S'mores - take 2
Title: Smores
Word Count: 4,900 (-ish)
Type: Fluff/Romance
Rated: PG-13
Summary: This is a longer version of my original Smores fic, extended out just a wee bit more. And damn, I wrote something under 5,000 words! Wooo!
Thank you: My precious bb anobakitay for being my beta (even though I “volunteered” her into it) and fixing my shit ramblings…er stuff.
**
It was good thing that Adam trusted Kris so much, otherwise, there would be hell to pay. This “kidnapping” thing wasn’t cool. Not cool at all. All Adam knew was that he had had totally different ideas on how to spend his birthday. Being woken up at the ass-crack of dawn, blindfolded, stuffed in a car and driven who the hell knows where was definitely not it.
So instead of sleeping in, having an amazing lunch with his family, and ending up at a fabulous club dancing the night away with his friends, Adam couldn’t see, talk or hear and was pretty much unable to move his hands or arms while stuck in the backseat of a car. He had no idea where they were going, who all was involved or what was going to happen. No, this was definitely not how he imagined spending his birthday.
The only good thing about this whole situation was that Kris was driving.
Maybe.
He hoped.
**
The idea came to Kris suddenly one night as he was falling asleep. His days were busy with writing and recording new material, but the evenings and nights were lonely as hell. He kept telling himself it was better being lonely than being trapped in a loveless marriage. The holidays were especially tough, but it was his decision, one he didn’t regret. However, as the nights dragged on, he wondered.
Kris wasn’t sure if he would have been able to pull this off without Adam’s friends’ help. They liked him okay, but this was asking something from them that he didn’t know if he had the right to ask; a huge favor, he didn’t know if he was in the category of being able to ask for, much less a big one like this. He knew he’d be indebted to them forever, and he was nervous asking. Eventually, they all came around. It scared him that it was easier than he thought it would be.
Whether it was to freak Adam out or to actually help, Kris had no idea. But, he didn’t care. Now if he could actually go through with what he had planned for the rest of the weekend part…
He called Brad first. If Brad was receptive, then the rest of the group should be easy. Brad had listened quietly, almost too quietly, as Kris told him his idea. Then, a giant cackle burst through the phone and Brad nearly hung up on him from laughing so hard. “Oh sweetie, this is the like best idea ever. I’ll be there with bells and whistles on!”
He decided to visit Danielle in person. She was Adam’s best friend and would have no problem squashing the plan if it was terrible. Kris would also know how Adam’s friends felt about having him back in Adam’s life if she just threw him out on his ass. When he arrived, Kris lucked out because Tommy and Monte were at her place, so he didn’t have to make individual visits or phone calls. As Kris finished, Danielle stared, jaw wide open, then fell to the floor laughing. Tommy leaned back against the couch and nodded. Monte stroked his shin and smirked.
“He’s going to kill you, you know,” Danielle stuttered, still laughing.
Kris couldn’t do anything but shrug, “Just thought it might be fun.”
“Oh, believe me, it will be…” Danielle said trying to breathe.
“For us!” Monte cackled.
Kris pretty much asked them all to lie to Adam. The plan was for them to pretend that they had no plans made for Adam’s birthday. They were to ignore the giant hints he was throwing around, the closer it got to the actual day. But, it wasn’t like it was a “big” birthday per se, just Adam’s 29th. The following year they would be able to do whatever spectacular thing they normally would do for Adam, but this year, Kris wanted to do something more personal. And have Adam alone.
They all met at 6:30AM in Adam’s driveway. Kris had everything he needed packed in the car-except Adam. This is where Adam’s friends were needed. He had their assurance that they would do everything Kris outlined, but he was still nervous.
He couldn’t believe Brad and Tommy actually showed up.
It was so early in the morning, he wouldn’t have blamed them all for bailing, but here they were with Starbucks cups in their hands. Puffs of steam streamed out from everyone’s breath. Despite what people in other states thought about Los Angeles, January was still winter, which meant it was cold. Not East Coast cold, but cold nonetheless.
They quickly made their way up to the front door. Danielle used her key to open it and punched in the security code. Quietly, they headed upstairs to Adam’s bedroom. Kris nervously picked at his jacket zipper until Danielle glared at him. Kris slinked to the back of the group and waited.
The master bedroom door was partially open. Kris could see Adam sprawled on his stomach, head turned away. His zebra print blanket scrunched in the corner, clean white sheets wrapped around his long torso. Kris exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath. He could do this.
Kris watched nervously as Danielle gently sat on the edge of the bed and combed through Adam’s hair with her fingers. Adam’s soft moan hit Kris from across the room. He felt the claws of jealousy pull at him. He wanted to be the one on the bed. But the thought of dragging Danielle away from Adam’s side in front of everyone made him stop. It didn’t stop him from thinking that he should be the one rubbing Adam’s hair and back; that he should be the one in the bed with him. Tommy looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Kris turned away, realizing he must have made a sound.
Adam rolled to his side, turned his head and smiled sleepily, “Hey baby. What are you doing? Everything okay? What time is it?”
Danielle murmured something Kris couldn’t hear. Adam turned onto his back, stretched out like a cat and rubbed his eyes. The next few minutes went by so quickly, Kris wasn’t exactly sure what had happened. All he knew was that the four of them had Adam dressed, bound and gagged, headphones over his ears and stuffed into the backseat of Kris’s car.
**
Today was just not his day. Adam glared at the scene around him. Obviously the Fates hated him. How else to explain that his friends had decided to have him “kidnapped”? And why would Kris bring him up to the mountains? On his birthday weekend no less?
Some friends, he thought. Like seriously? Him? Adam Lambert, in the mountains? Yeah, this was going to get ugly quick. Not that Adam had anything against camping. Or the mountains. Or nature in general. He enjoyed it all enough, but as a casual observer, not a participant. It just wasn’t his thing.
Anyone who knew him, hell even those who didn’t would know think this wasn’t a good idea. His idea of camping was maybe a mountain resort. With in-door plumbing and sheets with a minimum thread count of 400 and possibly cute, rugged mountain men to look at. He looked over to Kris and felt the corner of his lips curl into a small smile, not rugged, but definitely cute.
He was startled out of staring at Kris by the sound of birds taking off from the trees behind. He scowled again. His so-called friends thought this would be hysterical. He couldn’t believe Kris got them to go along with this. Ha. Ha. Fuckers.
They descended on him like vultures over a carcass in the desert. He couldn’t move fast enough to get away from them. Next thing he knew, he was lifted off the bed and dragged into the bathroom. Monte stood guard at the closed door to make sure he didn’t try to escape or try anything funny. He just pointed his chin towards the sink and toilet. He turned his back as Adam quickly brushed his teeth and emptied his bladder. He went through the motions, his voice apparently lost in the shock of everything going on around him.
Monte dragged him out of the bathroom, put a blindfold and gag on him and held onto his arms. Adam had stood there in his pajama bottoms and a thin t-shirt while he heard the activity around him. The closet door being opened, drawers being shut, zippers being zipped. He thought he had heard Tommy’s and Kris’s name being thrown around as the people in his room ran around putting things together. So, the four of them had conspired to do this. And since when was Kris back in town and participating in this? Adam would kill whoever thought up this cockamamie idea.
Before they shuffled him downstairs, Danielle had the nerve to giggle. “I’m sorry, baby, but it was just too good to pass up. We’ll make it up to you when you’re back, I swear. But have fun, okay?”
They led him carefully down the stairs. At the doorway, Monte slung a heavy arm around his shoulders. “Just go with it,” he whispered. But Adam heard the laughter in his voice. “It won’t be all that bad.”
Then headphones covered his ears. The only saving grace was that it was at least playing music he liked.
Adam sighed as he sat on the rock and watched Kris move around him. He rubbed his wrists, trying to wrangle the zip ties into a more comfortable position. That’s right. While kidnapping him, not only did they blindfolded him, but wrapped his wrists in zip ties so he couldn’t move. At least be classy enough for fuzzy handcuffs. He was going to kill everyone if and when he got back to civilization.
He had been let out of the car carefully, but only one person was helping him out. Calloused, warm hands. Adam was familiar with those hands. It was Kris. It had to be Kris and only Kris. And as Adam suspected when the headphones and blindfold were taken off, it was Kris’s car. Only the two of them here. Wherever here was.
Adam watched out of the corner of his eyes as Kris unloaded bags and various camping equipment. Kris had set him down on this rock as soon as they parked. Adam experienced mild shock as light and sound speared into him. He hadn’t moved as Kris removed the gag, blindfold and headphones. Kris hesitated as if expecting an earful from Adam. When Adam didn’t say anything, he just led him over to the flat rock and walked away.
Kris was taking out a lot of stuff from the trunk. Adam shivered. He didn’t even want to think about it.
**
Kris tried to maintain his cool on the drive up to Big Bear. He knew it wasn’t Adam’s thing, but it was the only place he could think of that would be remote and quiet enough to go through what he had to do. The gag and headphones might have been too much, but Kris needed to concentrate and not have Adam talk him out of this. Or yell at him.
Now he went around the campground setting everything up. It would have been easier with another set of hands, but he didn’t know how helpful Adam would be. And, he wanted to be alone with him, so having more people was not a good idea.
Kris peeked over at Adam as he pitched the tent. He hadn’t moved from the spot since Kris placed him there 20 minutes ago. He took off the gag, blindfold and headphones as soon as they got out of the car, and he stiffened waiting for the murderous glare or even a loud missive, but all Adam did was look around. In fact, he hadn’t said a word. He hadn’t even looked at Kris.
Gnawing his lip, Kris glanced at Adam again. He was picking at his nail polish, head down, dark hair sticking up and away from his face. They had barely given him time to freshen up in the bathroom before he was shoved into the car. Kris had crammed a couple shirts, hoodies, jeans and socks into a duffel bag while Monte, Danielle and Tommy tied Adam up.
“Um, do you need anything? Are you okay?” Kris called out tentatively.
Kris sighed as Adam continued to ignore him. He went back and forth from the car to unload the supplies. He finally settled the camp enough to get the fire going. He stoked the fire higher and stronger and stared at Adam through the flames. His face was scrubbed clean with only the remnants of lightly smudged eyeliner. He was wearing a plaid flannel shirt over the t-shirt he slept in and his pajama bottoms. The scuffed Doc Martens were untied, the sides splayed out to reveal mismatched socks.
Smiling, Kris went to the cooler and grabbed the thermos. He debated which one to pour first until he saw Adam shiver slightly. He grabbed the one with hot chocolate and poured it into the mugs. The pre-mixed martini mix could wait until later. He walked over to Adam and held his hand out.
**
Adam knew he was being a jerk, but this field trip wasn’t something he could get excited about. In fact, he was feeling downright bitter. It was cold. It was his birthday. And Kris-well, Kris was acting weird.
He had shown up at Adam’s door six weeks ago, straight from the airport, a small duffel and guitar in hand, then hid out in the spare bedroom for 48 hours straight. He would yell out that he was okay, but didn’t eat or drink anything and wouldn’t open the door. Adam was so worried, he almost knocked the door in when suddenly it popped open.
“I-I think I need to get going,” Kris said, free hand raking through his soft brown hair. He had his guitar strapped around his body and bag in his hand. “Adam, um, thanks man. I needed this.” He reached out and awkwardly gave him a one-armed hug, then ran down the stairs and out the door like the hounds from hell were chasing after him.
Adam hadn’t heard from him since. A couple text messages were exchanged, letting Adam know he was okay, but nothing else. Adam had been getting worried, but then Kris showed up this morning and drove him out here. To the middle of nowhere.
Though Adam made it seem like he was just picking at his fingernails, he was fully aware of what Kris was doing. He smirked when he saw Kris struggling with the crooked tent. But the persistent bugger had put it up. He had a look of satisfaction and got starry eyed when he got the giant fire burning just feet from where Adam was sitting. He finally looked up when Kris’s shadow loomed over him. He was holding out a cup. Adam didn’t say anything, just lifted his wrists, still tied up.
“Oh, shit!” Kris put the steaming cup down next to Adam and scrambled to his backpack, searching for his pocketknife. He ran back to Adam and kneeled in front of him, working the knife between the plastic ties and skin. “I’m sorry, Adam. I’m so sorry…”
Adam flinched as the tip of the knife nicked his wrist. Kris yanked the ties and threw them into the fire, then tenderly massaged his hands and wrists. When he saw blood well up from the tiny cut, he lowered his lips to it. Adam lurched back and knocked Kris over onto his ass.
“Wha-What are you doing?” Adam whispered, eyes wide.
Kris stood up slowly and patted the dirt off his jeans. He looked around uneasily, “Um, I should get some food cooking. You’re probably starving.” He shuffled to a cooler and ignored Adam.
Adam’s thoughts were jumbled. He stood up and stretched out, rolling his shoulders and neck. Then he paced in front of the fire. He hadn’t seen Kris in almost a year except for the brief moment a few weeks back. Granted they had both been busy with work and traveling, but it was odd seeing him now, especially like this. Adam had nearly forgotten the warmth and comfort Kris’s body gave him. Then when he showed up at his door, the memories rushed back to the forefront. The illicit touches, the hugs that lasted a little too long. But Kris’s time with him had none of that. Instead, after two days, he was gone.
He stalked over to Kris, who was now hunched over a makeshift table of flat rocks and plastic. He grabbed Kris’s arm and heaved him up; he cupped his face, searching it for clues.
“What’s going on Kris? What’s this all about?” Adam asked quietly.
Kris struggled out of Adam’s grasp and went back to cutting the vegetables and putting them into the pot. He felt Adam standing over him, but continued with what he was doing.
“Go drink your hot chocolate Adam,” was all that he said.
**
They ate the stew in silence, lost in their own thoughts. After taking the empty bowl from Adam, Kris saw him try to hide a yawn. Quickly, he ushered Adam into the tent with a sleeping bag. After zipping down the tent, Kris sat next to the fire and stared.
He had wandered around the country, used gigs and recording the new album as his excuses to stay on the road. The guys were ready to kill him, but Kris wasn’t ready to face the world. The divorce was handled discreetly, only his immediate family and management knew the details at the time.
He had needed the time away to get his head together. It seemed that everyone but him knew the marriage was over. Everyone but him knew that he was in love with his ex-roommate, his best friend. Everyone but him was ready for him to take the next step.
After the last of the small shows in the Midwest, Kris talked about extending the tour for a few more weeks, head back to the East Coast. His band mutinied against him. Kris on the road meant they were on the road with him. It had been nearly a year non-stop on the road, and they were tired. They had families and friends and lives. Kris realized he couldn’t do this to them just because he wanted to escape and not face reality. After wrapping up the final show, he and the band went their separate way. Kris headed back to Los Angeles; had finally gotten the nerve to see Adam and tell him how he felt.
Instead of planning things out, he naturally just rushed to Adam’s house, then chickened out. Having Adam just welcome him into his home, surprised, but unquestioning, made Kris lose his nerve. Adam had opened the door and Kris had just fallen into his arms. What did he do as a thank you? He holed up in the guest room, unable to even look at or talk to him. That was when he hatched this kidnapping plan. Only, it wasn’t really working out the way he had thought it would.
He should have talked to Adam then. He should have come clean about the divorce, his feelings. But he couldn’t do it. He had to plan something better. He laughed bitterly at himself, yeah, this was better alright.
He shouldn’t have kissed his wrists. Stupid, stupid, stupid he berated himself. Now he was self-conscious and Adam was uncomfortable. Kris glanced over to the tent. No, he would go through with it; he had painstakingly planned this out. He could do it.
**
Adam woke with a start, body wrapped tight. He freaked and tried to kick the heavy weight off of him until he realized he was in a sleeping bag. And, he was sore. He looked around him, trying to figure out where the hell he was. He groaned as he remembered the morning and everything that happened.
He unzipped the tent and crawled out. The sun had set and the fire was low creating an unreal reddish, orange glow in the light dusk. It was darker than he thought it would be, but not so much that he couldn’t see in front of him. He looked for Kris and found him curled on a sleeping bag next to the fire. Pulling his own bag out of the tent, he placed it next to Kris’s and sat down.
Kris got up when he heard Adam sit next to him. He placed more wood and kindling into the fire to make it stronger. Adam didn’t say anything.
“You hungry?” Kris inquired.
“What time is it?” Adam asked back as he grabbed a long stick from the pile close to the fire and stirred up the flames.
“It’s a little after six,” came the reply.
“Huh, I guess I was more tired than I thought.”
Kris laughed nervously, “Well, it was early when we, uh, when you got out of bed.” He relaxed when Adam laughed back.
“So, this” Adam asked, hands waving around them, “was your idea of a birthday weekend for me?”
“Uh, yeah. I wanted to do something different for your birthday. You know how you always say you want to experience new things, and I thought…”
“That it is, Allen, that it is.”
“So are you hungry or not Lambert?” he asked. Without waiting for an answer, he ambled to another ice chest and opened it. He made a show of digging through it, “I’ve got some hot dogs, steak, some veggies…”
Kris stilled as he felt Adam come up behind him.
“Damn, you were serious about this trip, weren’t you?”
Kris huffed in mock seriousness, “We’re camping Adam, and I’ve done this a ton of times. I come prepared.”
Adam laughed and backed away, “Fine, fine. Um, let’s see…hot dogs I guess?”
Kris pulled out the hot dogs and buns and pushed them into Adam’s hands. He then went to the second cooler and dug through it, “You ever had S’mores?”
Adam rolled his eyes, “Of course I have.”
He grabbed the chocolate, a bag of marshmallows and a box of graham crackers, “Come on, let’s eat.”
Adam watched as Kris went about preparing their hot dog dinner. Staking the hot dogs on two long, thin branches, Kris handed them to Adam. “Here, start them over the fire while I get the other stuff ready.”
They sat in companionable silence as they cooked. The smell of food cooking and the night air was refreshing, and Adam grudgingly admitted to himself that he probably did need a day away from everything. He wouldn’t tell Kris that though.
Kris sat back down next to Adam, handing him a plate with grilled corn and a toasted bun, “Here...for your hot dog.”
He smiled and handed Kris the second stick with a roasted hot dog, “Um, here. Hope you like your hot dog well done.”
Laughing, Kris took it, “You suck as a campfire chef.”
Adam shrugged, “It’s still edible.” He looked over to a second thermos Kris had out. He pointed his chin to it, “What’s in there?”
Kris blushed, “Um, martinis.”
Adam grinned.
**
“Okay, so real S’mores,” Kris was saying gathering the packages of sweets. “Not the kind you make in the backyard on a gas grill or over the kitchen stove.” He shivered like it was a disgusting thought. “S’mores from the campfire, where the marshmallow is burnt just so…”
“In that case, then, no.”
Kris laughed, “I figured as much. So this is good. You finally get to experience the magic that is campfire S’mores. Real S’mores.”
Adam watched as Kris laid out the chocolate bars, box of graham crackers and giant bag of marshmallows. He reached over and opened a Hershey bar and bit into it.
“Hey!” Kris said, pulling the bar from Adam’s hand. “Be patient.”
“Aw come on,” Adam whined. “You have all this chocolate here. What do you want me to do?”
“Here,” he said and shoved the sticks with marshmallows into Adam’s hand. “Don’t burn them too badly, and I’ll get the chocolate warmed up a little. Forgot how cold it is up here, they’re like bricks. They’ll be ready in no time.”
As the marshmallows lit up and started to melt off the sticks, Kris snagged them with the graham crackers and chocolate chunks. He handed one to Adam and bit into the second one.
“Oh god,” Adam mumbled, mouth full. “This sooooooooo good.”
“Mmmmm,” Kris agreed.
Kris looked over at Adam, his jaw moving as he leisurely chewed. Small bits of melted marshmallow and chocolate stuck on the corner of his mouth. He turned to face Kris at the same time Kris lifted his hand to wipe it.
Kris’s fingers floated lightly over Adam’s lips, fingertips barely grazing the skin. His hand twitched when Adam grabbed it. They stared at each other. He looked away from Adam’s intense stare, and gazed at his lips, knowing the freckle he was obsessed with would be there. He wondered what Adam would do if he licked the chocolate bit off.
Adam stopped breathing, unsure if he should hold onto his hand or let it go and see what happened. He loosened his grip, closed his eyes and waited.
Kris slid his hand back over Adam’s face as soon as he let go. He didn’t touch him-just ghosted his fingers over Adam’s lips and jaw. He saw Adam’s eyes flutter shut. It’s now or never, just do it, he thought to himself.
Leaning in, Kris closed the distance between them and licked at the chocolate. As his tongue moved to the corner of Adam’s lips, he felt him shiver. He cupped the back of his head and moved in closer. Adam turned and their lips met fully, completely.
Adam leaned and pressed harder. He wrapped his arms around Kris and fell back onto the sleeping bag. Groans escaped their mouths as the body contact shook them both. He pushed up and pulled on Kris’s lower lip, getting it to open. When Kris gasped, Adam’s tongue delved in to sweep the taste of chocolate from the Kris’s tongue.
**
They broke for air with loud panting. Adam felt Kris try to move off him, arms caging his head, but Adam held him close, not allowing him to move.
“What are you doing Kris?” he wheezed. He needed air, but didn’t want the weight of Kris off him.
Kris shook his head, “I…I don’t know.”
Adam loosened his arms, and Kris pushed his way off him.
Kris scrambled back to his bag, “Sorry. I don’t know what I’m thinking or doing. I shouldn’t have…”
Adam touched his lips and smiled, “You can keep doing it.”
Kris laughed, “Not a good idea right now.”
“Why not?”
“I wanted to talk, not do…” he waved his hand, “that.”
“What’s wrong with doing that?” Adam asked. He turned to face Kris. Kris was staring at the fire, the light creating soft shadows on his face.
He reached over and put his hand on Kris’s knee, “Talk to me then,” he said softly. “What’s going on with you?”
Kris scrubbed his face with his hands. He stared at Adam’s hand on his knee. “It’s crazy, convoluted and, god, I don’t even know.”
Adam moved to sit next to him. He wrapped his arm around Kris and waited for him to melt into his shoulder like he had done a million times in the past. When he finally did, Adam let out a deep breath.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he whispered.
Kris sighed. He finally started to talk. After the first sentence, it just came pouring out. The divorce, his guilt, his keeping his band out on the road longer than necessary, his disappointment. He kept talking as he felt Adam’s hand rub his shoulder and back; his warm hand moved in small circles up and down his spine.
He let it all out; let Adam know about everything. Kris felt his body thaw and the frozen mass inside him start to melt away.
When he finished, he got the nerve to look up at Adam. “Adam?”
“Just taking in all in, Kris.” He gathered Kris up in a tight hug. “I wish you had told me all this. You shouldn’t have gone through all that by yourself.”
Kris hugged him back, hoping it would convey what he was too scared to say out loud.
Adam straightened up, still holding Kris. “I need to know something Kris.”
Kris looked at him. Adam’s blue eyes peering into him, searching. Kris closed his and gave a brief nod, “Yeah.” He felt Adam expel a long breath, then felt his forehead against his temple.
“I didn’t…it wasn’t…”
Kris felt Adam’s breath along his jaw and took it in. In that moment, it became his lifeline. He tried to shake his head, but couldn’t move it without losing contact with Adam. “No, it wasn’t your fault. I realized I didn’t love her the way I love you. Being away from you hurt more than being away from her.”
“Oh…oh Kris…I”
Kris leaned in again to lay his head against Adam’s shoulder. He felt Adam move his head onto Kris’s; their bodies shifting easily to fit against each other.
“No. It’s okay. I’m okay. I…I just needed you to know.”
He felt Adam shake. He held on tighter.
“I love you, Adam. I just thought you should know,” he said.
“I love you, Kris. I just thought you should know,” Adam replied.
Word Count: 4,900 (-ish)
Type: Fluff/Romance
Rated: PG-13
Summary: This is a longer version of my original Smores fic, extended out just a wee bit more. And damn, I wrote something under 5,000 words! Wooo!
Thank you: My precious bb anobakitay for being my beta (even though I “volunteered” her into it) and fixing my shit ramblings…er stuff.
**
It was good thing that Adam trusted Kris so much, otherwise, there would be hell to pay. This “kidnapping” thing wasn’t cool. Not cool at all. All Adam knew was that he had had totally different ideas on how to spend his birthday. Being woken up at the ass-crack of dawn, blindfolded, stuffed in a car and driven who the hell knows where was definitely not it.
So instead of sleeping in, having an amazing lunch with his family, and ending up at a fabulous club dancing the night away with his friends, Adam couldn’t see, talk or hear and was pretty much unable to move his hands or arms while stuck in the backseat of a car. He had no idea where they were going, who all was involved or what was going to happen. No, this was definitely not how he imagined spending his birthday.
The only good thing about this whole situation was that Kris was driving.
Maybe.
He hoped.
**
The idea came to Kris suddenly one night as he was falling asleep. His days were busy with writing and recording new material, but the evenings and nights were lonely as hell. He kept telling himself it was better being lonely than being trapped in a loveless marriage. The holidays were especially tough, but it was his decision, one he didn’t regret. However, as the nights dragged on, he wondered.
Kris wasn’t sure if he would have been able to pull this off without Adam’s friends’ help. They liked him okay, but this was asking something from them that he didn’t know if he had the right to ask; a huge favor, he didn’t know if he was in the category of being able to ask for, much less a big one like this. He knew he’d be indebted to them forever, and he was nervous asking. Eventually, they all came around. It scared him that it was easier than he thought it would be.
Whether it was to freak Adam out or to actually help, Kris had no idea. But, he didn’t care. Now if he could actually go through with what he had planned for the rest of the weekend part…
He called Brad first. If Brad was receptive, then the rest of the group should be easy. Brad had listened quietly, almost too quietly, as Kris told him his idea. Then, a giant cackle burst through the phone and Brad nearly hung up on him from laughing so hard. “Oh sweetie, this is the like best idea ever. I’ll be there with bells and whistles on!”
He decided to visit Danielle in person. She was Adam’s best friend and would have no problem squashing the plan if it was terrible. Kris would also know how Adam’s friends felt about having him back in Adam’s life if she just threw him out on his ass. When he arrived, Kris lucked out because Tommy and Monte were at her place, so he didn’t have to make individual visits or phone calls. As Kris finished, Danielle stared, jaw wide open, then fell to the floor laughing. Tommy leaned back against the couch and nodded. Monte stroked his shin and smirked.
“He’s going to kill you, you know,” Danielle stuttered, still laughing.
Kris couldn’t do anything but shrug, “Just thought it might be fun.”
“Oh, believe me, it will be…” Danielle said trying to breathe.
“For us!” Monte cackled.
Kris pretty much asked them all to lie to Adam. The plan was for them to pretend that they had no plans made for Adam’s birthday. They were to ignore the giant hints he was throwing around, the closer it got to the actual day. But, it wasn’t like it was a “big” birthday per se, just Adam’s 29th. The following year they would be able to do whatever spectacular thing they normally would do for Adam, but this year, Kris wanted to do something more personal. And have Adam alone.
They all met at 6:30AM in Adam’s driveway. Kris had everything he needed packed in the car-except Adam. This is where Adam’s friends were needed. He had their assurance that they would do everything Kris outlined, but he was still nervous.
He couldn’t believe Brad and Tommy actually showed up.
It was so early in the morning, he wouldn’t have blamed them all for bailing, but here they were with Starbucks cups in their hands. Puffs of steam streamed out from everyone’s breath. Despite what people in other states thought about Los Angeles, January was still winter, which meant it was cold. Not East Coast cold, but cold nonetheless.
They quickly made their way up to the front door. Danielle used her key to open it and punched in the security code. Quietly, they headed upstairs to Adam’s bedroom. Kris nervously picked at his jacket zipper until Danielle glared at him. Kris slinked to the back of the group and waited.
The master bedroom door was partially open. Kris could see Adam sprawled on his stomach, head turned away. His zebra print blanket scrunched in the corner, clean white sheets wrapped around his long torso. Kris exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath. He could do this.
Kris watched nervously as Danielle gently sat on the edge of the bed and combed through Adam’s hair with her fingers. Adam’s soft moan hit Kris from across the room. He felt the claws of jealousy pull at him. He wanted to be the one on the bed. But the thought of dragging Danielle away from Adam’s side in front of everyone made him stop. It didn’t stop him from thinking that he should be the one rubbing Adam’s hair and back; that he should be the one in the bed with him. Tommy looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Kris turned away, realizing he must have made a sound.
Adam rolled to his side, turned his head and smiled sleepily, “Hey baby. What are you doing? Everything okay? What time is it?”
Danielle murmured something Kris couldn’t hear. Adam turned onto his back, stretched out like a cat and rubbed his eyes. The next few minutes went by so quickly, Kris wasn’t exactly sure what had happened. All he knew was that the four of them had Adam dressed, bound and gagged, headphones over his ears and stuffed into the backseat of Kris’s car.
**
Today was just not his day. Adam glared at the scene around him. Obviously the Fates hated him. How else to explain that his friends had decided to have him “kidnapped”? And why would Kris bring him up to the mountains? On his birthday weekend no less?
Some friends, he thought. Like seriously? Him? Adam Lambert, in the mountains? Yeah, this was going to get ugly quick. Not that Adam had anything against camping. Or the mountains. Or nature in general. He enjoyed it all enough, but as a casual observer, not a participant. It just wasn’t his thing.
Anyone who knew him, hell even those who didn’t would know think this wasn’t a good idea. His idea of camping was maybe a mountain resort. With in-door plumbing and sheets with a minimum thread count of 400 and possibly cute, rugged mountain men to look at. He looked over to Kris and felt the corner of his lips curl into a small smile, not rugged, but definitely cute.
He was startled out of staring at Kris by the sound of birds taking off from the trees behind. He scowled again. His so-called friends thought this would be hysterical. He couldn’t believe Kris got them to go along with this. Ha. Ha. Fuckers.
They descended on him like vultures over a carcass in the desert. He couldn’t move fast enough to get away from them. Next thing he knew, he was lifted off the bed and dragged into the bathroom. Monte stood guard at the closed door to make sure he didn’t try to escape or try anything funny. He just pointed his chin towards the sink and toilet. He turned his back as Adam quickly brushed his teeth and emptied his bladder. He went through the motions, his voice apparently lost in the shock of everything going on around him.
Monte dragged him out of the bathroom, put a blindfold and gag on him and held onto his arms. Adam had stood there in his pajama bottoms and a thin t-shirt while he heard the activity around him. The closet door being opened, drawers being shut, zippers being zipped. He thought he had heard Tommy’s and Kris’s name being thrown around as the people in his room ran around putting things together. So, the four of them had conspired to do this. And since when was Kris back in town and participating in this? Adam would kill whoever thought up this cockamamie idea.
Before they shuffled him downstairs, Danielle had the nerve to giggle. “I’m sorry, baby, but it was just too good to pass up. We’ll make it up to you when you’re back, I swear. But have fun, okay?”
They led him carefully down the stairs. At the doorway, Monte slung a heavy arm around his shoulders. “Just go with it,” he whispered. But Adam heard the laughter in his voice. “It won’t be all that bad.”
Then headphones covered his ears. The only saving grace was that it was at least playing music he liked.
Adam sighed as he sat on the rock and watched Kris move around him. He rubbed his wrists, trying to wrangle the zip ties into a more comfortable position. That’s right. While kidnapping him, not only did they blindfolded him, but wrapped his wrists in zip ties so he couldn’t move. At least be classy enough for fuzzy handcuffs. He was going to kill everyone if and when he got back to civilization.
He had been let out of the car carefully, but only one person was helping him out. Calloused, warm hands. Adam was familiar with those hands. It was Kris. It had to be Kris and only Kris. And as Adam suspected when the headphones and blindfold were taken off, it was Kris’s car. Only the two of them here. Wherever here was.
Adam watched out of the corner of his eyes as Kris unloaded bags and various camping equipment. Kris had set him down on this rock as soon as they parked. Adam experienced mild shock as light and sound speared into him. He hadn’t moved as Kris removed the gag, blindfold and headphones. Kris hesitated as if expecting an earful from Adam. When Adam didn’t say anything, he just led him over to the flat rock and walked away.
Kris was taking out a lot of stuff from the trunk. Adam shivered. He didn’t even want to think about it.
**
Kris tried to maintain his cool on the drive up to Big Bear. He knew it wasn’t Adam’s thing, but it was the only place he could think of that would be remote and quiet enough to go through what he had to do. The gag and headphones might have been too much, but Kris needed to concentrate and not have Adam talk him out of this. Or yell at him.
Now he went around the campground setting everything up. It would have been easier with another set of hands, but he didn’t know how helpful Adam would be. And, he wanted to be alone with him, so having more people was not a good idea.
Kris peeked over at Adam as he pitched the tent. He hadn’t moved from the spot since Kris placed him there 20 minutes ago. He took off the gag, blindfold and headphones as soon as they got out of the car, and he stiffened waiting for the murderous glare or even a loud missive, but all Adam did was look around. In fact, he hadn’t said a word. He hadn’t even looked at Kris.
Gnawing his lip, Kris glanced at Adam again. He was picking at his nail polish, head down, dark hair sticking up and away from his face. They had barely given him time to freshen up in the bathroom before he was shoved into the car. Kris had crammed a couple shirts, hoodies, jeans and socks into a duffel bag while Monte, Danielle and Tommy tied Adam up.
“Um, do you need anything? Are you okay?” Kris called out tentatively.
Kris sighed as Adam continued to ignore him. He went back and forth from the car to unload the supplies. He finally settled the camp enough to get the fire going. He stoked the fire higher and stronger and stared at Adam through the flames. His face was scrubbed clean with only the remnants of lightly smudged eyeliner. He was wearing a plaid flannel shirt over the t-shirt he slept in and his pajama bottoms. The scuffed Doc Martens were untied, the sides splayed out to reveal mismatched socks.
Smiling, Kris went to the cooler and grabbed the thermos. He debated which one to pour first until he saw Adam shiver slightly. He grabbed the one with hot chocolate and poured it into the mugs. The pre-mixed martini mix could wait until later. He walked over to Adam and held his hand out.
**
Adam knew he was being a jerk, but this field trip wasn’t something he could get excited about. In fact, he was feeling downright bitter. It was cold. It was his birthday. And Kris-well, Kris was acting weird.
He had shown up at Adam’s door six weeks ago, straight from the airport, a small duffel and guitar in hand, then hid out in the spare bedroom for 48 hours straight. He would yell out that he was okay, but didn’t eat or drink anything and wouldn’t open the door. Adam was so worried, he almost knocked the door in when suddenly it popped open.
“I-I think I need to get going,” Kris said, free hand raking through his soft brown hair. He had his guitar strapped around his body and bag in his hand. “Adam, um, thanks man. I needed this.” He reached out and awkwardly gave him a one-armed hug, then ran down the stairs and out the door like the hounds from hell were chasing after him.
Adam hadn’t heard from him since. A couple text messages were exchanged, letting Adam know he was okay, but nothing else. Adam had been getting worried, but then Kris showed up this morning and drove him out here. To the middle of nowhere.
Though Adam made it seem like he was just picking at his fingernails, he was fully aware of what Kris was doing. He smirked when he saw Kris struggling with the crooked tent. But the persistent bugger had put it up. He had a look of satisfaction and got starry eyed when he got the giant fire burning just feet from where Adam was sitting. He finally looked up when Kris’s shadow loomed over him. He was holding out a cup. Adam didn’t say anything, just lifted his wrists, still tied up.
“Oh, shit!” Kris put the steaming cup down next to Adam and scrambled to his backpack, searching for his pocketknife. He ran back to Adam and kneeled in front of him, working the knife between the plastic ties and skin. “I’m sorry, Adam. I’m so sorry…”
Adam flinched as the tip of the knife nicked his wrist. Kris yanked the ties and threw them into the fire, then tenderly massaged his hands and wrists. When he saw blood well up from the tiny cut, he lowered his lips to it. Adam lurched back and knocked Kris over onto his ass.
“Wha-What are you doing?” Adam whispered, eyes wide.
Kris stood up slowly and patted the dirt off his jeans. He looked around uneasily, “Um, I should get some food cooking. You’re probably starving.” He shuffled to a cooler and ignored Adam.
Adam’s thoughts were jumbled. He stood up and stretched out, rolling his shoulders and neck. Then he paced in front of the fire. He hadn’t seen Kris in almost a year except for the brief moment a few weeks back. Granted they had both been busy with work and traveling, but it was odd seeing him now, especially like this. Adam had nearly forgotten the warmth and comfort Kris’s body gave him. Then when he showed up at his door, the memories rushed back to the forefront. The illicit touches, the hugs that lasted a little too long. But Kris’s time with him had none of that. Instead, after two days, he was gone.
He stalked over to Kris, who was now hunched over a makeshift table of flat rocks and plastic. He grabbed Kris’s arm and heaved him up; he cupped his face, searching it for clues.
“What’s going on Kris? What’s this all about?” Adam asked quietly.
Kris struggled out of Adam’s grasp and went back to cutting the vegetables and putting them into the pot. He felt Adam standing over him, but continued with what he was doing.
“Go drink your hot chocolate Adam,” was all that he said.
**
They ate the stew in silence, lost in their own thoughts. After taking the empty bowl from Adam, Kris saw him try to hide a yawn. Quickly, he ushered Adam into the tent with a sleeping bag. After zipping down the tent, Kris sat next to the fire and stared.
He had wandered around the country, used gigs and recording the new album as his excuses to stay on the road. The guys were ready to kill him, but Kris wasn’t ready to face the world. The divorce was handled discreetly, only his immediate family and management knew the details at the time.
He had needed the time away to get his head together. It seemed that everyone but him knew the marriage was over. Everyone but him knew that he was in love with his ex-roommate, his best friend. Everyone but him was ready for him to take the next step.
After the last of the small shows in the Midwest, Kris talked about extending the tour for a few more weeks, head back to the East Coast. His band mutinied against him. Kris on the road meant they were on the road with him. It had been nearly a year non-stop on the road, and they were tired. They had families and friends and lives. Kris realized he couldn’t do this to them just because he wanted to escape and not face reality. After wrapping up the final show, he and the band went their separate way. Kris headed back to Los Angeles; had finally gotten the nerve to see Adam and tell him how he felt.
Instead of planning things out, he naturally just rushed to Adam’s house, then chickened out. Having Adam just welcome him into his home, surprised, but unquestioning, made Kris lose his nerve. Adam had opened the door and Kris had just fallen into his arms. What did he do as a thank you? He holed up in the guest room, unable to even look at or talk to him. That was when he hatched this kidnapping plan. Only, it wasn’t really working out the way he had thought it would.
He should have talked to Adam then. He should have come clean about the divorce, his feelings. But he couldn’t do it. He had to plan something better. He laughed bitterly at himself, yeah, this was better alright.
He shouldn’t have kissed his wrists. Stupid, stupid, stupid he berated himself. Now he was self-conscious and Adam was uncomfortable. Kris glanced over to the tent. No, he would go through with it; he had painstakingly planned this out. He could do it.
**
Adam woke with a start, body wrapped tight. He freaked and tried to kick the heavy weight off of him until he realized he was in a sleeping bag. And, he was sore. He looked around him, trying to figure out where the hell he was. He groaned as he remembered the morning and everything that happened.
He unzipped the tent and crawled out. The sun had set and the fire was low creating an unreal reddish, orange glow in the light dusk. It was darker than he thought it would be, but not so much that he couldn’t see in front of him. He looked for Kris and found him curled on a sleeping bag next to the fire. Pulling his own bag out of the tent, he placed it next to Kris’s and sat down.
Kris got up when he heard Adam sit next to him. He placed more wood and kindling into the fire to make it stronger. Adam didn’t say anything.
“You hungry?” Kris inquired.
“What time is it?” Adam asked back as he grabbed a long stick from the pile close to the fire and stirred up the flames.
“It’s a little after six,” came the reply.
“Huh, I guess I was more tired than I thought.”
Kris laughed nervously, “Well, it was early when we, uh, when you got out of bed.” He relaxed when Adam laughed back.
“So, this” Adam asked, hands waving around them, “was your idea of a birthday weekend for me?”
“Uh, yeah. I wanted to do something different for your birthday. You know how you always say you want to experience new things, and I thought…”
“That it is, Allen, that it is.”
“So are you hungry or not Lambert?” he asked. Without waiting for an answer, he ambled to another ice chest and opened it. He made a show of digging through it, “I’ve got some hot dogs, steak, some veggies…”
Kris stilled as he felt Adam come up behind him.
“Damn, you were serious about this trip, weren’t you?”
Kris huffed in mock seriousness, “We’re camping Adam, and I’ve done this a ton of times. I come prepared.”
Adam laughed and backed away, “Fine, fine. Um, let’s see…hot dogs I guess?”
Kris pulled out the hot dogs and buns and pushed them into Adam’s hands. He then went to the second cooler and dug through it, “You ever had S’mores?”
Adam rolled his eyes, “Of course I have.”
He grabbed the chocolate, a bag of marshmallows and a box of graham crackers, “Come on, let’s eat.”
Adam watched as Kris went about preparing their hot dog dinner. Staking the hot dogs on two long, thin branches, Kris handed them to Adam. “Here, start them over the fire while I get the other stuff ready.”
They sat in companionable silence as they cooked. The smell of food cooking and the night air was refreshing, and Adam grudgingly admitted to himself that he probably did need a day away from everything. He wouldn’t tell Kris that though.
Kris sat back down next to Adam, handing him a plate with grilled corn and a toasted bun, “Here...for your hot dog.”
He smiled and handed Kris the second stick with a roasted hot dog, “Um, here. Hope you like your hot dog well done.”
Laughing, Kris took it, “You suck as a campfire chef.”
Adam shrugged, “It’s still edible.” He looked over to a second thermos Kris had out. He pointed his chin to it, “What’s in there?”
Kris blushed, “Um, martinis.”
Adam grinned.
**
“Okay, so real S’mores,” Kris was saying gathering the packages of sweets. “Not the kind you make in the backyard on a gas grill or over the kitchen stove.” He shivered like it was a disgusting thought. “S’mores from the campfire, where the marshmallow is burnt just so…”
“In that case, then, no.”
Kris laughed, “I figured as much. So this is good. You finally get to experience the magic that is campfire S’mores. Real S’mores.”
Adam watched as Kris laid out the chocolate bars, box of graham crackers and giant bag of marshmallows. He reached over and opened a Hershey bar and bit into it.
“Hey!” Kris said, pulling the bar from Adam’s hand. “Be patient.”
“Aw come on,” Adam whined. “You have all this chocolate here. What do you want me to do?”
“Here,” he said and shoved the sticks with marshmallows into Adam’s hand. “Don’t burn them too badly, and I’ll get the chocolate warmed up a little. Forgot how cold it is up here, they’re like bricks. They’ll be ready in no time.”
As the marshmallows lit up and started to melt off the sticks, Kris snagged them with the graham crackers and chocolate chunks. He handed one to Adam and bit into the second one.
“Oh god,” Adam mumbled, mouth full. “This sooooooooo good.”
“Mmmmm,” Kris agreed.
Kris looked over at Adam, his jaw moving as he leisurely chewed. Small bits of melted marshmallow and chocolate stuck on the corner of his mouth. He turned to face Kris at the same time Kris lifted his hand to wipe it.
Kris’s fingers floated lightly over Adam’s lips, fingertips barely grazing the skin. His hand twitched when Adam grabbed it. They stared at each other. He looked away from Adam’s intense stare, and gazed at his lips, knowing the freckle he was obsessed with would be there. He wondered what Adam would do if he licked the chocolate bit off.
Adam stopped breathing, unsure if he should hold onto his hand or let it go and see what happened. He loosened his grip, closed his eyes and waited.
Kris slid his hand back over Adam’s face as soon as he let go. He didn’t touch him-just ghosted his fingers over Adam’s lips and jaw. He saw Adam’s eyes flutter shut. It’s now or never, just do it, he thought to himself.
Leaning in, Kris closed the distance between them and licked at the chocolate. As his tongue moved to the corner of Adam’s lips, he felt him shiver. He cupped the back of his head and moved in closer. Adam turned and their lips met fully, completely.
Adam leaned and pressed harder. He wrapped his arms around Kris and fell back onto the sleeping bag. Groans escaped their mouths as the body contact shook them both. He pushed up and pulled on Kris’s lower lip, getting it to open. When Kris gasped, Adam’s tongue delved in to sweep the taste of chocolate from the Kris’s tongue.
**
They broke for air with loud panting. Adam felt Kris try to move off him, arms caging his head, but Adam held him close, not allowing him to move.
“What are you doing Kris?” he wheezed. He needed air, but didn’t want the weight of Kris off him.
Kris shook his head, “I…I don’t know.”
Adam loosened his arms, and Kris pushed his way off him.
Kris scrambled back to his bag, “Sorry. I don’t know what I’m thinking or doing. I shouldn’t have…”
Adam touched his lips and smiled, “You can keep doing it.”
Kris laughed, “Not a good idea right now.”
“Why not?”
“I wanted to talk, not do…” he waved his hand, “that.”
“What’s wrong with doing that?” Adam asked. He turned to face Kris. Kris was staring at the fire, the light creating soft shadows on his face.
He reached over and put his hand on Kris’s knee, “Talk to me then,” he said softly. “What’s going on with you?”
Kris scrubbed his face with his hands. He stared at Adam’s hand on his knee. “It’s crazy, convoluted and, god, I don’t even know.”
Adam moved to sit next to him. He wrapped his arm around Kris and waited for him to melt into his shoulder like he had done a million times in the past. When he finally did, Adam let out a deep breath.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he whispered.
Kris sighed. He finally started to talk. After the first sentence, it just came pouring out. The divorce, his guilt, his keeping his band out on the road longer than necessary, his disappointment. He kept talking as he felt Adam’s hand rub his shoulder and back; his warm hand moved in small circles up and down his spine.
He let it all out; let Adam know about everything. Kris felt his body thaw and the frozen mass inside him start to melt away.
When he finished, he got the nerve to look up at Adam. “Adam?”
“Just taking in all in, Kris.” He gathered Kris up in a tight hug. “I wish you had told me all this. You shouldn’t have gone through all that by yourself.”
Kris hugged him back, hoping it would convey what he was too scared to say out loud.
Adam straightened up, still holding Kris. “I need to know something Kris.”
Kris looked at him. Adam’s blue eyes peering into him, searching. Kris closed his and gave a brief nod, “Yeah.” He felt Adam expel a long breath, then felt his forehead against his temple.
“I didn’t…it wasn’t…”
Kris felt Adam’s breath along his jaw and took it in. In that moment, it became his lifeline. He tried to shake his head, but couldn’t move it without losing contact with Adam. “No, it wasn’t your fault. I realized I didn’t love her the way I love you. Being away from you hurt more than being away from her.”
“Oh…oh Kris…I”
Kris leaned in again to lay his head against Adam’s shoulder. He felt Adam move his head onto Kris’s; their bodies shifting easily to fit against each other.
“No. It’s okay. I’m okay. I…I just needed you to know.”
He felt Adam shake. He held on tighter.
“I love you, Adam. I just thought you should know,” he said.
“I love you, Kris. I just thought you should know,” Adam replied.