Comments | bsg1000: The Last Frack: Recollection

ancarett in bsg1000

The Last Frack: Recollection

Feb 10, 2005 07:55

1000 words exactly. How about them apples? This one has been a pain to write. It sat at 200 words for three days, ballooned to 1250 and then happily cooperated in its own pruning back to 1000 ( Read more... )

Comments 11

danahid February 10 2005, 13:46:15 UTC

This feels very much like Lee to me. You nailed his characterization, Captain Dipstick or no. :-) I love the details that make so much sense: Lee's wanting to work out the events before he had to talk to the woman in whose bed he found himself; Lee's musings about wanting to leave the military and settling down, having kids, and coming home to them every night (sniffle)... This paragraph in particular struck me as very Lee:

It had been . . . very enjoyable, Lee admitted to himself. Losing himself in the moment wasn’t one of his strong points. He tended to overanalyze matters of the heart, unlike his brother, Zack, who’d always gone after what or who he wanted with no hesitation. Thinking of Zack brought a tightness to his throat and Lee clenched his jaw, willing the memories and anger away. That was two years ago. He had to move on.

And then your perfect, perfect ending: "a memento of yet one more person who shouldn't be forgotten" -- Wow.

Wonderful job!

ancarett February 10 2005, 16:44:38 UTC

Thank you for the praise and the detailed feedback. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it -- writing Lee here was hard to do since he is so private a character, but I kept seeing him in some sort of situation like this, wanting to keep control of himself and still being driven by the ghosts of the past.

amphetamine_47 February 10 2005, 17:24:47 UTC

VERY nice...a believable situation, IMHO. Nicely done with going into Lee's thoughts/feelings...He needs a hug! ;)

ancarett February 11 2005, 00:46:26 UTC

Poor Lee. Nothing's ever easy for him, is it and he carries around a load of guilt for so many things, one more burden wouldn't hurt, would it?

I still feel like a nasty Apollo-torturer, though. . . .

hoorayforpokey February 10 2005, 20:07:24 UTC

As soon as I saw the name "Shelly," it got me thinking of another woman with that name he might be having a one-night-stand with. I'm glad it wasn't her.

But anyway, I agree, nice story.

ancarett February 11 2005, 00:47:35 UTC

Thanks! Sorry if the name gave you a scare -- there's one drawback to the ordinary names they're using in the new series!

(The comment has been removed)

ancarett February 11 2005, 00:48:12 UTC

Boy Scout, indeed, yup, yup! I bet he even irons his underwear.

Recollection innogen February 10 2005, 20:24:31 UTC

Another possibility that never happened because of the Destruction. Poor Shelley...and Lee. Very nice story. Thank you.

Re: Recollection ancarett February 11 2005, 00:49:33 UTC

Yes, there didn't seem to be any way to write this up without the Destruction factoring into the story. Thanks for your kind comments!