Dawn and the Disappearing Dogs Chapters 11-15
http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/689169.html
http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/689169.html
Chapter 11
At the BSC meeting, Dawn briefly complains that the cops won’t believe her about the richest guy in Stoneybrook being the dognapper because she has no proof. The BSC wonders why a rich guy would bother stealing dogs, since he could just buy a bunch of dogs. I don’t know-maybe he’s running dog fights or something? Maybe he just likes stealing a dog and laughing when he imagines what their owners are going through? Maybe he’s a dick? Maybe it’s some sort of eccentric rich person hobby? I don’t know. I can’t really think of a decent explanation.
The BSC decides to stalk Mr. Tate to get proof. Mary Anne is worried because this doesn’t seem safe or legal. Kristy tells her not to worry because they’ll be in pairs and it’s not illegal to look at someone. What if he notices them spying and decides to hurt them both? I’m not sure if a grown man would be really intimidated by two thirteen year old girls, but he might be. And the BSC is planning to stake out the pet store, watch Mr. Tate’s house, look out for his car, and follow him. I just imagine the BSC being totally shitty at being spies. I can just see them wearing trenchcoats and fedoras and everything. I also imagine them making a ton of racket and just being really noticeable. I also see them contaminating evidence.
Kristy says they aren’t going to use force on Mr. Tate or anything because he’s a big guy. The BSC plans to find concrete evidence that Mr. Tate is shady and then let the actual police handle the matter. I would laugh so hard if the BSC went to the cops to present the case and they were like, “Yeah, we already solved it.” Now I’m just imagining the BSC trying to detain Mr. Tate and being all pompous.
Anyway, the BSC decides to keep detective notebooks so they can have a list of evidence to show the police. I’m not sure I should recap this because it’s so boring I don’t want to. I’d have more fun cleaning out my ears and examining the wax. I’d have more fun picking lint out of my carpet. But basically, the BSC doesn’t find jack shit. There’s some bullshit about Mrs. Tate maybe going to the hairdresser and going shopping, and a house being bigger than Kristy’s and that’s about all I’m recapping because I’m getting bored just typing it.
Dawn, Mary Anne and Kristy decide to go to the pet store while Claudia and Stacey stake out the Tate mansion because Stacey wants a sugar daddy. I’m damn sure Stacey would be one of those rich trophy wives I see in movies who try and seduce the pool boy or the gardener. Dawn goes to the lady at the counter and asks if she has a Saint Bernard. The lady says no, but they can get her one if she pays top dollar. Dawn says she’ll ask her parents and they leave. Dawn thinks it’s suspicious that the lady didn’t recommend a breeder or say when new Saint Bernards would be in. They see the green car and try to follow it, but they lose it.
Chapter 12
Stacey writes an entry in the notebook congratulating herself on handling Charlotte’s fear so well. I’m surprised the BSC isn’t more impatient with Charlotte’s anxieties. I can just see them being like, “Well, I don’t get anxious doing this, so why should Charlotte? Or maybe, “Charlotte’s social anxiety is inconveniencing me!”
Charlotte is worried about her dog Carrot being stolen. Stacey apparently knows better than to treat a child’s fears lightly. Given how they probably roll their eyes and huff when Jackie trips, I’m sure if the BSC doesn’t think Charlotte shouldn’t be afraid of something, they have a hard time hiding their disdain. I think there have been some books when some charges were afraid of monsters and the BSC were like, “Why is a four year old inconveniencing us by being afraid of a monster in a closet?”
Charlotte considers skipping the Krushers practice. Stacey convinces her to go because Haley and Vanessa need her and Charlotte has to go to school, so she may as well get used to leaving Carrot at home. I’m surprised Charlotte is actually being a cheerleader. I know if I tried to cheer in front of people, my throat would magically close up. My coworker had to film a commercial for work and I was like, “If I had to do that, I’d have strangled myself and been like, “I can’t talk.” But maybe I missed something. I kind of skimmed through the chapters about the baseball game.
Charlotte sets up some Home Alone style traps, under the impression that a little bit of water will stop the dognappers. She also combs Carrot’s hair the wrong way because the dognappers will think he’s too ugly and be like, “Forget stealing this dog. He’s ugly as shit.” Stacey and Charlotte head to practice and Stacey thinks she sees a dog being taken, but it happened so fast she can’t be sure. Sometimes when I’m half asleep I don’t know if what happened honestly happened or if it’s just a dream. Stacey tells Dawn and Dawn wants to run over and bust the dognappers in the act. Stacey points out that she can’t leave because it’s too dangerous and it would be rude to leave Kristy with all these kids to babysit by herself.
Dawn stomps her feet and throws a tantrum because she wants to solve the case and be a hero and rub it in the cop’s face that she was right and he was wrong. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dawn practiced flipping her hair in a sassy way and smirking at the police officer who doubted her. I can just see Dawn being like, “I was right! I solved the case and now everyone will think I’m a hero and that cop will have to admit that he’s wrong!” And then Mary Anne will be like, “And we reunited a lot of pets with their owners,” and Dawn will be like, “What?” Stacey says the only thing they can do is watch and wait. I just find it really amusing that Dawn basically admits she’s acting like a toddler. Now if only she realized she acts like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum whenever someone even eats food she dislikes in her vicinity. I mean, they don’t even have to be making Dawn eat the food and she’d still bitch.
Chapter 13
It’s the day of the ball game that I don’t care about. Richard made pancakes and Dawn miraculously doesn’t bitch about them. I don’t know how healthy pancakes are, but I’m sure Dawn would have gone on and on about how she makes the healthiest pancakes ever and only uses fresh fruit as a topping instead of pouring a bunch of sugary syrup on her pancakes. Not that there’s anything wrong with just having fruit on your pancakes. I just feel like Dawn would watch someone pouring syrup on their pancakes and go, “Ew, ew! I’m getting cavities just looking at that! Why would anyone want to put syrup on their pancakes?” Then she’d go on and on about how awesome she is for resisting the temptation of syrup and just using fresh fruit while she talks about how persecuted she is for her dietary preferences.
Dawn and Mary Anne head over to the Pike house. Claire sees Mary Anne and Dawn and asks if she can let them in. Mallory says yes, instead of grabbing Claire and making her pretend no one is home like I would have done if I saw Dawn on my doorstep. Or Kristy. I think those are the only two BSC members I would hardcore avoid. I would probably be friends with Mallory and I could probably have a few civil conversations with Stacey, Jessi, Mary Anne and Claudia.
Wait, I wouldn’t be able to be friends with Mallory or talk to any of the BSC members unless I joined because BSC members aren’t allowed to talk to anyone else without permission. There was this one time in third grade when these two girls told their friend not to talk to ask another girl a question. Even then I was like, “It’s bullshit to tell your friend not to talk to someone else.” Now I wish I could remember what I thought about the bad behavior in the BSC as a kid, such as the shunning when Claudia gets a new friend and Mary Anne gets a haircut. Did I accept it? I know I thought the BSC being jerks to Mallory was bullshit, but I’m not sure about anything else.
Claire doesn’t want to go because she’s still mad about being cut from the team. Mallory says she has to go because she promised to help Kristy with the equipment and no one is there to watch her at home. Claire says she’ll go but she won’t have fun. I think that’s cute because it’s something I can just picture a little kid saying. I’ve done that plenty of times when my mom drags me to something I don’t give a shit. I’m like, “With God as my witness, I will not enjoy one single moment of this event!” And then I do manage to enjoy myself a bit.
They get there in time for the game. Kristy is nervous. I guess I’d be a little nervous, too. Kristy worries that Jackie will break a bone and I’m an awful person, but part of me feels that Kristy will have a moment when she gets mad because Jackie can’t be in the game instead of being concerned that Jackie broke his arm or something. Dawn tells Kristy to have fun and says this is only a game. I guess Kristy is too nervous to yell at Dawn for daring to suggest that a game is anything but a matter of life and death. I’m sure Kristy treats every game like it’s the Hunger Games or some shit.
Mary Anne and Dawn see a hot dog stand. Dawn doesn’t complain about it. I’m shocked. I figure Dawn would be the type to try and get restaurants shut down because she doesn’t think people should eat steak. It’s a miracle Dawn didn’t march up to the poor vendor and start ranting about how many disgusting things are in hot dogs and doesn’t he feel bad about poisoning the public. During the game, Dawn sees a woman walking a dog and flips out because that’s Cheryl.
Chapter 14
Dawn and Mary Anne basically run out and knock over a bunch of shit trying to find the lady with Cheryl. Mary Anne asks what the plan is and Dawn really doesn’t have one. I can understand being so excited or shocked by something that you just rush into it without thinking of any other options. Mary Anne and Dawn find the woman with Cheryl in the park and wonder what to do. They decide that maybe they should call the cops. The other plans were confronting the woman or trying to steal Cheryl. I’m not sure how easy it would be for two thirteen year olds to steal a large dog in broad daylight in a park.
Dawn runs off to call the police. A policewoman arrives ten minutes later and they go back to the park. The woman is still there with Cheryl. The policewoman tells Dawn to let her do the talking. I shudder to think of what an interrogation by Dawn would look like. The policewoman asks how long she’s had Cheryl. The woman just got her a week ago. Cheryl cost a lot of money, but the woman says she was worth it. I feel a little bad for this woman. She cares about Cheryl and doesn’t have anything to do with the dognapping plot. The woman asks if there’s a problem and Dawn blurts out that the dog was stolen.
Dawn talks about how she was right about everything and I’m shocked she didn’t start dancing around screaming, “I was right!” Dawn is happy because finally someone believed her. They have to go to the police station to sort of the rest of the case. By the way, the baseball game is over. Kristy and Bart’s team won. The booger I picked is more interesting than this.
Chapter 15
The owners are reunited with their dogs. Cheryl is wagging her tail really hard and trying to lick Mrs. Mancusi all over. Dawn actually begins to understand that people can love their pets instead of bitching about how disgusting it is that Mrs. Mancusi let Cheryl slobber all over her and how stupid it is to be talking to Cheryl when Cheryl can’t understand her. It turns out there’s a lot of money in dog kidnapping. Anyway, the BSC is going to be interviewed and have their picture taken. I’m sure that once they go to school, everyone will want their autographs because the BSC are such huge celebrities.
http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/689169.html
Chapter 11
At the BSC meeting, Dawn briefly complains that the cops won’t believe her about the richest guy in Stoneybrook being the dognapper because she has no proof. The BSC wonders why a rich guy would bother stealing dogs, since he could just buy a bunch of dogs. I don’t know-maybe he’s running dog fights or something? Maybe he just likes stealing a dog and laughing when he imagines what their owners are going through? Maybe he’s a dick? Maybe it’s some sort of eccentric rich person hobby? I don’t know. I can’t really think of a decent explanation.
The BSC decides to stalk Mr. Tate to get proof. Mary Anne is worried because this doesn’t seem safe or legal. Kristy tells her not to worry because they’ll be in pairs and it’s not illegal to look at someone. What if he notices them spying and decides to hurt them both? I’m not sure if a grown man would be really intimidated by two thirteen year old girls, but he might be. And the BSC is planning to stake out the pet store, watch Mr. Tate’s house, look out for his car, and follow him. I just imagine the BSC being totally shitty at being spies. I can just see them wearing trenchcoats and fedoras and everything. I also imagine them making a ton of racket and just being really noticeable. I also see them contaminating evidence.
Kristy says they aren’t going to use force on Mr. Tate or anything because he’s a big guy. The BSC plans to find concrete evidence that Mr. Tate is shady and then let the actual police handle the matter. I would laugh so hard if the BSC went to the cops to present the case and they were like, “Yeah, we already solved it.” Now I’m just imagining the BSC trying to detain Mr. Tate and being all pompous.
Anyway, the BSC decides to keep detective notebooks so they can have a list of evidence to show the police. I’m not sure I should recap this because it’s so boring I don’t want to. I’d have more fun cleaning out my ears and examining the wax. I’d have more fun picking lint out of my carpet. But basically, the BSC doesn’t find jack shit. There’s some bullshit about Mrs. Tate maybe going to the hairdresser and going shopping, and a house being bigger than Kristy’s and that’s about all I’m recapping because I’m getting bored just typing it.
Dawn, Mary Anne and Kristy decide to go to the pet store while Claudia and Stacey stake out the Tate mansion because Stacey wants a sugar daddy. I’m damn sure Stacey would be one of those rich trophy wives I see in movies who try and seduce the pool boy or the gardener. Dawn goes to the lady at the counter and asks if she has a Saint Bernard. The lady says no, but they can get her one if she pays top dollar. Dawn says she’ll ask her parents and they leave. Dawn thinks it’s suspicious that the lady didn’t recommend a breeder or say when new Saint Bernards would be in. They see the green car and try to follow it, but they lose it.
Chapter 12
Stacey writes an entry in the notebook congratulating herself on handling Charlotte’s fear so well. I’m surprised the BSC isn’t more impatient with Charlotte’s anxieties. I can just see them being like, “Well, I don’t get anxious doing this, so why should Charlotte? Or maybe, “Charlotte’s social anxiety is inconveniencing me!”
Charlotte is worried about her dog Carrot being stolen. Stacey apparently knows better than to treat a child’s fears lightly. Given how they probably roll their eyes and huff when Jackie trips, I’m sure if the BSC doesn’t think Charlotte shouldn’t be afraid of something, they have a hard time hiding their disdain. I think there have been some books when some charges were afraid of monsters and the BSC were like, “Why is a four year old inconveniencing us by being afraid of a monster in a closet?”
Charlotte considers skipping the Krushers practice. Stacey convinces her to go because Haley and Vanessa need her and Charlotte has to go to school, so she may as well get used to leaving Carrot at home. I’m surprised Charlotte is actually being a cheerleader. I know if I tried to cheer in front of people, my throat would magically close up. My coworker had to film a commercial for work and I was like, “If I had to do that, I’d have strangled myself and been like, “I can’t talk.” But maybe I missed something. I kind of skimmed through the chapters about the baseball game.
Charlotte sets up some Home Alone style traps, under the impression that a little bit of water will stop the dognappers. She also combs Carrot’s hair the wrong way because the dognappers will think he’s too ugly and be like, “Forget stealing this dog. He’s ugly as shit.” Stacey and Charlotte head to practice and Stacey thinks she sees a dog being taken, but it happened so fast she can’t be sure. Sometimes when I’m half asleep I don’t know if what happened honestly happened or if it’s just a dream. Stacey tells Dawn and Dawn wants to run over and bust the dognappers in the act. Stacey points out that she can’t leave because it’s too dangerous and it would be rude to leave Kristy with all these kids to babysit by herself.
Dawn stomps her feet and throws a tantrum because she wants to solve the case and be a hero and rub it in the cop’s face that she was right and he was wrong. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dawn practiced flipping her hair in a sassy way and smirking at the police officer who doubted her. I can just see Dawn being like, “I was right! I solved the case and now everyone will think I’m a hero and that cop will have to admit that he’s wrong!” And then Mary Anne will be like, “And we reunited a lot of pets with their owners,” and Dawn will be like, “What?” Stacey says the only thing they can do is watch and wait. I just find it really amusing that Dawn basically admits she’s acting like a toddler. Now if only she realized she acts like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum whenever someone even eats food she dislikes in her vicinity. I mean, they don’t even have to be making Dawn eat the food and she’d still bitch.
Chapter 13
It’s the day of the ball game that I don’t care about. Richard made pancakes and Dawn miraculously doesn’t bitch about them. I don’t know how healthy pancakes are, but I’m sure Dawn would have gone on and on about how she makes the healthiest pancakes ever and only uses fresh fruit as a topping instead of pouring a bunch of sugary syrup on her pancakes. Not that there’s anything wrong with just having fruit on your pancakes. I just feel like Dawn would watch someone pouring syrup on their pancakes and go, “Ew, ew! I’m getting cavities just looking at that! Why would anyone want to put syrup on their pancakes?” Then she’d go on and on about how awesome she is for resisting the temptation of syrup and just using fresh fruit while she talks about how persecuted she is for her dietary preferences.
Dawn and Mary Anne head over to the Pike house. Claire sees Mary Anne and Dawn and asks if she can let them in. Mallory says yes, instead of grabbing Claire and making her pretend no one is home like I would have done if I saw Dawn on my doorstep. Or Kristy. I think those are the only two BSC members I would hardcore avoid. I would probably be friends with Mallory and I could probably have a few civil conversations with Stacey, Jessi, Mary Anne and Claudia.
Wait, I wouldn’t be able to be friends with Mallory or talk to any of the BSC members unless I joined because BSC members aren’t allowed to talk to anyone else without permission. There was this one time in third grade when these two girls told their friend not to talk to ask another girl a question. Even then I was like, “It’s bullshit to tell your friend not to talk to someone else.” Now I wish I could remember what I thought about the bad behavior in the BSC as a kid, such as the shunning when Claudia gets a new friend and Mary Anne gets a haircut. Did I accept it? I know I thought the BSC being jerks to Mallory was bullshit, but I’m not sure about anything else.
Claire doesn’t want to go because she’s still mad about being cut from the team. Mallory says she has to go because she promised to help Kristy with the equipment and no one is there to watch her at home. Claire says she’ll go but she won’t have fun. I think that’s cute because it’s something I can just picture a little kid saying. I’ve done that plenty of times when my mom drags me to something I don’t give a shit. I’m like, “With God as my witness, I will not enjoy one single moment of this event!” And then I do manage to enjoy myself a bit.
They get there in time for the game. Kristy is nervous. I guess I’d be a little nervous, too. Kristy worries that Jackie will break a bone and I’m an awful person, but part of me feels that Kristy will have a moment when she gets mad because Jackie can’t be in the game instead of being concerned that Jackie broke his arm or something. Dawn tells Kristy to have fun and says this is only a game. I guess Kristy is too nervous to yell at Dawn for daring to suggest that a game is anything but a matter of life and death. I’m sure Kristy treats every game like it’s the Hunger Games or some shit.
Mary Anne and Dawn see a hot dog stand. Dawn doesn’t complain about it. I’m shocked. I figure Dawn would be the type to try and get restaurants shut down because she doesn’t think people should eat steak. It’s a miracle Dawn didn’t march up to the poor vendor and start ranting about how many disgusting things are in hot dogs and doesn’t he feel bad about poisoning the public. During the game, Dawn sees a woman walking a dog and flips out because that’s Cheryl.
Chapter 14
Dawn and Mary Anne basically run out and knock over a bunch of shit trying to find the lady with Cheryl. Mary Anne asks what the plan is and Dawn really doesn’t have one. I can understand being so excited or shocked by something that you just rush into it without thinking of any other options. Mary Anne and Dawn find the woman with Cheryl in the park and wonder what to do. They decide that maybe they should call the cops. The other plans were confronting the woman or trying to steal Cheryl. I’m not sure how easy it would be for two thirteen year olds to steal a large dog in broad daylight in a park.
Dawn runs off to call the police. A policewoman arrives ten minutes later and they go back to the park. The woman is still there with Cheryl. The policewoman tells Dawn to let her do the talking. I shudder to think of what an interrogation by Dawn would look like. The policewoman asks how long she’s had Cheryl. The woman just got her a week ago. Cheryl cost a lot of money, but the woman says she was worth it. I feel a little bad for this woman. She cares about Cheryl and doesn’t have anything to do with the dognapping plot. The woman asks if there’s a problem and Dawn blurts out that the dog was stolen.
Dawn talks about how she was right about everything and I’m shocked she didn’t start dancing around screaming, “I was right!” Dawn is happy because finally someone believed her. They have to go to the police station to sort of the rest of the case. By the way, the baseball game is over. Kristy and Bart’s team won. The booger I picked is more interesting than this.
Chapter 15
The owners are reunited with their dogs. Cheryl is wagging her tail really hard and trying to lick Mrs. Mancusi all over. Dawn actually begins to understand that people can love their pets instead of bitching about how disgusting it is that Mrs. Mancusi let Cheryl slobber all over her and how stupid it is to be talking to Cheryl when Cheryl can’t understand her. It turns out there’s a lot of money in dog kidnapping. Anyway, the BSC is going to be interviewed and have their picture taken. I’m sure that once they go to school, everyone will want their autographs because the BSC are such huge celebrities.