Comments | buffygirl3: Wedding advice needed

buffygirl3

Wedding advice needed

Jan 26, 2007 10:44

Ok, I am a pretty normal person, I think, but I'm having a seriously difficult time with this whole 'name change' situation. I've always been pretty independant and bloody minded for a start. And I was never very sure why women had to change their names when they got married. Nowhere in the ceremony does it say Do you take this man and his last ( Read more... )

Comments 6

birma January 26 2007, 14:13:43 UTC

Having changed my name once, I will NEVER CHANGE IT AGAIN. I am quite pleased with the name my dad gave me, and some dude doesn't get to come in ahead of dad on that. Maybe that reflects on what a daddy's girl I am, but anyways. I argued with Ray alot about that, actually. :(

a1 January 26 2007, 15:58:50 UTC

I think this is something all modern women think of.
I plan to keep my name for business, but pseudo change for social settings.

aikigrrl January 26 2007, 20:06:30 UTC

I wanted to change my name.
I have a friend who did not change her name.
I didn't have all the crap you have to deal with, too.
I think it's your decision.
About the father thing, though, I think it's not as much for the bride a lot now as it might be for the father. Originally, yes, it was a dowry situation, but now, maybe the father needs it to let go (not a give away but a letting go)... In a general sense--each family is different.
My father had passed away by the time ed and I eloped, and I'm not sure if we'd have had a traditional wedding or not, but he would have walked me down the aisle, I think.
I think there are 2 sides of the coin, but that you shouldn't be forced to be on one of them.

buffygirl3 January 27 2007, 10:38:24 UTC

I like your outlook on the dad thing, even though I don't think he would view it as letting go, esp. since I left 3 years ago.

I'm not so much over the issue now, but I really feel better having written about it. Not sure what the outcome will be, but a rant never does any harm, right?

aikigrrl January 28 2007, 03:27:14 UTC

You have that right--get it out if you need to. :)

samuraigrrrl January 30 2007, 05:14:47 UTC

i think in your situation i wouldn't change it just because of all the paperwork involved. it is ridiculous and completely unfair that men do not have to do all of that (but this isn't a patriarchy... riiiiiiight).
i changed mine the first time because there was a kid on the way and i knew that it would make things easier, later to have the same last name as said babe. the second time i changed it because i didn't want to hang on to the first guy's name and going back to my dad's name seemed just odd.
remember dave's roomate chip? he and his wife both changed their names. he stuck hers after his and she stuck his after hers. so they both had to change documentation. that's equality. it's an idea.
and it really is crap that we're taught that getting married is the end all be all destination, without which we can't be complete. blah.