(no subject)
I have a desire to change but i also have enough addictions to kill myself given a short amount of time.
THEN...
I used to be ever joyful, i'd have short depressions sure everyone does, but in the grand scheme of things, i was happy. I used to have hobbies and interests, i used to have friends i could talk to about anything, i even used to have a relationship with my brother where we may not have been the best of friends but at least he would want to hang out with me every once in a while...
NOW...
I am in a depression (mild yet lasting), i am a.d.d. like a motherfucker, and in the grand sceme of things... i'd rather die than keep going on this way. My only hobbies and interests are smoking, drinking, and doing all kinds of fucked up drugs. Other than phillip, i couldn't trust most of my friends enough to give them the key to my car to get something out, and my brother would prolly rather slit my throat then spend 30 min. hanging out with me.
I only see one...
I need to start making a much larger income, i need a steadier job, i need to develop the discipline i should have learned in high school, i need to become healthier and improve my physic, and i need to get back in school.
And here's the kicker...
I need to do it all in the next 6 months.
Out of the military branches the only one i would ever consider serving in are the Marines (airborne division)
If anyone can come up with any better options, i am open to any and all idea's...