Babysitter's Winter Vacation
All right, I have to do this one. Now. This is the most fail-filled book I can think of in the entire series. There's unhealthy levels of boy-obsession, privilege out the ass, mind-blowing disregard for safety of children, wild accusations of racism based on nothing resulting in the mistreatment of a child, bullying that makes you feel bad for Dawn, dreams of pedophilia...wait, feeling bad for Dawn? Yes, it'll happen!
Bold italicized phrases, like this, are exact quotes from the book. There will be a lot of them. So I'm just disclosing right now that that's what that means.
Stop! Cover time!
Aren't they awfully close to be throwing snowballs at each other? Larger image. I can't tell who is Mary Anne or Kristy, or who is Stacey or Dawn. And a week of fun this won't be. Only Stacey will really have an enjoyable time, and Mal a bit. Kristy's too competitive to have fun, and Dawn will cry, and Mary Anne will be hearltess and mopey, and Jessi will see racism where none exists and be mean to a kid, and Claud will be hurt because a grown man won't become a pedophile.
Oh. Spoiler alert. Yeah.
French fry, pizza, this way.
The bad time is a given 'round these parts.
Prologue: Mary Anne
Mary Anne needs professional help. Logan won't be going on this mandatory vacation because he has a good excuse, which means MA must make a book for him because five days apart is so damned hard. Speaking of mandatory, raise your hand if you went to a school where taking a vacation to a poorly-supervised lodge in another state was mandatory unless you were already going to be out of town on another vacation (the Brunos were going to Aruba), and raise your other if the school requires a yearly vacation.
You there. Yeah, you. Lower your hands. Fibber.
So all of these kids are required to take a big, nice vacation every year. No joke, it's required. Mandatory. The punishment for not going is you get stuck in a perpetual Groundhog Year. I guess they should have gone in those other winter books.
Chapter 1: Mary Anne
Since Stoned-brook never learns to heed blizzard warnings, this can't possibly be subtle foreshadowing! The trip was almost canceled since one person had some brains to at least suggest canceling the trip to be safe, but nope, it's business as usual. Good thing because MA informs us, Thank goodness we were still going to the lodge. I’d have died if I couldn’t have finished my book for Logan.
Folks, she isn't going to get better.
And I can't believe Ann lived here. When I lived in Massachusetts and a blizzard was possible, we were told to stay off the roads and only go to work if we absolutely had to, and you can bet travel plans were called off. Yet sure, stick hundreds of kids on buses. Nothing could go wrong there.
We get a run-down of how this whole shebang happens. Parents are asked to donate first (of course they'll pony up a ton since they hate their kids and want to get rid of them), and any shortage is covered by the people who own the lodge since they want to give kids a chance to get away from it all for a while (on second thought, the Brook parents won't pay shit since someone else will, and on THIRD thought, why the hell pay for that trip for rich kids instead of kids at inner city schools who never get a break?). This lodge must be the largest in the world since they house multiple entire schools at a time.
Get used to the whiplash. We're getting chapter 2 exposition with no segue, just a total stop to the story, as if there's been much of one.
Stacey's cool because people from New York are instantly glamorous. For instance, take Anthony Weiner, best known for texting picture of his...weiner...to his aids. Oh god, that joke writes itself.
Mal has seven younger brothers and sisters; Jessi has two. Also, Mal is white and Jessi is black. We don't need to know anything else. That was clumsily written, but we got the important 411. The siblings don't matter, but at least we know skin colors.
Something notable is we don't hear about how Claudia looks so exotic, or that she's Asian, or about her almond eyes. If you had never read a BSC book, you wouldn't have any reason to think she wasn't white. I guess this is the book the casting director for the TV show read.
The morning they're supposed to leave, the weather is worse. The trip is cancelled.
HA! What do you think this is, a town with reasonable people? You read above, right? Of course the trip is happening!
Mary Anne can't wait to go, and pesters her dad to take her to school early. He agrees, and reminds her to brush her teeth and say bye to the cat. I refrained from reminding him that I’m not a baby. Instead, I just brushed my teeth... That...yeah. And of course she can't bear saying bye to Tigger. This girl needs therapy. Of course she could lecture her dad on remembering to feed the cat and put ointment in his eyes if they get runny, because of course Richard knows nothing about anything. Adults are pointless.
The idiots all gather at school, and the older girls reminisce about how it was the year before, even though only three of them would have been at SMS in the winter. Dawn and Stacey still have memories. Stacey at least started SMS at the end of 7th, but Dawn? She got some bad weed.
Claudia did let Mal and Jess know that the teachers will basically disappear. If you are mentally snarking that this means someone's going to lose her virginity on this trip, well, there's reason to believe it could have happened.
And the lack of supervision must be why poor inner-city kids don't get to take the trips that rich kids get to. Ann hates poor people.
Chapter 2: Stacey
Stacey's a brat, impatient with her mom because her mom is worried about making sure her daughter's medical needs will be met. The nerve of Maureen, actually caring about her daughter's insulin! Just like today, you had to go to the nurse's office for any medication, even for Luden's cough drops that were technically candy. So how dare Maureen be worried about her daughter having access to a fridge for her insulin, and easy access to it! Hint: There's no fridge in the room where Stacey stashes her meds. In real life, this is a problem. In the books, she has her insulin and needles, and no worries about chilling the stuff.
When she finally got out of the car, she thought, Free at last! I'm surprised Jessi didn't jump into her thoughts and scream at her for stealing that from a black person. Just you wait, and you'll see what I mean....
Well, weather reports call for two major storms that week, including one that very night. Naturally this means the trip is still happening, even though the teachers are very worried about it hitting while they're on the road. A bunch of kids hope that the storm hits before they get there, for the excitement. Because that would be fun or something, when it means no CB radio, and being stuck on a freezing bus hoping you don't die. At least her insulin would stay cold!
“Stacey?” [Kristy] said. “I’ve got a terrible problem.”
“What is it?” I asked, alarmed.
“The theme from Gilligan’s Island is running through my head and I can’t get rid of it.”
I had to share that since it's actually funny. Enjoy it. It's one of the few funny things in this book.
We find out the girls get extra credit for heading activities. Jessi was put in charge of the whole talent show because she somehow has the skill to do that without making it all about herself. Oh, wait...
We do get an interesting piece of info. There are 382 SMS students there. That's a pretty good size for a small-town school, and this doesn't count the private schools. As far as we know, Logan is the only student out. We get this info to describe how many students crammed into an unsuspecting restaurant and overwhelmed the staff. Don't worry though. Most of the kids had their own lunches and just needed the tables, and all restaurants are fine with people bringing in their own food, using the tables, napkins, condiments, bathrooms, and everything else, without paying a cent.
I used to work at a restaurant off the Massachusetts Turkpike, a place called Roy Rogers, and we appreciated a heads-up for buses. But it was awful when a few buses would pull in without any notice. One time, a tour of three buses came in and literally bought us out of food. When we had a heads up, like most groups over 50 would do (but not all, and the bigger, the less notice we got most of the time), we could take stock of what we had, and our manager could order more food be brought in if we had an hour or two of time, or worst case, a manager could go across the pike to the RR on the other side (it's a pay-pike, and so everything was on both sides so you didn't techically leave the pike any more than you leave the freeway by going to a rest stop) and get food.
Our most overwhelming day was when 200 people cam without notice.
I feel so bad for those restarant workers who had about 400 people stop in like they did.
Stacey admits the staff was relieved when those leacherous brats left.
No surprise, the drive is dangerous and one bus went into an embankment. All they needed was to back up though, since somehow it works that way in their world when the roads are slick with ice and snow.
Chapter 3: Dawn
Do you really want a Dawn chapter? No? Too bad. If I have to read it, you have to hear about it. She's not the worst in this book. Hell froze over.
As a cop-out to describing the lodge, we're told to just imagine The Overlook from The Shining. It looks exactly like that. That's Timberline Lodge in Oregon. There are exactly 70 guest rooms at Timberine. Very few can sleep more than 4. A few chalet rooms can sleep up to 10, dorm-style, but there aren't many, and only ONE has a private bathroom.
So you try figuring out where 382 kids from SMS, the kids from a junior high in Vermont, kids from a middle school in New Hampshire, and some elementary kids, will all stay.
Speaking of which, there's no way in hell I'd let my young child, like 7 years old, go stay with hundreds of middle-schoolers. That's so fucking dangerous. You're just hoping that hundreds of unsupervised kids, especially the boys, won't decide to molest a child.
They're separated by grades, and Mal looks like she's going to cry. She's away from home and separated from most of her friends, and scared. Oh, but in BSC in the USA, this makes her racist, according to Jessi. Remember how Mal was nervous around strangers? Yeah. Well, someone else will get that label in this book.
Picking "bunkies" ends up being politics, and Kristy looks sorry for herself for not having one. Okay, such a big deal deciding who to sleep over or beneath being such a big deal gets the rampant lesbianism tag, even though it's misspelled. I'll go ahead and give it the correct one too.
Oh my god, poor Ashley Wyeth is tossed into their room. Just her, and those five bitches.
She doesn’t have too many good friends besides Claud.
Well, since the cult rules, she doesn't even have Claudia as a friend.
I'm just...I'm going to share all of this with you.
“I don’t have a bunkie, Kristy,” said a voice from behind us.
Kristy turned around. There was Ashley Wyeth, this spacey, artsy friend of Claudia’s. She doesn’t have too many good friends besides Claud.
“You don’t?” said Kristy. She wanted to be polite, but she couldn’t help looking crestfallen.
None of us was sure what to do until Claudia said tactfully, “Hey, why don’t Stacey and I move down one bunk, and then Kristy, you and Ashley can be right between Dawn and Mary Anne, and Stacey and me.”
“Okay.” Kristy managed not to sound too reluctant. Then, brightening, she added, “Hey, Ashley, can I have the top bunk?”
Ashley shrugged. “Sure.”
Kristy didn’t have to worry. Ashley would be a push-over to bunk with. Besides, how could Kristy lose, surrounded by all her friends?
Tell me if that doesn't make you hate every single one of those girls right now, aside from Ashley. How the fuck could Kristy lose anything? What is there to gain? Intimidating a girl who already knows she's an outsider? Surrounding her from all sides with people who don't want her around? Kristy even LOOKS crestfallen!! My god. What a bunch of stupid little bitches. Yeah, I said it. Yet Jessi's going to be worse. Oh, and Dawn now deserves what happens to her.
They decide to go find Mal and Jess, though Claud at least thought to ask Ashley along. Ash ignored them all. Good for her.
To show the sixth-graders around, Claud makes sure to point out the candy machines, and Jess did ask if they really needed to know that. No. Not really.
“Now we’ll show you the really fun stuff,” Dawn said.
She shows them the front desk. I can't even... I'm not even making that up.
Well, the doors burst open and in walk a couple people sputtering about their bus crashing a couple miles up the road in the storm. I call bull shit. Most people found dead in blizzards who wandered away from their vehicles are found within a mile. Hypothermia sets in quickly when you're deep in snow, and disorientation. Those people wouldn't have all survived. They left a bunch of elementary school kids with the bus driver who has a badly broken leg. If those kids can see that leg, then those kids are in a horror movie right now.
Chapter 4: Kristy
I'll be calling this part a wrap for the night after this chapter.
Kristy's letter is pointless. Aren't they all?
Well, the owners of the hotel, the Georges, ask for volunteers going to get the kids. "Teachers would be best, I think.” No shit, Sherlock. Which is why Kristy volunteers the BSC, and a math teacher says, “They’d probably be a good choice.” You know he's hoping they get lost.
Mrs. George looked at the seven of us. “Well . . . terrific,” she said finally. “I think some adults should go along, too, though.”
Heh. Only three teachers were willing. The rest were fine letting the BSC go possibly die. They hate the cult too.
How did the BSC feel?
Not one of them minded that I had volunteered our services. Children come first where we’re concerned, and we’ve handled pretty many emergencies, as well as large groups of children. This was something we had to do.
More like they know better than to complain. And...THEY ARE CHILDREN. If I found out my daughter was allowed to go out into that blizzard, I'd sue. No, wait. I wouldn't, because my child wouldn't have been allowed to go on that trip because I'm not a stupid person.
They get to the bus, and it had tipped onto its side in the crash. Even though they were two miles from the lodge in the middle of nowhere, an ambulance, a tow truck, and three cop cars were already on the scene taking care of it. Sixteen kids stand around crying. Since the adults are inept in this world, the BSC take over and succeeded in calming the kids that the cops can't. See? Adults have no reason to be there as long as the BSC is around.
Somehow some of the kids lost articles of clothing in the crash. If they went down hard enough for clothing to come off, they shouldn't be going to the lodge. Of course this means they're going to the lodge! They live in Opposite Land where you do the opposite of what's reasonable.
By the way, the way to calm traumatized kids is to promise them hot chocolate.
Mrs. George counts the kids twice to make sure she has them all, and earns a nod of approval from Kristy. Since the approval of a 13-year-old is everything, this is a big deal.
Mary Anne picks now to ask them all to write in her stupid book for Logan.
If you think anyone said no, this must be the first time you've heard of the BSC. They're a hive-mind and answer in creepy unison!
The little kids fall asleep, and everyone falls into silence, and I fall into a stupor at how incredibly stupid this book is, and we haven't even gotten to the REALLY stupid stuff yet.
This book... It's THE book. THE one where the worst case of a crush on an older guy happens, THE worst reason to expect someone is racist, THE most blatant shows of Mary Anne's codependency, THE most everything. The ineptness of the adults is also only just beginning.... Hold on to your heads and pad the walls. You're going to need it.
Bold italicized phrases, like this, are exact quotes from the book. There will be a lot of them. So I'm just disclosing right now that that's what that means.
Stop! Cover time!
Aren't they awfully close to be throwing snowballs at each other? Larger image. I can't tell who is Mary Anne or Kristy, or who is Stacey or Dawn. And a week of fun this won't be. Only Stacey will really have an enjoyable time, and Mal a bit. Kristy's too competitive to have fun, and Dawn will cry, and Mary Anne will be hearltess and mopey, and Jessi will see racism where none exists and be mean to a kid, and Claud will be hurt because a grown man won't become a pedophile.
Oh. Spoiler alert. Yeah.
French fry, pizza, this way.
The bad time is a given 'round these parts.
Prologue: Mary Anne
Mary Anne needs professional help. Logan won't be going on this mandatory vacation because he has a good excuse, which means MA must make a book for him because five days apart is so damned hard. Speaking of mandatory, raise your hand if you went to a school where taking a vacation to a poorly-supervised lodge in another state was mandatory unless you were already going to be out of town on another vacation (the Brunos were going to Aruba), and raise your other if the school requires a yearly vacation.
You there. Yeah, you. Lower your hands. Fibber.
So all of these kids are required to take a big, nice vacation every year. No joke, it's required. Mandatory. The punishment for not going is you get stuck in a perpetual Groundhog Year. I guess they should have gone in those other winter books.
Chapter 1: Mary Anne
Since Stoned-brook never learns to heed blizzard warnings, this can't possibly be subtle foreshadowing! The trip was almost canceled since one person had some brains to at least suggest canceling the trip to be safe, but nope, it's business as usual. Good thing because MA informs us, Thank goodness we were still going to the lodge. I’d have died if I couldn’t have finished my book for Logan.
Folks, she isn't going to get better.
And I can't believe Ann lived here. When I lived in Massachusetts and a blizzard was possible, we were told to stay off the roads and only go to work if we absolutely had to, and you can bet travel plans were called off. Yet sure, stick hundreds of kids on buses. Nothing could go wrong there.
We get a run-down of how this whole shebang happens. Parents are asked to donate first (of course they'll pony up a ton since they hate their kids and want to get rid of them), and any shortage is covered by the people who own the lodge since they want to give kids a chance to get away from it all for a while (on second thought, the Brook parents won't pay shit since someone else will, and on THIRD thought, why the hell pay for that trip for rich kids instead of kids at inner city schools who never get a break?). This lodge must be the largest in the world since they house multiple entire schools at a time.
Get used to the whiplash. We're getting chapter 2 exposition with no segue, just a total stop to the story, as if there's been much of one.
Stacey's cool because people from New York are instantly glamorous. For instance, take Anthony Weiner, best known for texting picture of his...weiner...to his aids. Oh god, that joke writes itself.
Mal has seven younger brothers and sisters; Jessi has two. Also, Mal is white and Jessi is black. We don't need to know anything else. That was clumsily written, but we got the important 411. The siblings don't matter, but at least we know skin colors.
Something notable is we don't hear about how Claudia looks so exotic, or that she's Asian, or about her almond eyes. If you had never read a BSC book, you wouldn't have any reason to think she wasn't white. I guess this is the book the casting director for the TV show read.
The morning they're supposed to leave, the weather is worse. The trip is cancelled.
HA! What do you think this is, a town with reasonable people? You read above, right? Of course the trip is happening!
Mary Anne can't wait to go, and pesters her dad to take her to school early. He agrees, and reminds her to brush her teeth and say bye to the cat. I refrained from reminding him that I’m not a baby. Instead, I just brushed my teeth... That...yeah. And of course she can't bear saying bye to Tigger. This girl needs therapy. Of course she could lecture her dad on remembering to feed the cat and put ointment in his eyes if they get runny, because of course Richard knows nothing about anything. Adults are pointless.
The idiots all gather at school, and the older girls reminisce about how it was the year before, even though only three of them would have been at SMS in the winter. Dawn and Stacey still have memories. Stacey at least started SMS at the end of 7th, but Dawn? She got some bad weed.
Claudia did let Mal and Jess know that the teachers will basically disappear. If you are mentally snarking that this means someone's going to lose her virginity on this trip, well, there's reason to believe it could have happened.
And the lack of supervision must be why poor inner-city kids don't get to take the trips that rich kids get to. Ann hates poor people.
Chapter 2: Stacey
Stacey's a brat, impatient with her mom because her mom is worried about making sure her daughter's medical needs will be met. The nerve of Maureen, actually caring about her daughter's insulin! Just like today, you had to go to the nurse's office for any medication, even for Luden's cough drops that were technically candy. So how dare Maureen be worried about her daughter having access to a fridge for her insulin, and easy access to it! Hint: There's no fridge in the room where Stacey stashes her meds. In real life, this is a problem. In the books, she has her insulin and needles, and no worries about chilling the stuff.
When she finally got out of the car, she thought, Free at last! I'm surprised Jessi didn't jump into her thoughts and scream at her for stealing that from a black person. Just you wait, and you'll see what I mean....
Well, weather reports call for two major storms that week, including one that very night. Naturally this means the trip is still happening, even though the teachers are very worried about it hitting while they're on the road. A bunch of kids hope that the storm hits before they get there, for the excitement. Because that would be fun or something, when it means no CB radio, and being stuck on a freezing bus hoping you don't die. At least her insulin would stay cold!
“Stacey?” [Kristy] said. “I’ve got a terrible problem.”
“What is it?” I asked, alarmed.
“The theme from Gilligan’s Island is running through my head and I can’t get rid of it.”
I had to share that since it's actually funny. Enjoy it. It's one of the few funny things in this book.
We find out the girls get extra credit for heading activities. Jessi was put in charge of the whole talent show because she somehow has the skill to do that without making it all about herself. Oh, wait...
We do get an interesting piece of info. There are 382 SMS students there. That's a pretty good size for a small-town school, and this doesn't count the private schools. As far as we know, Logan is the only student out. We get this info to describe how many students crammed into an unsuspecting restaurant and overwhelmed the staff. Don't worry though. Most of the kids had their own lunches and just needed the tables, and all restaurants are fine with people bringing in their own food, using the tables, napkins, condiments, bathrooms, and everything else, without paying a cent.
I used to work at a restaurant off the Massachusetts Turkpike, a place called Roy Rogers, and we appreciated a heads-up for buses. But it was awful when a few buses would pull in without any notice. One time, a tour of three buses came in and literally bought us out of food. When we had a heads up, like most groups over 50 would do (but not all, and the bigger, the less notice we got most of the time), we could take stock of what we had, and our manager could order more food be brought in if we had an hour or two of time, or worst case, a manager could go across the pike to the RR on the other side (it's a pay-pike, and so everything was on both sides so you didn't techically leave the pike any more than you leave the freeway by going to a rest stop) and get food.
Our most overwhelming day was when 200 people cam without notice.
I feel so bad for those restarant workers who had about 400 people stop in like they did.
Stacey admits the staff was relieved when those leacherous brats left.
No surprise, the drive is dangerous and one bus went into an embankment. All they needed was to back up though, since somehow it works that way in their world when the roads are slick with ice and snow.
Chapter 3: Dawn
Do you really want a Dawn chapter? No? Too bad. If I have to read it, you have to hear about it. She's not the worst in this book. Hell froze over.
As a cop-out to describing the lodge, we're told to just imagine The Overlook from The Shining. It looks exactly like that. That's Timberline Lodge in Oregon. There are exactly 70 guest rooms at Timberine. Very few can sleep more than 4. A few chalet rooms can sleep up to 10, dorm-style, but there aren't many, and only ONE has a private bathroom.
So you try figuring out where 382 kids from SMS, the kids from a junior high in Vermont, kids from a middle school in New Hampshire, and some elementary kids, will all stay.
Speaking of which, there's no way in hell I'd let my young child, like 7 years old, go stay with hundreds of middle-schoolers. That's so fucking dangerous. You're just hoping that hundreds of unsupervised kids, especially the boys, won't decide to molest a child.
They're separated by grades, and Mal looks like she's going to cry. She's away from home and separated from most of her friends, and scared. Oh, but in BSC in the USA, this makes her racist, according to Jessi. Remember how Mal was nervous around strangers? Yeah. Well, someone else will get that label in this book.
Picking "bunkies" ends up being politics, and Kristy looks sorry for herself for not having one. Okay, such a big deal deciding who to sleep over or beneath being such a big deal gets the rampant lesbianism tag, even though it's misspelled. I'll go ahead and give it the correct one too.
Oh my god, poor Ashley Wyeth is tossed into their room. Just her, and those five bitches.
She doesn’t have too many good friends besides Claud.
Well, since the cult rules, she doesn't even have Claudia as a friend.
I'm just...I'm going to share all of this with you.
“I don’t have a bunkie, Kristy,” said a voice from behind us.
Kristy turned around. There was Ashley Wyeth, this spacey, artsy friend of Claudia’s. She doesn’t have too many good friends besides Claud.
“You don’t?” said Kristy. She wanted to be polite, but she couldn’t help looking crestfallen.
None of us was sure what to do until Claudia said tactfully, “Hey, why don’t Stacey and I move down one bunk, and then Kristy, you and Ashley can be right between Dawn and Mary Anne, and Stacey and me.”
“Okay.” Kristy managed not to sound too reluctant. Then, brightening, she added, “Hey, Ashley, can I have the top bunk?”
Ashley shrugged. “Sure.”
Kristy didn’t have to worry. Ashley would be a push-over to bunk with. Besides, how could Kristy lose, surrounded by all her friends?
Tell me if that doesn't make you hate every single one of those girls right now, aside from Ashley. How the fuck could Kristy lose anything? What is there to gain? Intimidating a girl who already knows she's an outsider? Surrounding her from all sides with people who don't want her around? Kristy even LOOKS crestfallen!! My god. What a bunch of stupid little bitches. Yeah, I said it. Yet Jessi's going to be worse. Oh, and Dawn now deserves what happens to her.
They decide to go find Mal and Jess, though Claud at least thought to ask Ashley along. Ash ignored them all. Good for her.
To show the sixth-graders around, Claud makes sure to point out the candy machines, and Jess did ask if they really needed to know that. No. Not really.
“Now we’ll show you the really fun stuff,” Dawn said.
She shows them the front desk. I can't even... I'm not even making that up.
Well, the doors burst open and in walk a couple people sputtering about their bus crashing a couple miles up the road in the storm. I call bull shit. Most people found dead in blizzards who wandered away from their vehicles are found within a mile. Hypothermia sets in quickly when you're deep in snow, and disorientation. Those people wouldn't have all survived. They left a bunch of elementary school kids with the bus driver who has a badly broken leg. If those kids can see that leg, then those kids are in a horror movie right now.
Chapter 4: Kristy
I'll be calling this part a wrap for the night after this chapter.
Kristy's letter is pointless. Aren't they all?
Well, the owners of the hotel, the Georges, ask for volunteers going to get the kids. "Teachers would be best, I think.” No shit, Sherlock. Which is why Kristy volunteers the BSC, and a math teacher says, “They’d probably be a good choice.” You know he's hoping they get lost.
Mrs. George looked at the seven of us. “Well . . . terrific,” she said finally. “I think some adults should go along, too, though.”
Heh. Only three teachers were willing. The rest were fine letting the BSC go possibly die. They hate the cult too.
How did the BSC feel?
Not one of them minded that I had volunteered our services. Children come first where we’re concerned, and we’ve handled pretty many emergencies, as well as large groups of children. This was something we had to do.
More like they know better than to complain. And...THEY ARE CHILDREN. If I found out my daughter was allowed to go out into that blizzard, I'd sue. No, wait. I wouldn't, because my child wouldn't have been allowed to go on that trip because I'm not a stupid person.
They get to the bus, and it had tipped onto its side in the crash. Even though they were two miles from the lodge in the middle of nowhere, an ambulance, a tow truck, and three cop cars were already on the scene taking care of it. Sixteen kids stand around crying. Since the adults are inept in this world, the BSC take over and succeeded in calming the kids that the cops can't. See? Adults have no reason to be there as long as the BSC is around.
Somehow some of the kids lost articles of clothing in the crash. If they went down hard enough for clothing to come off, they shouldn't be going to the lodge. Of course this means they're going to the lodge! They live in Opposite Land where you do the opposite of what's reasonable.
By the way, the way to calm traumatized kids is to promise them hot chocolate.
Mrs. George counts the kids twice to make sure she has them all, and earns a nod of approval from Kristy. Since the approval of a 13-year-old is everything, this is a big deal.
Mary Anne picks now to ask them all to write in her stupid book for Logan.
If you think anyone said no, this must be the first time you've heard of the BSC. They're a hive-mind and answer in creepy unison!
The little kids fall asleep, and everyone falls into silence, and I fall into a stupor at how incredibly stupid this book is, and we haven't even gotten to the REALLY stupid stuff yet.
This book... It's THE book. THE one where the worst case of a crush on an older guy happens, THE worst reason to expect someone is racist, THE most blatant shows of Mary Anne's codependency, THE most everything. The ineptness of the adults is also only just beginning.... Hold on to your heads and pad the walls. You're going to need it.