did i really get inspired by a goddamn fan
"Plane! Plane!"
Why the fuck did you ever play the airplane game with him. You picked up his two-year-old ass under your arm like a football and you flew him all over that living room for like a half hour and now that fucker's addicted. He's shivering in the alley in his cardboard and waiting for some donations for his next fix. Goddamn.
"Little dude, I gotta -- "
"Plane!"
Oh, god, not the wobbly eyes. His hands are reaching up and he's got little wobbly eyes and a fucking lip, Jesus Christ, kids are goddamn masterminds. Where do they even get the training for this? There was some kind of manual you missed out on. You can't say no. But you don't have the time for yes.
Dave spends the next twenty minutes leashed to the ceiling fan, gleefully whirring around in circles with his arms outstretched.
He spends the next five minutes yarfing up carrots.
..Time well used.