my easter as follows ...
dear reader,
i probably called you at 2 a.m. to wish you a happy easter. so sorry. i wanted to eat rainbows and conduct pudding orgies.
easter party --> genealogy research --> intimate past questions.
(there were so many strange white people in my house; i couldn't stop thinking about toni morrison's the bluest eye and i distracted myself by intently watching miyazaki's spirited away)
i come from:
trowell
suguitan
gunther
haskins
cabrera
castillo
etc.
criminal activity that's made us part of the corrupt bourgeois of pasay city, philippines.
she's vague about where they met and would only say, "we used to meet in the street." what did he say to make you love him, grandma? to make you forget your own family and follow this strange man to a foreign country? what was so special about his smile in comparison with all the others?
i hardly remember my paternal grandfather except that i used to admire the many tattoos he acquired as a medical foreman in the navy. he would take me to the bars and show me off to his friends. i never realized (and am quite surprised by) the magnitude of his love. when i left my parent's house earlier than my contemporaries, my parents found it apropo to give me a letter he wrote before his untimely death. and i cried and cried and cried.
how many men have you loved? she kept saying: "you know you always think you're in love but you're not really." as if she was passing on some sacred pearl of wisdom to me. but mom, if love was what you felt at those moments then it was love and that was that -- no matter what later retrospection or experiences tell you.//right?
were you ever consumed by hate?
when i was younger, i wrote an illustrated book about how my parents met. i think i made most of it up and to this day, i still don't know the entire story.
on the air force base, mom had a computer class with willie. she found him quite catching and after class, she offered to buy him mcdonald's if he helped her with some homework. then they went to the state fair on their first date.
now: why didn't i inherit that sort of courage?
she used to sneak out to the disco.//wearing a loose brown dress that could have come out of "summer in time" with christopher reeves --> her favorite movie as a teenager. she loved the romance and i hated to tell her that i was a contrast cynic. she told me about her college boyfriend of two years and i was uncomfortable with the strange detachment with which she spoke of him.
it puzzled me how she didn't know how to answer my questions. i think it's dangerous to forget about one's past. to forget what it's taught you.
my newest thing is to not think. about anything at all. like. now.
swimmingly,
lei.
i probably called you at 2 a.m. to wish you a happy easter. so sorry. i wanted to eat rainbows and conduct pudding orgies.
easter party --> genealogy research --> intimate past questions.
(there were so many strange white people in my house; i couldn't stop thinking about toni morrison's the bluest eye and i distracted myself by intently watching miyazaki's spirited away)
i come from:
trowell
suguitan
gunther
haskins
cabrera
castillo
etc.
criminal activity that's made us part of the corrupt bourgeois of pasay city, philippines.
she's vague about where they met and would only say, "we used to meet in the street." what did he say to make you love him, grandma? to make you forget your own family and follow this strange man to a foreign country? what was so special about his smile in comparison with all the others?
i hardly remember my paternal grandfather except that i used to admire the many tattoos he acquired as a medical foreman in the navy. he would take me to the bars and show me off to his friends. i never realized (and am quite surprised by) the magnitude of his love. when i left my parent's house earlier than my contemporaries, my parents found it apropo to give me a letter he wrote before his untimely death. and i cried and cried and cried.
how many men have you loved? she kept saying: "you know you always think you're in love but you're not really." as if she was passing on some sacred pearl of wisdom to me. but mom, if love was what you felt at those moments then it was love and that was that -- no matter what later retrospection or experiences tell you.//right?
were you ever consumed by hate?
when i was younger, i wrote an illustrated book about how my parents met. i think i made most of it up and to this day, i still don't know the entire story.
on the air force base, mom had a computer class with willie. she found him quite catching and after class, she offered to buy him mcdonald's if he helped her with some homework. then they went to the state fair on their first date.
now: why didn't i inherit that sort of courage?
she used to sneak out to the disco.//wearing a loose brown dress that could have come out of "summer in time" with christopher reeves --> her favorite movie as a teenager. she loved the romance and i hated to tell her that i was a contrast cynic. she told me about her college boyfriend of two years and i was uncomfortable with the strange detachment with which she spoke of him.
it puzzled me how she didn't know how to answer my questions. i think it's dangerous to forget about one's past. to forget what it's taught you.
my newest thing is to not think. about anything at all. like. now.
swimmingly,
lei.