimes Nigel is more diplomatic than he has any right to be.
35. I love how even Cat is like, "I'm not going to hold this for drama because we know it's Sasha."
36. I wish I'd connected more to Caitlynn throughout the season. The highlights they showed really helped to create a personality for me that I just didn't often get. She suffered from the same thing Ricky did, I think (in fact Nigel called her out on it tonight, too), in that she dances too much in her head and needs to feel the movement more. But she's young (only 17? 18?), she has room for improvement.
37. Besides, the winner is dance. We don't even need next week to happen. Give dance $250,000 and a Gatorade sponsorship.
38. Gatorade: Not just for footballers anymore. Now for dancers.
39. And possibly strippers, but this is a family show.
40. With whacking.
41. HI PIA TOSCANO! I WILL NOT BE BLEEP-BLOOPING YOU!!!
42. Pia, we know this is your first single. Cat just told us that. Just sing and look pretty, please.
43. Is she singing English? I can't understand a single word in the verses.
44. This sounds like a song that Jordin Sparks was like, "No thank you."
45. …why did I like Pia Toscano so much?
46. Please Tadd Please Tadd Please Tadd Please Tadd.
47. TADD!!!
48. It's okay though, because the winner is dance.
49. We should elect dance president.
50. I feel bad for Ricky, because I don't think I'd dislike him as much as I do if he hadn't been paired with Ryan and I hadn't had to see him dance 57 million solos i the Bottom 3.
51. CAITLYNN LOOKS LIKE MY COUSIN MICHELLE. God. That's been bugging me all season, trying to figure out who she looked like.
52. …Katie Holmes? KATIE HOLMES is a friggin' guest judge?! *sigh* Really?
53. That was my annoyed voice, if you couldn't tell.
54. One week, y'all!