#2 Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls (Chapter Six - Chapter Fifteen)
Let's finish this.
CHAPTER SIX
Claudia and Janine are doing homework. There's a thunderstorm outside, and Claudia and Janine start reminiscing about how they used to hide under their parents' blankets. Janine stabs the nice moment by mentioning psychology and Claudia kills it by telling Janine to shut up. Nooo! You two were actually starting to get along!
Claudia starts working on the still-life and says it's hard to figure out what shape the shadow of an egg is. ...An egg casts an oval-shaped shadow. Duh. If she was trying to talk about the angle of the shadow then that'd make sense, but Claud. Eggs are round. Therefore the shadow is also round. Is Claudia one of those fabled children who put the square block in the circle hole?
The police are currently in a car chase with the Caller in New Jersey. Aw, c'mon dude, people already hate New Jersey! Go to New York or something and stop everyone's weird glorification of it.
It's time for Claud's sitting job with the Marshall kids. I don't remember the Marshall kids character trait. Maybe their lack of one is their character trait. Also, I've never noticed before, but the names of these kids are a little...outdated. I'm wondering why the only Jenny in the BSC verse is Jenny Prezzioso (ew, ew, ew!)
So turns out the guy the police were chasing wasn't the Caller. And wouldn't you know it, the phone rings right after the report! Claudia picks it up and gets nothing but silence.
She thinks of using the code, which is still a stupid plan. Claudia actually suggests watching TV, something that will disappear in future books as Kristy's Kool-aid seeps into the townspeople's bloodstreams. Nina says no because The Muppet Show is over. Remember the original Kermit concept for Wilkins' Coffee?
Because of the news, Claudia starts getting paranoid. The phone rings and it's Stacey. They chat a bit about Trevor and piercings, but Claudia hears a sound. Claudia and Stacey panic and mess up the code. This is why you shouldn't have a code in the first place! You're gonna fuck up saying the code anyway. At least make it just a word, like “banana” or “fremdschämen”.
The sounds were coming from the Marshalls, who just forgot their keys. Claudia opens the door and Mrs. Marshall calls her husband Mr. Marshall, which is weird. Could AMM not even take a few moments to think of a first name for Mr. Marshall? Like Doug or Greg or anything, as long as Mrs. Marshall doesn't have to call her husband Mister!
CHAPTER SEVEN
It's a notebook entry from Kristy. As I'm reading an e-book, I can't see her handwriting. I remember it being worse than ten year-old me's, though. Kristy being spooked out makes more sense because she's sitting in her real live millionaire stepfather's house. Wait. Doesn't that mean... OH NO.
Hopefully Hellspawn hasn't consumed Karen yet in this book. Watson's over doing Parent's Night at Karen's school. Wait, aren't the students usually around during Parent's Night? Maybe Parent's Night is just a euphemism for “school orgy”. Oh dammit she mentioned Morbidda Destiny. Apparently Morbidda Destiny cast a spell on Karen and now she has more freckles. She know because Mrs. Porter squinted at her and raised one hand. Dammit, Karen.
Every moment spent with you is another moment I have to remind myself that slapping a child isn't right. Andrew tried to fix them three bowls of peppermint ice cream, which sounds like a really bland ice cream flavor. Ice cream's already cold, so what's the point of peppermint flavor? Andrew also let Boo-boo out. Dammit, Andrew. Slapping children isn't right, slapping children isn't right...
Watson acts like an enabler to an addict and bought Karen a book called The Witch Next Door. Dammit, Watson. Slapping a grown man is okay, right? Kristy decides to read her a Ramona Quimby book. I remember that Beezus and Ramona movie that came out with Selena Gomez in it. Never watched it.
Mary Anne calls and is still scared of Mrs. Porter. I'd understand if it was because Mrs. Porter looks aggressive, but it's because MA bought Karen's shit and thinks Morbidda Destiny is real. Apparently, MA's a bit gullible and she believed some dumb shit that her camp mates told her in one book. The difference is Karen's SIX. She's half your age MA!
When the books go from first-person to kind-of-third-person, I always wonder how the main girl knows all the little details of the other girl's “adventure”. How the hell did Claudia know that Kristy “drew her hand back, afraid” while she was answering the phone? Kristy starts freaking out when sounds and shadows pass around her, but it's just Mrs. Porter and Boo-boo. Looks like Kristy bought some of Karen's shit too, probably with what's left of her intelligence, and thinks Mrs. Porter's gonna go all Morbidda Destiny on her.
Y'know, I think that AMM was just planning to write a book on a witch called Morbidda Destiny, but the BSC books interfered with that. She liked the name so much that she put it as much as she can in her books. Unfortunately, that meant lots of chapters with Hellspawn in them.
Mrs. Porter's mad because Boo-boo was eating a mouse on her porch, so she came to bring both Boo-boo and the remains of the mouse. Kristy decides she's not really a witch, not because it was said by a six year-old, but because if she was a real witch, then she'd have kept the remains for spells.
Dammit Kristy.
CHAPTER EIGHT
It's Stacey's sitting job for Charlotte Johanssen, who I thought was black for two years of my life. There's a rare sighting of Mr. Johanssen, and he also calls his wife Dr. Johanssen. Ann. It only takes a few minutes to think of a name for a minor character. Her name is Laura Johanssen. That one took me 40 seconds.
He leaves and a thunderstorm kicks in. The girls bond over hiding from thunder, and Stacey says they should put on the TV. I live in the Philippines, a magnet for typhoons and rain. The TV is the last thing we would turn on at that point, especially since according to the writing, the thunder came BEFORE the lightning. At that point you should be praying that you don't get fried.
Stacey says they should put on MTV. Ah, days when MTV still had music on it. Which reminds me, why aren't there more references to music in BSC books? It's always shows or movies from the 50s but never music. They decide to watch a horror show but the power conks out in the middle of an episode. The girls huddle together and freak out at everything. They decide to go get some candles and they keep hearing noises. Any sense of tension or fear is ruined by the constant sound effects. Yes, AMM, I know the floorboards are creaking. I don't need a “creak, creak, creak” every other line.
Turns out the sound was just the Johanssens' schnauzer, Carrot, who I have never seen outside of this book. The phone didn't ring at all during Stacey's job.
CHAPTER NINE
It's MA's sitting job for David Michael. Here, we have our first mention of I Love Lucy in BSC, except it's not described as everyone's favorite show yet. MA freaks out and starts setting up traps all over the Thomas house. Look, close or not, don't use the Thomases' stuff for traps that may or may not be needed. The only highlight is AMM's poor attempt at making up a fake metal band: MA puts on “Poundin' Down the Walls” by The Slime Kings. Unless that's just Sam's garage band mixtape, I doubt that that title and that band name could ever go far enough to have an album.
Like the other jobs, weird sounds and shadows show up and the traps go off, but it's just Louie. We also get our first apperance of allergy accent when DM calls MA “Bary Add”. MA realizes that she's pretty stupid for using a metal song for an alarm so she turns it off and gets DM half an aspirin. The rest of the Thomas family comes home to see a pile of their cookware and a tape deck next to the doors. They think it's funny for some reason. Kristy walks MA home.
CHAPTER TEN
Alan Gray doesn't know how to deal with feelings yet, so he's just been acting like a dick to Kristy so they could go away. Kristy says that Sam took a punk girl named Tamara to the movies. She calls the girl a “what” because her hair is dyed and her gloves are fingerless. She also claims that Sam only went out with her to shake up their mom. Tamara doesn't deserve this shit.
Stacey takes it really badly, because after a half-hour of playing Candy Land, she and Sam were ready to walk down the aisle together. It'd be understandable if she was just upset, but she cries about it. Stacey, you only spent a half-hour with Sam. Give it time first! Not every romance is gonna be like a movie where you go on your first date and have sex on the same night.
Apparently MA can't stand it when others are upset. That's because their tears are taking attention away from her tears. A Mr. Willis calls and Claudia takes the job without thinking. Then the subject goes back to Trevor Sandbourne. Claudia's still sad because Trevor still doesn't know her name, so there's no way he's asking her to go to the dance.
The girls suggest Claudia ask him but she says “This isn't the Sadie Hawkins dance!” And so what if it's not? Girls asking guys is perfectly normal no matter what dance! I always wondered why it was customary for the boy to ask the girl in American dances back then, because boys are usually less confident and a bit more dense when it comes to romantic attraction. Girls meanwhile are the ones who, if they see a guy they like, they do everything in their power to impress said guy, while said guy stands there and has no idea what's happening.
The subject changes from Trevor to babies. Thankfully, none of them show signs of the BSCult yet. No one talks about what do to when the baby arrives and just talk about when they were babies themselves. Claudia's still hoping Trevor's going to ask her. Claud, do yourself a favor and ask him. It'll help to end this book early.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Claudia's doing homework with Mimi (!) again. She grumbles because the Math teacher gave her and only her extra work. Claud, your mailbox gets filled with letters from the school every day. You should know why.
In the middle of times tables, the doorbell rings and a Mr. and Mrs. Goldman who never appear again are behind the door. Look! Rioko (not a real Japanese name, even though Ryoko is) just called them Eileen and Arnold! AMM couldn't make up a name for Dr. Johanssen but she could make some up for two people who will never return again?
The Goldmans seem to have been robbed by the Phantom Caller, and they live next door to Claudia. Now you girls are allowed to freak out. It's not the real Caller, just some copycat, but that's still reason for concern. Mary Anne gets banned from babysitting because Richard's a Dick.
Claudia has another conversation with Mimi. She gives more great advice: “You know, my Claudia, that in order for things to change, you must change them. You will grow to be an old woman like me, if you wait for others to change things that do not please you.” All Claudia says in response is that when she does become old, she wants to be just like Mimi. Her personality and the time warp beg to differ.
Claudia's ready to say hi to Trevor for the first time. Instead she ends up dumping her Jell-O on Trevor's lap. Trevor and Claudia just stare at each other until Claudia runs away in embarrassment. Little did she know, Trevor was relieved, because it helped cover up his boner.
Stacey's going to the Hop with Pete Black while Kristy, MA, and now Claudia are going to just sit around at home. Have these girls heard of going stag? Claudia mentions that Dori and Emily are going to the dance too. She doesn't say who with, so I'll assume they went with each other.
The club meets up to fix the babysitting schedule and MA thinks she shouldn't be in the club anymore, what with Richard's strict rules. Before MA can escape the BSCult's clutches, they manage to convince her to stay with them. No, MA, you were so close! If Kristy offers you Kool-aid, DON'T DRINK IT!
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jamie's cousins are back. Wait, Mrs. Newton just called her husband Roger! Why the inconsistency, AMM? The Newtons and the Feldmans leave for a cocktail party. After the BSCult moment earlier, Kristy's beginning to grow in her role as cult leader, as the first thing she does is tell everyone what they can't do and if they don't comply with her rules, she'll hurt them. Cult jokes aside, if a babysitter threatened to beat up my kid, I'd never ask for their services again.
Someone calls the house three times. Later, the girls spy a shadow prowling near the property, so they call the cops.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The police caught the shadow and it turns out to be...Alan Gray! And he would've gotten away with, if it wasn't for those pesky babysitters!
Alan's been stealing the notebook from Kristy's desk and looking up the numbers and addresses. Kristy assumes it's to mess with her, but again, it turns out he just wanted to ask Kristy out and because he's an awkward preteen boy, he couldn't spit it out. I already said this in the previous part: Boys don't know how to deal with feelings, especially twelve year-olds.
Kristy handles it well and accepts.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
These last few chapters weren't very snarkable. I can't even make a book idea or a funny drawing out of them.
Claudia asks Kristy why she accepted Alan's offer. Kristy says it proves what her mom said, that if someone likes you, they pick on you, and admits that Alan's cute. This makes Claudia feel worse about the dance and Trevor. Claudia, if a guy likes you, it's either childish teasing, or awkward stupidity. Guess which one Trevor falls on.
Claudia gets home and Janine says she won't tell their parents about the police incident. Claudia says she snuck into the living room and Janine says it's sneaked. Google tells me it's both. Janine tells Claudia she's proud to be her sister, and Claudia asks why Janine and her don't talk like that more. Janine says “Because you usually tell me to shut up or go away or mind my own business.” If only Claudia would remember that more.
Janine also hides candy in her room, apparently. This small bit of extra characterization will be forgotten in later books like almost every extra bit that doesn't adhere to their main character trait.
Claudia realizes that she has no idea who was calling her. She suspects it's Rick Chow or Howie Johnson. It's pretty obvious who it really is by now.
Sure enough, Trevor tells her that he likes her, and he even wrote a poem about them. Alan found it and teased him about it. After Alan got caught by the cops, he decided to tell Trevor to man up and just talk to Claudia or else he'll get arrested. And so he did. Wow, these last chapters are boring.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Claudia and Stacey dress like hobos for the Hop. They all have fun and stuff and blah blah blah this is boring as hell.
Claudia got eighty-six on the Math test. A B! In a later book, when Claudia gets an eighty-one, her family acts like she failed again. However, this is an early book, so instead her family celebrates and Janine even gives her a hug. Bonding!
Because the Phantom's M.O. is stupid, he gets arrested. The BSC celebrates.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
AMM apparently did that phone code thing IRL with her friend Beth. Thing is, there wasn't any criminal on the loose, they just liked scaring each other. For some reason AMM thought this would work if there was an actual criminal on the loose.
I'm out. Call the cops and don't drink the Kool-aid.
CHAPTER SIX
Claudia and Janine are doing homework. There's a thunderstorm outside, and Claudia and Janine start reminiscing about how they used to hide under their parents' blankets. Janine stabs the nice moment by mentioning psychology and Claudia kills it by telling Janine to shut up. Nooo! You two were actually starting to get along!
Claudia starts working on the still-life and says it's hard to figure out what shape the shadow of an egg is. ...An egg casts an oval-shaped shadow. Duh. If she was trying to talk about the angle of the shadow then that'd make sense, but Claud. Eggs are round. Therefore the shadow is also round. Is Claudia one of those fabled children who put the square block in the circle hole?
The police are currently in a car chase with the Caller in New Jersey. Aw, c'mon dude, people already hate New Jersey! Go to New York or something and stop everyone's weird glorification of it.
It's time for Claud's sitting job with the Marshall kids. I don't remember the Marshall kids character trait. Maybe their lack of one is their character trait. Also, I've never noticed before, but the names of these kids are a little...outdated. I'm wondering why the only Jenny in the BSC verse is Jenny Prezzioso (ew, ew, ew!)
So turns out the guy the police were chasing wasn't the Caller. And wouldn't you know it, the phone rings right after the report! Claudia picks it up and gets nothing but silence.
Click to viewShe thinks of using the code, which is still a stupid plan. Claudia actually suggests watching TV, something that will disappear in future books as Kristy's Kool-aid seeps into the townspeople's bloodstreams. Nina says no because The Muppet Show is over. Remember the original Kermit concept for Wilkins' Coffee?
Because of the news, Claudia starts getting paranoid. The phone rings and it's Stacey. They chat a bit about Trevor and piercings, but Claudia hears a sound. Claudia and Stacey panic and mess up the code. This is why you shouldn't have a code in the first place! You're gonna fuck up saying the code anyway. At least make it just a word, like “banana” or “fremdschämen”.
The sounds were coming from the Marshalls, who just forgot their keys. Claudia opens the door and Mrs. Marshall calls her husband Mr. Marshall, which is weird. Could AMM not even take a few moments to think of a first name for Mr. Marshall? Like Doug or Greg or anything, as long as Mrs. Marshall doesn't have to call her husband Mister!
CHAPTER SEVEN
It's a notebook entry from Kristy. As I'm reading an e-book, I can't see her handwriting. I remember it being worse than ten year-old me's, though. Kristy being spooked out makes more sense because she's sitting in her real live millionaire stepfather's house. Wait. Doesn't that mean... OH NO.
Hopefully Hellspawn hasn't consumed Karen yet in this book. Watson's over doing Parent's Night at Karen's school. Wait, aren't the students usually around during Parent's Night? Maybe Parent's Night is just a euphemism for “school orgy”. Oh dammit she mentioned Morbidda Destiny. Apparently Morbidda Destiny cast a spell on Karen and now she has more freckles. She know because Mrs. Porter squinted at her and raised one hand. Dammit, Karen.
Every moment spent with you is another moment I have to remind myself that slapping a child isn't right. Andrew tried to fix them three bowls of peppermint ice cream, which sounds like a really bland ice cream flavor. Ice cream's already cold, so what's the point of peppermint flavor? Andrew also let Boo-boo out. Dammit, Andrew. Slapping children isn't right, slapping children isn't right...
Watson acts like an enabler to an addict and bought Karen a book called The Witch Next Door. Dammit, Watson. Slapping a grown man is okay, right? Kristy decides to read her a Ramona Quimby book. I remember that Beezus and Ramona movie that came out with Selena Gomez in it. Never watched it.
Mary Anne calls and is still scared of Mrs. Porter. I'd understand if it was because Mrs. Porter looks aggressive, but it's because MA bought Karen's shit and thinks Morbidda Destiny is real. Apparently, MA's a bit gullible and she believed some dumb shit that her camp mates told her in one book. The difference is Karen's SIX. She's half your age MA!
When the books go from first-person to kind-of-third-person, I always wonder how the main girl knows all the little details of the other girl's “adventure”. How the hell did Claudia know that Kristy “drew her hand back, afraid” while she was answering the phone? Kristy starts freaking out when sounds and shadows pass around her, but it's just Mrs. Porter and Boo-boo. Looks like Kristy bought some of Karen's shit too, probably with what's left of her intelligence, and thinks Mrs. Porter's gonna go all Morbidda Destiny on her.
Y'know, I think that AMM was just planning to write a book on a witch called Morbidda Destiny, but the BSC books interfered with that. She liked the name so much that she put it as much as she can in her books. Unfortunately, that meant lots of chapters with Hellspawn in them.
Mrs. Porter's mad because Boo-boo was eating a mouse on her porch, so she came to bring both Boo-boo and the remains of the mouse. Kristy decides she's not really a witch, not because it was said by a six year-old, but because if she was a real witch, then she'd have kept the remains for spells.
Dammit Kristy.
CHAPTER EIGHT
It's Stacey's sitting job for Charlotte Johanssen, who I thought was black for two years of my life. There's a rare sighting of Mr. Johanssen, and he also calls his wife Dr. Johanssen. Ann. It only takes a few minutes to think of a name for a minor character. Her name is Laura Johanssen. That one took me 40 seconds.
He leaves and a thunderstorm kicks in. The girls bond over hiding from thunder, and Stacey says they should put on the TV. I live in the Philippines, a magnet for typhoons and rain. The TV is the last thing we would turn on at that point, especially since according to the writing, the thunder came BEFORE the lightning. At that point you should be praying that you don't get fried.
Stacey says they should put on MTV. Ah, days when MTV still had music on it. Which reminds me, why aren't there more references to music in BSC books? It's always shows or movies from the 50s but never music. They decide to watch a horror show but the power conks out in the middle of an episode. The girls huddle together and freak out at everything. They decide to go get some candles and they keep hearing noises. Any sense of tension or fear is ruined by the constant sound effects. Yes, AMM, I know the floorboards are creaking. I don't need a “creak, creak, creak” every other line.
Turns out the sound was just the Johanssens' schnauzer, Carrot, who I have never seen outside of this book. The phone didn't ring at all during Stacey's job.
CHAPTER NINE
It's MA's sitting job for David Michael. Here, we have our first mention of I Love Lucy in BSC, except it's not described as everyone's favorite show yet. MA freaks out and starts setting up traps all over the Thomas house. Look, close or not, don't use the Thomases' stuff for traps that may or may not be needed. The only highlight is AMM's poor attempt at making up a fake metal band: MA puts on “Poundin' Down the Walls” by The Slime Kings. Unless that's just Sam's garage band mixtape, I doubt that that title and that band name could ever go far enough to have an album.
Like the other jobs, weird sounds and shadows show up and the traps go off, but it's just Louie. We also get our first apperance of allergy accent when DM calls MA “Bary Add”. MA realizes that she's pretty stupid for using a metal song for an alarm so she turns it off and gets DM half an aspirin. The rest of the Thomas family comes home to see a pile of their cookware and a tape deck next to the doors. They think it's funny for some reason. Kristy walks MA home.
CHAPTER TEN
Alan Gray doesn't know how to deal with feelings yet, so he's just been acting like a dick to Kristy so they could go away. Kristy says that Sam took a punk girl named Tamara to the movies. She calls the girl a “what” because her hair is dyed and her gloves are fingerless. She also claims that Sam only went out with her to shake up their mom. Tamara doesn't deserve this shit.
Stacey takes it really badly, because after a half-hour of playing Candy Land, she and Sam were ready to walk down the aisle together. It'd be understandable if she was just upset, but she cries about it. Stacey, you only spent a half-hour with Sam. Give it time first! Not every romance is gonna be like a movie where you go on your first date and have sex on the same night.
Apparently MA can't stand it when others are upset. That's because their tears are taking attention away from her tears. A Mr. Willis calls and Claudia takes the job without thinking. Then the subject goes back to Trevor Sandbourne. Claudia's still sad because Trevor still doesn't know her name, so there's no way he's asking her to go to the dance.
The girls suggest Claudia ask him but she says “This isn't the Sadie Hawkins dance!” And so what if it's not? Girls asking guys is perfectly normal no matter what dance! I always wondered why it was customary for the boy to ask the girl in American dances back then, because boys are usually less confident and a bit more dense when it comes to romantic attraction. Girls meanwhile are the ones who, if they see a guy they like, they do everything in their power to impress said guy, while said guy stands there and has no idea what's happening.
The subject changes from Trevor to babies. Thankfully, none of them show signs of the BSCult yet. No one talks about what do to when the baby arrives and just talk about when they were babies themselves. Claudia's still hoping Trevor's going to ask her. Claud, do yourself a favor and ask him. It'll help to end this book early.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Claudia's doing homework with Mimi (!) again. She grumbles because the Math teacher gave her and only her extra work. Claud, your mailbox gets filled with letters from the school every day. You should know why.
In the middle of times tables, the doorbell rings and a Mr. and Mrs. Goldman who never appear again are behind the door. Look! Rioko (not a real Japanese name, even though Ryoko is) just called them Eileen and Arnold! AMM couldn't make up a name for Dr. Johanssen but she could make some up for two people who will never return again?
The Goldmans seem to have been robbed by the Phantom Caller, and they live next door to Claudia. Now you girls are allowed to freak out. It's not the real Caller, just some copycat, but that's still reason for concern. Mary Anne gets banned from babysitting because Richard's a Dick.
Claudia has another conversation with Mimi. She gives more great advice: “You know, my Claudia, that in order for things to change, you must change them. You will grow to be an old woman like me, if you wait for others to change things that do not please you.” All Claudia says in response is that when she does become old, she wants to be just like Mimi. Her personality and the time warp beg to differ.
Claudia's ready to say hi to Trevor for the first time. Instead she ends up dumping her Jell-O on Trevor's lap. Trevor and Claudia just stare at each other until Claudia runs away in embarrassment. Little did she know, Trevor was relieved, because it helped cover up his boner.
Stacey's going to the Hop with Pete Black while Kristy, MA, and now Claudia are going to just sit around at home. Have these girls heard of going stag? Claudia mentions that Dori and Emily are going to the dance too. She doesn't say who with, so I'll assume they went with each other.
The club meets up to fix the babysitting schedule and MA thinks she shouldn't be in the club anymore, what with Richard's strict rules. Before MA can escape the BSCult's clutches, they manage to convince her to stay with them. No, MA, you were so close! If Kristy offers you Kool-aid, DON'T DRINK IT!
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jamie's cousins are back. Wait, Mrs. Newton just called her husband Roger! Why the inconsistency, AMM? The Newtons and the Feldmans leave for a cocktail party. After the BSCult moment earlier, Kristy's beginning to grow in her role as cult leader, as the first thing she does is tell everyone what they can't do and if they don't comply with her rules, she'll hurt them. Cult jokes aside, if a babysitter threatened to beat up my kid, I'd never ask for their services again.
Someone calls the house three times. Later, the girls spy a shadow prowling near the property, so they call the cops.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The police caught the shadow and it turns out to be...Alan Gray! And he would've gotten away with, if it wasn't for those pesky babysitters!
Alan's been stealing the notebook from Kristy's desk and looking up the numbers and addresses. Kristy assumes it's to mess with her, but again, it turns out he just wanted to ask Kristy out and because he's an awkward preteen boy, he couldn't spit it out. I already said this in the previous part: Boys don't know how to deal with feelings, especially twelve year-olds.
Kristy handles it well and accepts.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
These last few chapters weren't very snarkable. I can't even make a book idea or a funny drawing out of them.
Claudia asks Kristy why she accepted Alan's offer. Kristy says it proves what her mom said, that if someone likes you, they pick on you, and admits that Alan's cute. This makes Claudia feel worse about the dance and Trevor. Claudia, if a guy likes you, it's either childish teasing, or awkward stupidity. Guess which one Trevor falls on.
Claudia gets home and Janine says she won't tell their parents about the police incident. Claudia says she snuck into the living room and Janine says it's sneaked. Google tells me it's both. Janine tells Claudia she's proud to be her sister, and Claudia asks why Janine and her don't talk like that more. Janine says “Because you usually tell me to shut up or go away or mind my own business.” If only Claudia would remember that more.
Janine also hides candy in her room, apparently. This small bit of extra characterization will be forgotten in later books like almost every extra bit that doesn't adhere to their main character trait.
Claudia realizes that she has no idea who was calling her. She suspects it's Rick Chow or Howie Johnson. It's pretty obvious who it really is by now.
Sure enough, Trevor tells her that he likes her, and he even wrote a poem about them. Alan found it and teased him about it. After Alan got caught by the cops, he decided to tell Trevor to man up and just talk to Claudia or else he'll get arrested. And so he did. Wow, these last chapters are boring.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Claudia and Stacey dress like hobos for the Hop. They all have fun and stuff and blah blah blah this is boring as hell.
Claudia got eighty-six on the Math test. A B! In a later book, when Claudia gets an eighty-one, her family acts like she failed again. However, this is an early book, so instead her family celebrates and Janine even gives her a hug. Bonding!
Because the Phantom's M.O. is stupid, he gets arrested. The BSC celebrates.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
AMM apparently did that phone code thing IRL with her friend Beth. Thing is, there wasn't any criminal on the loose, they just liked scaring each other. For some reason AMM thought this would work if there was an actual criminal on the loose.
I'm out. Call the cops and don't drink the Kool-aid.