Fanfiction: Umma for a Day
“Hyung, so you’re really going back to Daegu for a day?”
Blinking his big innocent eyes at Key, Taemin raised a question while he watches Key pack his luggage.
“Yeah, I need to attend to something.” Key replied, as he stuffs clothes into his pink luggage.
“Then what are we gonna do about breakfast, lunch and dinner?”
“Minho will be your Umma for tomorrow.”
“Not anymore.” Jonghyun interrupted, as he stepped into the room. “I just checked on Minho, he’s down with a fever.”
“Omo. There goes your backup Umma.” Key commented, as he placed his fists on his hips, pondering.
“OH! Can I be the Umma for the day? Please Umma, pleaseee~”
Hearing Taemin’s pleas, Jonghyun snorted and exclaimed, “Taeminnie? Our Umma?! Omo, please stop hurting my ego. I don’t need our Maknae to prepare our three meals.”
“But Key Umma is younger than you too.”
Sensing that his sarcasm had backfired, Jonghyun retaliated. “But that’s because he’s the oldest one who can actually cook. Besides me and Onew.”
“Actually, that’s not a very bad idea.” Key remarked, as he placed a hand on Taemin’s head and ruffled through the boy’s fluffy brown hair. “After all, since Minho is ill, I would rather entrust Taemin as the housekeeper, than to have you or Onew in the kitchen.”
At Key’s comment, Jonghyun pouted his lips and stuck his tongue out at Key as he walked out of the room.
“Alright then, Taemin Umma. How ‘bout we make our way to the kitchen and let me show you how to wash a wok, for starters.”
“And how to wash rice too, Hyung?”
“Uh...wash rice...yeah, we’ll see about that.”
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“Hyung? Wake up...” Cooed Taemin as he gently shook Minho awake.
“Gahhhh, my head is spinning.”
“I made some Chicken soup for you, Hyung. Key taught me how to, and he says it’s good for your health.”
Onew sprang into the room at the mention of ‘Chicken’.
“CHICKEN?! DID SOMEBODY SAY CHICKEN?! OMO, THERE’S CHICKEN FOR LUNCH?! OMO OMO OMO!”
“Come on, Hyung, you better get up and drink your soup before Onew gets to it.”
Dragging himself out of bed, Minho tried to balance himself to the living room with Taemin holding him by the wrist. Pulling out a chair for Minho, Taemin lifted the dish cover of the soup and proudly acclaimed, “Behold, the wonders of my creation, Chicken Soup for the Minho’s Soul!”
Picking up a spoon, Minho commented. “Wow, it smells good.”
“Try it, Hyung!” Taemin exclaimed excitedly.
Emerging from a corner, Jonghyun snickered and said “Yeah Minho, try it. I’m sure it’ll be delicious.”
Glaring at Jonghyun, Minho scooped a mouthful of soup and emptied it in his mouth.
It. Was. Terribly. Salty.
Minho’s eyes widened as big as saucers as he prevented himself from swallowing that mouthful of salt water, keeping it his in mouth and making himself look like a puffer fish.
“Holymotherofgod. This is so darn salty, I can’t even-"
Minho’s thoughts were interrupted by Taemin’s chirpy voice.
“How is it, Hyung? Does it taste good?”
Forcing a smile on his puffer fish face, Minho nodded his head and proceeded to give two big thumbs up.
Noticing Minho’s reaction, Jonghyun guffawed so loudly, he thought his voice box was going to crack any sooner.
“Really? It’s good?!” Taemin clapped his tiny hands together.
However, that only made Jonghyun laughed even harder till his tummy hurt, and Minho swallowed the soup to tell Jonghyun to shut up, only to realise what he had done, before he rushed for the bathroom.
“Why isn’t there any chicken in this house?! I’ve been searching high and low for chicken! Come out chicken, wherever you are!~” Onew demanded with a significant pout on his face.
Recovering from his laughs, Jonghyun placed a hand on Taemin’s shoulder and asked, “So Taeminnie ah, got any food left besides the salt wat- I mean Chicken Soup?”
“Yes! Key Hyung taught me how to make Macaroni. I’ll get it for you and Onew-hyung right now!” Excited, Taemin happily skipped into the kitchen.
Minutes later, Jonghyun and Onew were staring down at their tiny bowls of macaroni.
“Umm. Macaroni. Oh-kay. Taemin you got anything else in the fridge that’s, uh...oh I don’t know, edible?” Said Jonghyun as he scooped up a lump of sticky macaroni before it did a three-sixty back-flip and landed on the table.
“Now now, Jonghyun. Do not be complacent, just eat whatever you’re given.” Commented Onew, before he turned his head towards Taemin, “Taemin-ah, do you think you could cook Hyung some chicken wings?” flashing his brightest smile ever before Jonghyun smacked him hard on the head.
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After the boys had finished their lunch, Minho went back to his room for more sleep, for the ‘Chicken Soup’ had unknowingly increased his temperature and the rate his head was spinning at.
Jonghyun and Onew decided to take a battle at their video games.
It was not long before Taemin inched into the living room with the pink laundry bucket (Diva Key at work again), asking,” Hyungs, do you have any laundry?”
“Room.” Jonghyun and Onew replied, as they both pointed a finger towards the direction of their room, never taking their eyes off the screen.
“Okay.” Obediently, Taemin went into their room, only to discover the big mess it was in. His puppy eyes took a scan across the room, passing a heap of Jonghyun’s clothes, blankets and pillows on the floor, before landing on Minho who was fast asleep.
“Omo, Hyung can actually sleep in such a mess.” Mumbled Taemin, as he proceeded to clean up the mess. Searching everywhere for Onew’s clothes, Taemin finally found them under Minho’s bunk. Apparently, the oldest one also thought it would be nice to have Minho find Onew’s boxers underneath Minho’s pillow when he woke up.
Just then, the phone rang.
“Hello? Oh, hi Key Umma. Yes yes, everything’s going fine. Onew’s boxers? Yes, yes I found them under Minho’s pillow. The food? I think the Hyungs all like what I cooked. Dinner? Oh, I have to go to the supermarket? Bring Onew along, but don’t let him get near the chicken section, okay got it. Are you coming back this evening? Really? Okay then see you soon! Bye Umma!”
“Why won’t you bring me along?” Jonghyun asked sulkily.
“Key Umma said that he doesn’t trust having Onew hyung at home taking care of Minho hyung.”
“And he trusts Onew at the supermarket, with all that chicken there?” Scoffed Jonghyun as he folded his arms in rebel.
“Yeah, apparently. So be a good boy while Taemin Umma brings Onew hyung to the supermarket okay? And tell Minho hyung that there’s still chicken soup in the microwave oven if he’s hungry again.” Patting Jonghyun head’s, Taemin proceeded to pull Onew out of the apartment.
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“Onew hyung, we have a list of groceries that we need to get before 4pm, so stay close to me okay? And stay away from chicken.”
“Okay. But if I do that, will you buy me chicken?”
“We’ll see, it’s not on the list today.”
“I hate Key today.”
“Let’s see, eggs, spaghetti, pasta sauce, and ooh, lollipops for Taemin!” Taemin exclaimed, as he reached out for a bag of lollipops and dropped them in the trolley. Before he knew it, Onew was gone. As usual.
Taemin knew he had only one place to look, heading straight for the Chicken section. Yet, Onew didn’t appear to be there, unlike his usual antics where he would prod at every raw chicken he saw, according to Key.
Searching everywhere for Onew, Taemin finally found him behind the cereal section.
“Hyung? I didn’t know you like cereal, Key said you refused to eat it when he serves it as breakfast. I hate cereal too, but Key makes me eat it. I think if there’s chicken flavoured cereal, you would it eat every morning, and- Hyung. What are you looking at?” Taemin finally stops his statement when he figured that Onew wasn’t listening to him at all.
Following Onew’s dreamy gaze, Taemin lands his eyes on...
“Hey. Isn’t that Victoria Noona from f(x)?” He exclaimed loudly, knocking reality back into Onew’s mind.
“SHHHHHH. Can’t you see I’m observing her?” Onew pulled Taemin behind the cereal shelves.
“Hyung, that sounds wrong.” Taemin placed his fists on his hips, imitating Key Umma.
“Whatever. She’s pretty, I like her. That’s it. And stop trying to be Key Umma, its getting on my nerves.”
‘It’s only for a day!” Winced Taemin, although Onew had already blocked him out from his world.
Gazing at Victoria dreamily again, Onew drifted off to his dreamland. Unlike Key’s happily ever after situation, Onew’s dreamland consisted of a replay of their debut music video “Noona Neomu Yeppeo” Of course, in his dreamland, the other 4 SHINee members didn’t exist. It was just purely him, and Victoria Noona, while he danced to the catchy beats, trying to impress her as much as his clumsy nature could.
However, during his inner thoughts, Onew had unknowingly drifted towards Victoria.
“Oh, hi there, Onew-sshi.” Greeted Victoria, snapping Onew out of his happy land.
“Uh. Hi. Victoria Noona. I, umm...” Panicking, Onew realised that his mind had went blank and he desperately searched its white space for some words to complete his stuttering sentence.
"Hi Victoria Noona! Would you like to come over to our apartment for dinner?" Taemin chipped in,innocently, not realising that his sudden suggestion had saved Onew a whole lot of embarrassment and trouble.
"Dinner? Key Umma is cooking?"
"Nope, he's out of seoul, I AM!"
"Really? Alright then, that would be nice." Victoria happily agreed.
Onew was probably too smitten and dizzy in love that he didn't know what had just happened, for he did not stop Victoria from agreeing to Taemin's suggestion, although knowing very well that the little boy's cooking couldnt do Key Umma's any justice.
Taemin's suggestion would probably be a wolf in a sheep's clothing, bringing Onew more trouble after all.
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"Its really sweet to have Taemin organise a candlelit dinner for us, sounds so cute and romantic." Victoria commented as Onew stepped forward to pull out the chair for her.
"No no hyung, let me do it, you go sit down." Taemin chirped happily as he pushed Onew back into his seat.
Well, Onew had no choice but to oblige, his heart felt so light, he thought he was literally floating.
"Victoria Noona, candlelit dinner with me. Oh my dubu, this has got to be another dream."
Yet, Onew was thankful that it wasn't another dream, and that he didn't have to wake up only to find his pants were stained, while he blushed at his R Rated fantasies.
By then, Taemin was almost done preparing the only delicacy that he could probably pass off at cooking. Macaroni and Cheese.
The recipe was easy peasy, lemon squeasy. Any 10 year old could prepare it at home for themselves. What Taemin didn't know was that the cheese, had to be refrigerated. And he had left it out on the kitchen table for a good 5 hours. Mac N' Cheese?
It was as good as Mac N' Rotten Cheese.
When the dish was ready, Taemin served grape juice with it to the couple. However, some Onew Sangtae had accidentally got onto him when he had touched Onew just now, and Taemin tripped on air, spilling the grape juice and the rotten dish all over Victoria.
Well, the silence that followed a number of gasps never sounded so awkward.
"OMG, Noona, i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to-Noona, where're you going?!" Taemin exclaimed as he watched Victoria stomp out of the apartment in a fury.
Almost bumping into Key in the doorway, Victoria let out a 'Hmph' before she strutted off.
"Oh hey, Victoria Noona, wow, you're a mess, and you smell like rotten cheese! Is that a new perfume?" Key commented, totally ignoring the death signals Onew and Taemin were desperately trying to show him behind Victoria.
"Maybe, if you were kind enough to teach your maknae how to make proper food, i wouldn't be standing here, smelling like rotten cheese. Goodnight Key!"
"But Noona-"
"I SAID GOODNIGHT!"
Key glared at Taemin as the Maknae pouted and looked down in guilt.
"Well, Maknae. Care to explain?"
Tapping the tips of his two index fingers together, Taemin mumbled, "Sorry Key Umma, i didn't mean to make a mess of everything while you're not around..."
Sighing, Key stepped into the house to check out the damage. He figured that just a bit of cleaning up would do the trick, and he sent Onew and Taemin to bed early so that they would not disrupt him while cleaning.
"But its only 7pm-" Onew protested, but clamped his mouth shut when Key shot a deadly stare. Onew knew that the deadly stare could only mean one thing.
'STFU and GTFO or else.'
Onew was smart enough to obey for he really hadn't and didnt want to find out what 'or else' meant.
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Later that night...
"Umma?"
"Yes Taemin?"
"Are you still angry?"
"Angry? At who? What for?"
"Me. For messing up. I'm sorry, Umma, i was just trying to help."
"I didn't blame you, Taemin. I'm happy enough that you volunteered to help, you've grown up quite alot. Umma is proud of you!" Key commented as he pulled Taemin in for a bear hug.
"Really? So you're not angry anymore?"
"Not at all, but i think you should still apologise to Onew Hyung for ruining his date. And i think we had better keep you out of the kitchen for a while..."
"Yeah Umma i agree. I think i'm never gonna eat Macaroni again."
Just then, the rest of Shinee came out, complaining, "Key, make us some proper human food. We're starving."
"OH Umma! Can i ask you something first?" Taemin interrupted before Key turned around heading for the kitchen.
"Sure, what is it, Maknae?"
"Did you buy magic washing powder, Umma?"
"Magic...washing powder?"
"Yes, when i threw all the clothes together and washed them with the powder, the white clothes came out in different colours!"
The rest of Shinee instantly facepalmed and Key desperately held onto Minho for support before he himself fainted.
"Maknae, you're supposed to separate the whites from the coloured clothes..."
"Oh...really?" Taemin gasped and Jonghyun ran towards the washing machine.
And from inside the laundry room came a ear-piercing yell.
"SHITTT!!! MY WHITE BOXERS ARE PINKKK!!!"
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The End. :)
Thanks for reading, comments are greatly appreciated. :D