WE JUST FELT EACH OTHER'S ENERGY, AND IT WAS NICE.
Haha, okay, so I threatened blahblahologist that I would make this post, and now I am.
The Epic KRADAM Bromance Guide For Idiots
(© tnmisery)
Let's start off with some background info on both of them. First up:
Kris Allen
He's Kristopher Columbus, y'all just the pilgrims.
"I'm that laid back guy. I stick my head behind everyone else and every once in awhile peek out and say, 'Hello!'" - Kris
Kris is 23, from Arkansas, and plays the piano, the guitar, and the viola. Possibly more instruments than that, I'm not sure. He's done missionary work in Burma, Mozambique, South Africa, Spain and Thailand, and recently married his high school girlfriend, Katy, but pretty much the second they got back from their honeymoon, he was flying off to Hollywood for the show. He is tiny-- shorter than Ryan Seacrest, even-- and has thus been dubbed the Pocket Idol.
Kris has a sort of Andrew McMahon/early Matchbox Twenty/John Mayer vibe I adore. And he makes the greatest faces:
(This is afer Simon said the finale was going to be a "big ding dong." Hahaha, wtf???)
And he's just plain.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. LOVE.
(AGAIN, YES, THAT IS ADAM AT THE END OF THIS GIF. THESE BOYS TOUCH EACH OTHER. A LOT.)
Anyway, coming into the show, he had nearly zero facetime until the Top 36. Then he sang Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror." Even with no sob story or previous camera time, he made it into the Top 13. He was basically set up as canon fodder, but somehow kept making it week after week. Probably because he is KICK AWESOME (yes, he has used that phrase before).
I think his breakout performance was his cover of Ain't No Sunshine, which is freaking amazing:
Yeah. (This is actually his reprise of it from the top two night, since I can't find an embedded video of the original.)
For movie theme night, like three people did lame Bryan Adams songs and all this boring shit, and then Kris broke it out with "Falling Slowly" from the film Once. I love his studio recording of this, so here you go:
He kiiiilled it. Fun facts: Apparently he watched the movie like three times that week to prepare himself (lol ~METHOD SINGING~), and after his performance, Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová (the original singers) sent him a fruit basket and a letter or some shit because they loved him that much.
At that point, it was obvious Kris wasn't working out to the show's plan for him (ie: GET KICKED OFF EARLY SO THEIR CHOSEN ONES CAN STICK AROUND).
Which segues into our next subject.
THE NUMBER ONE VILLAIN OF THIS SEASON WAS:
DANNY G(TF)OKEY
Every tv show needs an antagonist, and while I am sure Danny Gokey is not an evil, soulless, horrible person, he fit the role perfectly. And he does happen to be a socially awkward, self-important DOUCHEBAG.
Normally I would feel bad about calling someone whose wife just died a douchebag, but his douchiness is so extreme that it outweighs any sympathy I have. Plus, his voice is not that great. He has no musical curiosity. He questionably exploited his wife's death to get on the show and get votes. On a shallow note, he looks like an uglier, chubbier Robert Downey Jr.
Worst of all, he thinks he can "save people" through his music-- and not even in the Pete Wentz way, but in the "I'm an instrument of God" kind of way. He sang shit like "Jesus Takes The Wheel" and belongs to an evangelical church that is possibly also a cult?? I don't even know. But he's really pushy about it and brings it up in interviews, so of course he garnered a fanbase of right-wing nutcases.
Anyway, the judges sucked his dick all season, for reasons I don't really understand, because he wasn't that great and every song he sang sounded the same, and he is so far from anything relevant in today's music scene. So, you know, WHATEVER.
What really made me hate him though is his clear disapproval for Adam Lambert (yeah, we'll get to that later). There was a video clip of him and Michael Sarver, who ties for gold medalist in the AI DOUCHEBAG OLYMPICS this year, talking about how they love each other, then quickly saying, "BUT IN THE RIGHT WAY. THE GODLY WAY." And Adam was quoted as saying that him and Danny had to "agree to disagree" on most things. ALL SIGNS POINT TO DANNY BEING A SMUG, JUDGMENTAL PRICK.
He also butchered my favorite Aerosmith song, "Dream On," in epic proportions with this animal-like scream at the end. And the judges STILL sucked his dick. And he did a duet on "Renegade" with Kris during the Top 4 week, and was horrible and trying really obviously to outsing Kris, and the judges sucked his dick again, and Kris was pissed. When Simon told Kris that Danny did better on the duet, he made this face:
KRIS ALLEN KNOWS WHAT IS UP AND DOES NOT APPROVE OF THIS FUCKERY.
Somehow Danny inexplicably survived, and in the process led to the booting of Allison Iraheta, who is so awesome and adorable there are not even words. She's said in various interviews that she, Kris and Adam were like "two bros and a sis," and it's clear that the three of them are very close. So as you can see, Gokey outlasting her in the competition was rage blackout-inducing on many, many levels.
However, the night after Rock Week performances, when Kris was announced the first to go through to the top three, his reaction was this:
ADORABLE, no?? (And yes, that is Adam he faceplant hugs.)
Top Three week had more blatant attempts by the judges to send Kris home, but then for his second song, he pulled this out of his ass and it was FANTASTIC:
YEAH, KRIS ALLEN JUST BITCHSLAPPED KANYE WEST WITH HIS OWN SONG. HATERS TO THE LEFT.
So DESPITE THE JUDGES' ATTEMPTS, Kris beat Danny to the final two. It was the most glorious moment of television this year. I literally screamed for two minutes straight.
Oh, and if that wasn't enough to make you hate him, after being eliminated, Danny did interviews saying that Kris would win because he got Danny's fanbase, and Danny would've won against Adam because he would've gotten Kris's fanbase, the implication being that NONE OF THEM WOULD VOTE FOR THE SINNER THAT IS ADAM LAMBERT.
And he said shit like this:
When I’m on tour, I want to be able to give the vision of Sophia’s Heart Foundation to my employees, to the workers of my company. And I want them to implement that vision and take the necessary steps to make that vision come to pass. They’ll do all the leg work, do all the writing, do all the meetings, hopefully. And then I want to work on my album. I want to work on writing my own songs, and then coming up with the plan to attack, and I can work on the album at the same time. Because you see, if you put the right people in the right place it will work, because I carry the vision, but I can’t implement the vision. I don’t have enough time. But if they can implement it, I can just spread the word, and they take it from there. Someone else can accomplish my vision for the foundation, but nobody can be me on the stage. I can’t have someone else sing my songs and be me.
Um, OKAY.
Did I mention his pastor told everyone on Twitter to vote for "the believer," ie, Kris? DOUCHEBAG.
I'm pretty sure EVERYONE AGREES, because during the Larry King Live interview with the top 13 contestants, when Danny said that he'd predicted Kris would win because of the "shared fanbase" thing, Kris muttered, "You jerk," into his coffee mug, and it was hilarious, because you could tell he probably meant it (even though he did say "just kidding" right afterward). EVERYONE HATES DANNY GOKEY.
To sum up, my reaction to Danny Gokey's existence is as follows:
NOW, ONTO BETTER THINGS. NAMELY:
Adam Lambert
Bow down and suck his dick because he probably ejaculates glitter or some shit I don't know.
"You guys, I think someone put drugs in this weed"
- Adam
(ACTUAL QUOTE)
Adam Lambert is fabulous. I know way less about him than Kris Allen, because Kris is my favorite. Adam does the glam rock thing for the most part, and his performances are hit or miss for me personally, but he's pretty fucking fierce, and that cannot be denied. He's 6'2". He has real life anime hair. Oh, and he's totally gay, if that wasn't obvious.
One of the greatest things to ever happen to the internet was Adam's personal MySpace. He wrote some really hilarious "dark" poetry:
Dawn.
The ink of night slow dances with muddled fire.
Jagged mountian tops in a breathy mauve peak out of vague camouflage.
A crow moans in horny recovery. Rubbing a last one out amid coconut ghosts and spiderwebs.
This alley cat block still a mystery to me.
On the roof. Seeking proof.
His brother Neil is fucking hilarious. He commented on Adam's Myspace with the following in reaction to this picture:
I see you've reached the stage of your life where you pose topless for Myspace.
I see you've also reached the stage of your life where you do daily Crisco rubdowns.
Sorry about your life.
And he made a post on some forum confirming the gay rumors:
Adam's father also commented on his Myspace saying, How come every time you come over I don't have any vodka left? And his mother apparently wanted him to make more weed butter for her cooking. Basically, the Lambert family is insanely awesome.
As far as the music goes: My favorite performance of his was his version of Mad World. It was pretty stunning. The studio version:
NOW FOR THE REAL REASON I AM MAKING THIS POST:
~KRADAM~
Like a homoerotic Lifetime movie or some shit I don't know
Kris and Adam were roommates from the beginning in the ~Idol Mansion~.
They did "video confessionals" like they do on The Real World. Kris and Adam talked about each other in theirs.
Kris Confessional:
Adam Confessional:
Adam's bidet story is hilarious. And you can tell how much they liked each other from the start.
They had a BUDDING BROMANCE all season long that was fabulous to witness. ALLOW ME TO JUST SPAM YOU WITH MORE GIFS AND JPEGS.
(The reporter just asked if they had made "a secret pact." He was referring to them saying they weren't going to compete against each other, but Kris's WTF face is priceless.)
And, okay, THERE'S THE NAIL POLISH STORY:
According to (friend of the Allen family) Megan Malone, Adam painted Kris's thumbnail after the homecoming visits and removed the polish from one of his own nails, stating 'If you can carry around a piece of me, man, I can do the same for you.' Malone said, 'The Allens believe Kris wears the black fingernail polish in support of Adam because he wanted Adam in the finale. Also, Kris wanted to dispel any rumors claiming the two weren’t great friends.' Kris and Adam were roommates in the Idol Mansion throughout their stay."
“Kristopher painted one fingernail, or I actually think Adam painted it for him. I can’t physically imagine Kristopher painting his fingernail, but he did have one fingernail painted and Adam had one fingernail unpainted. And so it was a little of Kristopher with Adam and a little of Adam came to Arkansas with Kristopher. I thought that was really cool.” -- Mama Allen
Like I said to blahblahologist: TELL ME THAT IS NOT THE GAYEST THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARD.
Their families also are BFFs, their mothers especially. Kris's mom went to Adam's mom's birthday party! They spent the same amount of hours in labor (lololol, what a random thing to reveal, Mama Allen)! Adam's mom says Kris's mom was the only one she was close to, and the night of the finale they all went to dinner and rode in the limo together! They both talk about how their friendship will last for life! IT IS THE SWEETEST THING.
More proof on how awesome Kris's parents are:
Okay, so being from Little Rock definitely has its perks. My mom heard from a lady who's niece is good friends with Katy (Kris' wife) that Adam approached Kris' dad and complimented him on "how he raised him" saying: "He's the only Christian I've met that hasn't judged me." and that he "genuinely loves and accepts me for who I am." Of course I'm only hearing this through the grapevine, but I totally believe it.
♥ ♥ ♥
They made the greatest Top Two ever. You could tell they were having a blast. Like during their duet of "We Are The Champions" with Queen:
"We were roommates, and looking at him across the way singing the lyric 'We are the champions,' I felt very connected to him at that moment. It was the perfect symbolic ending to this whole journey and it really felt like it put the period at the end of the sentence." -- Adam, Rolling Stone
And when Kris won, both of their reactions were adorable:
One of the first things Kris said after he won (after "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?!") was, "Adam deserves this." HOW IS HE SO HEARTBREAKINGLY HUMBLE ALL OF THE TIME. IT KILLS ME.
Their interviews after the finale had some wonderful gems, too. Like when in the immediate post-finale press conference, a reporter asked them which one looked better naked.
Adam responded with: "We don't get naked together. Not like that." It was amusing, to say the least.
But seriously. They both are SO CLASSY AND AWESOME AND SUCH BFFs, IT IS TOO AMAZING TO HANDLE.
"To go through all of this - with HIM - has been the best part" - Kris (on Adam)
"For me, I feel like I relate to a lot of people. And we got to be roommates. It was just like this closeness, you know? I don't know what happened. I think we just felt each other's energy, and it was nice. It just became this really good friendship. Yeah, I adore the guy. I think he's a really great guy. I'm proud of him." - Kris
"We are seemingly so different, but we found a way to get along and find a common bond, mostly through music, but also just through talking and getting to know each other. And if there's anything that can come from this experience that I hope all the fans out there can pick up is that even if you're really different, there's a way to get along with each other. It's not about, 'You beat me because of this.' Or, you're different. It's about finding the common stuff that makes it work. We got out there and did the Queen duet and we made it work because we found a common ground with each other. If there's anything we can take from this, it's bringing you guys together is what our goal was, not separating you." - Adam
"I would hope that in society today that people would accept Adam just as much as they would accept me. You know, that's kind of what the world is about: accepting people and loving people. I hope that that's what me and Adam's friendship has shown people, that no matter how different you are, that you can still love people and be friends with them." - Kris
"I support him 100%. I think he's so talented, and even more than that, I think he's a really good person." - Adam
"We love each other, and we have a great friendship." - Kris
"I said, 'You know, no matter what happens, I'll be your friend for life.'" - Adam
And now for possibly my favorite moment of theirs, THE TACKLEHUG:
It looks like this was the first time Kris was seeing Adam again after his win, and I just love how he flings himself at him. And Adam's face as he says congratulations, and asking him if he's dizzy tired, and Kris is just all !!!!!, I don't know, I love it. They hug like three times in fifteen seconds. So adorable. THOSE BOYS.
Here is hoping the EPIC BROMANCE continues, even though the show is over. SIGNS SO FAR POINT TO YES:
When asked who will get the top and bottom bunks in the AI tour bus:
Adam: I like the top.
Kris: ...
[both laugh]
Adam: That was inappropriate.
Kris: That was good, that was good.
Swapping t-shirts on Ellen:
And from an article about their joint Today Show appearance:
All battle talk aside, the guys legitimately seem to like and support each other. While Kris warmed up, Adam stopped signing autographs, so he could watch (and groove). Kris clearly made googly eyes back at Adam ("in the godly way," as Danny Gokey might say). Later, while Adam crooned "Mad World," Kris strummed his guitar and sang along backstage.
Video evidence:
On speculation that he and Adam Lambert painted their nails as a campaign to get a Kradam finale. (i.e. at the exclusion of Danny Gokey)
That's not what we were saying. This is what we were saying: There was this tabloid thing that came out about me and Adam, about how we don't get along because I'm this conservative kid from Arkansas and he's this L.A. liberal guy. Which, I could be nothing less than conservative. I'm just from Arkansas. And they were like, "He's cranky because he misses his wife and Adam's nail polish is all over the place and they can't get along." And we were like, "That's so stupid. That's the stupidest thing." We just didn't want people to think that we didn't get along. Because we're really great, great friends.
and:
On his frustration with Christians who wouldn't accept Adam Lambert.
There [were all these rumors] about how all the conservative, Christian people that would vote for me hate Adam and never want him to win because of who he is. Oh, it was so frustrating-really bad, because we are really good friends. Why can't everyone get along? It never made any sense for me to judge anyone, who they are. It frustrates me that people can't get along with people because of their differences. And I'll tell you what, especially Christians. Christians have a hard time accepting people like Adam-liberal, from L.A., looks different, maybe acts a certain way. He's a great, great guy. They don't even give him a chance. And it's frustrating because I come from that. A lot of my friends are not that way, which I appreciate, but a lot of people in Arkansas or in the South or wherever are that way. We really hope that our relationship can be an inspiration to people. I could go on about that forever.
PLEASE DO, KRIS ALLEN. PLEASE DO.
There is also, of course, Adam Lambert's epic Rolling Stone interview, in which he revealed his first reaction upon rooming with Kris in the mansion:
"I was like, 'Oh, s---, they put me with the cute guy. Distracting!" Lambert told the magazine. "He's the one guy that I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type - except that he has a wife. I mean he's open-minded and liberal, but he's definitely 100% straight."
He also discussed his crush on Kris more in his Access Hollywood interview (thanks to the awesome ryo_girl for the transcription!!):
Interviewer: Kris was your roommate for Idol....
Adam: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Interviewer: ...and you said that you had a little crush on Kris.
Adam: He is a cute guy, come on, now. I mean, I'm sure the viewers at home...
Interviewer: Who could blame you, right?
Adam: Yeah, but um, his wife is, like, the coolest, coolest girl, they make such a good couple...I've, like, learned a lot from just talking to them about relationships and romance and I think they - they're a great example. They're really, really precious.
Interviewer: Did Kris know that you had a crush on him before you told RS magazine?
Adam: Yeah, I just told him. Like, I told him one day, I was like, "Mm-hmm. Yeah, alright, Kris, yeah you're cute. He's a good-looking guy, so.
Interviewer: And he said he was really flattered by it.
Adam: He's - Kris is so well adjusted. That's how everybody should be, 'cause really it's not a big deal, you know. You can find somebody attractive and it shouldn't be scary, you know what I mean? It's just a compliment.
Video of that exchange:
Kris's response to all that?
"I'm flattered," the Idol winner tells PEOPLE exclusively, "And think it's hilarious."
He later elaborated:
“He was so funny,” Allen says. “He texted me that day, like, ‘I’m so embarrassed.’ I’m like, ‘No, are you serious? Don’t be embarassed. I think that’s hiliarious.’ My wife, she’s so funny. She was like, ‘Tell Adam I have a crush on HIM.’ “
A few days after the Rolling Stone article leaked, they were seen walking into a recording studio together:
Adam mentioned in an interview that one day he'd like to star in Jesus Christ Superstar... with Kris:
"I'd love to play Judas," he said. "That's my dream role."
As for 'Idol' winner Kris Allen, Lambert sees him right up on stage next to him.
"Kris," Lambert said, "he could play Jesus!"
Kris did a recent interview with Yahoo.com:
Kris Allen Talks To Reality Rocks - PART 1 @ Yahoo! Video
Quotes of interest:
--"We are Kradam!" When the interviewer tries to suggest Adamis as a smooshed together name, he tells her that sounds like a robot.
--"Adam stands out like a... like a... like a Adam!"
--The interviewer tells him that in some ways he was the "rebel" by not conforming to expectations of what a Christian stands for by befriending a flamboyant gay Jewish man; Kris's response? "It doesn't feel rebellious. It feels the way it should be."
Really you should watch the whole thing (it's in two parts), he talks a good deal about Adam in general, and some other stuff.
Chilling at Seacret's radio station:
And they recently interviewed each other for the L.A. Times:
The New York Times recognizes their friendship in an article called I Love You, Man (As a Friend) (you have to be a subscriber to see the entire thing on their site, but here is the relevant part):
WELCOME to the flip side of homophobia.
“I’m flattered, and I think it’s hilarious,” Kris Allen told People.com recently, responding to the news that his former roommate and runner-up on “American Idol,” Adam Lambert, had a crush on him.
Mr. Lambert, who favors black eyeliner and leather pants, had told Rolling Stone that Mr. Allen, an aw-shucks Christian from Arkansas, was “the one guy that I found attractive in the whole group on the show - nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type - except that he has a wife.”
This all went down in the same interview in which Mr. Lambert finally confirmed the long-simmering rumor that, yep, he’s gay.
Mr. Allen’s cool, self-assured response to being the object of his gay roommate’s affection doesn’t exactly qualify him as a civil rights hero, not at a time when straight men march against Proposition 8 in California and the most anticipated gay-themed film of the year, “Brüno,” is coming from a straight (if highly waxed) comedian.
But do give him credit for overcoming one of the most common deal-killers in friendships between straight and gay men: the awkward crush.
Kradam interview for TV Guide Magazine:
Allen, 24, told TV Guide magazine, "They gave me a couple feathers ... they wanted to glam up my look a little bit, which I really appreciate, thanks. And they also gave me a headphone splitter so that me and Adam can listen to music after the shows and cuddle."
"They're clearly misinterpreting our friendship," Lambert interjected.
But Lambert collapsed into gleeful laughter when Allen put his arm around him.
"A crush is a very nonthreatening thing," Lambert said of his infamous "crush" on Allen during their time on "American Idol".
"Yeah, I have a crush on Adam," Allen deadpanned. "Can I say that?"
"They'll run with that," Lambert warned.
"Yeah, I'm screwed," Allen said.
Watch the videos; they speak for themselves!
I'm not going to add everything that's taken place over the tour, because this post is long enough as it is, and after all, this is only really a primer. But here is a video of some nice Kradam interaction during the Don't Stop Believing group number:
And some pics:
♥ ♥ ♥
To sum up my feelings on Kris and Adam and what makes their friendship so special: Here are two guys who on the surface have little in common. Here are two guys who society says should barely be able to co-exist, who the show tried to pit against one another, whose competition the media tried to turn into a culture war. And instead of pandering to any of that, they instead became amazing friends who embraced each other fully (literally and figuratively) and without reserve.
To me it is a testament to the power of music, and to the power of the goodness of people. They didn't judge each other. They didn't get competitive. They learned from each other, supported each other, pushed each other to be better. They were able to look past all of the cultural bullshit thrown their way by so many people and see the goodness in one another.
Regardless of whether you're a fan of American Idol or not, this is an example of how people should treat each other. This is something a lot of people could learn from.
If these two guys can love each other the way they do, then maybe there really is some hope for the world.
/sappiness
If none of the above convinced you, this absolutely AMAZING fan vid by bubbleforest will (it includes voiceovers with some of the above quotes, and amazing editing!):
The sad (best???) part is this doesn't even cover everything. THEY ARE THAT EPIC.
......If you actually read all of that and did not defriend me, I applaud you.
Kris Allen thanks you for your time.
ETA: I'm going to be trying to keep this up-to-date as more epicness rolls in. If you think I'm missing something, feel free to comment with suggestions and I'll take 'em under consideration. If you give me links to sources and such, that's even better, and I will be way more likely to add it. I'm totally lazy that way.
The Epic KRADAM Bromance Guide For Idiots
(© tnmisery)
Let's start off with some background info on both of them. First up:
Kris Allen
He's Kristopher Columbus, y'all just the pilgrims.
"I'm that laid back guy. I stick my head behind everyone else and every once in awhile peek out and say, 'Hello!'" - Kris
Kris is 23, from Arkansas, and plays the piano, the guitar, and the viola. Possibly more instruments than that, I'm not sure. He's done missionary work in Burma, Mozambique, South Africa, Spain and Thailand, and recently married his high school girlfriend, Katy, but pretty much the second they got back from their honeymoon, he was flying off to Hollywood for the show. He is tiny-- shorter than Ryan Seacrest, even-- and has thus been dubbed the Pocket Idol.
Kris has a sort of Andrew McMahon/early Matchbox Twenty/John Mayer vibe I adore. And he makes the greatest faces:
(This is afer Simon said the finale was going to be a "big ding dong." Hahaha, wtf???)
And he's just plain.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. LOVE.
(AGAIN, YES, THAT IS ADAM AT THE END OF THIS GIF. THESE BOYS TOUCH EACH OTHER. A LOT.)
Anyway, coming into the show, he had nearly zero facetime until the Top 36. Then he sang Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror." Even with no sob story or previous camera time, he made it into the Top 13. He was basically set up as canon fodder, but somehow kept making it week after week. Probably because he is KICK AWESOME (yes, he has used that phrase before).
I think his breakout performance was his cover of Ain't No Sunshine, which is freaking amazing:
Yeah. (This is actually his reprise of it from the top two night, since I can't find an embedded video of the original.)
For movie theme night, like three people did lame Bryan Adams songs and all this boring shit, and then Kris broke it out with "Falling Slowly" from the film Once. I love his studio recording of this, so here you go:
Click to viewHe kiiiilled it. Fun facts: Apparently he watched the movie like three times that week to prepare himself (lol ~METHOD SINGING~), and after his performance, Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová (the original singers) sent him a fruit basket and a letter or some shit because they loved him that much.
At that point, it was obvious Kris wasn't working out to the show's plan for him (ie: GET KICKED OFF EARLY SO THEIR CHOSEN ONES CAN STICK AROUND).
Which segues into our next subject.
THE NUMBER ONE VILLAIN OF THIS SEASON WAS:
DANNY G(TF)OKEY
Every tv show needs an antagonist, and while I am sure Danny Gokey is not an evil, soulless, horrible person, he fit the role perfectly. And he does happen to be a socially awkward, self-important DOUCHEBAG.
Normally I would feel bad about calling someone whose wife just died a douchebag, but his douchiness is so extreme that it outweighs any sympathy I have. Plus, his voice is not that great. He has no musical curiosity. He questionably exploited his wife's death to get on the show and get votes. On a shallow note, he looks like an uglier, chubbier Robert Downey Jr.
Worst of all, he thinks he can "save people" through his music-- and not even in the Pete Wentz way, but in the "I'm an instrument of God" kind of way. He sang shit like "Jesus Takes The Wheel" and belongs to an evangelical church that is possibly also a cult?? I don't even know. But he's really pushy about it and brings it up in interviews, so of course he garnered a fanbase of right-wing nutcases.
Anyway, the judges sucked his dick all season, for reasons I don't really understand, because he wasn't that great and every song he sang sounded the same, and he is so far from anything relevant in today's music scene. So, you know, WHATEVER.
What really made me hate him though is his clear disapproval for Adam Lambert (yeah, we'll get to that later). There was a video clip of him and Michael Sarver, who ties for gold medalist in the AI DOUCHEBAG OLYMPICS this year, talking about how they love each other, then quickly saying, "BUT IN THE RIGHT WAY. THE GODLY WAY." And Adam was quoted as saying that him and Danny had to "agree to disagree" on most things. ALL SIGNS POINT TO DANNY BEING A SMUG, JUDGMENTAL PRICK.
He also butchered my favorite Aerosmith song, "Dream On," in epic proportions with this animal-like scream at the end. And the judges STILL sucked his dick. And he did a duet on "Renegade" with Kris during the Top 4 week, and was horrible and trying really obviously to outsing Kris, and the judges sucked his dick again, and Kris was pissed. When Simon told Kris that Danny did better on the duet, he made this face:
KRIS ALLEN KNOWS WHAT IS UP AND DOES NOT APPROVE OF THIS FUCKERY.
Somehow Danny inexplicably survived, and in the process led to the booting of Allison Iraheta, who is so awesome and adorable there are not even words. She's said in various interviews that she, Kris and Adam were like "two bros and a sis," and it's clear that the three of them are very close. So as you can see, Gokey outlasting her in the competition was rage blackout-inducing on many, many levels.
However, the night after Rock Week performances, when Kris was announced the first to go through to the top three, his reaction was this:
ADORABLE, no?? (And yes, that is Adam he faceplant hugs.)
Top Three week had more blatant attempts by the judges to send Kris home, but then for his second song, he pulled this out of his ass and it was FANTASTIC:
YEAH, KRIS ALLEN JUST BITCHSLAPPED KANYE WEST WITH HIS OWN SONG. HATERS TO THE LEFT.
So DESPITE THE JUDGES' ATTEMPTS, Kris beat Danny to the final two. It was the most glorious moment of television this year. I literally screamed for two minutes straight.
Oh, and if that wasn't enough to make you hate him, after being eliminated, Danny did interviews saying that Kris would win because he got Danny's fanbase, and Danny would've won against Adam because he would've gotten Kris's fanbase, the implication being that NONE OF THEM WOULD VOTE FOR THE SINNER THAT IS ADAM LAMBERT.
And he said shit like this:
When I’m on tour, I want to be able to give the vision of Sophia’s Heart Foundation to my employees, to the workers of my company. And I want them to implement that vision and take the necessary steps to make that vision come to pass. They’ll do all the leg work, do all the writing, do all the meetings, hopefully. And then I want to work on my album. I want to work on writing my own songs, and then coming up with the plan to attack, and I can work on the album at the same time. Because you see, if you put the right people in the right place it will work, because I carry the vision, but I can’t implement the vision. I don’t have enough time. But if they can implement it, I can just spread the word, and they take it from there. Someone else can accomplish my vision for the foundation, but nobody can be me on the stage. I can’t have someone else sing my songs and be me.
Um, OKAY.
Did I mention his pastor told everyone on Twitter to vote for "the believer," ie, Kris? DOUCHEBAG.
I'm pretty sure EVERYONE AGREES, because during the Larry King Live interview with the top 13 contestants, when Danny said that he'd predicted Kris would win because of the "shared fanbase" thing, Kris muttered, "You jerk," into his coffee mug, and it was hilarious, because you could tell he probably meant it (even though he did say "just kidding" right afterward). EVERYONE HATES DANNY GOKEY.
To sum up, my reaction to Danny Gokey's existence is as follows:
NOW, ONTO BETTER THINGS. NAMELY:
Adam Lambert
Bow down and suck his dick because he probably ejaculates glitter or some shit I don't know.
"You guys, I think someone put drugs in this weed"
- Adam
(ACTUAL QUOTE)
Adam Lambert is fabulous. I know way less about him than Kris Allen, because Kris is my favorite. Adam does the glam rock thing for the most part, and his performances are hit or miss for me personally, but he's pretty fucking fierce, and that cannot be denied. He's 6'2". He has real life anime hair. Oh, and he's totally gay, if that wasn't obvious.
One of the greatest things to ever happen to the internet was Adam's personal MySpace. He wrote some really hilarious "dark" poetry:
Dawn.
The ink of night slow dances with muddled fire.
Jagged mountian tops in a breathy mauve peak out of vague camouflage.
A crow moans in horny recovery. Rubbing a last one out amid coconut ghosts and spiderwebs.
This alley cat block still a mystery to me.
On the roof. Seeking proof.
His brother Neil is fucking hilarious. He commented on Adam's Myspace with the following in reaction to this picture:
I see you've reached the stage of your life where you pose topless for Myspace.
I see you've also reached the stage of your life where you do daily Crisco rubdowns.
Sorry about your life.
And he made a post on some forum confirming the gay rumors:
Adam's father also commented on his Myspace saying, How come every time you come over I don't have any vodka left? And his mother apparently wanted him to make more weed butter for her cooking. Basically, the Lambert family is insanely awesome.
As far as the music goes: My favorite performance of his was his version of Mad World. It was pretty stunning. The studio version:
NOW FOR THE REAL REASON I AM MAKING THIS POST:
~KRADAM~
Like a homoerotic Lifetime movie or some shit I don't know
Kris and Adam were roommates from the beginning in the ~Idol Mansion~.
They did "video confessionals" like they do on The Real World. Kris and Adam talked about each other in theirs.
Kris Confessional:
Adam Confessional:
You can watch this video on www.livejournal.com
Adam's bidet story is hilarious. And you can tell how much they liked each other from the start.
They had a BUDDING BROMANCE all season long that was fabulous to witness. ALLOW ME TO JUST SPAM YOU WITH MORE GIFS AND JPEGS.
(The reporter just asked if they had made "a secret pact." He was referring to them saying they weren't going to compete against each other, but Kris's WTF face is priceless.)
And, okay, THERE'S THE NAIL POLISH STORY:
According to (friend of the Allen family) Megan Malone, Adam painted Kris's thumbnail after the homecoming visits and removed the polish from one of his own nails, stating 'If you can carry around a piece of me, man, I can do the same for you.' Malone said, 'The Allens believe Kris wears the black fingernail polish in support of Adam because he wanted Adam in the finale. Also, Kris wanted to dispel any rumors claiming the two weren’t great friends.' Kris and Adam were roommates in the Idol Mansion throughout their stay."
“Kristopher painted one fingernail, or I actually think Adam painted it for him. I can’t physically imagine Kristopher painting his fingernail, but he did have one fingernail painted and Adam had one fingernail unpainted. And so it was a little of Kristopher with Adam and a little of Adam came to Arkansas with Kristopher. I thought that was really cool.” -- Mama Allen
Like I said to blahblahologist: TELL ME THAT IS NOT THE GAYEST THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARD.
Their families also are BFFs, their mothers especially. Kris's mom went to Adam's mom's birthday party! They spent the same amount of hours in labor (lololol, what a random thing to reveal, Mama Allen)! Adam's mom says Kris's mom was the only one she was close to, and the night of the finale they all went to dinner and rode in the limo together! They both talk about how their friendship will last for life! IT IS THE SWEETEST THING.
More proof on how awesome Kris's parents are:
Okay, so being from Little Rock definitely has its perks. My mom heard from a lady who's niece is good friends with Katy (Kris' wife) that Adam approached Kris' dad and complimented him on "how he raised him" saying: "He's the only Christian I've met that hasn't judged me." and that he "genuinely loves and accepts me for who I am." Of course I'm only hearing this through the grapevine, but I totally believe it.
♥ ♥ ♥
They made the greatest Top Two ever. You could tell they were having a blast. Like during their duet of "We Are The Champions" with Queen:
"We were roommates, and looking at him across the way singing the lyric 'We are the champions,' I felt very connected to him at that moment. It was the perfect symbolic ending to this whole journey and it really felt like it put the period at the end of the sentence." -- Adam, Rolling Stone
And when Kris won, both of their reactions were adorable:
One of the first things Kris said after he won (after "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?!") was, "Adam deserves this." HOW IS HE SO HEARTBREAKINGLY HUMBLE ALL OF THE TIME. IT KILLS ME.
Their interviews after the finale had some wonderful gems, too. Like when in the immediate post-finale press conference, a reporter asked them which one looked better naked.
Adam responded with: "We don't get naked together. Not like that." It was amusing, to say the least.
But seriously. They both are SO CLASSY AND AWESOME AND SUCH BFFs, IT IS TOO AMAZING TO HANDLE.
"To go through all of this - with HIM - has been the best part" - Kris (on Adam)
"For me, I feel like I relate to a lot of people. And we got to be roommates. It was just like this closeness, you know? I don't know what happened. I think we just felt each other's energy, and it was nice. It just became this really good friendship. Yeah, I adore the guy. I think he's a really great guy. I'm proud of him." - Kris
"We are seemingly so different, but we found a way to get along and find a common bond, mostly through music, but also just through talking and getting to know each other. And if there's anything that can come from this experience that I hope all the fans out there can pick up is that even if you're really different, there's a way to get along with each other. It's not about, 'You beat me because of this.' Or, you're different. It's about finding the common stuff that makes it work. We got out there and did the Queen duet and we made it work because we found a common ground with each other. If there's anything we can take from this, it's bringing you guys together is what our goal was, not separating you." - Adam
"I would hope that in society today that people would accept Adam just as much as they would accept me. You know, that's kind of what the world is about: accepting people and loving people. I hope that that's what me and Adam's friendship has shown people, that no matter how different you are, that you can still love people and be friends with them." - Kris
"I support him 100%. I think he's so talented, and even more than that, I think he's a really good person." - Adam
"We love each other, and we have a great friendship." - Kris
"I said, 'You know, no matter what happens, I'll be your friend for life.'" - Adam
And now for possibly my favorite moment of theirs, THE TACKLEHUG:
It looks like this was the first time Kris was seeing Adam again after his win, and I just love how he flings himself at him. And Adam's face as he says congratulations, and asking him if he's dizzy tired, and Kris is just all !!!!!, I don't know, I love it. They hug like three times in fifteen seconds. So adorable. THOSE BOYS.
Here is hoping the EPIC BROMANCE continues, even though the show is over. SIGNS SO FAR POINT TO YES:
When asked who will get the top and bottom bunks in the AI tour bus:
Adam: I like the top.
Kris: ...
[both laugh]
Adam: That was inappropriate.
Kris: That was good, that was good.
Swapping t-shirts on Ellen:
And from an article about their joint Today Show appearance:
All battle talk aside, the guys legitimately seem to like and support each other. While Kris warmed up, Adam stopped signing autographs, so he could watch (and groove). Kris clearly made googly eyes back at Adam ("in the godly way," as Danny Gokey might say). Later, while Adam crooned "Mad World," Kris strummed his guitar and sang along backstage.
Video evidence:
On speculation that he and Adam Lambert painted their nails as a campaign to get a Kradam finale. (i.e. at the exclusion of Danny Gokey)
That's not what we were saying. This is what we were saying: There was this tabloid thing that came out about me and Adam, about how we don't get along because I'm this conservative kid from Arkansas and he's this L.A. liberal guy. Which, I could be nothing less than conservative. I'm just from Arkansas. And they were like, "He's cranky because he misses his wife and Adam's nail polish is all over the place and they can't get along." And we were like, "That's so stupid. That's the stupidest thing." We just didn't want people to think that we didn't get along. Because we're really great, great friends.
and:
On his frustration with Christians who wouldn't accept Adam Lambert.
There [were all these rumors] about how all the conservative, Christian people that would vote for me hate Adam and never want him to win because of who he is. Oh, it was so frustrating-really bad, because we are really good friends. Why can't everyone get along? It never made any sense for me to judge anyone, who they are. It frustrates me that people can't get along with people because of their differences. And I'll tell you what, especially Christians. Christians have a hard time accepting people like Adam-liberal, from L.A., looks different, maybe acts a certain way. He's a great, great guy. They don't even give him a chance. And it's frustrating because I come from that. A lot of my friends are not that way, which I appreciate, but a lot of people in Arkansas or in the South or wherever are that way. We really hope that our relationship can be an inspiration to people. I could go on about that forever.
PLEASE DO, KRIS ALLEN. PLEASE DO.
There is also, of course, Adam Lambert's epic Rolling Stone interview, in which he revealed his first reaction upon rooming with Kris in the mansion:
"I was like, 'Oh, s---, they put me with the cute guy. Distracting!" Lambert told the magazine. "He's the one guy that I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type - except that he has a wife. I mean he's open-minded and liberal, but he's definitely 100% straight."
He also discussed his crush on Kris more in his Access Hollywood interview (thanks to the awesome ryo_girl for the transcription!!):
Interviewer: Kris was your roommate for Idol....
Adam: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Interviewer: ...and you said that you had a little crush on Kris.
Adam: He is a cute guy, come on, now. I mean, I'm sure the viewers at home...
Interviewer: Who could blame you, right?
Adam: Yeah, but um, his wife is, like, the coolest, coolest girl, they make such a good couple...I've, like, learned a lot from just talking to them about relationships and romance and I think they - they're a great example. They're really, really precious.
Interviewer: Did Kris know that you had a crush on him before you told RS magazine?
Adam: Yeah, I just told him. Like, I told him one day, I was like, "Mm-hmm. Yeah, alright, Kris, yeah you're cute. He's a good-looking guy, so.
Interviewer: And he said he was really flattered by it.
Adam: He's - Kris is so well adjusted. That's how everybody should be, 'cause really it's not a big deal, you know. You can find somebody attractive and it shouldn't be scary, you know what I mean? It's just a compliment.
Video of that exchange:
Kris's response to all that?
"I'm flattered," the Idol winner tells PEOPLE exclusively, "And think it's hilarious."
He later elaborated:
“He was so funny,” Allen says. “He texted me that day, like, ‘I’m so embarrassed.’ I’m like, ‘No, are you serious? Don’t be embarassed. I think that’s hiliarious.’ My wife, she’s so funny. She was like, ‘Tell Adam I have a crush on HIM.’ “
A few days after the Rolling Stone article leaked, they were seen walking into a recording studio together:
Adam mentioned in an interview that one day he'd like to star in Jesus Christ Superstar... with Kris:
"I'd love to play Judas," he said. "That's my dream role."
As for 'Idol' winner Kris Allen, Lambert sees him right up on stage next to him.
"Kris," Lambert said, "he could play Jesus!"
Kris did a recent interview with Yahoo.com:
Kris Allen Talks To Reality Rocks - PART 1 @ Yahoo! Video
Quotes of interest:
--"We are Kradam!" When the interviewer tries to suggest Adamis as a smooshed together name, he tells her that sounds like a robot.
--"Adam stands out like a... like a... like a Adam!"
--The interviewer tells him that in some ways he was the "rebel" by not conforming to expectations of what a Christian stands for by befriending a flamboyant gay Jewish man; Kris's response? "It doesn't feel rebellious. It feels the way it should be."
Really you should watch the whole thing (it's in two parts), he talks a good deal about Adam in general, and some other stuff.
Chilling at Seacret's radio station:
And they recently interviewed each other for the L.A. Times:
The New York Times recognizes their friendship in an article called I Love You, Man (As a Friend) (you have to be a subscriber to see the entire thing on their site, but here is the relevant part):
WELCOME to the flip side of homophobia.
“I’m flattered, and I think it’s hilarious,” Kris Allen told People.com recently, responding to the news that his former roommate and runner-up on “American Idol,” Adam Lambert, had a crush on him.
Mr. Lambert, who favors black eyeliner and leather pants, had told Rolling Stone that Mr. Allen, an aw-shucks Christian from Arkansas, was “the one guy that I found attractive in the whole group on the show - nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type - except that he has a wife.”
This all went down in the same interview in which Mr. Lambert finally confirmed the long-simmering rumor that, yep, he’s gay.
Mr. Allen’s cool, self-assured response to being the object of his gay roommate’s affection doesn’t exactly qualify him as a civil rights hero, not at a time when straight men march against Proposition 8 in California and the most anticipated gay-themed film of the year, “Brüno,” is coming from a straight (if highly waxed) comedian.
But do give him credit for overcoming one of the most common deal-killers in friendships between straight and gay men: the awkward crush.
Kradam interview for TV Guide Magazine:
Allen, 24, told TV Guide magazine, "They gave me a couple feathers ... they wanted to glam up my look a little bit, which I really appreciate, thanks. And they also gave me a headphone splitter so that me and Adam can listen to music after the shows and cuddle."
"They're clearly misinterpreting our friendship," Lambert interjected.
But Lambert collapsed into gleeful laughter when Allen put his arm around him.
"A crush is a very nonthreatening thing," Lambert said of his infamous "crush" on Allen during their time on "American Idol".
"Yeah, I have a crush on Adam," Allen deadpanned. "Can I say that?"
"They'll run with that," Lambert warned.
"Yeah, I'm screwed," Allen said.
Watch the videos; they speak for themselves!
I'm not going to add everything that's taken place over the tour, because this post is long enough as it is, and after all, this is only really a primer. But here is a video of some nice Kradam interaction during the Don't Stop Believing group number:
And some pics:
♥ ♥ ♥
To sum up my feelings on Kris and Adam and what makes their friendship so special: Here are two guys who on the surface have little in common. Here are two guys who society says should barely be able to co-exist, who the show tried to pit against one another, whose competition the media tried to turn into a culture war. And instead of pandering to any of that, they instead became amazing friends who embraced each other fully (literally and figuratively) and without reserve.
To me it is a testament to the power of music, and to the power of the goodness of people. They didn't judge each other. They didn't get competitive. They learned from each other, supported each other, pushed each other to be better. They were able to look past all of the cultural bullshit thrown their way by so many people and see the goodness in one another.
Regardless of whether you're a fan of American Idol or not, this is an example of how people should treat each other. This is something a lot of people could learn from.
If these two guys can love each other the way they do, then maybe there really is some hope for the world.
/sappiness
If none of the above convinced you, this absolutely AMAZING fan vid by bubbleforest will (it includes voiceovers with some of the above quotes, and amazing editing!):
The sad (best???) part is this doesn't even cover everything. THEY ARE THAT EPIC.
......If you actually read all of that and did not defriend me, I applaud you.
Kris Allen thanks you for your time.
ETA: I'm going to be trying to keep this up-to-date as more epicness rolls in. If you think I'm missing something, feel free to comment with suggestions and I'll take 'em under consideration. If you give me links to sources and such, that's even better, and I will be way more likely to add it. I'm totally lazy that way.