The subject of this journal died the day of her last entry.  She was found asphyxiated in her hotel room.

A letter was left depicting her thoughts, problems and reasons for suicide.

Details of events leading up to her death remain private to close friends and family.

 I'm sitting in this hotel room and what's about to happen might change my life flip-side.

It's really loud in my head today.

Knock, knock.

SOMEONE hit me with the shit stick, I KNOW it, I KNOW someone did it.

Was it you?  Was it?  Fess up, suckshit!

I can't believe summer is half over and my brain has been hijacked by a love confessional from a man who's got a fiancee--- and I'm still dating a married dude!

... Okay, you're right, it's my apathetic ass's fault, I'll admit it.   ( Read more... )

 I'm really starting to fight with myself.

Last Saturday, I drove off the ramp from the highway and saw a 6-weekish old kitten walking the cement curb between the offramp and the grass of the median.  I could have pulled over but I was on my way to work.  I passed the little black fluff ball.  For a second, my heart felt shattered.  Then, out loud, ( Read more... )

 Why is it that I just can't chill the fuck out?

It's that feeling of impending doom…except, truly, everything that's needed to be done is done. My brain is still crack rock wired. Ha, I took a nap yesterday afternoon, woke up at five and thought it was this morning. I panicked about being late to my auto mechanic.

My insane workload at this tiny ( Read more... )

 Success!  An apartment!

I'm lying here among strewn clothing, Yoohoo cans, cardboard and clear plastic bags.  I am exhaustingly sick.  Jinks has gone to work two days in a row without me rising with him.  Those forged doctor's notes better be good, I'm at the max amount of class absences as it is.  I hate having the immune system of a bubble boy.

I' ( Read more... )

We sat there twiddling our thumbs and choking down cigarettes, staring through the rear view mirrors at the overloading amount of stuff collected in my backseat.  What else are you gonna do hours after coming back to a house to find all your stuff outside in the driveway?  Jinks got a very unexpected boot from our friend's mum's house.  Zero ( Read more... )

 These bacon buttermilk  pancakes I made are delicious.  Mixed with the maple syrup and the hazelnut flavored coffee, I'd say this is the best start of a being-in-sick Valentine's day morning.

Loverboy awoke to find me standing in the middle of his room barefoot and staring at the floor.  I woke up feeling ill after some dream went rampant in my ( Read more... )

 In that warm, snow-lit dark he took my hand in his and raised it towards the window.

Finger out stretched, he said, "One day, we're going to close our eyes, point and wherever it may be we'll travel endlessly in that direction."

I snap my gum.

I'm slumped here on my drawing desk with my remaining 8 classmates staring into the screen playing a ( Read more... )

Happy New Year! Bullocks and sunshine! Craps and Applejacks! Cheers for queers ( Read more... )