When Zombies Attack: Act Three
Act Three: Don't Look Back
(In which the compound turns into something of a soap opera; some secrets are revealed (and others aren't); and the zombies might actually put in an appearance.)
13 June 2011
Yawning and stretching, Goggles meandered towards the common room. She could really do with some breakfast, but someone had to check for messages first, and anyway, it was unlikely there'd be anything but cereal to eat, since she was the first one up this morning.
Or not, she amended, spotting Spoony securing the doors on the truck Linkara and MarzGurl had driven. "What are you doing?" She frowned.
"Cleaning up the bodies," he replied curtly. "Figured it'd be easiest to just pile 'em in there, drive it out into the desert, and set it on fire."
"That makes sense," she nodded. "But you shouldn't have done all this by yourself. We would’ve helped, or it could've waited until this morning." Except none of them had even thought about the cleanup the evening before, not even her, she realised guiltily. They all had a tendency to assume Spoony would organise whatever needed to be done.
Spoony shrugged. "I needed to do this," he said quietly, not quite meeting her eyes. She decided not to push it.
"Okay, if you say so. You should probably go and get some sleep now, though."
"Nah, I'm fine," he said, and immediately belied his words by yawning. "There's still a lot of stuff to be done."
'Stuff', she realised, meaning disposing of the bodies, and figuring out what to do about Joe. "I'll take care of it," she said sternly, eyeing Spoony's reaction. She wondered if he'd object to her taking charge of this. Really, though, it was time someone else started doing some of this stuff, and this was as good a time as any to start. "Go get some sleep, you're no use to anyone like this."
He seemed about to protest again, but another yawn cut off his objection. "Maybe you're right," he admitted. "I'll see you in a few hours, then."
Spoony re-emerged in the middle of the afternoon, looking, in Goggles's considered opinion, at least closer to human than he had that morning.
"Right," he announced. "What'd I miss?"
"A lot of semi-pointless dramatics about the betting pool," she replied. "I got someone to drive the truck out and burn it, so that's out of the way. And I mostly organised Joe's funeral. Well, cremation, whatever we're calling it."
Funerals -- actual funerals -- had fallen out of favour in the last year and a bit. Cremation, even improvised as it usually was, ruled out the risk of infection. It was unlikely in this situation, but still.
""I think we should do this tonight," she continued.
"You're right," Spoony said. "If nothing else, in this heat ... Anyway, thanks."
"Don't worry about it," she smiled.
The funeral took place after dinner, and if Goggles was honest, there hadn't been all that much to organise. What it came down to, really, was a semi-improvised wake around a campfire in the central area of the compound. They sat, and drank, and talked. Talked about Joe, mostly, though sometimes the stories wandered.
As the sun began to go down, she pulled Marz closer to her for warmth. "You okay?" She asked softly.
"Bit chilly," Marz replied, and leaned into her. "I'll be fine," she smiled. Goggles smiled back, and turned her attention back to the others. Spoony had just finished a story, and she saw Linkara put a hand on his friend's back. She squashed her rising suspicions. This was neither the time nor place, and anyway, there was no way they could keep another betting pool a secret from Spoony.
Ma-Ti and the Chick were sharing a bottle of something that looked like vodka. And speaking of rising suspicions, that explained why the Chick hadn't slept in their room the previous night. She wondered if it would last.
Marz nudged her side, and subtly nodded at the other side of the fire. Goggles suppressed a wholly inappropriate snicker. The Critic, clearly thinking no one was looking or paying attention, had carefully put his jacket around the Nerd's shoulders, apparently against the cold. And yet they weren't touching; pointedly so, in fact.
"Still doing the Dance of Awkward Boys In Denial, are they?" She whispered to Marz, who muffled a giggle in her shoulder. "It'd be cute if it weren't so ridiculous."
The sun continued to disappear behind the horizon, and eventually, they all fell silent. Spoony caught her eyes, and she nodded.
"I think it's time, guys," she said softly.
The rest was done in silence: the procession out of the compound, the lighting of the pyre, its flames bright against the now almost black sky, sending up the smell of burning flesh which they'd all become far too inured to. Then, as the flames died down, they started to leave in ones and twos, until only Goggles and Marz were left.
"Come on, babe," Marz said, taking her by the hand. Goggles squeezed Marz's fingers lightly, and allowed herself to be led back to the barracks.
The Critic cast a sideways glance at the Nerd to assure himself that the other man wasn't about to pass out. Goggles had done a good job stitching up his arm, and thankfully, the bullet had gone straight through. It had only left a flesh wound, and they'd managed to improvise a decent enough sling. Still, it'd been a long day, and the other man was on a noticeable amount of painkillers. It would be just like the Nerd to pass out and leave the Critic to drag his unconscious ass to their room, or to fall down and hit his head or something. Not that the Critic was fussing, of course.
It wasn't like he'd asked the guy to take a bullet for him, after all, and anyway, he hadn't exactly escaped without a scratch, either. Even apart from the still healing bruises on his ribs and back, his tie had been soaked in blood. At least the thing was red, so the bloodstains were mostly invisible once he'd rinsed it out. Still, that was no excuse for having had to get it bloody in the first place.
"What the hell were you doing yesterday, anyway?" He asked the Nerd.
"Saving your life, maybe?" The Nerd replied, and the fucker had the temerity to roll his eyes at the Critic.
"Oh, fuck you, asswipe. I can take care of myself, you know. And I'm sick and tired of you being in my face all the time, acting like I can't." They'd reached their barracks by now, and the Critic emphasised his point by slamming the door shut.
"Oh, sure, you can take care of yourself. That's why you went and got yourself kidnapped and almost killed, was it?" Okay, that was a low blow even for the Nerd.
"Fuck you," the Critic snarled. He pulled back his fist, ready for a punch, but held back at the last moment. Punching an injured man was below him, really, and anyway, Goggles would kill him -- kill them both, probably. He settled instead for a vicious shove at the Nerd's uninjured shoulder.
"We're shoving now?" The Nerd looked disgusted. "What are you, ten?"
"I was going easy on your arm, shithead," the Critic retorted.
"I still have one good arm, asshole," the Nerd spat, and proceeded to prove it by pushing the Critic back against the door, hard. The ensuing struggle was vicious, but brief, and at the end of it, the Critic found himself pinned against the door, the Nerd's good arm against his throat. "See?" The Nerd smirked triumphantly.
The Critic scowled, and tried to think of a way to regain the upper hand, preferably in a way that wouldn't leave any marks -- again, Goggles would kill them both. Taking a swipe at the Nerd's legs proved ineffective, so, on a sudden impulse, he grabbed the other man's bloody shirt, and yanked him forward into a bruising kiss.
He wasn't exactly sure what reaction he was going for -- disgust, confusion, all of the above -- but he was, he could've sworn, expecting the Nerd to pull back, thrown off balance, which would've given the Critic an opening to make his move. Instead, after a moment in which everything seemed to freeze, he felt the lips under his part, and, reflexively, he followed suit.
They were kissing. Huh. Well, that was new.
New, but necessarily bad. It had been a very long tie since he'd been kissed, after all, and as it turned out, the Nerd wasn't a bad kisser at all. When he pulled back for air, the other man laughed sharply, "Took you long enough."
"What?" The Critic blinked in confusion. He'd obviously missed something, and his brain was no help in trying to figure it out, still stuck as it was on the "Yay, kissing!" part. Fuck, this was going to turn out to be some sort of FoeYay thing, wasn't it?
"Oh, never mind," the Nerd sighed, rolling his eyes at him, and then they were kissing again, and the Critic gave a mental shrug and decided to just go with it. The zombie apocalypse was no time to turn down sex, after all, and he'd slept with more repulsive people. So when a hand slipped under his shirt, he just wriggled happily, and expressed his approval by licking the other man’s neck, until --
"Ow," he hissed as the Nerd skimmed a particularly painful bruise.
"Sorry," the other man muttered. The Critic pulled back a little and surveyed their situation. He could tell the Nerd's arm was bothering him, squished between them as it was, and his own bruises were going to start really being a problem very soon. Dammit.
"Our timing kinda really sucks," he informed the Nerd, and received a wry smile in response. Huh, the man actually looked kinda nice when he smiled. "Right, hang on," he said, and started undoing the buttons on the Nerd's shirt, then carefully eased it off, taking care not to aggravate the wounded arm. He flung the shirt in a corner, glad to have the blood out of sight, and returned to licking the Nerd's neck, grinning smugly to himself when that evoked an approving response.
A light push at the other man's hips got him an annoyed almost-whine. "What?"
"Bed," the Critic said. "Before one of us collapses."
"Oh. Right," and the Nerd's eye widened satisfyingly when, as soon as he sat down, the Critic knelt in front of him, hands going to the other man's waistband.
It was over embarrassingly quickly, and the Critic realised with some dismay that apart from his tie, the Nerd's shirt, and their undone pants, they were both still almost fully clothed.
"We're officially pathetic," the Nerd announced, sounding vaguely embarrassed, and was that a blush? The Critic decided it was, and counted it as a victory. It was also kinda cute.
"We really are," he agreed pleasantly. "Better luck next time?" He wondered if he was pushing his luck, assuming there was going to be a next time. Did FoeYay usually last? Or maybe this was just some delayed post-battle, hurray-we're-still-alive thing.
But the Nerd grinned at him -- and he really did look nice when he was smiling -- and said, "Luck, shmuck. Skill is what it's about."
"Oh, really?" The Critic raise an eyebrow. "And you think you have the skills, do you?"
The Nerd's grin widened. "I'll have you begging in no time," he claimed, and caught the Critic's mouth in another kiss before he could protest.
14 June 2011
When she walked into the common room, Marz was greeted by Spoony, Goggles, and a bleary-eyed Paw.
"Dude, seriously, you can't keep sleeping in here. These couches are not that comfortable," Spoony was saying.
"I know, I know," Paw replied. "I'm just trying to give the lovebirds some space, you know? And the only other bed right now is ..." His voice trailed off.
"Joe's, I know," Spoony finished for him, voice quiet and tense.
"Why didn't you go to the Critic and the Nerd?" Marz asked, trying to direct attention away from Spoony so he could compose himself. "I think they have a spare cot, that would've at least been more comfortable than a couch."
"I did," he replied, pulling a face and looking more than a little uncomfortable. "How should I put this? I think you won the betting pool."
"A betting pool?" A voice came suddenly from the doorway behind her. The Critic. Fuck. "You fuckers had a betting pool?" He looked torn between anger and extreme embarrassment.
"For the record," Goggles said. "I didn't place any bets. I just ran the thing." The Critic glared at her.
"That's even worse," he fumed. "How long has this been going on?"
"Um," Goggles said. Marz tried her best to become invisible, and she could see Paw and Ma-Ti doing the same.
"You know what, don't even answer that. I really don't want to know." The Critic threw his hands up in despair, and Marz remembered the Chick's advise to run away as hard as possible. It was sounding like good advice right now.
"I have a suggestion," the Nerd interjected, sounding suspiciously, deceptively calm. "I think, given the circumstances, we really should be entitled to at least half of the winnings, all things considered." He pointedly looked at Marz, and she sighed.
"Fine," she reluctantly agreed. Even half would still leave her with enough I.O.U.s to never have to do the dishes again, she reflected. And she still had the bragging rights for having won, especially on a last minute bet like that.
"That doesn't mean any of you are off the hook for this," the Critic glared at them, then sighed. "I can't deal with this at this time of the morning. I need caffeine," and he stomped off to the canteen, followed by the Nerd.
"Well," Goggles said. That could've gone worse." Then, looking at Paw, who looked oddly sulky and despondent, "What's with you?"
He sighed. "Everyone is getting laid except me."
"Hey, I'm not getting any, either," Spoony commiserated.
Paw stretched and got up off the couch. "If that's an offer," he said, walking to the door. "Thanks, but I'm not that desperate yet."
"... Hey!" Spoony called after him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
18 June 2011
"Tell me you have good news," Spoony sighed. Insano was certainly looking more hopeful, although that could just be because he seemed to be getting more sleep, lately He suspected Linkara had something to do with that, which kinda weirded him out. But then, a lot about Insano weirded him out. Stupid unstable time loops.
"I have good news," the scientist said. "Well, more or less."
"I knew it sounded too good to be true," Spoony said. "All right, hit me."
"Don't tempt me," Insano muttered. "I think I've found a vaccine," he continued. "Well, it's not a vaccine as such, but it would work like one, anyway." Well, that did at least sound like good news.
"So we'd have something that could immunise people against the nanites?" Linkara asked. "That's good, right? I mean, it's not a weapon, but it'll help stop the spread of the nanites."
"Exactly," Insano nodded. "And once I have something that works, I may be able to tweak it, to--"
"To weaponise it," Spoony finished. "Sounds good to me. So what's the catch?"
"I need to run one more test," The other man replied. "I've tested it as much as I can in the lab here, but it needs to be tested on a person. So I'll need one of you two to be here to monitor me in case it doesn't work, or something goes wrong. Shouldn’t take more than a day."
"Whoa, hang on! You're testing this on yourself?" Linkara interrupted, looking disturbed.
"Linkara," Spoony started, but the other man didn't give him a chance to continued.
"Don't even," he said. "'He might be the only one who can find a cure.' Your words. How does it make sense to risk him if this vaccine isn’t quite finished? If it just needs some tweaking, wouldn't it make more sense to not risk the guy who can do the tweaking?"
Spoony cast a glance at his semi-counterpart. Linkara was making sense, he had to admit. He shrugged. "I'll go for it, then," but Linkara just shot him a withering look.
"Really. And how were you planning to explain to everyone why you're disappearing for a whole day? Not to mention, how am I supposed to explain what happened if t goes wrong?"
There wasn't really any way to argue with that, Spoony admitted. But that didn't really leave them any other options, except-- Oh no. Oh hell no.
"I'll do it," Linkara sighed, confirming Spoony's fear.
"No," Spoony said. "I'm not letting you do this."
Linkara gave him a flat look. "Who's talking about 'letting'? Look, it makes sense. We can't exactly bring in someone else, and neither of you can be missed. But no one's going to notice if I'm not around for a day; just tell them I'm sleeping off the fever or something."
"And if it goes wrong?" Spoony asked.
"Then ... Well, like you said, who’s going to know it wasn't the infection, or the fever?" That was definitely a pointed look, and Spoony suppressed a wince. That was going to get used against him again, he suspected, and sighed.
"Fine," he gave in. "If you're determined to risk your life, who am I to stand in the way? But if you die, I'll kill you." He turned to the scientist, who'd been suspiciously quiet throughout the whole argument. "How is this gonna work?"
"It's quite simple, really. I'll inject him with the 'vaccine', wait an hour or so to ensure it's spread properly, and then I'll ... infect him. Or, well, try to, anyway."
"And then?" Linkara asked.
"Then we wait. If it hasn't worked, we'll probably know in a matter of hours, but I'll give it twenty-four hours to be sure if it has worked. And I’d have to check a blood sample to be absolutely sure, of course."
"All right," Linkara nodded. "Let's get started, then."
The Chick, fresh from the showers, knocked on the barracks door. "It's me! Can I come in, or are you two ... busy?" She called, grinning.
"We're decent," she heard Marz's voice. "Come on in!"
"Hey, stranger," Goggles greeted her when she entered. "Did you just come to pick up some clothes, or are you here to stay?"
"I'm back to stay," she said, flopping down on the cot.
"You guys broke up already?" Marz asked. The Chick shrugged.
"We would've had to have had something to break up, first," she explained. "It was temporary, and we both knew it. Just a post-battle fling to celebrate being alive, really."
Goggles raised an eyebrow at her. "For five days? That seems like a pretty long fling to me."
"Yeah, well," the Chick grinned, a little self-consciously. "Apparently, that power ring has some pretty interesting, if unorthodox, applications." She could feel herself blushing slightly, and she really hoped they wouldn't ask further.
"You know what," Goggles said. "I'm not even going to ask."
"Yeah, me neither," Marz agreed. Thank god for small mercies. "Good to have you back, though."
"You sure?" The Chick asked. "I mean, if you guys want some privacy, I can find somewhere else to sleep, you know."
"Actually," Goggles grinned at her. "I had a feeling your little fling thing wasn't going to last long. So we talked about things, and, well ..." She looked over at Marz.
"What she's trying to say," Marz filled in. "Is that we're ... open to suggestion."
It took her a moment to process Marz's meaning. She blinked, and considered the situation. After several moments of silence, she grinned back at them, and said, "I think we're going to need a bigger bed."
19 June 2011
"Don't touch that," Insano's voice cut through the lab.
"That's like the fiftieth time you've said that," Linkara complained.
"That's because you keep touching things! You're worse than a sugar high toddler with ADD, I swear. Sit down and stop fiddling with things before you blow up the whole place"
"But I'm bored," Linkara complained. "Hasn't it been twenty-four hours yet?"
"Almost," the scientist replied.
"Well, isn't that close enough?" Surely a few minutes wouldn’t make a difference, right?
"No," Insano sighed, exasperated.
"Oh, come on, I'm tired of being stuck down here." He knew before he'd even finished saying it that this was not the person to make that argument to. "Sorry," he winced slightly.
"I'm sure you are," the other man said flatly.
Before Linkara could respond, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "Honey, I'm home!" He heard Spoony call down.
"Well, at least someone's in a good mood," Linkara commented as Spoony practically bounded in.
"And why shouldn't I be?" Spoony said. "You're looking nicely non-zombified, which I'm guessing means the vaccine works. We're finally getting somewhere, making progress."
"I still need to test his blood," Insano cautioned. "Speaking of which," he turned to Linkara. "Now it's been twenty-four hours." He took a syringe fro a tray and motioned for Linkara to hold out his arm.
"How long will it take to run the blood test?" Spoony asked impatiently.
"Not long," the scientist replied. Linkara and Spoony looked on in silence as he examined the sample under a microscope. After what seemed like several tense minutes, the verdict finally came. "It's clean." Linkara could see the man's shoulders sagging in apparent relief.
"So the vaccine works?" Spoony demanded.
"The vaccine works," Insano confirmed. "And he," pointedly glaring at Linkara. "Can go back up and stop messing around in my lab, so I can get on with science."
"Great!" Linkara exclaimed, reaching for his crutches. He really needed some fresh air, and a change of scenery, or he was going to start trying to make things explode on purpose.
He assumed Spoony would stay behind to discuss things with Dr.Insano, but the other man caught up with him at the top of the stairs.
"Did you get kicked out as well?"
"No reason to stick around," Spoony shrugged. "He's doing his mad scientist thing, and he doesn't need me for that."
That was fair enough, although it did seem strange that Spoony seemed to avoid spending any time at all with his time-displaced self. (AU counterpart? Potential future self? Trying to figure out their relationship was giving him a continuity headache.) No wonder the scientist was tetchy, really, after being stuck down there alone for months.
"I'm glad you managed to not get zombified, by the way," Spoony continued, and grabbed a Red bull from the small fridge under their desk. Apparently, a secret stash was one of the (admittedly, few) privileges of leadership. "I wouldn't have liked having to kill you, zombie or not."
"Yeah, I would've been a bit annoyed at being killed, too," Linkara said dryly. "And that wasn't the impression you gave me last week, you know." He could see Spoony suppress a wince, and okay, maybe that wasn't entirely fair. Low blow or not, though, it was the truth.
"I never said I'd enjoy it," Spoony pointed out.
"True," Linkara admitted. Them curiously, "So what would you have done if I'd have refused to keep quiet?"
"Spoony smiled semi-apologetically. "I would've followed through."
It was the answer Linkara had been expecting, but it still came as a bit of a blow, even if, intellectually, he knew it would've been necessary. Good of the many, future of humanity, yadda yadda yadda. None of that changed the fact that one of his best friends had been -- probably still was, really -- prepared to kill him.
"I'm starting to see where he came from, now," he told Spoony.
"Who?" Spoony asked, confused.
"Him," nodding towards the door to the lab. Spoony gave a short, harsh laugh, an a hand through his hair, and smiled wryly.
"I know. It's why I don't like to spend time down there. It's too weird, really." He sighed. "This is gonna be a bitch to explain to the others, you know." Linkara had to admit, that aspect of the situation hadn't really crossed his mind yet.
"Do we have to tell them?" He asked after a few moments' consideration. "I mean, we could try and minimise the resemblance between you two, or something."
"What, you mean with a false moustache and glasses?" Spoony said. "Or maybe one of us should grow a goatee? No, that would just emphasise the evil not-really-twins thing."
"Also, we'd have to figure out which one of you is the evil one," Linkara pointed out, grinning slightly. "Okay, so disguising the resemblance probably wouldn't work, but ... Is there any reason the others need to know he's the one that caused all this?"
After a brief pause, Spoony said, "I guess not, but ... I dunno. Honesty, maybe? You don't think they have a right to know, too?"
"So maybe I'm a hypocrite," Linkara admitted. "But they don't know there's anything to know. People are already gonna throw a fit about you -- well, us -- not telling them about him, and about him being here at all. If we can tell them about the vaccine and the weapon at the same time, they'll at least probably be too preoccupied with that to dwell on the rest, but if they know he started all this, how are we gonna convince them to even try the vaccine, let alone the weapon?"
"Maybe you're right," Spoony said. "And after all this time, what's another little lie by omission, right?" He paused for a moment. "You think we should wait to tell them anything until we have a weapon, then?"
"It'll be easiest, I think. Distract them by organising a raid to test it, you know. With any luck, they'll be too busy celebrating the fact that we can really fight back now, and they'll forget to yell at us." At least, he hoped so. He really wasn't looking forward to facing Goggles's wrath, and he'd heard about Ma-Ti's little demonstration during the battle with the crazies. Definitely not something he wanted to be on the receiving end of. "Really, ideally, I wish we'd have a cure before we tell them, but--"
"Apparently, that's impossibly," Spoony shook his head. "Something to do with the fact that the bodies keep decomposing despite the nanites. And anyway, it's probably for the best," he pointed out. "Given how many zombies we've all killed, would you really want to face the possibility that we could've saved them, instead?"
It was, Linkara had to admit, an excellent point. They'd all killed during the battle, killed actual people, but that had been in self-defense, and even then, it hadn't been easy -- not for most of them, anyway. It was much easier to disassociate, to separate the zombies from the people they'd been before, and view them as rabid animals to be put down. He knew that the Critic, for one, had actively gone out to hunt them sometimes. A cure would turn them from animals back into people -- people who couldn't control what they did, so even self-defence would be a difficult thing to argue.
"No, you're right," he admitted. "We'd ..."
"Yeah," Spoony agreed with the unspoken sentiment.
22 June 2011
There was an almost palpable buzz of fearful excitement in the air as everyone crammed into the common room. Spoony could tell people were nervous, both because no one was on guard, and about whatever would prompt him to pull people off guard in the first place. He wasn't feeling too sure about this himself, either. They'd never been entirely sure they'd gotten all the crazy people during the battle, after all, and while they had been pretty safe from roaming packs of zombies, isolated from what had been civilisation as they were, it would be just their luck for a pack to attack the one time the compound was unguarded, and --
He sighed. And he was totally displacing his nerves and anxiety, he acknowledged. He looked over at Linkara, who was trying his best to look encouraging and supportive Yeah, that was helpful.
People were starting to get restless, now that everyone was here. It was time to face the music. He mentally braced himself, and gestured for silence.
"I know you're all dying to know why I called this meeting," he began. "So I'll get straight to the point. We've found a weapon to use against the zombies, something better, more effective, and safer for us than the guns and the flamethrowers. We also have a vaccine. Right now, there's only enough to immunise all of us, but we should be able to make enough to spread it around to other survivors, and--"
"Hang on," the Critic interrupted him. "What do you mean, 'found'? What, it just happened to be lying around behind a couch or something? No one's gone out in weeks except me, and I know I didn't 'find' anything, and you can't tell me those crazy fuckers just happened to have a formula for a vaccine on them."
"No," Spoony admitted. "I mean 'found' as in 'invented'."
"Invented by who?" That was Goggles, looking suspicious and slightly sceptic. "Do you have mad scientist ambitions you never told us about?" Spoony fought back the semi-hysterical laughter wanting to burst out, and frantically avoided looking at Linkara. Trust Goggles to accidentally almost hit on the truth, he thought. "And where?" She continued. "It's not like there's a lab anywhere here."
"Actually, there is," he admitted. "Well, it was a bomb shelter originally, but I converted it into a lab before any of you guys showed up. And as for who ..." He took a deep breath, and braced himself. This was the moment of truth. "Dr.Insano."
The stunned looks on their faces would've been funny if the situation hadn't been quite so serious, Spoony reflected. The silence dragged on for several seconds, until he was ready for someone to start yelling at him already, just to get it over with.
"Dr.Insano?" Ah, leave it to the Critic to come through on that. "Have you lost your mind? What part of 'mad scientist' made you think it was a good idea to hide him away in a lab and trust him to find a solution to this mess that no one else has found yet?" The Critic paused for breath, clearly gearing up for the second part of his rant, but Spoony was spared by Goggles.
"You lied to us," she said, quietly and accusingly, and that was worse than the yelling. He wondered if she'd even heard a single word of the Critic's outburst, or if she was just ignoring him in favour of her own priorities. "He's been down there all this time, and you’ve been lying to us abut it."
Pointing out that technically, he hadn't lied, he just hadn't told the entire truth, was unlikely to go over well, he realised. Instead, he just said, "Sorry," unable to quite meet her eyes.
"The Critic has a point, though," Paw spoke up. "How do we know this vaccine actually works?"
"Because I'm not zombified," Linkara piped up. Oh, very tactful there, Spoony sighed inwardly. That was going to go over well, he was sure.
"You let the bastard test it on Linkara"? Marz shouted. "How could you-- You're supposed to be his friend."
"I volunteered, dammit!" Linkara yelled, clearly frustrated. "Marz, Spoony tried to stop me, okay? I'm the one who insisted on doing it, so if you want to yell at someone about it, yell at me." The look on Marz's face made it clear she was intending to do just that, and Spoony quickly stepped in and tried to regain control of the situation.
"But not now," he said, trying his best to sound stern and leader-like, and very much aware that it probably wasn't working. "Look, you can all yell at me and Linkara later, once we have someone on guard again. Right now, we need to decide how and where to test the weapon."
"Why the fuck should we listen to you anymore, actually?" The Nerd. Great. If he couldn't even convince the guy who barely even know who Dr.Insano was, he really had no hope. He threw up his hands in despair.
"I don't know. Hell, maybe you shouldn't listen to me, you’re right. The only reason I'm in charge is because you all seemed to expect me to be. As far as I'm concerned, if someone else wants to take over, and do the scheduling and the worrying and the keeping track of supplies and the dealing with the general bullshit I keep having to deal with, because let me tell you, it's like herding fucking cats most of the time--" He paused for breath. "If anyone else wants to take all that on, be my fucking guest!"
They all seemed a little shocked at his outburst. Hell, he was kind of surprised at himself. He could see a vaguely guilty look cross Goggles’ face, but before he could really wonder what that was about, the Chick apparently decided to take advantage of the sudden silence.
"If we're all done bickering like children now?" She asked, her voice cold. "Spoony did what he thought was necessary. Whether he was right or not ... Whatever. Hindsight is 20/20, and fuck knows I've done things I'm not proud of, but I did them because I had to. And frankly, we're losing sight of the important thing, here: we. have. a fucking. weapon. So let's use it, let's start fighting back?"
Everyone looked slightly chastised, and Spoony mouthed a thank you at the Chick. She shrugged back, but looked at him oddly, as if she suspected there was more going on than he was telling.
Marz still looked at him with suspicion as well, but her voice was even as she spoke. "You said the weapon needed testing?" They were at least, it seemed, willing to give him a chance, however reluctantly.
He nodded. "It's more or less based on the vaccine -- I don't understand the details -- so it more than probably works, but we need to field test it to be sure. It's ... Well, basically, it's a bomb, sort of, except one that doesn’t damage buildings or anything other than the undead hordes. I was thinking we should test it in that small town south-west of here. It's completely taken over, so there's no survivors to worry about, and loads of zombies in a small place." He could see several interested faces, and breathed a silence sigh of relief. Looked like this might just work.
25 June 2011
"All right, does everyone remember their roles?" Spoony called out. They were gathered outside of the target town, far enough out not to be spotted prematurely, but close enough that they had to start getting ready, and Goggles could tell Spoony was nervous. He wasn't the only one, either. She could see Linkara and Dr.Insano -- and boy, was it still weird to see him out and about -- checking the launch mechanism for the bomb for what was probably the fifteenth time.
"We're all ready," Ma-Ti reported. Then, "Remind me again why he's here?" He nodded at Dr.Insano.
"Because if something goes wrong, or it doesn't work, he needs to see exactly what happened," Spoony explained patiently.
"If something goes wrong, how about we chuck him at the zombies as a distraction so we can get away?" the Critic muttered.
"Oh, great idea," the Chick snapped at him. "Let's kill off the scientist the first time a prototype fails, that makes sense."
"Thank you," Linkara said. Goggles decided not to ask.
"Okay, people, let's stop arguing and start moving out!" Spoony intervened. "Places, everyone!"
Less than an hour later, they were driving in nervously expectant silence through the once zombie-infested town. Goggles could see the point of impact of the bomb, where the ground had been slightly scarred, but other than that, there seemed to be no material damage at all. The only real evidence left behind were the piles of now inanimate corpses littering the streets.
"I think it worked," Spoony finally breathed, and a huge cheer erupted. People were practically dancing, hugging, and Goggles found herself having to squeeze past people slapping people on the back in congratulation to get to him.
"Hey!" She called to him, and found herself wrapped in a hug and twirled around. Under any other circumstances, she would've smacked him for that, but she decided to let it go. Heat of the moment, and all that.
"Guess what?" Spoony beamed at her. "It worked."
"I noticed," she grinned back at him. "And it looks like you're still in charge, then, oh Fearless Leader." The look on his face made her dissolve into wild giggling.
"Well, crap," he sighed. She decided another hug was probably warranted. Herding cats, indeed.
"So, now what?" She asked him.
"Now, we celebrate," he said. "And then, I guess we go on the offensive, and we take this show on the road."
"Sounds like a plan to me," she said.
(In which the compound turns into something of a soap opera; some secrets are revealed (and others aren't); and the zombies might actually put in an appearance.)
13 June 2011
Yawning and stretching, Goggles meandered towards the common room. She could really do with some breakfast, but someone had to check for messages first, and anyway, it was unlikely there'd be anything but cereal to eat, since she was the first one up this morning.
Or not, she amended, spotting Spoony securing the doors on the truck Linkara and MarzGurl had driven. "What are you doing?" She frowned.
"Cleaning up the bodies," he replied curtly. "Figured it'd be easiest to just pile 'em in there, drive it out into the desert, and set it on fire."
"That makes sense," she nodded. "But you shouldn't have done all this by yourself. We would’ve helped, or it could've waited until this morning." Except none of them had even thought about the cleanup the evening before, not even her, she realised guiltily. They all had a tendency to assume Spoony would organise whatever needed to be done.
Spoony shrugged. "I needed to do this," he said quietly, not quite meeting her eyes. She decided not to push it.
"Okay, if you say so. You should probably go and get some sleep now, though."
"Nah, I'm fine," he said, and immediately belied his words by yawning. "There's still a lot of stuff to be done."
'Stuff', she realised, meaning disposing of the bodies, and figuring out what to do about Joe. "I'll take care of it," she said sternly, eyeing Spoony's reaction. She wondered if he'd object to her taking charge of this. Really, though, it was time someone else started doing some of this stuff, and this was as good a time as any to start. "Go get some sleep, you're no use to anyone like this."
He seemed about to protest again, but another yawn cut off his objection. "Maybe you're right," he admitted. "I'll see you in a few hours, then."
Spoony re-emerged in the middle of the afternoon, looking, in Goggles's considered opinion, at least closer to human than he had that morning.
"Right," he announced. "What'd I miss?"
"A lot of semi-pointless dramatics about the betting pool," she replied. "I got someone to drive the truck out and burn it, so that's out of the way. And I mostly organised Joe's funeral. Well, cremation, whatever we're calling it."
Funerals -- actual funerals -- had fallen out of favour in the last year and a bit. Cremation, even improvised as it usually was, ruled out the risk of infection. It was unlikely in this situation, but still.
""I think we should do this tonight," she continued.
"You're right," Spoony said. "If nothing else, in this heat ... Anyway, thanks."
"Don't worry about it," she smiled.
The funeral took place after dinner, and if Goggles was honest, there hadn't been all that much to organise. What it came down to, really, was a semi-improvised wake around a campfire in the central area of the compound. They sat, and drank, and talked. Talked about Joe, mostly, though sometimes the stories wandered.
As the sun began to go down, she pulled Marz closer to her for warmth. "You okay?" She asked softly.
"Bit chilly," Marz replied, and leaned into her. "I'll be fine," she smiled. Goggles smiled back, and turned her attention back to the others. Spoony had just finished a story, and she saw Linkara put a hand on his friend's back. She squashed her rising suspicions. This was neither the time nor place, and anyway, there was no way they could keep another betting pool a secret from Spoony.
Ma-Ti and the Chick were sharing a bottle of something that looked like vodka. And speaking of rising suspicions, that explained why the Chick hadn't slept in their room the previous night. She wondered if it would last.
Marz nudged her side, and subtly nodded at the other side of the fire. Goggles suppressed a wholly inappropriate snicker. The Critic, clearly thinking no one was looking or paying attention, had carefully put his jacket around the Nerd's shoulders, apparently against the cold. And yet they weren't touching; pointedly so, in fact.
"Still doing the Dance of Awkward Boys In Denial, are they?" She whispered to Marz, who muffled a giggle in her shoulder. "It'd be cute if it weren't so ridiculous."
The sun continued to disappear behind the horizon, and eventually, they all fell silent. Spoony caught her eyes, and she nodded.
"I think it's time, guys," she said softly.
The rest was done in silence: the procession out of the compound, the lighting of the pyre, its flames bright against the now almost black sky, sending up the smell of burning flesh which they'd all become far too inured to. Then, as the flames died down, they started to leave in ones and twos, until only Goggles and Marz were left.
"Come on, babe," Marz said, taking her by the hand. Goggles squeezed Marz's fingers lightly, and allowed herself to be led back to the barracks.
The Critic cast a sideways glance at the Nerd to assure himself that the other man wasn't about to pass out. Goggles had done a good job stitching up his arm, and thankfully, the bullet had gone straight through. It had only left a flesh wound, and they'd managed to improvise a decent enough sling. Still, it'd been a long day, and the other man was on a noticeable amount of painkillers. It would be just like the Nerd to pass out and leave the Critic to drag his unconscious ass to their room, or to fall down and hit his head or something. Not that the Critic was fussing, of course.
It wasn't like he'd asked the guy to take a bullet for him, after all, and anyway, he hadn't exactly escaped without a scratch, either. Even apart from the still healing bruises on his ribs and back, his tie had been soaked in blood. At least the thing was red, so the bloodstains were mostly invisible once he'd rinsed it out. Still, that was no excuse for having had to get it bloody in the first place.
"What the hell were you doing yesterday, anyway?" He asked the Nerd.
"Saving your life, maybe?" The Nerd replied, and the fucker had the temerity to roll his eyes at the Critic.
"Oh, fuck you, asswipe. I can take care of myself, you know. And I'm sick and tired of you being in my face all the time, acting like I can't." They'd reached their barracks by now, and the Critic emphasised his point by slamming the door shut.
"Oh, sure, you can take care of yourself. That's why you went and got yourself kidnapped and almost killed, was it?" Okay, that was a low blow even for the Nerd.
"Fuck you," the Critic snarled. He pulled back his fist, ready for a punch, but held back at the last moment. Punching an injured man was below him, really, and anyway, Goggles would kill him -- kill them both, probably. He settled instead for a vicious shove at the Nerd's uninjured shoulder.
"We're shoving now?" The Nerd looked disgusted. "What are you, ten?"
"I was going easy on your arm, shithead," the Critic retorted.
"I still have one good arm, asshole," the Nerd spat, and proceeded to prove it by pushing the Critic back against the door, hard. The ensuing struggle was vicious, but brief, and at the end of it, the Critic found himself pinned against the door, the Nerd's good arm against his throat. "See?" The Nerd smirked triumphantly.
The Critic scowled, and tried to think of a way to regain the upper hand, preferably in a way that wouldn't leave any marks -- again, Goggles would kill them both. Taking a swipe at the Nerd's legs proved ineffective, so, on a sudden impulse, he grabbed the other man's bloody shirt, and yanked him forward into a bruising kiss.
He wasn't exactly sure what reaction he was going for -- disgust, confusion, all of the above -- but he was, he could've sworn, expecting the Nerd to pull back, thrown off balance, which would've given the Critic an opening to make his move. Instead, after a moment in which everything seemed to freeze, he felt the lips under his part, and, reflexively, he followed suit.
They were kissing. Huh. Well, that was new.
New, but necessarily bad. It had been a very long tie since he'd been kissed, after all, and as it turned out, the Nerd wasn't a bad kisser at all. When he pulled back for air, the other man laughed sharply, "Took you long enough."
"What?" The Critic blinked in confusion. He'd obviously missed something, and his brain was no help in trying to figure it out, still stuck as it was on the "Yay, kissing!" part. Fuck, this was going to turn out to be some sort of FoeYay thing, wasn't it?
"Oh, never mind," the Nerd sighed, rolling his eyes at him, and then they were kissing again, and the Critic gave a mental shrug and decided to just go with it. The zombie apocalypse was no time to turn down sex, after all, and he'd slept with more repulsive people. So when a hand slipped under his shirt, he just wriggled happily, and expressed his approval by licking the other man’s neck, until --
"Ow," he hissed as the Nerd skimmed a particularly painful bruise.
"Sorry," the other man muttered. The Critic pulled back a little and surveyed their situation. He could tell the Nerd's arm was bothering him, squished between them as it was, and his own bruises were going to start really being a problem very soon. Dammit.
"Our timing kinda really sucks," he informed the Nerd, and received a wry smile in response. Huh, the man actually looked kinda nice when he smiled. "Right, hang on," he said, and started undoing the buttons on the Nerd's shirt, then carefully eased it off, taking care not to aggravate the wounded arm. He flung the shirt in a corner, glad to have the blood out of sight, and returned to licking the Nerd's neck, grinning smugly to himself when that evoked an approving response.
A light push at the other man's hips got him an annoyed almost-whine. "What?"
"Bed," the Critic said. "Before one of us collapses."
"Oh. Right," and the Nerd's eye widened satisfyingly when, as soon as he sat down, the Critic knelt in front of him, hands going to the other man's waistband.
It was over embarrassingly quickly, and the Critic realised with some dismay that apart from his tie, the Nerd's shirt, and their undone pants, they were both still almost fully clothed.
"We're officially pathetic," the Nerd announced, sounding vaguely embarrassed, and was that a blush? The Critic decided it was, and counted it as a victory. It was also kinda cute.
"We really are," he agreed pleasantly. "Better luck next time?" He wondered if he was pushing his luck, assuming there was going to be a next time. Did FoeYay usually last? Or maybe this was just some delayed post-battle, hurray-we're-still-alive thing.
But the Nerd grinned at him -- and he really did look nice when he was smiling -- and said, "Luck, shmuck. Skill is what it's about."
"Oh, really?" The Critic raise an eyebrow. "And you think you have the skills, do you?"
The Nerd's grin widened. "I'll have you begging in no time," he claimed, and caught the Critic's mouth in another kiss before he could protest.
14 June 2011
When she walked into the common room, Marz was greeted by Spoony, Goggles, and a bleary-eyed Paw.
"Dude, seriously, you can't keep sleeping in here. These couches are not that comfortable," Spoony was saying.
"I know, I know," Paw replied. "I'm just trying to give the lovebirds some space, you know? And the only other bed right now is ..." His voice trailed off.
"Joe's, I know," Spoony finished for him, voice quiet and tense.
"Why didn't you go to the Critic and the Nerd?" Marz asked, trying to direct attention away from Spoony so he could compose himself. "I think they have a spare cot, that would've at least been more comfortable than a couch."
"I did," he replied, pulling a face and looking more than a little uncomfortable. "How should I put this? I think you won the betting pool."
"A betting pool?" A voice came suddenly from the doorway behind her. The Critic. Fuck. "You fuckers had a betting pool?" He looked torn between anger and extreme embarrassment.
"For the record," Goggles said. "I didn't place any bets. I just ran the thing." The Critic glared at her.
"That's even worse," he fumed. "How long has this been going on?"
"Um," Goggles said. Marz tried her best to become invisible, and she could see Paw and Ma-Ti doing the same.
"You know what, don't even answer that. I really don't want to know." The Critic threw his hands up in despair, and Marz remembered the Chick's advise to run away as hard as possible. It was sounding like good advice right now.
"I have a suggestion," the Nerd interjected, sounding suspiciously, deceptively calm. "I think, given the circumstances, we really should be entitled to at least half of the winnings, all things considered." He pointedly looked at Marz, and she sighed.
"Fine," she reluctantly agreed. Even half would still leave her with enough I.O.U.s to never have to do the dishes again, she reflected. And she still had the bragging rights for having won, especially on a last minute bet like that.
"That doesn't mean any of you are off the hook for this," the Critic glared at them, then sighed. "I can't deal with this at this time of the morning. I need caffeine," and he stomped off to the canteen, followed by the Nerd.
"Well," Goggles said. That could've gone worse." Then, looking at Paw, who looked oddly sulky and despondent, "What's with you?"
He sighed. "Everyone is getting laid except me."
"Hey, I'm not getting any, either," Spoony commiserated.
Paw stretched and got up off the couch. "If that's an offer," he said, walking to the door. "Thanks, but I'm not that desperate yet."
"... Hey!" Spoony called after him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
18 June 2011
"Tell me you have good news," Spoony sighed. Insano was certainly looking more hopeful, although that could just be because he seemed to be getting more sleep, lately He suspected Linkara had something to do with that, which kinda weirded him out. But then, a lot about Insano weirded him out. Stupid unstable time loops.
"I have good news," the scientist said. "Well, more or less."
"I knew it sounded too good to be true," Spoony said. "All right, hit me."
"Don't tempt me," Insano muttered. "I think I've found a vaccine," he continued. "Well, it's not a vaccine as such, but it would work like one, anyway." Well, that did at least sound like good news.
"So we'd have something that could immunise people against the nanites?" Linkara asked. "That's good, right? I mean, it's not a weapon, but it'll help stop the spread of the nanites."
"Exactly," Insano nodded. "And once I have something that works, I may be able to tweak it, to--"
"To weaponise it," Spoony finished. "Sounds good to me. So what's the catch?"
"I need to run one more test," The other man replied. "I've tested it as much as I can in the lab here, but it needs to be tested on a person. So I'll need one of you two to be here to monitor me in case it doesn't work, or something goes wrong. Shouldn’t take more than a day."
"Whoa, hang on! You're testing this on yourself?" Linkara interrupted, looking disturbed.
"Linkara," Spoony started, but the other man didn't give him a chance to continued.
"Don't even," he said. "'He might be the only one who can find a cure.' Your words. How does it make sense to risk him if this vaccine isn’t quite finished? If it just needs some tweaking, wouldn't it make more sense to not risk the guy who can do the tweaking?"
Spoony cast a glance at his semi-counterpart. Linkara was making sense, he had to admit. He shrugged. "I'll go for it, then," but Linkara just shot him a withering look.
"Really. And how were you planning to explain to everyone why you're disappearing for a whole day? Not to mention, how am I supposed to explain what happened if t goes wrong?"
There wasn't really any way to argue with that, Spoony admitted. But that didn't really leave them any other options, except-- Oh no. Oh hell no.
"I'll do it," Linkara sighed, confirming Spoony's fear.
"No," Spoony said. "I'm not letting you do this."
Linkara gave him a flat look. "Who's talking about 'letting'? Look, it makes sense. We can't exactly bring in someone else, and neither of you can be missed. But no one's going to notice if I'm not around for a day; just tell them I'm sleeping off the fever or something."
"And if it goes wrong?" Spoony asked.
"Then ... Well, like you said, who’s going to know it wasn't the infection, or the fever?" That was definitely a pointed look, and Spoony suppressed a wince. That was going to get used against him again, he suspected, and sighed.
"Fine," he gave in. "If you're determined to risk your life, who am I to stand in the way? But if you die, I'll kill you." He turned to the scientist, who'd been suspiciously quiet throughout the whole argument. "How is this gonna work?"
"It's quite simple, really. I'll inject him with the 'vaccine', wait an hour or so to ensure it's spread properly, and then I'll ... infect him. Or, well, try to, anyway."
"And then?" Linkara asked.
"Then we wait. If it hasn't worked, we'll probably know in a matter of hours, but I'll give it twenty-four hours to be sure if it has worked. And I’d have to check a blood sample to be absolutely sure, of course."
"All right," Linkara nodded. "Let's get started, then."
The Chick, fresh from the showers, knocked on the barracks door. "It's me! Can I come in, or are you two ... busy?" She called, grinning.
"We're decent," she heard Marz's voice. "Come on in!"
"Hey, stranger," Goggles greeted her when she entered. "Did you just come to pick up some clothes, or are you here to stay?"
"I'm back to stay," she said, flopping down on the cot.
"You guys broke up already?" Marz asked. The Chick shrugged.
"We would've had to have had something to break up, first," she explained. "It was temporary, and we both knew it. Just a post-battle fling to celebrate being alive, really."
Goggles raised an eyebrow at her. "For five days? That seems like a pretty long fling to me."
"Yeah, well," the Chick grinned, a little self-consciously. "Apparently, that power ring has some pretty interesting, if unorthodox, applications." She could feel herself blushing slightly, and she really hoped they wouldn't ask further.
"You know what," Goggles said. "I'm not even going to ask."
"Yeah, me neither," Marz agreed. Thank god for small mercies. "Good to have you back, though."
"You sure?" The Chick asked. "I mean, if you guys want some privacy, I can find somewhere else to sleep, you know."
"Actually," Goggles grinned at her. "I had a feeling your little fling thing wasn't going to last long. So we talked about things, and, well ..." She looked over at Marz.
"What she's trying to say," Marz filled in. "Is that we're ... open to suggestion."
It took her a moment to process Marz's meaning. She blinked, and considered the situation. After several moments of silence, she grinned back at them, and said, "I think we're going to need a bigger bed."
19 June 2011
"Don't touch that," Insano's voice cut through the lab.
"That's like the fiftieth time you've said that," Linkara complained.
"That's because you keep touching things! You're worse than a sugar high toddler with ADD, I swear. Sit down and stop fiddling with things before you blow up the whole place"
"But I'm bored," Linkara complained. "Hasn't it been twenty-four hours yet?"
"Almost," the scientist replied.
"Well, isn't that close enough?" Surely a few minutes wouldn’t make a difference, right?
"No," Insano sighed, exasperated.
"Oh, come on, I'm tired of being stuck down here." He knew before he'd even finished saying it that this was not the person to make that argument to. "Sorry," he winced slightly.
"I'm sure you are," the other man said flatly.
Before Linkara could respond, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "Honey, I'm home!" He heard Spoony call down.
"Well, at least someone's in a good mood," Linkara commented as Spoony practically bounded in.
"And why shouldn't I be?" Spoony said. "You're looking nicely non-zombified, which I'm guessing means the vaccine works. We're finally getting somewhere, making progress."
"I still need to test his blood," Insano cautioned. "Speaking of which," he turned to Linkara. "Now it's been twenty-four hours." He took a syringe fro a tray and motioned for Linkara to hold out his arm.
"How long will it take to run the blood test?" Spoony asked impatiently.
"Not long," the scientist replied. Linkara and Spoony looked on in silence as he examined the sample under a microscope. After what seemed like several tense minutes, the verdict finally came. "It's clean." Linkara could see the man's shoulders sagging in apparent relief.
"So the vaccine works?" Spoony demanded.
"The vaccine works," Insano confirmed. "And he," pointedly glaring at Linkara. "Can go back up and stop messing around in my lab, so I can get on with science."
"Great!" Linkara exclaimed, reaching for his crutches. He really needed some fresh air, and a change of scenery, or he was going to start trying to make things explode on purpose.
He assumed Spoony would stay behind to discuss things with Dr.Insano, but the other man caught up with him at the top of the stairs.
"Did you get kicked out as well?"
"No reason to stick around," Spoony shrugged. "He's doing his mad scientist thing, and he doesn't need me for that."
That was fair enough, although it did seem strange that Spoony seemed to avoid spending any time at all with his time-displaced self. (AU counterpart? Potential future self? Trying to figure out their relationship was giving him a continuity headache.) No wonder the scientist was tetchy, really, after being stuck down there alone for months.
"I'm glad you managed to not get zombified, by the way," Spoony continued, and grabbed a Red bull from the small fridge under their desk. Apparently, a secret stash was one of the (admittedly, few) privileges of leadership. "I wouldn't have liked having to kill you, zombie or not."
"Yeah, I would've been a bit annoyed at being killed, too," Linkara said dryly. "And that wasn't the impression you gave me last week, you know." He could see Spoony suppress a wince, and okay, maybe that wasn't entirely fair. Low blow or not, though, it was the truth.
"I never said I'd enjoy it," Spoony pointed out.
"True," Linkara admitted. Them curiously, "So what would you have done if I'd have refused to keep quiet?"
"Spoony smiled semi-apologetically. "I would've followed through."
It was the answer Linkara had been expecting, but it still came as a bit of a blow, even if, intellectually, he knew it would've been necessary. Good of the many, future of humanity, yadda yadda yadda. None of that changed the fact that one of his best friends had been -- probably still was, really -- prepared to kill him.
"I'm starting to see where he came from, now," he told Spoony.
"Who?" Spoony asked, confused.
"Him," nodding towards the door to the lab. Spoony gave a short, harsh laugh, an a hand through his hair, and smiled wryly.
"I know. It's why I don't like to spend time down there. It's too weird, really." He sighed. "This is gonna be a bitch to explain to the others, you know." Linkara had to admit, that aspect of the situation hadn't really crossed his mind yet.
"Do we have to tell them?" He asked after a few moments' consideration. "I mean, we could try and minimise the resemblance between you two, or something."
"What, you mean with a false moustache and glasses?" Spoony said. "Or maybe one of us should grow a goatee? No, that would just emphasise the evil not-really-twins thing."
"Also, we'd have to figure out which one of you is the evil one," Linkara pointed out, grinning slightly. "Okay, so disguising the resemblance probably wouldn't work, but ... Is there any reason the others need to know he's the one that caused all this?"
After a brief pause, Spoony said, "I guess not, but ... I dunno. Honesty, maybe? You don't think they have a right to know, too?"
"So maybe I'm a hypocrite," Linkara admitted. "But they don't know there's anything to know. People are already gonna throw a fit about you -- well, us -- not telling them about him, and about him being here at all. If we can tell them about the vaccine and the weapon at the same time, they'll at least probably be too preoccupied with that to dwell on the rest, but if they know he started all this, how are we gonna convince them to even try the vaccine, let alone the weapon?"
"Maybe you're right," Spoony said. "And after all this time, what's another little lie by omission, right?" He paused for a moment. "You think we should wait to tell them anything until we have a weapon, then?"
"It'll be easiest, I think. Distract them by organising a raid to test it, you know. With any luck, they'll be too busy celebrating the fact that we can really fight back now, and they'll forget to yell at us." At least, he hoped so. He really wasn't looking forward to facing Goggles's wrath, and he'd heard about Ma-Ti's little demonstration during the battle with the crazies. Definitely not something he wanted to be on the receiving end of. "Really, ideally, I wish we'd have a cure before we tell them, but--"
"Apparently, that's impossibly," Spoony shook his head. "Something to do with the fact that the bodies keep decomposing despite the nanites. And anyway, it's probably for the best," he pointed out. "Given how many zombies we've all killed, would you really want to face the possibility that we could've saved them, instead?"
It was, Linkara had to admit, an excellent point. They'd all killed during the battle, killed actual people, but that had been in self-defense, and even then, it hadn't been easy -- not for most of them, anyway. It was much easier to disassociate, to separate the zombies from the people they'd been before, and view them as rabid animals to be put down. He knew that the Critic, for one, had actively gone out to hunt them sometimes. A cure would turn them from animals back into people -- people who couldn't control what they did, so even self-defence would be a difficult thing to argue.
"No, you're right," he admitted. "We'd ..."
"Yeah," Spoony agreed with the unspoken sentiment.
22 June 2011
There was an almost palpable buzz of fearful excitement in the air as everyone crammed into the common room. Spoony could tell people were nervous, both because no one was on guard, and about whatever would prompt him to pull people off guard in the first place. He wasn't feeling too sure about this himself, either. They'd never been entirely sure they'd gotten all the crazy people during the battle, after all, and while they had been pretty safe from roaming packs of zombies, isolated from what had been civilisation as they were, it would be just their luck for a pack to attack the one time the compound was unguarded, and --
He sighed. And he was totally displacing his nerves and anxiety, he acknowledged. He looked over at Linkara, who was trying his best to look encouraging and supportive Yeah, that was helpful.
People were starting to get restless, now that everyone was here. It was time to face the music. He mentally braced himself, and gestured for silence.
"I know you're all dying to know why I called this meeting," he began. "So I'll get straight to the point. We've found a weapon to use against the zombies, something better, more effective, and safer for us than the guns and the flamethrowers. We also have a vaccine. Right now, there's only enough to immunise all of us, but we should be able to make enough to spread it around to other survivors, and--"
"Hang on," the Critic interrupted him. "What do you mean, 'found'? What, it just happened to be lying around behind a couch or something? No one's gone out in weeks except me, and I know I didn't 'find' anything, and you can't tell me those crazy fuckers just happened to have a formula for a vaccine on them."
"No," Spoony admitted. "I mean 'found' as in 'invented'."
"Invented by who?" That was Goggles, looking suspicious and slightly sceptic. "Do you have mad scientist ambitions you never told us about?" Spoony fought back the semi-hysterical laughter wanting to burst out, and frantically avoided looking at Linkara. Trust Goggles to accidentally almost hit on the truth, he thought. "And where?" She continued. "It's not like there's a lab anywhere here."
"Actually, there is," he admitted. "Well, it was a bomb shelter originally, but I converted it into a lab before any of you guys showed up. And as for who ..." He took a deep breath, and braced himself. This was the moment of truth. "Dr.Insano."
The stunned looks on their faces would've been funny if the situation hadn't been quite so serious, Spoony reflected. The silence dragged on for several seconds, until he was ready for someone to start yelling at him already, just to get it over with.
"Dr.Insano?" Ah, leave it to the Critic to come through on that. "Have you lost your mind? What part of 'mad scientist' made you think it was a good idea to hide him away in a lab and trust him to find a solution to this mess that no one else has found yet?" The Critic paused for breath, clearly gearing up for the second part of his rant, but Spoony was spared by Goggles.
"You lied to us," she said, quietly and accusingly, and that was worse than the yelling. He wondered if she'd even heard a single word of the Critic's outburst, or if she was just ignoring him in favour of her own priorities. "He's been down there all this time, and you’ve been lying to us abut it."
Pointing out that technically, he hadn't lied, he just hadn't told the entire truth, was unlikely to go over well, he realised. Instead, he just said, "Sorry," unable to quite meet her eyes.
"The Critic has a point, though," Paw spoke up. "How do we know this vaccine actually works?"
"Because I'm not zombified," Linkara piped up. Oh, very tactful there, Spoony sighed inwardly. That was going to go over well, he was sure.
"You let the bastard test it on Linkara"? Marz shouted. "How could you-- You're supposed to be his friend."
"I volunteered, dammit!" Linkara yelled, clearly frustrated. "Marz, Spoony tried to stop me, okay? I'm the one who insisted on doing it, so if you want to yell at someone about it, yell at me." The look on Marz's face made it clear she was intending to do just that, and Spoony quickly stepped in and tried to regain control of the situation.
"But not now," he said, trying his best to sound stern and leader-like, and very much aware that it probably wasn't working. "Look, you can all yell at me and Linkara later, once we have someone on guard again. Right now, we need to decide how and where to test the weapon."
"Why the fuck should we listen to you anymore, actually?" The Nerd. Great. If he couldn't even convince the guy who barely even know who Dr.Insano was, he really had no hope. He threw up his hands in despair.
"I don't know. Hell, maybe you shouldn't listen to me, you’re right. The only reason I'm in charge is because you all seemed to expect me to be. As far as I'm concerned, if someone else wants to take over, and do the scheduling and the worrying and the keeping track of supplies and the dealing with the general bullshit I keep having to deal with, because let me tell you, it's like herding fucking cats most of the time--" He paused for breath. "If anyone else wants to take all that on, be my fucking guest!"
They all seemed a little shocked at his outburst. Hell, he was kind of surprised at himself. He could see a vaguely guilty look cross Goggles’ face, but before he could really wonder what that was about, the Chick apparently decided to take advantage of the sudden silence.
"If we're all done bickering like children now?" She asked, her voice cold. "Spoony did what he thought was necessary. Whether he was right or not ... Whatever. Hindsight is 20/20, and fuck knows I've done things I'm not proud of, but I did them because I had to. And frankly, we're losing sight of the important thing, here: we. have. a fucking. weapon. So let's use it, let's start fighting back?"
Everyone looked slightly chastised, and Spoony mouthed a thank you at the Chick. She shrugged back, but looked at him oddly, as if she suspected there was more going on than he was telling.
Marz still looked at him with suspicion as well, but her voice was even as she spoke. "You said the weapon needed testing?" They were at least, it seemed, willing to give him a chance, however reluctantly.
He nodded. "It's more or less based on the vaccine -- I don't understand the details -- so it more than probably works, but we need to field test it to be sure. It's ... Well, basically, it's a bomb, sort of, except one that doesn’t damage buildings or anything other than the undead hordes. I was thinking we should test it in that small town south-west of here. It's completely taken over, so there's no survivors to worry about, and loads of zombies in a small place." He could see several interested faces, and breathed a silence sigh of relief. Looked like this might just work.
25 June 2011
"All right, does everyone remember their roles?" Spoony called out. They were gathered outside of the target town, far enough out not to be spotted prematurely, but close enough that they had to start getting ready, and Goggles could tell Spoony was nervous. He wasn't the only one, either. She could see Linkara and Dr.Insano -- and boy, was it still weird to see him out and about -- checking the launch mechanism for the bomb for what was probably the fifteenth time.
"We're all ready," Ma-Ti reported. Then, "Remind me again why he's here?" He nodded at Dr.Insano.
"Because if something goes wrong, or it doesn't work, he needs to see exactly what happened," Spoony explained patiently.
"If something goes wrong, how about we chuck him at the zombies as a distraction so we can get away?" the Critic muttered.
"Oh, great idea," the Chick snapped at him. "Let's kill off the scientist the first time a prototype fails, that makes sense."
"Thank you," Linkara said. Goggles decided not to ask.
"Okay, people, let's stop arguing and start moving out!" Spoony intervened. "Places, everyone!"
Less than an hour later, they were driving in nervously expectant silence through the once zombie-infested town. Goggles could see the point of impact of the bomb, where the ground had been slightly scarred, but other than that, there seemed to be no material damage at all. The only real evidence left behind were the piles of now inanimate corpses littering the streets.
"I think it worked," Spoony finally breathed, and a huge cheer erupted. People were practically dancing, hugging, and Goggles found herself having to squeeze past people slapping people on the back in congratulation to get to him.
"Hey!" She called to him, and found herself wrapped in a hug and twirled around. Under any other circumstances, she would've smacked him for that, but she decided to let it go. Heat of the moment, and all that.
"Guess what?" Spoony beamed at her. "It worked."
"I noticed," she grinned back at him. "And it looks like you're still in charge, then, oh Fearless Leader." The look on his face made her dissolve into wild giggling.
"Well, crap," he sighed. She decided another hug was probably warranted. Herding cats, indeed.
"So, now what?" She asked him.
"Now, we celebrate," he said. "And then, I guess we go on the offensive, and we take this show on the road."
"Sounds like a plan to me," she said.