Greenhouses, Hot Guy Clones, and the slightly drunken lushes splayed on my deck...
( If I ever become a house wife of the baby toting.. word slinging.. garden one upping variety you have the ultimate authority to SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!! there have been millions of them in the green house this summer and if I see one more.. I will hit some one. And cause Im bored you get this shit...)
MY life as a new cast..
some where a tv sizzles in the background... news program music begins..
.. AND NOW FOR AN IMPORTANT BEHAVIORAL BULLETIN!!
We zoom in on typical blond newscaster..
"In local news.. Madison has now decided that to add to increasing unavoidable awkwardness at work.. she will allow all awkward impulses to become public..
things such as dancing in full view of the public and jumbling of words and the occasional "FUCKING CHRIST ON A STICK!! .. cause.. "she really doesn't care ANYMORE." the young women was quoted saying..
"Life is to short to give a fuck anyway. Some of the happiest people I know are fucking weird.. so why can't I?
Ill make it work.. 'sides to I really give a fuck about what susie lou's grandmother thinks of me anyway...."
Madison would also like her friends and family members to know that she is considering dyeing her hair.. and
gauging her ears to a reasonable size..
AND back to you now BOb with our environmental report... "What's going on in Madi's world today?"..
Screen switches to an older balding dude that really looks like he should be a registered sex offender.. The asshole mops up some sweat off his brow and looks at the screen.. He's picturing Susie naked during her entire "behavioral report"..
"Uh uh.. right Susie.."
"Uh. Madi's Mom had some kind of a gardening party today.. and would like you all to know that despite recent past events.. no drunkards were hurt in the making of this shindig and no lushes were splayed on her deck THANK GOD! However there was a general awkward overlay of loud one upp manship over the entire affair.. "
"Wow Bob.. that's great. What did she do while her mom was talking plants?"
"Uh uh.." fumbling papers in background.. (Bob is still thinking.. of Susie naked..) A picture of the somersworth Wendy's comes on screen. "her dad took her to wendy's with her brother and sister.. there were no fingers of dead relatives in the chili.." Chuckles in background.. "good times..".
Susie; 'WTF??!' "and thats great bob... Now on to our own love doctor.. DR. Mada-tor Lovinsworth great to have you hear Dr. Lovinsworth."
"Good to be hear Susie.."
"Unfortunately there are is no potential lovin this year for our hero. Hot plant guy from last year has disappeared, and has been unfortunately replaced with lesser uggo clones. There were two potential hotties.. however the one with most potential the chatted up another women about the biochemistry involved in top soil choices.."
"So he's cute but a brain?"
"he's cute.. a brain. And she is currently unaware of his age bracket. He could be 20.. or 30? maybe who knows.. but she doesn't know topsoil so she gets no lovin.."
"What about what's his name? Graham?"
"PSH.. GRaham Cracker?! the other plant moving minion/ the brain's bitch? Nahh.. She wouldn't tap that with a 20 foot pole."
"Uhh. thanks for that visual Mad.."
MY life as a new cast..
some where a tv sizzles in the background... news program music begins..
.. AND NOW FOR AN IMPORTANT BEHAVIORAL BULLETIN!!
We zoom in on typical blond newscaster..
"In local news.. Madison has now decided that to add to increasing unavoidable awkwardness at work.. she will allow all awkward impulses to become public..
things such as dancing in full view of the public and jumbling of words and the occasional "FUCKING CHRIST ON A STICK!! .. cause.. "she really doesn't care ANYMORE." the young women was quoted saying..
"Life is to short to give a fuck anyway. Some of the happiest people I know are fucking weird.. so why can't I?
Ill make it work.. 'sides to I really give a fuck about what susie lou's grandmother thinks of me anyway...."
Madison would also like her friends and family members to know that she is considering dyeing her hair.. and
gauging her ears to a reasonable size..
AND back to you now BOb with our environmental report... "What's going on in Madi's world today?"..
Screen switches to an older balding dude that really looks like he should be a registered sex offender.. The asshole mops up some sweat off his brow and looks at the screen.. He's picturing Susie naked during her entire "behavioral report"..
"Uh uh.. right Susie.."
"Uh. Madi's Mom had some kind of a gardening party today.. and would like you all to know that despite recent past events.. no drunkards were hurt in the making of this shindig and no lushes were splayed on her deck THANK GOD! However there was a general awkward overlay of loud one upp manship over the entire affair.. "
"Wow Bob.. that's great. What did she do while her mom was talking plants?"
"Uh uh.." fumbling papers in background.. (Bob is still thinking.. of Susie naked..) A picture of the somersworth Wendy's comes on screen. "her dad took her to wendy's with her brother and sister.. there were no fingers of dead relatives in the chili.." Chuckles in background.. "good times..".
Susie; 'WTF??!' "and thats great bob... Now on to our own love doctor.. DR. Mada-tor Lovinsworth great to have you hear Dr. Lovinsworth."
"Good to be hear Susie.."
"Unfortunately there are is no potential lovin this year for our hero. Hot plant guy from last year has disappeared, and has been unfortunately replaced with lesser uggo clones. There were two potential hotties.. however the one with most potential the chatted up another women about the biochemistry involved in top soil choices.."
"So he's cute but a brain?"
"he's cute.. a brain. And she is currently unaware of his age bracket. He could be 20.. or 30? maybe who knows.. but she doesn't know topsoil so she gets no lovin.."
"What about what's his name? Graham?"
"PSH.. GRaham Cracker?! the other plant moving minion/ the brain's bitch? Nahh.. She wouldn't tap that with a 20 foot pole."
"Uhh. thanks for that visual Mad.."