Silence is Golden Sprayed Uranium

[broszer]

I have come to the realization

Comments

[soapathetic]

you indeed have a sharp tongue dear henry. i think you've done quite well for yourself, or at least are far from sucking at writing. it's tough to critisize without fully knowing what you're going for (although i have one minor grammatical error that is making me twitch. i think it should be whether over your offspring.... not weather). it's a pretty catchy intro for the most part, draws you in.

we should talk more some night, i want you to lay your entire idea out for me, or what you have so far, so i can build a foundation for this. i'm glad you shared. goodnight.

[lauriekay]

yes. Weather = whether.
humanity's as opposed to "humanities".
Many have tried, and all have failed what exactly? Clarify that.
And lastly, for the punchline, use a connecting word...like "however".

:D

sleep showily

[anonymous]

hello world