much like any mood i find myself in of late, tonight i fiddled around and kept thinking of how little i'm able to do while fiddling around, followed by the same conclusion, and repeating this a few hundred times within the window of 120 seconds. opening my ibook and logging into this old friend lj was just one of the things i could pull myself to ( Read more... )

the tv has been grounding me to reality for the past week or two. right now, i have CNN on mute. no matter how horrific the acts in the Middle East are, having on images of CNN flash by my peripheral vision gives me a sense of stability. without the tv on, my mind starts imagining too much ( Read more... )

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it's been so hard to write or to exhibit any sort of creativity. sometimes i think i've finally done that regretful transition to stagnant adulthood, where i live for work and to arrive home for saturation in front of my tele to watch Seinfeld reruns. but some positive aspects have come within the past few months: i've finished my mba, followed ( Read more... )

he fucking made fucking the most tragic story ever and he filmed it perfect. then he inserted a blow job scene to make it the most insignificant piece of work shot on film. i could of never of thought to of done that.

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the weekend was difficult. i've been taking a cocktail of figurative medications to help me ignore what happened. but it adapts.

sorry to be like this.

after taking a xani the night before, i woke in a sluggish haze via my mobile ringing around eight-thirty am saturday morning. an individual at work with a question, but fortunately i was able to give an answer that didn't take too much cognitive effort. not able to go back to sleep, i started my saturday morning ritual of coffee and browsing ( Read more... )

i'd like to think i'm acclimating positively to my new lifestyle, without je-- and with what came along with our relationship. at times when things are paused, which hasn't been too often lately, i think of her and look at our pictures. it's at those times when my heart get heavy. i find it amazing that we made each other such an important ( Read more... )

for the record, she dumped me.

"at the risk of sounding hokey or crass, i think we should say goodbye now. okay? goodbye jen."