Fic: Midnight Witness (The Vigil Remix)

[lanalucy]

Title: Midnight Witness (The Vigil remix)
Characters/Pairing: Laura Roslin/Tom Zarek (implied)
Rating: T/PG-13
Original Story: Vigil by laura_mayfair
Summary: Sometimes we can only look on for fear of giving too much away, and sometimes, we’ve given more away than we ever expected to in a few sparse moments.
Author’s Notes A GIANT thank you to the wonderful newnumbertwo

Comments

[fragrantwoods]

The casual line that the detention centers started out as apartment complexes for all hit unexpectedly hard--the first of many gasp-worthy moments. I loved the style of working our way through time and the curious bond between these two. The "feel" of the settlement on that totally unsuitable planet was really strong here, all chilly and muddy and barren. And the Cylon commentary was chilling and quietly horrifying. Doral acting on his sense of humiliation early on is something we don't see a lot and was perfect here--I don't think much about him being the first "discovered" but I can see him carrying resentment towards Laura for that.

Tom is so vivid and complex here, all the parts and evolution of his personality and character on display. And Laura feels just like she would have been, returning to teaching after years of political machinations, and the slow, barely flirting with a relationship felt right and fits so well with their truck scene. Wonderful original, wonderful re-mix :-)

[obsessive_a101]

Thank you for the great feedback, and II apologize for taking so long to reply. I seem to be doing that a LOT recently.

I'm glad a lot of the tone and exploration and pacing felt true to you. I'm never sure when I am experimenting with time and perspective like this, but New Caprica has always been an interesting setting to me because of how human (for both Cylons and humans alike - to a certain extent) the struggles on that planet were, so I'm always grateful when I have the opportunity to explore, especially with the AMAZING original fic I had the opportunity to play around with. :)

[laura_mayfair]

This is wonderful!

I love the structure you've chosen, the POV shifts from Tom and Laura, then to the Cylons. The flashbacks add so much depth and nuance to what's happening in the detention cell. Tom and Laura's complicated friendship is so well drawn and fleshed out. And I dearly love how so much of these details are sketched through conversations about colonial history and politics. Conversation has always been so key for me with these two.

Your descriptions of NC are gripping, the apartment houses turned detention center, the constant scrutiny of their captors, the lack of food and supplies.

I love the line about Tom and Laura being unlikely to let detention drain the fight out of them, that glimmer of hope we're left with, that indomitable strength they both possess in keeping cool heads in a horrendous situation.

Thank you so much, remixer. This is better than anything I could have imagined. I can't wait to re-read it again!

[obsessive_a101]

*hugs* I can't apologize enough for my extremely late reply. ><" I am just really grateful that you offered yourself to the remix this year and I could try my hand at one of your amazing fics that I'm such a humongous fan of (which, of course, made me all the MORE nervous).

It means a lot to me that you liked this! ♥

Again, I'm really sorry for how long it's taken me to reply. I've been really - out of it and distracted this past year, which is no excuse, but thank you again! ><" I was EXTREMELY nervous about doing justice to your original fic, which has always been one of my favorites!

[laura_mayfair]

I completely understand. 2015 was like a giant black hole, in some ways, for me. Let's hope this year is better for us both! It WILL be better. :)

You're such a beautiful writer. Keep me up to date anytime on your writing projects!! :) And piano!!

/hugs

Happy New Year!

[obsessive_a101]

Well - I hope you've finally escaped it's gravitational pull. ;) I sincerely hope so as well!

And really, thank you very much. It really means a lot to me - especially as the WIPs just continue to freely pile up (the most recent piece I've posted has been in the works for well two years, and it's completely unserious crack LOL). That, and I think I need to make a resolution for this New Year to start playing piano regularly again - and maybe sightread/learn some new pieces.

*HUGS*

Happy New Year!

[altitudeandwine]

Your tale drew me in, with its well-worked out interactions, and its attention to details.

The exchange (or lack thereoff) in the cell was deceptfully simple, because it was filled with the abundance of meaning added by both detainees as well as their Cylon watchers. Well done.

The tension in the cell sections was well designed and such that I was rather afraid something horendous would happen. In part because the style you so aptly chose, which relayed the gritty reality of NC very well, in part because you captured that problematic era excellently, with a matter of factness in which acts of violence could easily occur (as they did in canon too).
So I released my breath when I read the end.

I loved the interchange between Laura and Tom. You caught them at their in-character best.
And thanks for adding Cottle in the end. It's always good to see him.

[obsessive_a101]

I am so sorry that my reply to your comment has come so late!

Thank you so much for this amazing feedback! I'm really glad that the grim realities faced by so many who lived on New Caprica rang true for you, and I'm really glad that the multiple perspectives and differing tones worked for you (and that I had managed to keep you in suspense til the end)! A lot of this is thanks to the original material, which really captured the idea of survival in detention neat and tense in a relatively small, precise scene.

I'm also thrilled that you found Laura and Tom in character! I hadn't really REALLY gone in-depth when writing Tom before, so I was especially worried about that, but I am extremely happy they both felt in character (and I HAD to include Cottle and his grumpiness LOL).

[singerdiva01_sk]

This is so great! I especially love the evolution of their relationship, punctuated by the banter that's so crucial with these two, and against the familiar backdrop of political maneuvering. The different POV's are executed really well and the one of the Cylons lends a creepiness to the whole thing, like, how long have they been watching, exactly? It's especially rewarding that they manage to give each other some small comfort in the cell without giving away anything to the Cylons.

Wonderful job, remixer!

[obsessive_a101]

I am so sorry for my VERY late comment, but thank you for commenting and reviewing! I am so SO glad that the shifts in POV's worked for you (that was one of the things I was MOST worried about besides the fact that I was remixing an amazing story from one of my favorite authors), and I am VERY glad that the banter between Laura and Tom rang true for you. ♥

Thanks again!

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