You With The Sad Eyes (3/3)

[bubbleforest]

Master post

Continues from here.

One of his earliest memories was going to the horse track with his dad. It was really only the smells that AJ could bring up these days; horse dung and hay, a nearby man's cigar, his dad's musky scent that smelled like excitement. He could remember sitting on his dad's arm and all the roaring around him, his dad being the loudest, and the speakers making scratching noises that hurt his ears.

It hadn't really changed much.

"Honeydukes is taking the lead!" the announcer yelled into his microphone, to which the crowd responded with an exploding roar and several hats thrown up in the air. He was in one of the boxes with Brian, along with a dozen other people. AJ peered out on the track, leaning over the rail.

"I should've bet something," he said regretfully. "I totally had my eye on that horse."

"Yeah, um," Brian sounded pretty uncomfortable, and AJ turned around to find him edging further back. "Could you back up a few steps, do you think?" he asked.

AJ couldn't help but grin. "Why?" he said, leaning back casually. "You think I'm gonna fall down?"

Brian sighed exasperatedly, but he was smiling when he tugged on AJ's arm. "Would you just come over here?" he pleaded.

AJ relented, strolling up to Brian and sidling up close. "You're afraid of heights," he pointed out, pitched low enough so only they could hear. "And you still choose one of the boxes."

Brian sipped at his champagne. "Well, yeah," he replied, scanning the crowd with a casual air that didn't fool AJ for a second. "It's-"

"-the best, right," AJ chuckled, pressing his fingers to Brian's side. "You know, one of these days you gotta learn that the best isn't always what other people say it is."

Brian glanced at him, amusement bright in his eyes, and was about to speak when Kevin walked up to them. "Brian," he said, giving AJ a quick look. "Do you have a second?"

Brian sighed lightly, setting his glass down on a nearby table. "I'll be back, okay?" he told AJ, touching his arm briefly.

AJ nodded and dug his hands into his khakis. "Okay," he said, watching as Brian and Kevin weaved past the small crowd and went into the hallway.

The fact that he'd been drinking almost nothing but water for so many years really should've taught him something. He went in search of a bathroom about ten minutes later, passing doors in the hallway and looking for that internationally known sign of a stick man standing with his arms and legs spread wide.

He caught a snatch of a heated voice - Brian's voice - when he passed an open door, and his steps faltered even though he knew the right thing to do was to keep walking.

"I'm not a little kid anymore, all right?" he heard Brian say, voice very even. "You have to respect me and the decisions I make. There's nothing else to it."

"I don't think you're a little kid," Kevin said exasperatedly. AJ took the few steps back to the door and saw Kevin and Brian standing in the middle of the empty conference room, the crowd through the window the only thing that moved. "You're just not the kind of guy to … to do something like this." Kevin exhaled harshly through his nose. "I don't wanna see you end up in another mess."

"In case you hadn't noticed, I can take care of myself just fine." Brian looked perfectly natural, standing there with his thumbs hooked in his pockets, but his eyes were hard, watching Kevin's every move.

"That's not what I'm saying." Kevin looked more and more frustrated, pacing a small circle around himself. "I just don't understand it."

"You don't have to," Brian said simply.

"Are you that lonely?" Kevin demanded loudly, and at that second his eyes flew up and spotted AJ standing there. Brian followed his gaze, eyes wide before recognition returned, and for a crazy moment AJ's pulse did an odd stuttering motion. He stayed where he was though, even when Brian just looked down and walked right past him into the hallway.

Kevin stood in the middle of the room, the crowd standing up to do a wave behind him. He stared AJ down, but AJ didn't relent. This was the environment he came from. Kevin stalked up to stand directly in front of him, his fingers flexing at his sides.

"He's family," he said eventually, his voice low. "Do you understand that? If you-"

"Yeah," AJ said flatly, staying right where he was. "I guess it's hard to believe that I'm not going to take advantage of him just because I'm a whore."

Kevin didn't so much as flinch. AJ pushed away from the doorframe, only looking away when he started walking.

Once he did, he found himself staring right at Chris, who was looking at them both with huge, confused eyes. "What-?"

AJ clenched his jaw. "Really bright fucking future for your prodigy, huh?" he muttered as he pushed right past him.

Brian tossed the keycard on the dresser as soon as they walked into the penthouse. They'd been stonily quiet the entire ride back, and AJ didn't know how to do anything but glance at him as he went for the kitchen and yanked the fridge door open.

Sighing, AJ went and picked up his cellphone from the coffee table. Might as well try to call Nick again. He plopped down in the couch and flipped the lid open, only to find a voicemail waiting for him.

He dialed the number, waited while the message came through, and promptly felt every part of his body go stone cold.

"Fuck," he snapped as he flew up to his feet, fingers already dialing independent from his brain. "Fucking son a bitch, I don't … Nick, pick the hell up!" he yelled into the phone, when all he got was the lousy waiting signal.

"AJ?" Brian's voice was closer than the distance from the kitchen, worried, and AJ whipped around to find him standing at the other end of the couch.

"Johnny," he said, out of breath and jaw so tight he could barely get the word out. "This guy, he … they did something to Nick and-"

"Your roommate?" Brian asked, his brow furrowing.

"I gotta go," AJ said suddenly, and then he was heading for the bedroom in long strides, already dialing again. "I gotta go make sure he's - fuck, I told him so many times not to mess with that guy, he fucking knows everyone and now it's-"

He was flinging stuff into an empty Barney's bag without seeing what it was, just scooping everything from the nightstand into it, stuffing his boots in there, socks he didn't think were his. He flew back out of the bedroom and was nearly at the front door when Brian called, "wait!"

AJ's hand was shaking as it rested on the doorknob. "Not now, okay?" he snapped, his heart pounding so hard it was nearly breaking through his ribcage. He didn't even know if he was yelling. "I'll - I'll be back later, I just gotta-"

Brian came up to him, his face pinched, and grabbed a hold of AJ's hand. "Here," he said, smacking a thick wad of bills into it. "That should be all of it, but I didn't really have time to check, so just-"

"Brian," AJ breathed, staring wide-eyed.

"Just use the rest if there's too much in there," Brian went on, whirring his head to keep AJ from talking. "I don't know if it's - if he needs to go to the hospital or - but that's at least three thousand there, that should be enough."

AJ couldn't swallow past the lump in his throat. "Brian, I didn't-"

"Shut up," Brian said vehemently, opening the door and shoving AJ out none too gently. "Just go take care of your friend."

AJ walked backwards the entire way to the elevator, clutching the money tight up in his fist. "I'll - I'll be back, all right?" he insisted, his legs so unsteady he nearly tripped. "I'll try to be back if-"

"Okay," Brian said, watching from the door. "Hit the button, AJ."

AJ did, although he had to smack his entire hand down on it to get it right, and he looked up with panicked eyes as the doors slid open. "Brian."

"Yeah, I heard you." Brian's smile was completely miserable, but he still nodded, hands fumbling uselessly at his sides. "I'll see you later, then," he said, and AJ could hear the halfhearted note in his voice even as the doors closed between them.

He nearly crashed through his apartment door when it wouldn't open fast enough. The lock rattled and whined when AJ shoved his key in there, but once it finally opened AJ burst through and yelled, "Nick!" so could the whole building probably heard him.

"Yeah," a gruff voice came from the bedroom, and for a delirious second AJ was beyond grateful for small apartments where you could hear everything that everyone else did. He burst through the kitchen and yanked Nick's bedroom door shut.

Nick was sitting on the floor with his back leaned against the old bed, a pack of frozen peas pressed to his cheek. When he looked up AJ saw his eyes were almost swelled completely shot, and there was caked blood by the edge of his mouth. "Hey, man," he said slowly, a slight whistle to his voice. "Aren't you supposed to be gone for two more days?"

AJ shook the trembling out of his hands and went over to sink down beside Nick. "Johnny left me a message," he managed to say, gently removing the ice pack so he could see Nick's purple and yellow cheek. "Said that he'd warned you enough times, and that I should probably go check up on you."

"Yeah, well." Nick snorted, but that was immediately followed by a wince, and he pushed himself up gingerly. "Not gonna be pretty enough to work for a while, that's for sure. Which was probably what he had in mind."

"Why didn't you come get the money I left for you?" AJ demanded, panic making his voice harsh. "You could've paid him most of what you owed him with that."

"I tried. Your fancy hotel wouldn't let me in." Nick let AJ grab the plastic cup with water by the bed and wet his sleeve so he could wipe off the blood by his mouth. "And then today I guess they decided to use me as their own personal punching bag." He squinted a little, touching his split lip. "I'm fine, J," he said, putting the ice pack back on his face. "They mostly went for the face. Nothing's broken or anything."

"Motherfucking bastard," AJ mumbled under his breath, sitting back on his heels and raking a hand through his hair when he didn't know what else to do with it. "You can't stay here," he said finally.

He thought he could see a small smile on Nick's face. "You always were the smart one," he piped up.

"Fuck off," AJ laughed breathlessly, inhaling deep to signal his heart that it could start slowing down now.

"I already know where to go, dumbass." He held up his phone, which was shattered beyond recognition. "But you're gonna have to call for me, 'cause I don't think this one's much use anymore."

"So what's with the pricey clothes?" Nick asked, as AJ helped ease him down on Lance's bed. "You look halfway attractive."

"Could you make him shut up for two seconds?" AJ asked Lance, who was tucking a pillow behind Nick's head and straightening the covers.

"I think that's a pretty definite no," Lance replied, his laugh shaky. He'd had a decidedly white edge around his lips since they'd showed up on his doorstep.

"I'm just saying." Nick tugged on AJ's shirt collar. AJ knew he was looking for the tag at the neck. "This guy's treating you pretty nice, huh?"

"Yeah," AJ muttered, going over Nick's face with a washcloth again. His jaw had swelled to double its size, and one of his eyes was completely shut now. "You sure we don't need to go to the doctor?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Nick waved him off. "Look, I would've heard it if bones were cracking, all right? I hear that's a sound you don't forget too soon."

"What if you have a concussion?" Lance asked reasonably.

"Then you should think of things we can do so I won't fall asleep," Nick said as he peered up at him, his grin unmistakable even with half his face in shambles.

Lance's laugh was startled. "Fucking unbelievable," he murmured warmly, pushing Nick's hair carefully out of his eyes.

Nick smiled at him before he blinked down at AJ again. "I thought you were supposed to stay for five days," he said, the sentence almost lilted like a question.

Nick really didn't have too many bruises below the neck. AJ had cut up his shirt a little while ago and was going over the five fingerprints dented into each of Nick's arms, the small mark below his chest. "I was," he said, without looking up. "But he told me to go make sure you were okay."

"Sweet," Nick said. He let out a rough groan when he shifted up, and Lance was there immediately, shifting the pillows behind him. "Well, I'm totally fine," he said through gritted teeth. "So you should … you know. Go earn the last of that money."

AJ didn't say anything for a while, just watched as Lance pressed a tentative kiss to the top of Nick's head. His mouth felt oddly dry. "I have it," he said eventually, his fingers pressing into his knee. "All of it. He wanted to make sure we had enough for hospital bills if that's … if you needed that."

"Wow, nice," Nick mumbled, his hand stroking over Lance's arm. "So I guess you don't need to go back if…" His head snapped back, and he winced briefly at that, but then a cross between a painful (that one was pretty much constant) and delighted look went over his face. "You like him, don't you?" he grinned.

"What?" AJ's hand flew up to the back of his neck. "No."

"Oh my God, you're totally sprung. I can't believe you. You're such a fucking moron." Nick couldn't sound more amused.

"I'm not just gonna leave you like this," AJ insisted, ignoring everything else that he didn't need to hear.

"Look, it's up to you," Nick said, still grinning like the complete asshole he was. "Go back or don't go back. I'm just saying I don't need you here. I got my own personal nurse at my beck and call-"

Lance snorted.

"-and if you just leave some money on the kitchen table if I decide to pop by the hospital, we're gonna be just fine." Nick shook his head a little. "Come on, man, you've got two days left of living like they do on that show about the young and the beautiful, or whatever it's called. Might as well make the most of it."

AJ hesitated. He'd been here for a couple of hours, enough that it was dark outside by now. He looked at Lance. "Are you sure you-?"

"I'll get him to the hospital," Lance said, smiling. "Honestly, the only thing we'd need you here for would be to sit around and wring your hands."

"And that starts to chafe after a while," Nick added helpfully.

He had to be insane. There was no other reason he was standing up right now, looking at them both and saying, "I'm gonna - I'll leave money on the kitchen table, all right? You have to use it for hospital bills, Nick, I mean it."

"Don't worry." Nick shook his head at him, as if he was still saying 'idiot' in the back of his mind. "Lance got it covered."

When AJ shut the door behind him, the entire stack of money was lying on the wobbly kitchen table.

The elevator ride was quiet, just him and the bellboy. AJ scuffed his toes against the carpet and didn't look up, not once, not even when there was a ding through the speakers and the man announced, "top floor, penthouse and entrance to the rooftop."

He padded out into the hallway, clutching his backpack to his chest. The elevator doors closed with another ding and he looked up, straight ahead at the ornate white doors that looked much bigger than the last time he'd seen them. His feet sunk into the thick carpet as he walked, whooshing steps that clacked whenever his flip-flops smacked against his heels. His fingers twitched like they wanted to jump away, and AJ took a deep breath that stretched his lungs.

He stopped in front of the door. There was a second of hesitation, his fingers hovering, before he curled them in and knocked, twice, quick raps before his hand flew down like it had caught fire.

It didn't take long. AJ counted the seconds - one, two, breathe in, three, four, breathe out - before the door slowly creaked open and Brian peered into the fluorescent hallway light.

"AJ?" he said. He was in flannel pants and a white t-shirt as rumpled as the rest of him. He blinked blearily, and AJ's stomach flipped violently as Brian slipped out of his sleep haze and focused on him properly. He looked AJ over, first with concern, then with a small smile that AJ could only recognize as relief. "Hey," he said, voice rough with sleep.

"Brian," AJ said helplessly. He didn't come here with a plan, and that was scary in itself, but on top of that he was wrung out and exhausted and he could see pillow wrinkles on Brian's cheek.

Brian's smile faded. "What?" he asked. He pulled AJ inside the hotel room and shut the door, shrouding them in near darkness. His hand stayed on AJ's arm, warm enough to make AJ's head feel fuzzy. "Was everything okay?" Brian asked, pitching his voice low.

"Yeah." AJ nodded, breathing in deeply. "It will be, anyway. I just…"

Brian waited, frowning in concentration, and AJ watched the sharp shadows that the bedroom light cast on his jaw and cheekbones. "What?" he asked eventually.

AJ just shook his head and slumped in against Brian, heart near hammering through his chest, and he distantly felt Brian brace his weight and use his free hand to steady them both. "AJ, what-?" he heard him say, so close the soft words thundered in AJ's ears, and before AJ could reason with himself he leaned in the last inch and kissed him.

For a second Brian went oddly rigid, and AJ thought, shit, shit, fuck. Then, in a flurry of motion that he was too dazed to understand, he was shoved up against the door and Brian was kissing him back hungrily, one hand grappling for purchase in AJ's hair. AJ's breath whooshed out of him and Brian caught it all, the darkness amplifying the small noise Brian made, and AJ yanked him closer by the waist and shuddered uncontrollably. Brian was warm from head to toe, and AJ brushed his tongue gently over the pillow-soft spot on the inside of Brian's bottom lip, invincible for that short second when Brian shivered against him like a man starving.

Brian's breaths were harsh against AJ's mouth, his cheeks and eyelashes brushing against AJ's with every feverish renewed start of the kiss, and AJ didn't even think when he started fumbling with the hem of Brian's t-shirt. Brian exhaled shakily and sucked on AJ's lower lip in what felt like gratitude, his hand drifting from AJ's hair to his jaw and then his neck, and it was AJ's turn to feel a shiver race down his spine. He pushed away from the door and Brian was right there with him, panting into his mouth before breaking away so AJ could yank the shirt over his head.

They tumbled into the bedroom clawing at clothes and touching frantically, only breaking away periodically to catch a few gasping breaths before they were kissing again. AJ tripped over his own half-removed pant leg and flew ungracefully across the floor, landing at the foot of the bed with a half-grunted oomph. Brian stared at him in mortification, chest rising and falling impossibly fast and his panting mouth red as sin, before he broke into a breathless laugh unlike anything AJ had heard from him before. It was high and kind of like a giggle and it was real.

He sunk down next to AJ and this close AJ could see his eyes crinkle as he smiled. AJ snorted a little himself and rolled his eyes, completely surrendered. He rolled on top of Brian and kissed him again, swallowing the last traces of Brian's laugh.

Eventually he fucked Brian slowly like that, against the thousand-dollars-a-yard carpet. Brian winced beneath him, fingers digging into AJ's sweaty back, and AJ dragged his lips over Brian's temple as slowly as he could, trying to calm his racing heartbeat and the energy racing in his blood that was urging him to move faster.

"Is this-" He rocked forward gently and Brian went tense and groaned, threading fingers through AJ's damp hair as AJ rested his forehead against Brian's and whispered against his mouth, "okay - god, okay like this, are you-?"

"Yeah," Brian exhaled shakily. His chest stuttered, eyes squeezed shut, and AJ kissed him again, carefully, moving as slowly and deeply as he could until he heard a moaned "yeah" and Brian's mouth went slack against his.

In the morning, AJ woke up to the sound of coffee brewing.

He padded out of the bedroom to find Brian sitting at the dining table in his sweatpants and a t-shirt, talking quietly to Kevin who was nodding next to him. When Kevin looked up, Brian followed his line of vision, and once he saw AJ his eyes crinkled a little at the corners when he smiled. "Morning," he said softly.

AJ silently ordered his stomach to jump back where it belonged. "Mornin'," he replied, rubbing his sweaty palms on his bathrobe. He shuffled over to the table and took his usual seat across from Brian. As he sat down he darted a glance at Kevin. "Do you guys ever not work?"

Kevin arched an eyebrow. It was really a quite spectacular sight. AJ wondered if they were heavier when they were that thick. "I just had to drop off some contracts," he said, his voice calmer than his appearance led on. He gave AJ a small, inconspicuous nod, one that AJ understood.

"All work and no play for the big guys on top," Brian sighed, reaching for the sugar bowl. "Well." He paused, grinning at AJ. "I guess a little play."

AJ laughed, startled. He chewed on a fingernail before sticking out a hand for the cereal. His fingers brushed up against Brian's then, who was going for the same thing, and they drew back immediately. AJ's fingers started prickling

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"No, it's okay." Brian sat back again, his smile so soft and so bright that AJ almost couldn't look. "Go ahead and-"

"No, it's fine." He fumbled out stupidly for a banana instead, his ears going warm. "You were already pouring, I'll just-"

"Christ," Kevin said exasperatedly, rolling his eyes so far back it must've hurt. "Brian called me up to tell me that he's taking a personal day, and I'm gonna go now before you two start going at it over the breakfast table."

"How long were you married for?" AJ asked.

They'd settled themselves down on the bed after the maid had been by. AJ was on his back while Brian was resting on his stomach next to him, his head supported by one of his hands. AJ had found a small rubber ball in one of the cereal boxes, and he'd been throwing it idly up in the air, catching it just before it hit his face.

Brian traced the line of the bedspread with a finger. "Five years," he replied, a quiet lilt to his voice. "We finalized the divorce about a year ago."

"What happened?" AJ asked, tossing the ball up so high it hit the ceiling.

Brian glanced up when he heard the thud. "I don't know," he murmured. It was immediately followed by a wry smile. "That's a lie. You know how people always say that it takes two to break up a marriage?" He chewed on his lower lip. "I don't know. I was always working. And it wasn't even … I mean. Kevin asked me, after his dad died. They'd been working on their own record label in their basement for years. I just stepped in, I guess. I hadn't even finished college." He shook his head as if remembering. "Leighanne is great, but I was always away. Night school, meetings, business trips. And we were only nineteen when we got married. I'm sort of surprised I didn't see it coming."

"That doesn't make sense though," AJ countered, setting the ball down between them. He laced his fingers behind his head. "You chose a job you hate over your wife?"

Brian smiled lightly at that. "I think the job chose me," he said. "I don't know. I thought it was cool at first. I just ended up getting further and further away from the music, I guess."

"Yeah." AJ nodded. "Things start snowballing on you before you know what's happening."

"Yeah," Brian said lightly. He placed his hand between them both, fingers gently skimming AJ's lower arm. "Was that-" he faltered, trying again. "Did it happen like that for you?"

"Oh, well." AJ rolled his eyes upwards, smiling when Brian did. "It's just like one of those stories you hear on those teenage drama shows. I came to LA to get famous, no one wanted to listen to me, I went broke and couldn't find a job." He paused. "And then some crazy guy dragged me back to his penthouse and offered me a shitload of money to hang out with him for a week."

"Sounds pretty decent," Brian replied, his smile stretching long and slow.

AJ felt his stomach flopping when Brian's hand traced down his side. "Look, it's not pretty," he mumbled, sighing when Brian blinked at him. "And I don't think it's anything you wanna hear nighttime stories about. It is what it is."

"There's so much more to do though," Brian said quietly, his eyes fixed on AJ's face. He slid closer, bumping their knees together. "Haven't you thought about…?"

"I've been saving ever since I started," AJ told him, once silence had settled between them. He bit the inside of his cheek and looked at the ceiling. "My mom doesn't know," he said. "And I'm not going back before I can … she's not going to know."

Brian was quiet next to him. AJ closed his eyes and sighed, turning his head into it a little when Brian kissed the corner of his mouth.

"One thing I don't get though," he murmured, slowly regaining his smug look as Brian stroked a thumb over his jawline. "Why'd you pick me up if you'd been with a woman for so long?"

Brian grinned along with him, slowly, his body heat weighing AJ down comfortably. "I had this thing with a guy in high school," he said after a while, into the shared space between them. "He was in the marching band. I had no clue what I was doing, but…" He lowered his head briefly, his hair brushing against AJ's forehead. "He had me tripping over myself for a while," he said fondly. "He's been with the same guy for about six years now. JC, I think his name is."

AJ smoothed his hand down Brian's back, a little surprised despite himself. "Guys in marching bands are never up to any good," he said, the faint edge to his voice something he hadn't heard in a while.

Brian drew back and grinned knowingly at him, bumping his nose against AJ's cheek as he draped one of his legs in between AJ's spread ones. "What about guys in leather jackets?" he asked, voice so low and careful that it sent a spike of heat through AJ's system.

AJ's hand traveled down and dipped under Brian's shirt. "Nah," he murmured, his lips pressed gently to Brian's jaw. "They're the good ones."

He took a long shower that night, standing with his hands braced on the wall while the water beat down his back. He wedged his fingers in between the spaces between the marble tiles and traced the lines, reshaping them to Tetris pieces in his head that had to turn and rotate until they fit, and thought about nothing else.

When he came out of the bathroom some time later, the fresh air hitting him head-on, the room was only lit up by one of the bed lamps. Brian was asleep sitting up, propped against the headboard with a book lying open in his lap, still loosely holding on to it. AJ smiled. There was a full glass of water sitting on his side (not really his side) of the bed, carefully wiped down of any stray drops on the outside of the glass.

AJ fiddled with the string in his sweatpants for a moment, his toes curling up in the thick carpet. He drew one slow inhale, and went over to the bed as quietly as he could. Slipping onto the mattress on careful hands and knees, he tried not to stir it more than necessary, his limbs suddenly too long and too awkward. He half expected to knee Brian in the stomach and jolt him awake, but Brian was still when AJ settled down next to him, his chest rising and falling slowly and his breaths slightly whistled through his nose.

AJ smiled again, almost reluctantly, and eased the book gently from Brian's hands. Brian snuffled, drawing in a deep breath before his chin lolled onto his shoulder. AJ leaned over him to place the book on his nightstand, not taking his eyes away, but Brian was settled now, his breaths returning to that same even rhythm.

It was so quiet. There was always noise - next door neighbors screaming and throwing china, Nick's drumming with ladles in the next room, strangers panting and whispering in his ear - that hearing his own breath now felt like a strange, foreign thing. He watched Brian somewhat helplessly, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt. Brian's clothes were already sleep-rumpled, wrinkling up at his stomach and exposing a sliver of skin. AJ paused just before he touched it, then reached down and pulled the covers higher up around him, biting his lip in concentration.

His fingers took on a mind of their own then, and he watched himself touch Brian's shoulder, the small wrinkle on his forehead, smoothing a wisp of hair behind his ear. Brian mumbled in his sleep and AJ found himself smiling again, as hesitant as the thoughts in his head. He skimmed light fingers through Brian's hair, watching his relaxed face, and hedged a little before he leaned in. It was a gentle press of lips, but he closed his eyes anyway, a goodnight but more importantly a thank you.

Brian inhaled sharply, coming awake with a small jolt, and AJ felt the faint sleepy-confused sound he made against his mouth.

AJ jerked back, just enough that Brian's half-lidded, questioning gaze swam back into focus. Brian opened his mouth to speak, eyes moving over AJ's face before they dropped to his mouth, and AJ tensed just before Brian sat up and reeled him back in. The kiss was warm, nothing but hesitant brushes of lips, and AJ shuddered when Brian's hand slipped from his arm and tangled into his hair, holding on as if AJ might leave, as if he was something actually worth holding on to.

AJ's hands traveled up to Brian's back, and Brian eased them down on the mattress without breaking away, settling down on top of him and tilting his head so he could kiss AJ deeper. Slower. AJ's hand dipped under Brian's shirt, feeling out the grooves of his spine, and Brian's breath caught against AJ's mouth. In an achingly sweet motion, he curled himself slowly in against AJ and ran exploring fingers down his neck. Something tightened in AJ's chest, and when Brian's toes brushed up against his calf he made a sound he didn't recognize, one that Brian responded to with a hushing one of his own.

It was hours before they fell asleep again, legs between one another's and AJ's hand still tucked under Brian's shirt, Brian's fingers running lazily through AJ's hair.

The last morning was mostly spent in silence. AJ had always been one of those people to spread themselves wide without realizing it, and he went around the penthouse picking up things like his watch, his rings, the pictures of his old dogs he'd taken out to show Brian at some point yesterday.

He left the clothes he'd bought on the chest by the bed. The only thing he kept was the shirt he'd used for Nick yesterday. It was folded up at the bottom on his backpack, nestled between his favorite pair of sunglasses and the tattered copy of The Phantom of the Opera that he always kept in there.

He went back out to the living room to find Brian sitting in a chair by the open French doors, slouched down with his legs spread and his chin in his hand. The wind was stirring his hair into fluffy mess, and it took AJ a few minutes to clear his throat.

"You're getting closer," he said.

Brian jumped, turning around to give AJ a startled look. "Yeah," he laughed. "I'll be going up the Eiffel tower any day now." He got up and padded across the room on bare feet. "I even snatched one of the crystals from the chandelier," he said, somewhat smugly. "How's that for doing the unexpected?"

AJ grinned. "You'll be shoplifting any day now," he said, hooking his backpack over his shoulder. He paused, twisting one of his rings around on his finger, voice casual when he asked, "What time does your flight leave?"

Brian shrugged, rubbing his hands over his bare forearms. "Three hours, give or take," he said. "I should probably get going soon."

AJ nodded, and looked down as he took a step towards the door.

"Chris called," Brian said hurriedly. His hand flew to his hair, mussing it up even further. "They're, uh, accepting the offer."

AJ wasn't sure if he'd expected that or not. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Brian smiled a little. "He also said to tell you that you've got an appointment for a job interview any time you want it."

AJ shook his head, smiling wryly. He was vaguely relieved that Brian didn't offer the same thing. "I think I'm gonna head home for a while," he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Maybe look into some night school courses before I start taking job offers I'm not qualified for yet."

Brian's smile broadened tentatively. "Good," he replied, nothing but sincerity in his voice. "I'm glad."

AJ scratched the nape of his neck. "What about you, though?" he asked carefully. "Are you going back to work?"

"Yeah." The word sounded weary, but Brian's cheeks were still flushed with color from the wind, and his expression was nothing but the promise of possibilities. "I mean, I'll have to talk it over with Kevin before I can even think about anything else. I guess I'll have to see what happens."

"Good. That sounds good." AJ cleared his throat again and looked down at his feet. His old boots looked especially dirty against the imported carpet. "You think they're gonna let me walk through the lobby like this?" he joked, tugging at the hem of his leather jacket.

Brian looked down, seemingly noticing AJ's old clothes for the first time. He let out a laugh. "You pull it off," he said by way of answer, meeting AJ's gaze again.

AJ let out a breath. "I should probably," he said, gesturing towards the door weakly. "Um. It's…"

"Yeah." Brian nodded quickly. "Yeah, I know. I should get started on packing as well." He didn't make any moves to leave yet, though. "You'll get back okay, right?" he asked quietly.

AJ smiled. "Yeah," he muttered, picking at a loose nail. "Public transportation never fails, right?"

"Right," Brian laughed.

The silence stretched between them for a long moment. "I want," Brian suddenly said, and AJ looked up to see him shake his head to himself and snap his mouth shut. He looked up as his shoulders slumped. He seemed unable to decide on what to do, but when finally he said, "I'll see you, AJ," and brushed past him, he drifted a quick touch along the back of AJ's hand. AJ tried not to show his shiver.

He closed the front door behind him while Brian was still in the bedroom. The ride down to the lobby was silent, AJ holding on to the strap of his backpack and watching the numbers descend on the small screen above the door.

He went up to the receptionist desk and leaned against it, propping his elbow on it while Howie was busy instructing a tall girl with a thick pair of glasses.

"I'll need those evaluation slips on my desk as soon as possible, okay?" He scribbled a quick note on a loose sheet and handed it to her. "And could you call JC for me and tell him I'll probably be an hour late today?"

AJ almost laughed out loud. Instead he ducked his head quickly and grinned into his collar.

Howie's gaze caught his then, and he gave a polite little nod as he put his papers down and walked over. "You're leaving now then, sir?"

AJ rolled his eyes. "I'm twenty-three, Howie," he said. "I think it's a little too early to start calling me 'sir', you know?"

Howie's mouth twitched. "Fine," he agreed. "Do you have a ride home?"

"Yeah, I'm just gonna grab a cab. I've got a little money left." AJ leaned over the counter and gave Howie's shoulder a friendly fist-bump. "I just wanted to say thanks for the lesson and stuff," he said, keeping his voice low. "You really helped a lot."

Howie looked completely different when he smiled. "Yeah," he nodded. "I think you did, too."

"I can't believe you're gonna abandon me here," Nick whined. He'd been sitting backwards on their patio chair watching AJ pack for the last hour. He dropped his bruised chin down on his hands and made a grimace. "I don't remember ever giving you free will when I recruited you for my two-person army."

"I already told you five times that you should come with me," AJ replied, unfazed. He dumped another load of clothes into his suitcase and zipped it shut. "Unless you've got something keeping you here." He gave Nick a pointed look. "Someone."

There was a pause. "You better fucking call me," Nick mumbled, his chin bopping against his hands. "Every day. Even when you become a huge rock star and I'll be able to come to all your shows for free."

"Every day," AJ agreed, ruffling the top of Nick's head. Nick batted his hands away in childlike frustration and scratched near the edge of one of his cuts. Avoiding getting scars was going to be a bitch for him.

AJ had left a voicemail on his mom's cell phone telling her that he was coming home as soon as he could. He hadn't seen her in almost six months now. And his dogs, although he knew for sure that Panda had been sent off to live with their cousins. Maybe Bernie was still there, though. AJ balled up a pair of socks and stuck them in the side compartment for later. He always did get cold feet on plane rides.

"Where are you gonna go anyway?" Nick asked him. On the other side of the wall Lance was humming one of those songs that AJ knew but never could remember. "I heard you telling your mom you weren't coming home directly."

AJ glanced at his backpack. He'd found a white envelope there, in the small side pocket when he was going through it on the cab ride home. Inside there was a two-way plane ticket, available to use at any time, and with it a hurriedly torn off piece of paper, a note scribbled diagonally across the sheet.

Think I'm getting pretty good at the unexpected. How about you?

"Dunno," he said, smiling as he reached for his carry-on. "I think I might swing by Nashville."